Thought For The Day – No One Really Knows

I Need To Speak With The Manager

August 7, 2026

It just occurred to me: As you observe the current state of humankind and/or look back at so many actions of human beings, especially the actions carried out in the name of whatever supreme being the perpetrator called their own, if there is in fact a God, then it clearly does not matter.

Today’s thought, which happens to simultaneously be proof of its validity is brought to you by the good folks at the

Donald trump memorial EPSTEIN FILES*

Jeffrey Epstein was my best friend. Though I never met him
or raped any of the children he gave me.

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*They’re still out there somewhere. Never give up until we see them all.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Have you gotten all your Resignation Day(s) shopping done? Only one shopping day left.

Thought For The Day – Is Being Stupid A Choice?

Good vs…Wait, Don’t Tell Me

August 6, 2026

Many people, especially those who support Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump and his fellow fascists and (allegedly alleged) pedophiles, are saying that what we are dealing with in this country is a battle between good and evil. In general, those people are not really the sharpest bulbs in the pack.

Also, given that these folks are supporters of a man who was convicted of 34 felony counts, was found to have committed sexual assault (which a judge stated fit the commonly held definition of rape), paid off a porn star to keep quiet about a sexual relationship that occurred months after his youngest child was born, and stands accused of some two dozen credible rape or sexual assault allegations, not to mention his longtime close friendship with child rapist/sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and all the myriad financial crimes he continues to commit, their understanding of the terms good or evil do not hold up to even the slightest scrutiny.

I’m the only president ever to take a cognitive test. I can spell my name.

Much more than Good vs. Evil, what we are really dealing with in America today is a battle of Good vs. Stupid. Sure, some number of the Trumpian idiots are evil, just like their cult leader, but mostly they are just your garden variety low IQ, plain-spoken regular folks, salt-of-the-earth…you know, morons.

Today’s Thought For The Day was brought to you by the

Donald trump memorial EPSTEIN FILES

And you know what they always say: Smoke Destroy ‘em if you’ve got ‘em.

Bring the Epstein File Bookmobile to your community.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Have you gotten all your Resignation Day(s) shopping done? Only two shopping days left.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Leave It To Beavers

Are You As Smart As A Beaver?

August 5, 2026

Maybe we can have a few nice things. Can’t beat beavers...

Scotland Released 11 Beavers Into A Dying River:
What Happened Next Seemed Like A Miracle

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Thought For The Day – A Real Cut-up

Too Cruel For Pool

August 4, 2026

Deathbed Donny insisted that vandals – in particular a 67-year-old former Olympian David Hearn who was indicted by the Department of Justice-for-Trump – slashed a 295 or 300 or 350-foot gash in the brand-new, allegedly-indestructible algae-encouraging Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Puss Pool coating, badly applied and subsequently rumbled over by Donny’s caravan (because what president, or anyone else for that matter, wouldn’t want to drive a bunch of cars through the Reflecting Pool for no fucking reason).

If vandals could in fact be blamed, they were not radical left, boxcutter-wielding lunatics as some suggested. It certainly could have been a bunch of yahoos caught flagrantly driving a motorcade across the freshly painted and sealed landmark.

A caravan of cretins, lead by none other than Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump
drove across the newly renovated Reflecting Pool before it was refilled with
what would quickly become a massive algae bloom and total embarrassment

It turns out, as just about everyone knew, that the crappy contractors hired via illegal no-bid contract – originally touted as a one-to-two-million dollar job, which suddenly ballooned to sixteen million (no doubt replete with a massive kickback to Trump) – did a typical Trumpian shitty job, which almost immediately fell apart because of said shitty job.

Even Donny’s old pal and current U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia Jeanine Pirro had to admit it was not vandals and that all the evidence pointed to the fact that Trump’s shitty contractor did a shitty job and had to drop all charges against Hearn.

The main thing I can’t understand is, since Deadbeat Don assured everyone, on live television, that this amazing, very strong and powerful pool coating could not be cut by any blade with the possible exception of Excalibur or perhaps Anduril, or maybe bashed into submission with Thor’s Hammer, why didn’t he blame the destruction of his stupid pool liner on Jewish Space Lasers? That would have made much more sense.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Thought For The Day – Cha Ching

It’s Oil Fucked Up

August 2, 2026

Death-To-America Don started a war, which more than anything else has given Iran more clout and is decimating our military.* Oh, and is massively disrupting the global oil supply thanks to Trump handing them the keys to the Strait of Hormuz.

And what happens next?

Just so we’re clear on this, Deathbed Donny starts a war for no good reason and the gluttonous, blood-sucking oil companies, who could easily afford to take a temporary pay cut while helping every American who needs gasoline by not gouging the innocent, victims of Trump’s Iran fiasco, instead end up making record profits. As a wise man once said, “You go with your strengths.”

Deer-In-The-Headlights Don oversees massive thievery…again

All this while President Nero spends all our fucking money ruining the nation’s capital and all its long-revered landmarks, in order to leave his mark everywhere. You know, like the way any other wild animal marks its territory.

Stay tuned as Iran begins launching cyberattacks on America’s infrastructure. Their success is all but guaranteed thanks to our Manchurian president dismantling our cyber defense systems.

