Spoiler Alert: It’s Donald J. Trump – the ‘J’
stands for January 6, 2021
Everything is under control
Trump has a history of debating with himself. When
asked who he goes to for advice, he answers sincerely, himself. More recently,
he decided to take himself to court, then decided to settle with himself,
foregoing the $10 billion he originally wanted and settling on his now infamous
$1.8 billion (he called it $1.176 billion because he pretends to be a patriot, but
is without a doubt, as an ex-supporter called him, “a worthless piece of shit”)
slush fund that he fully intended to keep for…say it with me – himself.
Trump has also of late been caterwauling about
countless bouts of negotiating with Iran to end his unprovoked, ill-advised, ill-conceived,
poorly executed, back-firing and illegal war. It turns out he has been
negotiating with none other than himself.
Speaking of trump speaking of himself, that’s all
he ever does, except when he’s falling asleep watching his ass-kissers speaking
about him at their fake “cabinet meetings”.
After just about every single loser act that was
slated to play Trump’s bullshit 16-day “Great American State Fair” backed out
(mostly when they heard it was for Trump), Dictator Don posted this
He’ll surely put on a bang-up schmo
Yeah, who the hell wants to see a bunch of
has-been-remake shit bands when they watch a real live shit talk about himself
for 16 days.
Well, at least Vanilla Ice hasn’t backed out. So,
there’s that. So, there’s that. If you’re like most people,
you’d rather watch Elvis…in his current state. Or, barring that, paint drying.
Apologies to anyone who feels our choice for
Schmuck Of The Day was too predictable since Trump is a world-class schmuck each
and every day. And twice on Sundays…and Saturdays…and every other day actually.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Schmuck
on!
“…To
those who engaged in the acts of violence and destruction, you do not represent
our country. And to those who broke the law, you will pay.” Words read
aloud by Donald Trump, January 7, 2021
You’ll
never guess what ended up happening. And by that I mean you’ll never have to
guess because you already know what happened. Not only did Captain Conjob
pardon each and every one the violent law breakers – some of whom turned out to
be mother stabbers, father stabbers, mother rapers, father rapers and worse –
he is now trying, and apparently failing badly, to pay them.
The
updated version…
“…To
those who engaged in the acts of violence and destruction, thank you for
representing our country. To you and those who broke the law, you will be
paid.” Words thought
by Donald Trump, every day since January 6, 2021
Or Can We?
As of now, the courts seem
skeptical of every single aspect of Trump’s Seditionist Slush Fund* gambit. A hold
has been put on the entire con, from the phonycharges to the fakecourt case to the farcical verdict handing Trump $1.8 billion of our dollars to turn into slush.
More winning for America: A judge gave Donny Ego two weeks – how ironic –
to remove his soon-to-be-outlawed name from the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center
For The Performing Arts. Permanently.
Get that shit outta here:
Step one of the total and complete erasure of Donald Trump.
We’ll show these fuckers how to erase history.
The judge also blocked Der Furor's attempt to close the center for a year
of Donny’s raunchy renovations.
__________________________________________ *Needless to say, most if not all of this booty
was always going right into Trump’s pockets.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
We are not just about
incisive, hard-hitting, relentless coverage of freakish current events here at
Paying Attention™. We are as fun-loving as anyone…well, we sure would like to
be. Despite our masochistic dedication to keeping up with all the news that’s
shit to print, we have also tried to bring you high quality entertainment over
the years.
It all began with our
non-selling classic Son of A Bunch – the semi-fictitious biography of George
WTF Bush, the man who was supposed to be the worst president in the history of
the United States. Unfortunately, that title was all-too-quickly usurped by a
joke-candidate, who went on to become a not-so-funny-joke-president, who continues
his quest to end democracy in America, despite plagiarizing Ronald Reagan’s
Make-America-Great-Again slogan and Orwellianizing it beyond anyone’s most
horrifying fascist nightmares.
