This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Guess Who

It’s Only (Our) Money

May 30, 2026

A day after inciting, enabling and admiring his mob of mental patients to wage an insurrection designed to thwart the will of the American electorate, Trump was forced to speak out against the vile and violent event.

“…To those who engaged in the acts of violence and destruction, you do not represent our country. And to those who broke the law, you will pay.”
                        Words read aloud by Donald Trump, January 7, 2021

You’ll never guess what ended up happening. And by that I mean you’ll never have to guess because you already know what happened. Not only did Captain Conjob pardon each and every one the violent law breakers – some of whom turned out to be mother stabbers, father stabbers, mother rapers, father rapers and worse – he is now trying, and apparently failing badly, to pay them.

The updated version…

“…To those who engaged in the acts of violence and destruction, thank you for representing our country. To you and those who broke the law, you will be paid.”
                Words thought by Donald Trump, every day since January 6, 2021

Or Can We?

As of now, the courts seem skeptical of every single aspect of Trump’s Seditionist Slush Fund* gambit. A hold has been put on the entire con, from the phony charges to the fake court case to the farcical verdict handing Trump $1.8 billion of our dollars to turn into slush.

More winning for America: A judge gave Donny Ego two weeks – how ironic – to remove his soon-to-be-outlawed name from the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center For The Performing Arts. Permanently. 

Get that shit outta here:
Step one of the total and complete erasure of Donald Trump.
We’ll show these fuckers how to erase history.

The judge also blocked Der Furor's attempt to close the center for a year of Donny’s raunchy renovations.

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*Needless to say, most if not all of this booty was always going right into Trump’s pockets.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Movie Night at Paying Attention™

May 29, 2026

We are not just about incisive, hard-hitting, relentless coverage of freakish current events here at Paying Attention™. We are as fun-loving as anyone…well, we sure would like to be. Despite our masochistic dedication to keeping up with all the news that’s shit to print, we have also tried to bring you high quality entertainment over the years.

It all began with our non-selling classic Son of A Bunch – the semi-fictitious biography of George WTF Bush, the man who was supposed to be the worst president in the history of the United States. Unfortunately, that title was all-too-quickly usurped by a joke-candidate, who went on to become a not-so-funny-joke-president, who continues his quest to end democracy in America, despite plagiarizing Ronald Reagan’s Make-America-Great-Again slogan and Orwellianizing it beyond anyone’s most horrifying fascist nightmares.

This was followed by lighter output like I. Mangrey’s children’s books Goodnight Goon:

and Donald and The Very, Very Large Uh-Brain:

We have also brought you undiscovered gems like Orange Dregs and Scam by Dr. Sues:

We also dabbled in documentaries like the immensely unpopular (though not nearly as unpopular as its subjects) documentaries Whites Gone Wild, detailing anti-Semitic/racist white folks marching through the streets of Charlottesville, Virginia in support of Robert E. Lee with torches, and chanting “Jews will not replace us!” in the year of their Lord Twenty-Fucking-Seventeen – and with the explicit support of the president of the United States. This was followed by Girls Gone Stupid, which recounts the epileptic exploits of two dimwitted damsels who thanks to the spoils of gerrymandering became members of Congress, behaving like unsupervised mental patients on meth raised by brain-damaged monkeys, at the State of The Union address.

That Was Then, This Is Now…Or Something Like It

Our latest offering plagiarizes a cult classic movie franchise  that takes place in a dystopian future (not to be confused with our dystopian present…or is it) – Mad Max.

The Wikipedia entry on the third Mad Max film begins with: “So the nation’s top law enforcement official is asking for a slush fund to pay people who assault cops? Utterly stupid, morally wrong – Take your pick.” Oops, wrong quote; that was Sen. Mitch McConnell, who has done as much to shepherd this country into our dystopian present as anyone in modern times, talking about Trump’s personal attorney and alleged current acting attorney general of the United States Todd Blanche handing over nearly two billion of our dollars to Trump for his nefarious purposes. Here’s the actual Wikipedia quote*: “The world is a post-apocalyptic wasteland caused by ecocide and a nuclear war over resources.” What, too soon?

Unfortunately, our beloved reality TV project remains on hold, but you might make your day a little brighter just imagining all the fun you hope to have watching the soon-to-be record-breaking, Emmy-wanting, must-see

Anyway, here is the latest, tonight's feature film inspired by this incredibly idiotic pronouncement

What a dum fuk

Dum Don: Beyond Thunderdumb

At long last, are you not entertained?

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*Which could be ripped from the headlines any day now.

UPDATE

As is so often the case, 1) the moment a blog post is ready to go public, more likely just after it goes live, something extremely pertinent and often more mind-blowing than what was written is perpetrated by the story’s subject, and 2) it is becoming less and less possible to come up with anything more absurd than what these fuckwits are able to do.