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*Is there even anything else for this tumor of a man to fuck up? Besides the midterm elections I mean.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Fun Fact For The Day – Dear Diary, Uh

Fauci Ouchie

August 1, 2026

Somehow, Anthony Fauci’s personal diary ended up on a government server. It came to the attention of heroin addict and brainworm host RFingK, Jr. Next, idiot soon-to-be-senior-senator from Kentucky, home to the recently nearly-and-possibly-actually-dead-and-currently-missing Mitch McConnell, Ayn Rand Paul decided to release Fauci’s diary because naturally, these troglodytes want to blame Fauci for all the deaths caused by the guy who suggested shining a powerful light into the body and ingesting disinfectant to eliminate the deadly coronavirus and who just happened to be acting as president at the time.

The dumb-as-a-rock ophthalmologist Paul decided to put on another completely unhinged Benghazi-esque, circus that featured Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party senators pretending to lose their shit and screaming at the 85-year-old Fauci with world-class hypocrisy and shoddily manufactured umbrage.

Fauci was not happy having to spend his day answering to a
bunch of senators whose collective IQs amounted to half of his

Here’s the fun fact: Fauci wrote the following in his diary, “[Obama] went on to say that Donald Trump was a hopeless idiot who was a pathological liar.” The former president also told Fauci that Trump Jr. is “a fucking moron”.

Was that not in fact fun?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.

Thought For The Day – Warts In A Number

Donny Gets A Poll Up The Ass

July 31, 2026

Conventional wisdom holds that there has been a consistent thirty-three percent of Americans who are hardcore far right for many decades. While this might be depressing to have to accept, it does seem to be a reasonable assessment. That is the floor, but clearly not the ceiling, as evidenced by the recent rise in sympathy for fascism in this country, which thus far has culminated in the election of an unrepentant authoritarian narcissist, who believes he should be ruler for life, and had a forty-plus percent approval for far too long.

Since the election of the syphilitic creature Trump, it was my feeling that we might begin to have some hope of recovery with him having no more than a twenty-five percent approval rating. If only 25% of this country approved of the 34-count-convicted felon, sexual abuser and pedophile protecting dementia patient as president, the maybe, just maybe I might be able to breathe and keep food down. In recent months that figure has been downgraded to thirty percent. If Trump’s approval rating reached that level, perhaps that is a sign we can begin to turn things around. It should be difficult if not impossible to sustain control with more than two-thirds of the country thinking you suck.

Current polling on Deathbed Don’s approval;
he looks like we feel

Well, given Dementia Don’s continuing mental decline and his growing distain for the general public and democracy and his absolute inability to change direction in any way, he seems hell-bent on making this happen.

More current polling…getting closer to barely acceptable

Low and steady

Meanwhile, Death-To-America Don is destroying everything, including himself. The former, faster than could have been imagined. The latter, just not fast enough.

Keep up the good work, sir. Can I call you sir? With a bit more work, sir, you could lower these numbers by five-hundred or forty-thousand or even eleventy-billion percent.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Schmuck Of The Day – Nowhere, Man

Dead Man Not Walking

July 29, 2026

Evil fascist Mitch McConnell has been functionally dead for the better part of a year. More than six weeks ago he purchased a one-way ticket to the Pearly Gates, but was dragged from the threshold of death’s door by well-meaning but misguided paramedics. Since that day there has been no sign, no proof of life or death, not a single public peep out of the one person who has possibly done more to destroy democracy, not to mention millions of American lives than Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump.

How is it ethical and/or legal for a public servant, no matter how horribly he has acted toward most Americans, to simply disappear without a word, or a death certificate? Obviously, Moscow Mitch has never been accused of being ethical, but doesn’t legal still matter if you’re not Trump?

How can anyone accept that a senate leader who has spent much of his loathsome career opposing mandatory paid sick leave and family leave mandates for American workers, and then gets carted away by ambulance, simply fucks off, figuratively (as far as we know) giving this country the middle finger, while being either very sick or significantly dead and still getting paid?

Naturally, almost every member of the Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party has either remained mum, knows nothing, or has lied about talking to the invisible McConnell. All these assholes ever do, besides steal from the poor to give to the rich via repeated tax cuts, is enable their non compos mentis psychopath, protect pedophiles and continue their quest to end American democracy.

To be fair to Dear Leader, doctors and lawyers rarely speak ill of their colleagues. It seems the same holds true for pedophiles.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Schmuck on!

Thought For The Day – Trump! What Is He Good For?

Absolutely Nothing

July 27, 2026

As the not-a-war with Iran takes another pause after more than two weeks of bombing by both sides, Donald “Death-To-America” Trump continues to commit war crimes and make the world’s chief sponsor of terrorism look like both victim and victor while making America look weak and stupid. Because Trump is weak and stupid. And clinically insane.

Trump is escalating his failing not-a-war with further threats to bomb infrastructure. Such threats comprise war crimes. Let alone carrying them out. Iran and everyone else in the world know he is bluffing. And clinically insane.

So how, you might ask, can one commit war crimes if one is not at war. Go ahead and ask, but do so quietly because these days freedom’s just another word for getting arrested for treason.

For his part, the Secretary of Hair Products Pete Hegseth insists that Iran’s ability to wage war was obliterated. Presumably, Hegseth also believes that the killed American servicemen and women are still alive.

Fun fact: The death toll in the Iran thingie went from fourteen to eighteen back to fourteen (because, according to the administration four were killed during a “ceasefire”) then back to the previous eighteen.

For the record, whether it is a war or a not-a-war, more than two-thirds of the American public are opposed to the thing Dingus Con keeps calling a “skirmish”. Loss of life on the skirmish-field continues to mount on both sides. Because Trump had no plan to wage his not-a-war and has no plan to end it. Because he knows he is losing. And clinically insane.

It’s not a war unless I say it’s a war,
which I have said on occasion,
but not anymore.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.