This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Leave It To Beavers

Are You As Smart As A Beaver?

August 5, 2026

Maybe we can have a few nice things. Can’t beat beavers...

Scotland Released 11 Beavers Into A Dying River:
What Happened Next Seemed Like A Miracle

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Thought For The Day – A Real Cut-up

Too Cruel For Pool

August 4, 2026

Deathbed Donny insisted that vandals – in particular a 67-year-old former Olympian David Hearn who was indicted by the Department of Justice-for-Trump – slashed a 295 or 300 or 350-foot gash in the brand-new, allegedly-indestructible algae-encouraging Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Puss Pool coating, badly applied and subsequently rumbled over by Donny’s caravan (because what president, or anyone else for that matter, wouldn’t want to drive a bunch of cars through the Reflecting Pool for no fucking reason).

If vandals could in fact be blamed, they were not radical left, boxcutter-wielding lunatics as some suggested. It certainly could have been a bunch of yahoos caught flagrantly driving a motorcade across the freshly painted and sealed landmark.

A caravan of cretins, lead by none other than Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump
drove across the newly renovated Reflecting Pool before it was refilled with
what would quickly become a massive algae bloom and total embarrassment

It turns out, as just about everyone knew, that the crappy contractors hired via illegal no-bid contract – originally touted as a one-to-two-million dollar job, which suddenly ballooned to sixteen million (no doubt replete with a massive kickback to Trump) – did a typical Trumpian shitty job, which almost immediately fell apart because of said shitty job.

Even Donny’s old pal and current U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia Jeanine Pirro had to admit it was not vandals and that all the evidence pointed to the fact that Trump’s shitty contractor did a shitty job and had to drop all charges against Hearn.

The main thing I can’t understand is, since Deadbeat Don assured everyone, on live television, that this amazing, very strong and powerful pool coating could not be cut by any blade with the possible exception of Excalibur or perhaps Anduril, or maybe bashed into submission with Thor’s Hammer, why didn’t he blame the destruction of his stupid pool liner on Jewish Space Lasers? That would have made much more sense.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Thought For The Day – Cha Ching

It’s Oil Fucked Up

August 2, 2026

Death-To-America Don started a war, which more than anything else has given Iran more clout and is decimating our military.* Oh, and is massively disrupting the global oil supply thanks to Trump handing them the keys to the Strait of Hormuz.

And what happens next?

Just so we’re clear on this, Deathbed Donny starts a war for no good reason and the gluttonous, blood-sucking oil companies, who could easily afford to take a temporary pay cut while helping every American who needs gasoline by not gouging the innocent, victims of Trump’s Iran fiasco, instead end up making record profits. As a wise man once said, “You go with your strengths.”

Deer-In-The-Headlights Don oversees massive thievery…again

All this while President Nero spends all our fucking money ruining the nation’s capital and all its long-revered landmarks, in order to leave his mark everywhere. You know, like the way any other wild animal marks its territory.

Stay tuned as Iran begins launching cyberattacks on America’s infrastructure. Their success is all but guaranteed thanks to our Manchurian president dismantling our cyber defense systems.

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*Is there even anything else for this tumor of a man to fuck up? Besides the midterm elections I mean.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Fun Fact For The Day – Dear Diary, Uh

Fauci Ouchie

August 1, 2026

Somehow, Anthony Fauci’s personal diary ended up on a government server. It came to the attention of heroin addict and brainworm host RFingK, Jr. Next, idiot soon-to-be-senior-senator from Kentucky, home to the recently nearly-and-possibly-actually-dead-and-currently-missing Mitch McConnell, Ayn Rand Paul decided to release Fauci’s diary because naturally, these troglodytes want to blame Fauci for all the deaths caused by the guy who suggested shining a powerful light into the body and ingesting disinfectant to eliminate the deadly coronavirus and who just happened to be acting as president at the time.

The dumb-as-a-rock ophthalmologist Paul decided to put on another completely unhinged Benghazi-esque, circus that featured Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party senators pretending to lose their shit and screaming at the 85-year-old Fauci with world-class hypocrisy and shoddily manufactured umbrage.

Fauci was not happy having to spend his day answering to a
bunch of senators whose collective IQs amounted to half of his

Here’s the fun fact: Fauci wrote the following in his diary, “[Obama] went on to say that Donald Trump was a hopeless idiot who was a pathological liar.” The former president also told Fauci that Trump Jr. is “a fucking moron”.

