Quote Of The Day – Putz Poops On Pope

Vance Makes Being Massively Stupid Look So Easy   

April 18, 2026

“I think it’s very, very important for the Pope to be careful
when he talks about matters of theology.”
JD Vance, April 15, 2025

“I think it’s very, very important for JD Vance to be careful
when he opens his stunningly ignorant mouth for any reason.”
I. Mangrey, April 16, 2026

Vice President and world-renown furniture fucker JD Vance (the JD stands for Fucking Idiot) who converted to Catholicism in 2019 – and put a Methodist church on the cover of his new book on faith – decided to weigh in on his boss’ blasphemous bullshit and repeated attacks on the Pope. Because the Pope came out in favor of peace. Which is kind of a big part of his whole gig.

Apparently, Vance’s conversion did not really take, even though just months after his “conversion” he said...

“My growing view is that too many American Catholics have failed to show proper deference to the papacy, treating the pope as a political figure to be criticized or praised according to their whims.”
JD Vance, April 1, 2020*

I’m not Catholic, nor do I play one on TV like Vance, but isn’t the Pope the representative of Jesus Christ and considered by Catholics to be, by definition, infallible? As Vance himself believed or at least said around the same time he called Trump “America’s Hitler”. That was before he converted to Trumpism. Vance is the emissary of the fucking anti-Christ who thinks himself God.**

One might have well assumed Vance meant in the opening quote ‘when he talks about politics’, except he kept going with that derailed-train-of-thought and doubled down.

Either way, it is entirely possible that Vance should just STFU since no one, and I mean no one, gives a flying fuck what he thinks. In particular this Pope. But also…

Fool House

Despite his most recent string of phantasmagorical flying fuck-ups, Vance might not be the Plague, but people are sure avoiding him like it. Here’s a recent event at Charlie Kirk’s TPUSA where Vance spoke to a house

It has long been obvious that Vance is uncomfortable around people, so this area full of empty seats suited him just fine. Besides, he is going to need to get accustomed to such palpable displays of affection and record crowds.

One More Thing

To be fair, Trump may not be the anti-Christ (not ruling it out) but he is demonstrably and flagrantly anti Christ.

__________________________________________________
*The date is real so maybe he meant this as an April Fool’s joke.
**In 2019, Trump, who can always be counted on to take the moral low-ground, did happily and proudly retweet someone calling him “the King of Israel” and “the second coming of God”.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Quote Of The Day.

So Much Losing

Donald Trump Is A Pre-existing Condition

April 17, 2026

He is also not healthy for himself…
just not fast enough

So, after losing the war, losing the negotiations and being solely responsible for the current, world-economy-fucking disaster of causing the previously free and open Strait of Hormuz to come under complete control of Iran, Desperate Don is blockading the Iranian blockade of the Hormuz Strait. Whatever the fuck that means.

This sounds like helping someone who is badly constipated by plugging their asshole with cement.

Speaking of assholes, though this one has his head full of cement…if we’re being generous, has his own ass plugged up with his head.

Did Don go after the Pope to distract from the

Donald trump memorial Epstein files

that he needed to distract from his disastrous illegal Iran war, which he launched in order to distract from the

Donald trump memorial Epstein files

or is all of this just because Trump is a massive shit-stain on the human race?

My money is on who-gives-a-fuck.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Farm Around And Find Out, Revisited

But The Farm! Buy The Farm! Buy The Farm!

April 17, 2025

We have mentioned this before, but as we are always looking to help our dear leader Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump, we thought it was worth revisiting. A while back, we were rummaging around the internets and came across this beautiful farm for sale. It is still available, and the purpose we had in mind for it has only snowballed. Or perhaps more accurately, sun-downed.

Now that our mostly deceased president has literally decimated his current domicile and has since set his psychotic sights on the rest of America, maybe it’s time for him to find a new happy place.

Doesn’t this look peaceful and way the fuck out of the way?

Since our perfidious president appears to be on his last marble and since he is such a fan of purchasing real estate, many people are suggesting that it might be advantageous for Donald Trump to buy the farm.

Trump Is Losing His Marble

Given the irrefutable evidence of deterioration we are seeing in Trump's physical and mental states, not to mention all the psychotic fascist feces he’s been flinging, it might be best to expedite the process. Plus, as shown in this picture, this barn has an East Wing the master baiter…I mean builder could slap his name all over it and  turn into dust whenever he wants.

