Death By Epstein

Epstein Disbar Virus

February 14, 2026

It is finally time to take a break from everyone’s most reviled and favorite news story of the century, the newly branded

TRUMPSTEIN FILES^*

Just kidding, why would anyone want to stop watching the goose laying golden showers…I mean eggs.

Fucking Up With A Fancy Accent

British Prime Minister Keir Starmer is taking big heat after Peter Mandelson, his appointee as ambassador to the United States was found to have landed in the Epstein Files. Calls for Starmer’s resignation are multiplying. As are the people still getting fucked by Epstein…at least they are all grown-ass men this time. And oh so consenting.

The most baffling, nauseating part of the story is Starmer is poised to lose his position for appointing Mandelson, who Starmer knew had ties to the pedophile sex trafficker before he appointed Mandelson. And yet the American president, a known 34-time convicted felon and adjudicated sex offender himself, seems safe in the job he is objectively sucking at. And, old Trumpy appears in the Epstein Files more than 1,000,000 times, and we’ve only been allowed to sniff briefly at 3,000,000 of what we are told are 6,000,000 files. What isn’t wrong with this picture?

Prince Andrew of England (or whatever the fuck his official title was), thanks to his association with Epstein, is now an ex-prince. Men the world over are having their lives turned to shit, except for the sleazy MAGAts scurrying around the Remains of The White House, like DOGE Douche Elon Musk, or Trump’s Guardian of Garbage Steve Bannon, or Clueless Commerce Secretary Howard “I’ll Never Go Near That Man Again Until I Do” Lutnick. And particularly the Big Cheeto. Bring him down! Bring him down! Take them all down! To Kristi Noem’s gravel pit.

And which batch of horrific Epstein Pedo-files do you think has the worst stuff in it? The batch we are so far permitted to sneak a peek at (which is patently illegal since by law the “Justice” Department must release ALL THE FILES by December 19, 2025, which should be any minute now), or the batch they are pretending they don’t need to release at all?

I cannot claim to know much about politics in the UK, but it would seem possible that being in the Epstein Files is a prerequisite for any sort of association with the Trump Reich. I just assumed that Trump demanded this of any ambassador to his America.

It’s possible Starmer had no choice. It’s also possible that he’s another bumbling idiot in keeping with what appear to be global norms here in the Whoring ‘20s.

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*Man, whatever is in those files must really be bad for old Fartenstein, because his flying monkeys are really working their little tails off trying to figure out how to protect him from letting the public in on it.

I. Mangrey, sitting here watching the wheels go round. 

Thought For The Day – Positively Poundstone

Poundstone Tells Trump To Pound Sand

February 12, 2026

I believe the kids call this reposting.

I’m a big fan of Paula Poundstone. Funny lady. She is keeping it real, spreading the word, fighting the illegitimate, fascist power.

Check her out every day

And, since I took too long to post this because there’s too much other freaky fascist fucknuttery going on, here’s today’s entry from Paula

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
Kinda fun for a change.

EXTREMELY Broken News – Bondi And Humiliation

Hostile Witness

February 12, 2025

Today’s Broken News report is brought to you by…you guessed it

Epstein
The man, the myth the movement

Bondi came as close as possible to performing oral sex on Donald Jeffrey Trump’s dead dick as possible during her “testimony” Judiciary Committee hearing. Is there such a thing as verbal sex? It was not testimony in the commonly accepted sense. It was senseless. It was testy moaning. It was, once again, as was her previous appearance before the Senate, a pertinent question asked, followed by a pre-planned personal attack on each questioner having nothing to do with the subject at hand. At one point yesterday, Blondi began whining about how great the Stock Market was doing, which by the way has no relationship to the real economy as experienced by real people, and was falling as she spoke.

Blondi's responses that were even in the same space-time continuum as the questions consisted of Blondi demonstrating loudly and angrily about not having the faintest clue about what was going on in the department she supposedly runs. Every non-response to every serious question was a virtual tonguing of some below-the-stretched-out-belt part of Blondi’s work daddy. But everyone knows Don can only get aroused when he’s looking into a mirror. Do not try to picture that.