Was that not in fact fun?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.

Thought For The Day – Warts In A Number

Donny Gets A Poll Up The Ass

July 31, 2026

Conventional wisdom holds that there has been a consistent thirty-three percent of Americans who are hardcore far right for many decades. While this might be depressing to have to accept, it does seem to be a reasonable assessment. That is the floor, but clearly not the ceiling, as evidenced by the recent rise in sympathy for fascism in this country, which thus far has culminated in the election of an unrepentant authoritarian narcissist, who believes he should be ruler for life, and had a forty-plus percent approval for far too long.

Since the election of the syphilitic creature Trump, it was my feeling that we might begin to have some hope of recovery with him having no more than a twenty-five percent approval rating. If only 25% of this country approved of the 34-count-convicted felon, sexual abuser and pedophile protecting dementia patient as president, the maybe, just maybe I might be able to breathe and keep food down. In recent months that figure has been downgraded to thirty percent. If Trump’s approval rating reached that level, perhaps that is a sign we can begin to turn things around. It should be difficult if not impossible to sustain control with more than two-thirds of the country thinking you suck.

Current polling on Deathbed Don’s approval;
he looks like we feel

Well, given Dementia Don’s continuing mental decline and his growing distain for the general public and democracy and his absolute inability to change direction in any way, he seems hell-bent on making this happen.

More current polling…getting closer to barely acceptable

Low and steady

Meanwhile, Death-To-America Don is destroying everything, including himself. The former, faster than could have been imagined. The latter, just not fast enough.

Keep up the good work, sir. Can I call you sir? With a bit more work, sir, you could lower these numbers by five-hundred or forty-thousand or even eleventy-billion percent.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Schmuck Of The Day – Nowhere, Man

Dead Man Not Walking

July 29, 2026

Evil fascist Mitch McConnell has been functionally dead for the better part of a year. More than six weeks ago he purchased a one-way ticket to the Pearly Gates, but was dragged from the threshold of death’s door by well-meaning but misguided paramedics. Since that day there has been no sign, no proof of life or death, not a single public peep out of the one person who has possibly done more to destroy democracy, not to mention millions of American lives than Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump.

How is it ethical and/or legal for a public servant, no matter how horribly he has acted toward most Americans, to simply disappear without a word, or a death certificate? Obviously, Moscow Mitch has never been accused of being ethical, but doesn’t legal still matter if you’re not Trump?

How can anyone accept that a senate leader who has spent much of his loathsome career opposing mandatory paid sick leave and family leave mandates for American workers, and then gets carted away by ambulance, simply fucks off, figuratively (as far as we know) giving this country the middle finger, while being either very sick or significantly dead and still getting paid?

Naturally, almost every member of the Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party has either remained mum, knows nothing, or has lied about talking to the invisible McConnell. All these assholes ever do, besides steal from the poor to give to the rich via repeated tax cuts, is enable their non compos mentis psychopath, protect pedophiles and continue their quest to end American democracy.

To be fair to Dear Leader, doctors and lawyers rarely speak ill of their colleagues. It seems the same holds true for pedophiles.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Schmuck on!

Thought For The Day – Trump! What Is He Good For?

Absolutely Nothing

July 27, 2026

As the not-a-war with Iran takes another pause after more than two weeks of bombing by both sides, Donald “Death-To-America” Trump continues to commit war crimes and make the world’s chief sponsor of terrorism look like both victim and victor while making America look weak and stupid. Because Trump is weak and stupid. And clinically insane.

Trump is escalating his failing not-a-war with further threats to bomb infrastructure. Such threats comprise war crimes. Let alone carrying them out. Iran and everyone else in the world know he is bluffing. And clinically insane.

So how, you might ask, can one commit war crimes if one is not at war. Go ahead and ask, but do so quietly because these days freedom’s just another word for getting arrested for treason.

For his part, the Secretary of Hair Products Pete Hegseth insists that Iran’s ability to wage war was obliterated. Presumably, Hegseth also believes that the killed American servicemen and women are still alive.

Fun fact: The death toll in the Iran thingie went from fourteen to eighteen back to fourteen (because, according to the administration four were killed during a “ceasefire”) then back to the previous eighteen.