This was followed by lighter
output like I. Mangrey’s children’s books Goodnight Goon:
We also dabbled in documentaries
like the immensely unpopular (though not nearly as unpopular as its subjects)
documentaries Whites Gone Wild, detailing anti-Semitic/racist white folks
marching through the streets of Charlottesville, Virginia in support of Robert
E. Lee with torches, and chanting “Jews will not replace us!” in the year of
their Lord Twenty-Fucking-Seventeen – and with the explicit support of the
president of the United States. This was followed by Girls Gone Stupid,
which recounts the epileptic exploits of two dimwitted damsels who thanks to
the spoils of gerrymandering became members of Congress, behaving like
unsupervised mental patients on meth raised by brain-damaged monkeys, at the
State of The Union address.
That Was Then, This Is Now…Or Something
Like It
Our latest offering plagiarizes a cult classic
movie franchise that takes place in a dystopian future (not to be confused with
our dystopian present…or is it) – Mad Max.
The Wikipedia entry on the third Mad Max
film begins with: “So the nation’s top law enforcement official is asking for a
slush fund to pay people who assault cops? Utterly stupid, morally wrong – Take
your pick.” Oops, wrong quote; that was Sen. Mitch McConnell, who has done as
much to shepherd this country into our dystopian present as anyone in modern
times, talking about Trump’s personal attorney and alleged current acting
attorney general of the United States Todd Blanche handing over nearly two
billion of our dollars to Trump for his nefarious purposes. Here’s the actual Wikipedia
quote*: “The world is a
post-apocalyptic wasteland caused by ecocide and a nuclear war over resources.”
What, too soon?
Unfortunately, our beloved reality TV project remains on hold, but you might make your day a little brighter just imagining all the fun you hope to have watching the soon-to-be record-breaking, Emmy-wanting, must-see
Anyway, here is the latest, tonight's feature film inspired by this
incredibly idiotic pronouncement
What a dum fuk
Dum Don: Beyond
Thunderdumb
At long last, are you not entertained?
___________________________________________ *Which could be ripped from the headlines any day now.
UPDATE
As is so often the case, 1) the moment a blog post
is ready to go public, more likely just after it goes live, something extremely
pertinent and often more mind-blowing than what was written is perpetrated by
the story’s subject, and 2) it is becoming less and less possible to come up
with anything more absurd than what these fuckwits are able to do.
All that being said, here’s what showed up in
big-time media as this was going to press…
A real-life fucking Thunderdumb…or if you prefer,
Blunderdome
Trump’s birthday grift to himself, a violent Ultimate Fighting
Championship bout on the Remains of The White House property, compete with
giant dumb…I mean dome.
This is America’s 250th birthday on
Trump. Any questions?
Trump is pushing for a new, and completely useless $250 bill in order to put
his face on it, which despite being exactly on-the-nose is totally illegal.
Trump’s buffoonish, birdbrain billionaire little bitch treasury
secretary Scott Bessent shows off the administration’s next proposed
crime – paper money with the face of America’s most despised president of all
time glaring out at anyone who might get near it.
Funny thing, it is totally against the law to put the likeness (or
the dislikeness if you prefer) of anyone living on American currency. Despite being mostly gone, Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump is
still technically alive.
Don, you wouldn’t want to break the law again, would you? I know,
stupid question, but they’re not going to let you get away with this one.
So Don, you have a decision to make. There will have to be a
trade-off if you want your disgusting, stupid face on our fucking money.
Talking
Out Of Her Stupid Mouth, Talking Out Of Her…Wherever
May 27, 2026
“You can see there was blood coming out of her
eyes, blood coming out her…wherever.” Candidate Trump, August
7, 2016 (in response to
being asked a question by Megyn Kelly) (during
a presidential debate)
Megyn
Kelly, who was among the first to get slimed by Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump
during the 2016 presidential campaign only to turn around and constantly shove
her own head up is ass, had this to say yesterday:
Megyn Kelly, in all her gory
“I
didn’t expect the corruption to be quite as, you know, widespread as it’s been,
and like the self-dealing and the lining of his and his family’s pockets…” Bloody Megyn Kelly, May 26, 2026
Today’s Question For The Day:
Tell me Megyn, exactly how widespread did you
expect the corruption and self-dealing and lining of his and his family’s
pockets to be?
And riddle me this Ms. Kelly, exactly how
much corruption and self-dealing and lining of his and his family’s pockets do
you find acceptable?
Hmmmm?
