Is Our Ex-“presidents” Learning?

WTF, USA

April 27, 2012

         Never Forget

George W. Bush came out of hiding for some unknown reason to throw his tongue into the ring as the 2012 Republican’t primary disintegrates at long last into the unavoidable Romney nomination.  The Toxic Appointee who has been persona non grata during the first year of the Republican’t primary poked his way back into the public eye – the public eye he so thoroughly blackened for eight years.  His bungled presidency, after being appointed by the radical activist Supreme Court, has left us on the brink of countless disasters.  You name it he fucked it up royally.

Yes the economy under Obama is in the toilet, but he started out with the worst economic scenario of any president in modern history.  Unlike Bush who started out with the best economic scenario a president could hope for and wasted no time treating it like it was his own liver.  Think of Obama’s mission as akin to being made captain of the Titanic minutes after it hit the iceberg.  Okay son, it’s all yours take her back into port.  I’m going below for a nap.  Oh yeah, and the crew hates your guts, but not because you’re black…we swear.

What would you expect after eight years of resolute, enthusiastic dismantling of the American social and economic structure?  Let’s not even get into the moral decay consequent to the illegal invasion of Iraq for no good reason after allowing 9/11 on his watch, the codification of torture, the elimination of Habeas Corpus, The PATRIOT Act, the unprecedented wiretapping of millions of Americans and…Dick Cheney.

Just a few interesting statistics to consider:

·         According to the Office of Management and Budget, the national debt under W increased every single year, from $5.63B in 2000 to $9.99B in 2008. 

·         The Census Bureau tells us that median household income started at $52,500 in 2000, hit $50,600 in 2004, rebounded to $52,000 in 2007 and ended up at $50,200 in 2008.

·         Employment in manufacturing was on an upward trend throughout the 1990s. It went downhill every year from 2000 to 2008 according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

·         Throughout most of the 20th century – from 1950 to 1980 – hourly wages increased at about the same rate as productivity. From 2000 through 2008 productivity went through the roof as wages went absolutely nowhere.

·         The Dow Jones under G.W. Bush started at 9880 and ended up at 7600 (-25%), under Obama it started at 7600 and is currently over 13000 (+68%)

The one thing that went up between 2001 and 2007 was corporate profits.  Corporate profits experienced average annual growth of 10.8%, as compared with average growth of 7.4% during comparable post-war periods.  Heck of a job Bushie.

Befuddled and bewildering as ever, the ex-“president” stood before cameras, and what one must assume was a well-paid audience, to tell us he doesn’t need the limelight because he already had enough of the limelight.  I can’t help but wonder if this knucklehead is ever fully conscious.

It’s difficult to recreate the vapid look, the facial missteps and the unforgettable oratory nuances of the Grating Communicator’s live performance via the printed word.  Let’s just say that The Little “President” That Couldn’t has not lost any of his elocutionary elegance.  “If you raise taxes, inotherwords if you let the I wish they weren’t called the Bush Tax Cuts, if they were called some other body’s tax cuts they’re probably less likely to be raised. Heh heh.”  A skunk by any other name…

Extending the insane, already devastating Bush tax cuts for 10 years will result in $4T in debt.  Willard Romney and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Ayn Rand) are proposing not only extending the Bush cuts, but also adding another $2T in debt by cutting critical social programs for the poorest among us.  They want means testing for people on welfare – if they have $2000 in the bank they’re too rich for welfare, but if they’re millionaires they can still collect Social Security.  And people actually vote for these guys? 

Tune in next time when we hear George W. say, “Iffen only my name hadn’t a been George maybe the whole world wouldn’t a thought I was the worst fucking president in Amurkin history.  Ah lived up to every misunderestimation y’all had of me.  I never made any mistakes and my mother, who hates jes about everyone else loves me.  Now watch this drive.”

In other news, from the Bureau of AYFKM: In 2010, when Obama first tried to modestly raise taxes on the richest Americans, Steven Schwartzman who runs the world’s largest private equity fund – buyout giant, The Blackstone Group – compared the president’s attempt to level the playing field to…wait for it: "It's a war.  It's like when Hitler invaded Poland in 1939."  Last year Schwartzman took home over $123M in pay and dividends, 30% more than in 2010.  I assume that Schwartzman is Jewish.  Maybe Jews should consider learning how to do excommunications.  Or maybe a cage match between Schwartzman and Mel Gibson.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and justice for all) invited.

thought for the day...

EARTH FIRST!

I know that I shall never see a blog post lovely as a tree.