Hostile, Witless

At one point, while not answering a question, Trump’s highest-ranking pedophile protector bragged about breaking the law, yelling about releasing 3,000,000 documents. Those documents represent only half of the legally required – by Donald Jeffrey Trump himself, albeit under duress – documents we are told exist. And you can bet the farm, the condo, the beach house, the yacht and the kids that the still-hidden 3,000,000 documents are the most incriminating and indictable of all for Trump and who-knows-who-else.

Blondi thinks her pathetic, unprofessional arrogance made her look tough, but it made her look like shit, and not even tough shit. Every single second she is on the job (so to speak) is another indelible stain on the Justice Department. None of that, of course, has any effect on Blondi – you cannot stain filth.

For his part, Donny Doowrong got a serious upgrade in the half of the Epstein Pedo-files that have been begrudgingly sort of released. We had originally been informed that Trump's name appeared in the files 38,000 times. Daddy Dirtiest's appearance has been upsized to over 1,000,000 times. For those of you keeping score, that's one million. With an M. Million.

The only Trump appointee so far who did not spend his time screaming at his questioners was the professional doofus/lickspittle Howard Lutnick (whose name appears in more than 250 Epstein Pedo-files). Lutnick had to backtrack on his previous, completely volunteered statement that he met Epstein one time*, decided he was disgusting and never crossed paths with Epstein again…oh, except for maybe that time when Lutnick brought his family to Epstein’s island – years after Lutnick said he would never have anything to do with the man who was convicted of having sex with a minor, in the time between the two incidents. Lutnick likely chose to maintain his composure 1) because he knew he really fucked up, and 2) he was hoping that no one would notice his precious bodily fluids running down his leg while he testified.

“I did not have any relationship with him. I barely had anything to do with that person.”
             Howard Lutnick, (very likely) lying to Congress, February 10, 2026

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
Bill Clinton, (very likely lying, or at the very least twisting the English
language into a pretzel) to the American people, January 26, 1998

TRUMPSTEIN 

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*During an interview, Lutnick, out of nowhere, decided to explain how horrible his next-door neighbor was, and how everyone knew Epstein was a master blackmailer, which clearly threw Trump under the bus, the bullet train and the Titanic.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled spa day. 

Fraught For The Day – Danger, Will Robinson, Danger

Different Shit, Every Day

February 11, 2026

Donald Trump wants to turn America into Abu Ghraib, or more likely Abu Trump.* He is a cornered, rabid creature, with its stolen life-force draining from its grotesque humanoid form, blindly and violently lashing out in all directions. The Trump Reich is building a number of prison camps, but many are being stopped in their tracks by massive uproar and vigilance across the country.

There are already a number of human warehouses where thousands of innocent immigrants – our friends, neighbors, local workers – are currently being held. These detainees have been denied due process, civil rights, legal rights, and sometimes their lives. Surprise inspections have revealed disgusting, inhumane conditions, including no beds, insufficient heat or personal hygiene needs and rotten food.

But that is not what I wanted to talk about right now.

Trump’s newest depredation is not really new at all. It is part and parcel of his earlier psychosis of having won the 2020 election, which of course led to his January 6, 2021 attempted coup. This fucking lunatic is still running for president in 2020. Someone should tell him he was elected president in 2024…just don’t tell me; I don’t want to know. If Trump had won in 2020 we wouldn’t be having this lovely little chat. We’d all be dead by now. Or at least wishing we were.

Somebody get gramps a Xanax or maybe a nice relaxing coma.

Dementia Don’s latest take on our elections did not help his case for not being committed…and I don’t mean gung-ho.

The thirty-four-time convicted felon and one-time (so far) insurrectionist told ex-looney-podcaster-turned-worthless-deputy-FBI-director-for-several-weeks-turned-looney-podcaster-again-and-soon-to-be-Fux-News-gaping-maw Dan Bongino,

“The Republcans [his word not mine] should say we want to take over, we should take over the voting the voting in at least…many, 15 places. The Republicans ought to nationalize the voting.”

Naturally, he denied ever saying “nationalize” when called out for this blatantly unconstitutional sedition by a reporter then next day.

Off (With) The Record(s)

Step one has already been carried out and carried away. Trump ordered the previously disappeared Tulsi Gabbard, who has no business sticking her white-streaked head into domestic affairs, to steal all the ballots from the Fulton County, Georgia election facility. To do no one knows what with. Just kidding. Everyone knows what they plan to do with those ballots, and it would make Jeffrey Epstein blush.