For the record, whether it is a war or a not-a-war, more than two-thirds of the American public are opposed to the thing Dingus Con keeps calling a “skirmish”. Loss of life on the skirmish-field continues to mount on both sides. Because Trump had no plan to wage his not-a-war and has no plan to end it. Because he knows he is losing. And clinically insane.

It’s not a war unless I say it’s a war,
which I have said on occasion,
but not anymore.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Fraught For The Day – It’s The Trump, Stupid

Fascist Fuckery Foils Freedom

July 26, 2026

It’s beginning to look like keeping the

Donald trump memorial EPSTEIN FILES

hidden from the American public is not the only reason Dingus Con started a war with Iran when he did.

Trump has fired a third of the workers at the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA). I guess he figured they didn’t need that second “Security”. Probably because Trump believes our elections are already super secure. Even though he relentlessly whines that our elections are totally rigged any time he loses. So, we only need the second “Security” after it’s too late and he has already lost?

Trump is pulling out all the stops to hold back the massive blue tsunami everyone can see off in the distance. If he really wanted to win back public sentiment, maybe he should stop fucking up everything in sight beyond recognition. But no, Deathbed Donny is not into winning; he is into cheating. Cheating by scaring away voters of color with threats of ICE kidnappings and military presence at polling places. By planning to confiscate ballots and voting machines in order to do what he continually accuses his opponents of doing – flipping votes, invalidating votes, etc. – which his opponents have never done, but which he and his minions have repeatedly attempted in the past. Among other things. 

Add to that Timothy Snyder, author of numerous titles including On Freedom and On Tyranny, and respected historian who specializes in the history of Central and Eastern Europe, the Soviet Union, and the Holocaust, with a wrinkle I hadn’t quite thought of. 

Snyder is warning that Trump could very well fake a terror attack in order to take “emergency” control of or halt the coming midterm elections, which credibly threaten to instantly wipe out Trump’s stranglehold on this country and put him in jeopardy of endless, righteous, impeachment-ready congressional hearings. And very possibly that long-overdue massive heart attack. Not that anyone wants that.

We can likely expect Trump’s illegal, unprovoked, baseless, ill-advised, strategy-free-with-no-plan-for-victory Iran war/fiasco* to be purposely dragged out in service to Death-To-America Don’s plan to hijack the midterms.

Though this would be Donny’s most heinous attack on this nation – and this is the same guy who incited a coup attempt after losing the freest and fairest election ever – in some sense it is just one more in an almost infinite and still growing number of attempts to kill America.

All you need to know about Trump’s intentions

This uniquely violent and stupid administration being populated (or should I say poopulated) by the most ignorant, violent and ignorant scumbags in American history, is poised to obliterate not Iran’s, but this nation’s military capabilities by demoralizing our troops and bleeding our supply of weaponry dry and leaving us vulnerable to all manner of threats from, oh I don’t know, Greenland, Canada, the European Union, Russia, China, SpaceX oh yeah, or Iran.

Side note: I am a pacifist…okay, fine, a coward. But a pacifist nonetheless. However, contrary to much evidence, I am not an idiot. Given the continuing violent nature and unbridled stupidity of the human race as a whole, this nation needs a strong, well-prepared military if only for the common defense. If only.

Oh, and the Pentagon is about to go broke – not woke as secretary of defense and Brylcreem addict Pete “Low-T” Hegseth would have us believe, but broke – having blown through the $884 billion it was handed just last year. Of course, Trump hijacked a bundh of that money for his vanity projects, and one assumes, his pockets. Bleat Hegseth is begging Congress for another $1.5 TRILLION to throw away for nothing other than bringing the American Experiment to a crashing halt.

Meanwhile, Mr. Testosterone Hegseth, who I’m guessing hasn’t been able to get it up for quite some time (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and is desperately overcompensating and under-thinking, is busy worrying about testosterone levels while most of us are more concerned about IQ levels.

Just sayin’.

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*It took the Vietnam War six years to become as wildly unpopular as Trump’s Iran War has become after four months.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.                

                                                                              

Thought For The Day – Another Cracker Graham

He’s Dead, She Said

July 23, 2026

The Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party has appointed Darline Graham to fill the empty senate seat of her recently deceased, morally empty brother Lindsey.

Word on the street is that Darline is twice the man Lindsey was.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.