HAPPY EARTH DAY 2012

Newt vs. Penguin

St. Louis Zoo

April 20, 2012

While not nearly as exciting as Godzilla vs. Mothra or even Seymour vs. The Frogman, this bit of Newt news shouldn’t be missed.  Newt was visiting the St. Louis Zoo earlier this week desperately wooing the only demographic likely to favor him in any election.  All polling shows that Newt does best among non-mammals, especially those incarcerated for public abusement.   As Newt made his way through the various snails, lizards, birds and insects he stopped to spend some extra time with the penguins.  Newt became enraged by something one of the penguins said about his failures political and personal and began lecturing the bemused creature.  Pompous and overbearing as always, the lesser beast began arrogantly gesturing with his finger causing the penguin to nip Newt’s disrespectful digit.

Mr. Gingrich sustained only a mild injury before the Secret Service ditched their hookers and wrestled the enraged bird to the ground.  Several of the agents then had to be forcibly separated from the penguin unable to stop stroking the now horrified fowl.

While Gingrich received a band-aid the penguin almost immediately swelled up to almost twice its original size and subsequently refused to return to its long-time mate.  We will update you on the penguin’s condition as details become available.  We will not update you on Gingrich for any reason whatsoever.

Cat’s Crotch Fever

The Center Of The Wasted Mind
April 20, 2012

Rock stub and NRA spokesmonkey Ted Nugent shot off his mouth again, but not in the way you would hope.  The troublesome troubadour who often takes the stage armed with automatic weapons just can’t STFU.  As far as the music goes, I’m sure he sounds better on an AK-47 than he does on any guitar unfortunate enough to have its neck wrenched by the Nuge.  During the 2008 primary the repulsive retro-rocker called Sen. Barack Obama a "piece of shit" and called Hillary Clinton a "worthless bitch."  His brilliant repartee continued with Nugent holding up two assault rifles calling on Obama and Sen. Barbara Boxer "to suck on my machine gun" and then aiming his imaginary wit at Clinton saying, "You might want to ride one of these into the sunset."  I can see why Sean Hannity has such a man-crush on Mitt Romney’s latest celebrity loser endorsement.

His latest attempt at verbal communication included “We need to ride into that battle field and chop their heads off in November!  Any questions?”  Just one amigo – if you’re such a tough guy why did you dodge the draft during Vietnam?  Even though I detest hypocrites like you I have to give you points for style.  None of Dick Cheney’s five deferments even vaguely resembled your ploy of literally wallowing in your own filth, not bathing, gorging yourself on junk food and then pissing and shitting yourself in preparation for your Draft Board physical.  Classy and gutsy.  You go girl.

Nugent closed his latest plea for insanity croaking, “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”  My prayers are with you brother and my support for Obama just kicked up a notch.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible Any comment invited.

Who am I? 

 
My brain is too small.
My term is too long.
My loyalty can be
Bought for a song.
I make my own rules.
Take the people for dupes.
Yet you elect me again
And again, then say Oops.

60%.

That’s the rule in the Senate.  60%.  For anything to happen in the Senate you need a 60% majority.  Not a simple majority, which works in almost any situation where people are asked to choose one thing over another - that would be 51%.  Sure it tends to be annoying to almost half of those involved, but that’s life.  Except in the Senate, once considered the greatest deliberative body in the world.  Now just a bunch of corporate-owned brats holding their breath until they get what they want.  And since there’s not an actual 60% majority for either party, and barely a backbone among them the U.S. Senate has become a legislative Black Hole.  Anything that gets within a hundred yards of the place gets sucked in never again to see the light of day.

You only need 66% of the states to ratify a Constitutional Amendment,  one of the largest hurdles in American politics.  But you need 60% to get a damn thing done in the U.S. Senate.  Because they make up their own rules.  And who the fuck are they?  Senators were appointed by state legislatures until the early 1900s.  Now their positions are purchased by large corporations who allow the public to hold mock elections that enable these whores to sit for six years at a stretch for as long as they like, after which time they become corporate executives for the very firms who put them in position to make (usually stifle) laws in order to benefit their benefactors.  To be fair, this isn’t true of all senators…only about 98% of them.

It’s time for We The People to adopt the same laws as our esteemed senate.  No election shall be decided unless the victor garners at least 60% of the vote.  If nobody has 60% there must be a do-over.  That is, assuming no one decides to filibuster the whole process.  And when it comes to electing a president, the winner must have a two-thirds majority.  Oh, and one more thing; absolutely zero tolerance for having any more presidents appointed by five (or any number of) Supreme Court justices, even if they one day turn out to be liberal…or even judicial.

