All I Want Is The Truth
March 16, 2026
Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT): “This is the most incompetent, incoherent war America has fought in the
last 100 years.”
I. Mangrey: “And that is saying something.”
Thank you, Senator Murphy.
And we didn’t even mention
the
Donald
Trump Memorial Epstein Files
This has been your Paying Attention™ Headline Of The Day.
The Ugly Schmuckling
March 15, 2026
Holy War Hegseth has a problem, well, several.
One is his alcohol-damaged brain. Another is his inability to separate alcohol
church and state. The biggest problem is his gaping mouth. It just won’t shut.
And the frothing feces it spews cannot be wiped away with any known solvents.
Hegseth has publicly dismissed concerns about
international law, claiming he would ignore “stupid rules of engagement” and
“politically correct wars”, spewing shit like “maximum lethality” and such. Even
the spectacularly vapid and idiotic Donald Rumsfeld who held Hague-seth’s
position during Bush/Cheney’s illegal, senseless and abysmal Iraq War was not
so arrogantly ignorant and pathologically violent as Hague-seth.
Actually, Pete’s mouth is causing him even bigger
problems by drooling literal war crimes. In a recent press tantrum, the
secretary of excursions had this to say
“We will keep pressing. We will keep pushing,
keep advancing. No quarter, no mercy for our enemies.”
Declaring “no quarter” is, all by itself, a war crime. Arrest that
schmuck!
Speaking of war crimes, Hague-seth’s first stop
on Trump’s Iran Excursion was to bomb a girl’s school to smithereens. Then
Trump blamed the Iranians. Even though all – and I do mean all – the evidence
pointed to a U.S. Tomahawk missile. While all this was going on, Trump was
urging Iranian protesters to rise up against their government. It seems more
likely now that the Iranian people will be rising up to denounce Trump and his
illegal, murderous campaign against Iran and the
Donald Trump Memorial Epstein Files
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Schmuck
on!
He
Forgot The Spurs
March 15, 2026
Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump was asked about his vacation
war in Iran:
Fux Noise idiot Brian Killmeade: “When are
you going to know when it’s over?”
Fux Noise idiot Brian Killmind on the phone with his main squeeze
In a patently insane and frightening
response, Trump Actually Fucking Said This™:
“When I feel it. When I feel it in my bones.”
Donald Fucking
Trump, March 13, 2026
At least we don’t have to wait until he feels it
in his brains.
Bonus Words From Paula Poundstone:
To Trump:
“You lick your finger and hold it up in the wind
to measure your IQ.”
_________________________________________
*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good
chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four
years. Sorry.
This has been another painful edition of Trump Actually
Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand
Whines
March 14, 2026
Wow, incompetent, arrogant, psychotic and afraid of cameras.
Oh, and a wannabe war criminal.*
If the
Secretary of Defenestration – Holy War Hegseth – wants more flattering
pictures, he needs to stay out of them. Maybe he needs to spend more time in the make-up studio he had built for him at the Pentagon. According to Google, no other Secretary of Excursions even considered needing a makeup studio inside the Pentagon.
Bonus Hegstench Headline
If Dry-drunk Pete thinks pictures are unflattering, he
should get a look at his expense account.
The above
headline is a bit misleading. It wasn’t in 2025 that Pete spent $93 billion, it
was in September of 2025. And the headline left out the fact that part
of that was $15 million in steaks and $7 million in lobster tails. That must
have been a serious all-you-can-eat. Oh, and a $98,000 grand piano for the
Air Force chief-of-staff’s home.
He might
be better off crawling back into his Fox hole.
We
certainly would.
_______________________________________________
*More on this later. Stay tuned.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Headline Of The Day.
March 14, 2026
Crap Cap Flap
Many people were upset because Don Trump showed up at the
Dignified Transfer – the return of the bodies of slain troops – that Trump
caused to die in his ill-begotten unprovoked war with Iran wearing a baseball
cap. Though Don was born in New York City, he is by all accounts trailer trash.
He has plenty of money – much more today than when he was sworn at…I mean in,
last January – but he is a tasteless, classless slob, whose always-limited
mental faculties are rapidly dissolving. In any event, we should not be getting
so upset by a classless idiot showing up to one of the most solemn duties any
president is expected to perform wearing a highly undignified, disrespectful
baseball cap. There are several reasons we should instead be thanking Der
Leader: 1) the cap completely covered up his pathetic, ridiculous excuse for
“hair”, 2) at least he was wearing pants, and 3) there were no reports of him
very loudly passing gas during the ceremony (though since the transfer was held
outdoors, the only one in danger would have been JD Vance whose lips are
invariably puckered onto Trump’s exhaust valve.