All that being said, here’s what showed up in big-time media as this was going to press…

A real-life fucking Thunderdumb…or if you prefer, Blunderdome

Trump’s birthday grift to himself, a violent Ultimate Fighting Championship bout
on the Remains of The White House property, compete with giant dumb…I mean dome.

This is America’s 250^th birthday on Trump. Any questions?

On The Money

In This Case, Do Not Show Me The Money

May 29, 2026

Trump is pushing for a new, and completely useless $250 bill in order to put his face on it, which despite being exactly on-the-nose is totally illegal.

Trump’s buffoonish, birdbrain billionaire little bitch treasury secretary Scott Bessent shows off the administration’s next proposed crime – paper money with the face of America’s most despised president of all time glaring out at anyone who might get near it.

Funny thing, it is totally against the law to put the likeness (or the dislikeness if you prefer) of anyone living on American currency. Despite being mostly gone, Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump is still technically alive.

Don, you wouldn’t want to break the law again, would you? I know, stupid question, but they’re not going to let you get away with this one.

So Don, you have a decision to make. There will have to be a trade-off if you want your disgusting, stupid face on our fucking money.

So, what’s it gonna be?

I. Mangrey reporting.

Question For The Day – Kelly Groan

Talking Out Of Her Stupid Mouth, Talking Out Of Her…Wherever

May 27, 2026

“You can see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out her…wherever.”
                         Candidate Trump, August 7, 2016
          (in response to being asked a question by Megyn Kelly)
                            (during a presidential debate)

Megyn Kelly, who was among the first to get slimed by Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump during the 2016 presidential campaign only to turn around and constantly shove her own head up is ass, had this to say yesterday:

Megyn Kelly, in all her gory

“I didn’t expect the corruption to be quite as, you know, widespread as it’s been, and like the self-dealing and the lining of his and his family’s pockets…”
                            Bloody Megyn Kelly, May 26, 2026

Today’s Question For The Day:

Tell me Megyn, exactly how widespread did you expect the corruption and self-dealing and lining of his and his family’s pockets to be?

Bonus Question:

And riddle me this Ms. Kelly, exactly how much corruption and self-dealing and lining of his and his family’s pockets do you find acceptable?

Hmmmm?

Double Bonus Question:

Megyn, are you too fucking stupid to notice that Donald’s entire life has been dedicated to corruption and self-dealing and lining of his and his family’s pockets, or are you just as corrupt and self-dealing as he is?

Answer For The Day:

Oh shut up silly woman! You make our poor heads spin; you knew damn well he was a snake before you voted him in.

Oscar Brown, Jr. – The Snake

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Pic Of The Day – A Metaphor For The Upcoming Midterms

Dreaming Is Healthy  

May 26, 2026

Apropos of nothing and everything. This little ditty appeared on the internets soon after El Destructo slithered onto the political scene. It still brings a smile to the face every time. We often leave it up on the big screen at team meetings and lunches.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.

Question For The Day – Steal Plating

The Art Of The Endless Steal

May 25, 2026

President Godlesszilla continues his swath of destruction of the nation’s capital. Demolishing everything in his path. East Wing – smashed. Oval Office décor – trashed. Reflecting Lake Pond Pool – gashed. Economy –crashed. Intelligence – Kashed. Teeth – gnashed.

Not only is this monster doing horrendous physical damage, get a load of this: The Lizard King Brain said it would take “$2 million” to repair the pool. Biden wanted to make the long-needed repairs, but did not want to spend the money given the economic state of affairs during his presidency.

Now that we’re torching money on an illegal, disastrous war-for-no-reason in Iran and the economy teetering on the brink of recession, Der Furor is now telling us that this pool emergency is poised to clock in at $20 FUCKING MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS.

Today’s Question For The Day:

Exactly how much do we figure Donny is skimming off the top?

Which Reminds Me…

An even bigger, more blatant and more illegal grift* remains afoot now that the Senate majority leader commanded his flock to abandon ship for the holiday rather than vote on ending this artless steal. I’m referring to the nearly $2 billion earmarked for the criminally insane and just plain criminal supporters of Trump who claim to have been victimized by having to face justice. It’s not enough that these slime were pardoned by the criminal-in-chief, now they want a paycheck for violating this country.

According to the “agreement” payments will be reported quarterly to the “Justice Department”. All records are to remain confidential, and the fund’s board – hand-picked by Trump’s flunkies – will be the ones to decide whether to disclose their processes for granting or denying claims. Or presumably, who (i.e., Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump) gets the money.

The agreement also stipulates this lovely piece of filth over here…

 

The gist: Trump’s past, present and future tax crimes cannot be so much as looked at by the IRS in perpetuity. Same goes for his family and all associated “businesses”.

Bonus Question:

Does anyone think any criminals other than Donny Dearest will ever see a penny of this booty? Remember when he said he would cover the legal expenses any of his idiots would incur for beating up anti-Trumpers?