Apologies to Al Franken (D-MN), Amy Klobuchar (D-MN), Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI)

Occupy The Future.

Ed Venture, peace out.

Newt Gingrich, still pretending to run for president in an effort to raise enough money to pay off his Tiffany's tab and with any luck afford another year of hair sculpting for his android wife, continues the Herculean self delusion that got him where he is today.  Wherever that is?  I don't think he really believes he can be president, but i have no doubt that he really does believe himself incredibly smart - too smart for the likes of us.  I mean c'mon, when was the last time you were disgraced ex-speaker of the House? 

Sure the hard evidence against this theory of his is overwhelming, but he's just so soft and squishy looking you almost want to cut him some slack. Then he opens that yawning chasm under his blobulent nose and you just want to stick a pin in him and watch him carom around the room as all the fetid air empties out of him until he's nothing more than the empty promise of the Bad Old Days and his Contract On America. Keep up the good work Newt. You're doin' a heck of a job.

It Can Happen Here

Here
April 15, 2012

I've been putting this off for a long time...maybe not long enough.  I retort, you decide.  Some of you have been assaulted by email, some on paper, never on the very internets themselves by the politically motivated stylings of one I. Mangrey.  Mr. Mangrey has agreed to post his prose on the new blog, founded by yours truly Ed Venture.  I and I have decided to call this blog Paying Attention - as in, "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention."  But you probably knew that already.  So sit back and enjoy or whatever it is you feel the need to do when you're here with us.  Don't hesitate to chime in; as the man says, "Responsible comment invited."  I'll add this: Irresponsible comments are just as welcome.  So have at it.

It's Mitt

Give Me Parole Or Give Me Death

The Belly of the Beast

Friday, April 13, 2012

In a stunning turn of events, famed lunatic and cult leader Charles Manson was denied parole again…for the twelfth time.  This is a major blow to the Republican’t party who was hoping that Mr. Manson would finally be freed from prison and able to jump into the 2012 primary race.  Frank Luntz and his lecherous lynchers of language have been hard at work re-branding Manson in anticipation of getting him sprung in time to save their nominating process before the general election in November.  Apparently the GOP is uncomfortable having a presidential candidate running from behind prison walls.  Who knew? 

 

Luntz was hard at work selling the Pied Piper of mass murder instead as a bold leader unafraid to think outside the box, an inspiring icon of the people, an independent spirit – a Maverick, if you will – who always fought against The Man and his Big Government, a self-made man who, while others were content to wear their flag on their lapels put the symbol of the land he loves where it really counts – etched into his forehead.

Party leaders were sure that Manson would be the one to finally get Mitt Romney out of the driver’s seat and strapped neatly to the roof of the Republican’t clown car.  Now that Rick “Mr. Frothy” Santorum has seen his shadow, the writing on the wall and the Will of God insisting he exit the race (oh, and the impending humiliation of losing in his “home” state…again), there appears to be nobody left in the general population to save the Republican’ts from themselves and from nominating the hated flip-flopping gaff machine, Mitt Romney.

This is why the party that hates women, Hispanics, Blacks, gays and lesbians, workers, poor people, the elderly and anyone not voting Republican’t was pinning all its dwindling and pathetic hopes on getting Charlie into the fray.  He is clearly more stable and intelligent than any of the cavalcade of lesser lights we have seen come and go during this Everlasting GOP-Stopper of a primary – Donald “I’m Not Bankrupt This Week” Trump, Michelle “Democrats Ate My Brain” Bachman, Herman “9-9-9” Cain, Newt “I’m The Smartest Man In The World” Gingrich and finally Rick “Man-On-Dog” Santorum.  The Republican’ts were hoping that Manson would turn the tide since he is known to have had a way with women.

In other news, from the Bureau of Making Shit Up:  Alan West (R-Looney Bin) “I believe there’s 78 to 81 members of the Democrat party that are members of the Communist Party.”  After letting fly with this insane crap, the mentally unstable Rep. West stood there doing his best impression of Clarence Thomas during oral arguments over the past five years; that is, staring off into space without saying a word, somehow managing to remain upright while simultaneously unconscious.  Meanwhile the crowd he had just verbally assailed murmured in utter disbelief…or stupidity.  Apparently, after a half minute or so he was able to re-engage the tiny bit of fleshy material between his ears long enough to continue, “No, they actually don’t hide it.  It’s called the congressional progressive caucus.”  Many Repubs have recently floated West as a running mate for Manson Romney.  No, seriously.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment invited.