Disintegrating Don checking to
see if his diaper leaked
He Also Talks A Bad Game
While attempting to explain how all the myriad previous
explanations fit together to make one really big, beautiful explanation, Trump is
also trying to backtrack on calling his war a war by rebranding it an
“excursion”. And all but claiming mission accomplished. Even though he
previously described the worst-case scenario as one in which after all his
obliterating and killing Iran’s supreme leader and stuff, Iran turned around
and appointed a new supreme leader who is worse than the guy we killed and the
dozen or so other guys we thought could take over Iran for us, but ended up
killing on day one. Guess what happened next. Iran chose the son of the supreme
leader we just killed. This son of an Ayatollah is not only 30 years younger
than his father, but much nastier. So, given Iran’s history, there will
certainly be revenge on their mind, and they have a long memory, so time will
not heal this wound.
So, if “Death-To-America” Don’s mission was to lose the war,
he can declare MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Heck of a job Trumpie.
Trump couldn’t even be bothered to address the nation from
the Remains of The White House, preferring to do his business at one of his
bug-infested shithole golf shacks between golf wars…I mean exccusions. At least
he wasn’t wearing his fucking baseball cap this time. He sent Vance and
dry-drunk Pete to attend the latest Dignified Transfer of fallen soldier number
seven in Trump’s fucked-up, made-up war – because Trump was busy hosting a
fundraiser for MAGA Mike Johnson at his golf shack.
Trump will not rule out boots on the ground in Iran, just
not boots with bone spurs in them. He is also teasing a draft, you know, like
the one he dodged five times as a young asshole. Who doesn’t love a
draft-dodging war monger? How soon before we begin hearing about Baron Trump’s
bone spurs?
Donald sets out on a little excursion
Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump,
future quote
Thirteen
Americans KIA so far in Trump’s War on Iran and the
Donald Trump Memorial Epstein Files
I. Mangrey reporting.
It’s 2026. Do You Know Where Your Country Is?
March 13, 2026
Today, we present the question right up
front, followed by the set-up. Hey, it’s a topsy-turvy world folks. Just trying
to fit in.
Today’s Question For The Day:
How did we get here?
A few
weeks ago, long before Demented Dipshit Don launched Operation Epic Failure in
Iran, my aunt, my mother’s younger sister, who was born in Belgium in 1938 and
landed at Ellis Island along with her parents in 1951 (one year after my mother
immigrated), often talks politics with me. We regularly commiserate about the
current state of despairs. During that recent chat she asked, “How did we get
here?”
In a
way, it’s a pretty straight line from Jump Street to Trump Street. Day One, we
murdered millions and millions of the land’s original inhabitants and took
their land. Then we dragged more millions from their homes across the ocean and
treated them worse than animals. Neither one of these crimes against humanity
has really ended to this day. And we have never, as a nation, attempted to make
amends or reparations or apologize.
It
has been said the Hitler’s concentration camps were modeled after America’s
Indian reservation system. American returned the compliment by creating
Japanese internment camps, and now, the Fascist/Trump/Epstein regime is trying
to build concentration camps for mostly innocent immigrants.
Yet
people keep saying, “This is not who we are.” They insist Donald Trump and his
fascist fuckwits are not who we are. Well guess what, despite all the sick,
criminal, seditious, insane, dementia-addled shit Trump has perpetrated upon
this nation and the world, there are still more than one third of Americans, along
with 52 senators and 218 House members, and very consistently six Supreme Court
justices, who continue to all-but-literally (as far as we know) kiss his ass.
How and when can we be somewhere else?
This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.
March 13, 2026
Dr.
Dementia Does It Again
Reporter: “Have you been briefed about how many Iran sleeper cells there could be
inside the U.S. right now?
“I have been, and a lot of people came in through
Biden and his stupid open border. But we know where most of them are. We’ve got
our eye on all of them, I think.”
Donald
Jeffrey Epstein Trump, March 12,
Just so I have this straight, Deportation Donny
knows there are what he is making sound like many sleeper cells on our soil. They
are, I’m assuming, not here waiting for
He says “we know where MOST of them are”, and
that we have “our eye on ALL of them”. He thinks. Pretty good trick – they even
have their eyes on the ones they don’t know about. So, why the fuck haven’t they
rounded all, or even most, of them up and deported them? If only there was some
sort of government agency who knew how to grab people wherever they may be and
ship them overseas, or at least lock them up in some inhumane warehouse, or
maybe even shoot them in the face or in the back.