Here’s what the fuckers stole from Fulton County

This mention of Jeffrey Epstein is brought to you by

EPSTEIN FILES

Epstein Files, you know you want them, you know they have them, you know they are breaking the law by hiding at least 3,000,000 files from the American public. And that is YOU.

Christopher Titus – Armageddon Update

We now return you to the non-Epstein news…

In a recent interview with Substack host Jim Acosta, former White House counsel in Trump's first administration Ty Cobb accused Trump of tarnishing “everything that was once dignified and sacred about America. He's not well...”

He’s not well? He’s not on the same planet as ‘well’.

Besides the unbridled hatred and racism, it’s entirely possible that much of Trump’s terror squad illegal and insane deployment in reliably Democratic strongholds is not so much about deporting immigrants as it is about scaring people in those locations into staying home on Election Day in November.

So they allowed pornographic images of children victimized by Epstein and his “friends” but redacted the head of this mystery motherfucker, sorry I meant child-fucker…see if you can guess who owns the missing head

Freak out…

I mean, Peace Out.

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*Before he turns it into Nazi Germany.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.

You're welcome.

What has you fraught for the day? 

Turn On, Tune In, Drop Everything And Get In The Game*

I Have A Dream…I Mean An Idea

February 10, 2026

Hey Kids!

Remember the COVID-19 pandemic? Remember how we were all supposed to wear masks to protect ourselves and each other from spreading the virus?

Remember how all the MAGAts were shitting themselves because wearing masks meant people were losing their freedoms by trying to not kill each other by spreading the virus everywhere?

And then, remember how thousands of Trump’s MAGAts wore masks to hide their racist  fucking faces at their rallies? And now many of those same fuckwits, and thousands of others just like them – racists, white nationalists, insurrectionists…you know, morons – are on the government’s payroll (i.e., OUR payroll – talk about taxation without representation) roaming the streets of Blue America, snatching up anyone they feel like, ruining their lives and this country.

Well guess what, there’s a new infestation spreading throughout the land

Donald Trump’s ICE ICE

They are spreading themselves so thickly across the country injuring and kidnapping people, destroying property and killing innocent American citizens. And they are taking pictures of peacefully protesting Americans to build a database for, when the time comes, rounding up all of us to keep us from speaking out and/or living.

These ICEholes are all hiding behind masks, which all of a sudden don’t seem to be harming their freedoms at all. It is harming the entire fuck out of ours.

So, here’s the idea:

Whenever you find yourself in the presence of Trump’s ICE ICE, PUT ON A MASK to protect yourself from being identified by the terrorists.

Or maybe we should get masks with the face of miniature Nazi-wannabe Gregory Bovino, recently ousted as from his position as head ratfucker in Minneapolis, and more recently thrown out of a Vegas strip club. The owners stated they tossed him “for the safety of their patrons, asserting their right as a private business to refuse service.”

Let’s see how they fucking like it.

If that doesn’t work, it might be necessary to consider the words of eight-term representative Jerry Nadler (D-NY)

“What is really the major problem in this country today is the fascism in our streets, the attacks on American citizens by masked hoodlums. If you were attacked by a masked person, you might think you were being kidnapped. You'd be justified in shooting the person to protect yourself. But we see [DHS victims] being shot for what? For driving a car? We see people, we see these, the ICE goons break into people's homes without a warrant. We see them drag out a man, an American citizen, in his underwear without even permitting — in the snow, without even permitting him to get dressed.”

Many people have always said that this is the actual reason (beside the other reason – hunting down runaway slaves) for the Second Amendment – to protect oneself from tyrannical government intrusion. I’m not a gun person, but it seems clear that throwing tea into the harbor just won’t cut it this time.

The king must be put out to pasture…or maybe a nice farm upstate.

Nils Lofgren - No Kings No Hate No Fear

____________________________________________
*It’s just an expression. This. Is. Not. A. Game. This is not a drill. Do not adjust your set. Adjust your attitude. Take back the streets. Viva Minnesota and all those already doing the good trouble.