Spoiler alert: He didn’t.

Trump is a man of no one’s word.

Thank you for your attention to this monster. It ain’t easy.

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*We learned from Watergate that the coverup is often worse than the crime. Not with these fuckers. Trump, et al are not bothering with any coverup. They just crime with impunity. Their motto: Nothing to cover up here. Go fuck yourselves.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Thought For The Day – Goof For The Gold

Paying Attention™ Putz Prize

Goldtinyfinger

May 23, 2026

The Man of Dementia (take that Cervantes) insists that his brilliant handling of everything, everywhere, all at once has America living in a “Golden Age” when in fact what we are living in is a giant, endless Golden Shower.

Trump’s Golden Age is strictly the province of his super-rich cronies. The only gold they will share with us is in the form of the aforementioned showers. To be fair, this has always been the truth about so-called “trickle-down economics”.

As the saying goes, “It is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.” Most of America today is both.

An Apology

Oops. We almost forgot to mention the

Donald trump memorial EPSTEIN FILES

It won’t happen again. When to the Epstein/Trump victims get their billions? And some justice.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
Don’t even get me stopped.

Radio WTAF Request Line - Todd Time

May 22, 2026

Your regular host Ariel B is still sleeping off the effects of losing another anchor on our little boat being tossed around in Donald Jeffrey Epstein’s Sea of Shit. I thought we could use a little distraction. Everyone here at the non-existent, secret, undisclosed location is sad to see Stephen Colbert yanked out from under us by Captain A-scab.

Anyhoo, we’re all big Todd Rundgren fans, from Nazz to Utopia to his many “solo” efforts.

This one from Todd’s 2021 Space Force popped up on YouTube…

Todd Rundgren & Rivers Cuomo – Down with the Ship

Which led us to one we’d forgotten from 2017's White Knight…

Todd Rundgren – Tin Foil Hat (feat. Donald Fagen)

This, in turn reminded us of another from the Space Force effort. Sure, Margie has left the building, but let's not forget who and how she was before she finally woke the fuck up and smelled the covfefe.

STFU by Todd Rundgren featuring Rick Nielsen

Just in case you need a little more, here’s an old favorite from 1969’s Nazz Nazz album. This one goes out to Greenland – forever may you stay out of the tiny decomposing clutches of Donald Fucking Trump.

Nazz – Under The Ice

I. Mangrey, spinning.

So long Stephen, and thanks for all the fucks (and yuks). And Fuck you, CBS.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

A Plant For All Seasons

May 20, 2026

Here’s a little something to take your mind off the sheer stupidity, death and destruction of the Trump era. After all, he is but a symptom of a much deeper, dumber and deadlier problem that is much older and likely to only worsen. I do not know its name, but I know it when I see it, and it is as pervasive as the air we breathe and continue to disrespect.

Sure, Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump just stole nearly two million dollars of our money to pay off his malignant militia of traitorous criminals, while he continues his literal destruction of the Remains of The White House and our economy, and continues to worsen his defeat in his illegal, disastrous war in Iran, and continues his perpetual crime spree. Sure Trump is attempting to make it illegal for the IRS to ever investigate or hold him or his criminal spawn responsible for tax crimes (like the ones he was already convicted of in New York) that they are absolutely committing and have been for decades, and will continue to do. And yes, everyone knows that he and his black-robed hench-mutants are hard at work destroying free and fair elections in America. 

None of this holds a candle in the long run to the wanton destruction of the environment that even MAGA morons depend on to continue wasting oxygen better spent on sentient beings.

Hemp is likely the most versatile, eco-friendly, important plant on the planet…especially for humans. Forget the fact that its twin cannabis provides countless people all across the planet many happy times…I already have. The applications of the non-psychoactive hemp plant are almost mind-bogglingly many. It makes the best paper and cloth and its medicinal uses are just now being identified. But wait, there's more.

Hemp, as it happens, grows like a weed, requires no toxic fertilizers or pesticides, and does not deplete the soil in which it grows. A very woke plant. And somehow, even the likes of Donald Fucking Trump signed a law that made growing industrial hemp legal for the first time in nearly a century.

We recently came across this video on Hempcrete – a hemp-based building material with almost unbelievable properties: fire-proof, mold-resistant, insect-resistant and its life-cycle has positive impacts on the environment.

The things hemp can replace – paper, cloth and building materials are all manufactured using massive amount of toxic substances that hurt all of us and our environment every day.

The ubiquitous use of hemp was murdered in its sleep by greedy corporate scum like William Randolph Hearst, the Dupont family and Andrew Mellon – the wealthiest man in America and the secretary of the Treasury, and by coincidence the chief banker for the Dupont empire.

The video is much less surprising than it is saddening.

Fireproof, Mold-Proof, Pest-Proof. Why America Made This Building Material Illegal?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.