Double Bonus Question:
Megyn, are you too fucking stupid to notice
that Donald’s entire life has been dedicated to corruption and self-dealing and
lining of his and his family’s pockets, or are you just as corrupt and
self-dealing as he is?
Answer For The Day:
Oh shut up silly woman!
You make our poor heads spin; you knew damn well he was a snake before
you voted him in.
President Godlesszilla continues his swath of
destruction of the nation’s capital. Demolishing everything in his path. East
Wing – smashed. Oval Office décor – trashed. Reflecting LakePond
Pool – gashed. Economy –crashed. Intelligence – Kashed. Teeth – gnashed.
Not only is this monster doing horrendous
physical damage, get a load of this: The Lizard King Brain said it would
take “$2 million” to repair the pool. Biden wanted to make the long-needed
repairs, but did not want to spend the money given the economic state of
affairs during his presidency.
Now that we’re torching money on an illegal,
disastrous war-for-no-reason in Iran and the economy teetering on the brink of
recession, Der Furor is now telling us that this pool emergency is poised to
clock in at $20 FUCKING MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS.
Today’s Question For The Day:
Exactly how much do we figure Donny is
skimming off the top?
Which Reminds Me…
An even bigger, more blatant and more illegal
grift* remains afoot now that the Senate majority leader commanded his flock to
abandon ship for the holiday rather than vote on ending this artless steal. I’m
referring to the nearly $2 billion earmarked for the criminally insane and just
plain criminal supporters of Trump who claim to have been victimized by having
to face justice. It’s not enough that these slime were pardoned by the
criminal-in-chief, now they want a paycheck for violating this country.
According to the “agreement”
payments will be reported quarterly to the “Justice Department”. All records are
to remain confidential, and the fund’s board – hand-picked by Trump’s flunkies –
will be the ones to decide whether to disclose their processes for granting or
denying claims. Or presumably, who (i.e., Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump) gets
the money.
The agreement also stipulates this lovely
piece of filth over here…
The gist: Trump’s past, present and future
tax crimes cannot be so much as looked at by the IRS in perpetuity. Same goes
for his family and all associated “businesses”.
Does anyone think any criminals other than
Donny Dearest will ever see a penny of this booty? Remember when he said he
would cover the legal expenses any of his idiots would incur for beating up
anti-Trumpers?
Spoiler alert: He didn’t.
Trump is a man of no one’s word.
Thank you for your attention to this monster.
It ain’t easy.
________________________________________________ *We learned from Watergate
that the coverup is often worse than the crime. Not with these fuckers. Trump,
et al are not bothering with any coverup. They just crime with impunity. Their motto:
Nothing to cover up here. Go fuck yourselves.
The
Man of Dementia (take that Cervantes) insists that his brilliant handling of
everything, everywhere, all at once has America living in a “Golden Age” when
in fact what we are living in is a giant, endless Golden Shower.
Trump’s
Golden Age is strictly the province of his super-rich cronies. The only gold
they will share with us is in the form of the aforementioned showers. To be
fair, this has always been the truth about so-called “trickle-down economics”.
As
the saying goes, “It is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.” Most of
America today is both.
An Apology
Oops.
We almost forgot to mention the
Donald trump memorial EPSTEIN FILES
It
won’t happen again. When to the Epstein/Trump victims get their billions? And some
justice.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
Don’t even get me stopped.
Anyhoo,
we’re all big Todd Rundgren fans, from Nazz to Utopia to his many “solo”
efforts.
This
one from Todd’s 2021 Space Force popped up on YouTube…
Todd Rundgren &
Rivers Cuomo – Down with the Ship
Which
led us to one we’d forgotten from 2017's White Knight…
Todd Rundgren – Tin Foil
Hat (feat. Donald Fagen)
This, in turn reminded us of another from the Space Force effort. Sure, Margie has left the building, but let's not forget who and how she was before she finally woke the fuck up and smelled the covfefe.
STFU by Todd Rundgren featuring Rick Nielsen
Just
in case you need a little more, here’s an old favorite from 1969’s Nazz Nazz
album. This one goes out to Greenland – forever may you stay out of the tiny
decomposing clutches of Donald Fucking Trump.
Nazz – Under The Ice
I.
Mangrey, spinning.
So long Stephen, and
thanks for all the fucks (and yuks). And Fuck you, CBS.