Is it possible Trump is lying?
_________________________________________
*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good
chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four
years. Sorry.
This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually
Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.
Twice Accused
March 12, 2026
So much
for white hats signifying good guys
Move over Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress.
___________________________________________
*Allegedly, allegedly.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.
All The Noise That’s Fucked To Print
March 11, 2026
Many people are saying things. Some people are doing things.
Some of those things are based on the things they said. Some of those things
are based on things other people said. It all adds up to a rollicking good
fucking time…for someone. Probably not you. Definitely not me.
Sky News reporter: Is Russia going to be neutral in
this?
Russian ambassador to the UK: We are not neutral. No,
we are not neutral. We are supportive to Iran, of course. And we consider, as I
have said, very negatively what is being done.
U.S. ambassador to the UN Mike Waltz: If they are
providing anything, it certainly hasn’t been very effective.
Trump’s longtime friend/idiot/special envoy to bend over for Russia Steve Witkoff: Yesterday on the call with the president, the Russians said that they have not been sharing. That’s what they said, so we can take them at their word.
Damaged Don: We want them to have a good leader. We
have some people who I think would do a good job. We have some people who think
I would do a good job.
A good leader is not the only thing Don wants for Iran. El
Trumpo is planning to help fund Iran’s war effort. Yes, you heard that right.
This was previously shared in this space by way of footnote. This has taken on
a larger life and is directly related to the above quote by the Russian
ambassador to the UK.
Drool, Baby Drool
It seems that Drooling Don determined it would be easier to
attack everyone who has oil – except of course Russia – than to waste all that
time dredging up domestic oil…for now. First Venezuela, then Iran. Despite all
this, those clearly not in the know are looking into tapping into our Strategic
Oil Reserves
Trump, the lone individual responsible for cutting off the
flow of oil through the Strait of Hormuz, has just figured out that stopping
oil shipments through the straits, causes oil shipments through the strait to
stop. Not to be out-dumbed, Trump decided to lift the oil embargo on Russia.
Russia, was, as everyone living and dead knows, instrumental in getting Trump
elected in 2016. Now that they have their stooge (apologies to stooges
everywhere) where they need him to be, they are publicly making it clear that
they will not support their mentally challenged plant in his stupid war against
Iran.
So what we have here is Trump blowing shit up, then
realizing there are consequences to blowing that shit up, and like the Titanic
approaching its nemesis iceberg, does not have the wherewithal to change
direction. As if that was not bad enough, Trump is now funding the Iranian war
effort via Russian oil assets that Trump is personally ensuring can resume by
ending the embargo.
Was Trump’s invasion of Iran just for Russia’s benefit? Did
Donny want to burn up our munitions so we don’t have any to sell Ukraine? Why
did Doomsday Don call Putin for an hour without telling anyone? We only learned
about the call because the Russians told everyone.
The call was followed by a golf-side chat, where our
part-time-war-time president finally lowered himself to address the American
people and explain what his fucking war was all about. Apparently he learned a
new word first – “excursion”. One definition of ‘excursion’ is “pleasure trip.”
So now we know how Good-Time Donny likes to spend other people’s time.
Unfortunately, he has to personally sit this one out on account of bone spurs.
But, he’s happy to enjoy his pleasure trip vicariously.
Here’s The Worst-Case Scenario You Ordered, Sir
“I guess the worst case would be we do this, and then
somebody takes over who’s as bad as the previous person, right? That could
happen. We don’t want that to happen. That would probably be the worst. You go
through this and then in five years you realize you put somebody in who was no
better.”*
Dumb-old Trump, March 3, 2026
The war is “very complete, pretty much”
Oh, and as predicted Der Furor pronounced his war, I’m
sorry, excursion, “very complete, pretty much” despite the fact that what he
described as the “worst-case” scenario – the replacement of a nasty supreme
leader by a nastier supreme leader in Iran – having come to pass very quickly.
It is probably time to stop messing around and just have
everyone wrap their lips around a nearby exhaust pipe. Why drag this out. It’s
time to let the rest of creation live in health and peace.
_______________________________________________
*Who knew Donny could be so
efficient? It only took five days.
I. Mangrey reporting something that has nothing to do with the
Donald Trump memorial EPSTEIN FILES