What the hell is going on with his tiny, little hands?

What the hell is going on with ankles that barely fit in his pants?

Almost-Dead Donald cannot walk in a straight line (Time for a breathalyzer? Or a neurologist?), and his two remaining brain cells are about to go Thelma and Louise, plus…

What the fuck is that metastasizing melon-looking mass popping out of his shirt collar? That does not look healthy at all. He might want to have that thing removed before it spreads.

Buy Now, Or We Pay Later

That beautiful piece of land shown above – which has another great advantage of being upstate – is still available; we are more convinced than ever that Deteriorating Don should buy the farm before it's too late. Seriously, where would Trump be happier than a nice farm upstate?

We are happy to help in any way possible to get Trump where he needs to go. A nice peaceful place where he and his fellow Messiah can  

The patriotic staff at Paying Attention™.

Alternative History (Because, Why Not?)

All The News (Noise) That's Shit To Print

April 16, 2026

Mr. and Mrs. America, and all the ships and clippers at sea, we, like so many others, are frequently asked to rewrite history, or have just taken it upon themselves to make shit up.

If Donald Trump was Winston Churchill…

Well, assuming he would not just say okay to Hitler and the Nazis, because why wouldn’t he. You’re right, he would absolutely have sided with Hitler. Presumably, he would have, as he is doing right now with great vigor and success, attacked Americans by every means available.*

 

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Iran, we shall fight in Cuba and the streets of America, we shall fight with growing lies and growing stupidity everywhere, we shall defend our power, whatever the cost may be, we shall fuck you at the gas pumps, we shall fuck you at the checkout lines, we shall fuck you in the housing market, we shall fuck you at the voting booths, we shall fuck you over health care and shoot you in the fields and in the streets while you protest peacefully, we shall fight in the cities and towns; we shall never surrender until America is defeated and ours forever.

This has been a Paying Attention™ special feature.

Questions For The Day – This Means War

Hate Makes His World Go Round

April 15, 2026

Right now, Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump is at war with Islam via his bombing Iran, threatening them, saying “a whole civilization will die tonight”. He is also at war with the Vatican, and apparently all of Christianity as displayed by his repeated attacks on the Pope and Trump’s most recent depiction of himself as Jesus. Trump has thus far resisted actually bombing the Vatican. Polymarket is probably giving pretty good odds on that.

Trump is also at war with each and every one of America’s allies across the globe. Sir Ed Davey, the leader of the Liberal Democrats in the UK added this glowing assessment of Trump

“Regrettably, he is no friend of the United Kingdom. He’s no leader of the free world. He is a dangerous and corrupt gangster and that is how we must treat him.”

Davey is absolutely not wrong. We are so very fucked.

Today’s Questions For The Day:

Hey, what about the Jews? What are we? Chopped liver? Why won’t he piss off the Jews like he’s doing to Muslims and Christians? Is he anti-Semitic?

These have been your Paying Attention™ Questions For The Day.

HFS

 

Jesus H. Trump

April 13, 2026

It has long and frequently been posited in this space that every insulting thing Trump says about anyone else is only and always about himself. He can barely perceive the presence of anyone else other than himself. 

It should be noted that by definition Pope Leo XIV is a devout Catholic. His brother, it turns out, is a devout MAGAt. Freedom of religion vs. freedom of derision. Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump is, if not by definition, then by everything else, one of the most irreligious and unholy creatures ever to skulk the Earth.

Poop Punks Pope

The most recent example has Der Furor going after the first American pope via the white nationalist/racist/fascist/Nazi-infested social media pratfall...I mean platform with the Orwellian name Truth Social; it is neither at best.

Trump's lackey Sean Hannity also went after Pope Leo XIV for not understanding how violent the God of the Old Testament was and/or is (assuming "his" actual existence), which according to Hannity implies that all violence, especially Trump's, is A-OK with or without God. Trump jumped all over that shit and attempted to smite the Pope with a slurry of words, presumably from his brain, but more likely pulled from way up Trump's ass.

No need to read this, just seeing it is more than enough

Did Hannity help his pal extract these words for all to see? We may never know for sure. Hopefully.

Where Trump Thinks He Is Talking About Himself But Is Totally Not

Here is the exception that proves the rule of Trump only and always talking about himself. 

Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump posted the picture below, presumably attempting to upstage the Pope he is beefing with, while auditioning for the new gig Trump surely believes he deserves.

After pissing off just about everyone in the Christian world,
Dumb-ass Don deleted this pathetic and sickening tableau

Are we sure Donald's parents weren't first cousins? Or brother and sister? Either way, there is something very, very wrong with his very, very large uh-brain. As is said in other contexts, it's not the size that matters, it's how you use it. No matter how large Dumb Don's brain might be, it clearly does nothing other than take up space.

There are still some smart people out there

One More Thing

Cheeto Christ

 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled swearing to God.

Broken News Late Edition – JD Strikes (Out) Again

The Best People

April 12, 2026

All the votes are in. Donald Trump…I mean Viktor Orbán, against all odds, threats and cheating Hungary’s asshole dictator has been deposed by the people of his country. Orbán was a favorite role model for America’s aspiring tyrant, who is currently the world's weakest strongman.

Not only is Trump stunned by this election, or as he prefers to call it miscarriage-of-justice, he should be very worried.

Trump’s number two (in more ways than one) JD Vance, who once called Trump “America’s Hitler” (think broken clock), and was once laid low by a donut order, and who by his very presence ended the life of Pope Francis, was sent as Trump’s emissary to give Orbán that final push over the finish line. Unfortunately for Vance that was not the finish line, it was a cliff overlooking the political abyss.

Orbán’s poll numbers just days before the election took a sizeable dip right after the dip Vance spread his special mojo all over Orbán.

But that wasn’t awl four are knew hero JD. He then jetted off to Pakistan to (pretend to) negotiate a settlement with Iran after the rogue nation fended off Trump’s ill-conceived, ill-advised, illegal attack. Vance had help though – two fake real estate mongrels, Jared Son-in-law, and Trump’s old buddy and professional idiot Steve Witkoff. 

None of these nitwits has a moment’s experience with international negotiations. The closest Vance ever came to foreign relations was fucking an imported couch. Trump’s three stooges, not to be confused with the original Three Stooges, who served an actual purpose, spent 21 hours watching the Iranian negotiators desperately trying to stifle laughs. Then the Americans tucked their heads between their knees and crawled back home to Demented Daddy Don.

You would think that having to spend 21 hours with Vance could get anyone to agree to anything just to end the encounter.

Trump is now a cornered, rabid racoon – and not just because of his undyed eyes in that burnt umber background. It is possible that even he can see the writing on the wall. He can’t read it, but he has probably had someone read it to him. So there is no telling what he will try in order to avoid the humiliating thrashing that appears to be looming.

What happens next is anybody’s nightmare.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled stress baking.

Question For The Day – Who’s Lying Now?

You Can’t Spell Melania Without Lie-a

April 12, 2026

Many were shocked by the Worst Lady suddenly appearing on the TV telling the American public to, and I’m paraphrasing here, shut the fuck up right this minute about her having anything to do with the reviled (except by Donald) child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein – her husband’s long-time best friend, who according to sources introduced the two while Epstein was raping children and Donald was still married to the woman he cheated on his first wife (who is now buried at one of Trump’s golf courses) with. The current, and hopefully last of Donald’s wives (if you get my drift) insisted, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, she never had sex with…I mean “a relationship” with Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell.

The Happy Quouple

Mrs. Trump comically talked about lies and ethical standards aimed at her oh-so-innocent (except for “allegedly” entering this country illegally and knowingly marrying one of the most disgusting, dishonest, dirty-dealing douchebag this country has ever seen) life. To be fair, she acted as though she was very sincere.

Good thing they redacted the ‘To’ and ‘From’ names
Ghislaine Maxwell and Melania Trump

Mr. Trump claimed he was completely taken by surprise by his wife’s sudden decision to stand in front of the camera and desperately attempt to speak English, and to lie as well as her long-estranged husband.

Today’s Question For The Day:

Is it possible that Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump might be lying?

Bonus Question:

Is it possible that there is anything out of Trump’s mouth that is not a lie?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Pic Of The Day – Killing Us Not-So-Softly

The Kill Is Coming From Inside The (Remains Of The White) House

April 11, 2026

“Hair” Mousse-olini

“Mr. president, sir, can you tell us what you consider to be the greatest threat to America?”

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.