I. Masking.
                                       

More Adventures Of El Destructo

February 9 , 2026

Previously on As The World Turns...To Shit…

When we last saw Blob the Unbuilder we were looking at some of the more physical, architectural damage he was inflicting on America’s cherished icons: bulldozing the East Wing, preparing to strip the Kennedy Center to the girders after defiling its façade. All this on top of his soulless robo-wife, who has repeatedly disgraced our House, ripping out trees planted by Jaqueline Kennedy one of the most beloved first ladies ever to grace what used to be the White House. Then her ignominious lout of a husband paved over the fucking Rose Garden and is planning destroy the entirety of our nation's capital with balls room, a gaudy and pathetic arch and who knows what the fuck he will decide to level next. A real Godlesszilla.

We also learned that Donny was holding hostage $16B in federal funds to update and upgrade the tunnel system connecting New York with New Jersey, which is critical to our national economy. He is withholding the funds until Penn Station in New York and/or Dulles International Airport, which services Washington, DC and the surrounding area. The best part? Trump said “Chuck Schumer suggested that to me about changing the name of Penn Station to Trump Station.” Did he also say you should be Pope?

Here is a better idea, and one that won’t require millions of dollars to do. Death Squad Don can name all the concentration camps he is trying to build after himself. How about Trumpenwald, or Trumpwitz. He can even plaster his mug shot on the sides of the railway cars that transport his “guests” to the camps. MAGAts will love it.

There is one more thing Der Furor is planning to tear asunder – our election infrastructure. Donald “Death To America” Trump is exploring all the possible ways he might use his Supreme Court-given powers to stop Democrats from taking over the House, and maybe the Senate this November by getting more votes. Nothing is off limits, nothing is within reason, or constitutional.

While once again harping on the 2020 election he lost in the popular vote, the un-popular vote – the Electoral Kindergarten – and more than 60 times in the courts,* Demented Don actually said something true. Of course, it was not on purpose, and it was not what he thought he meant. He said that we cannot allow what happened in the 2020 election to happen again. That is true; he does not want any more free and fair elections, that risk democracy happening.

Thirty-four-time convicted felon and one-time (so far) insurrectionist Trump told ex-looney-podcaster-turned-worthless-deputy- FBI-director-for-several-weeks-turned-looney-podcaster-again Dan Bongino, "The Republicans ought to nationalize the voting.”

The next day, Demolition Don told reporter Tom Llamas, “I didn’t say nationalize. [Yes you fucking did.] I said there are some areas in our country that are extremely corrupt [i.e., Black/Democratic-leaning**]. They have very corrupt elections [i.e., they didn’t vote for me]. Take a look at Detroit, take a look at Philadelphia.*** Take a look at Atlanta.”

Fun Fact: America used to have a federal law to watch over certain states – former slave states and their ilk who had a habit of trying to keep Black voters from voting. It was called the Voting Rights Act. The Supreme Court majority, led by lifelong anti-Voting Rights Act asshole and current chief justice John Roberts, gutted the law, with Roberts claiming oh-so-wrongly that racism in America was a thing of the past. I guess he does not own a mirror.

Make him stop!

Trump probably did not say:

“I'm not stopping all voting. I'll be letting people who like me vote. So, we're using the structure. We're letting some of the people vote, the good ones, then we won’t have to have Democrats. It'll be the best voting ever. Then I can be president as long as I want. Not a dictator. Or am I? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

In Case You Were Wondering, Steve Bannon Is Not Dead Yet

Trump’s chief troll/thug/coward Steve Bannon has already begun his push to terrorize the electorate, the main focus of which is to frighten non-white voters, especially Hispanics – who are fleeing the Fascist/Trump/ICE Party in huge numbers.

Bannon recently belched out a threat, “We’re going to have ICE surround the polls come November. We’re not going to sit around and allow you to steal the country again.” Yes, the country was stolen by voters who wanted to take it by voting to get rid of the guy who killed tens-of-thousands, maybe 50,000,000 Americans (using Trumpian math here) by royally botching the COVID pandemic.

I for one will not be surprised when Bannon is exposed as a serial killer.

I. Mangrey reporting; with any luck I’ve been hallucinating for the last 11 years.

Viva Minnesota!

Pic Of The Day – Don Of The Jungle

Monkey Asshole Business   

February 8, 2026

You might have heard that just before midnight on Thursday, rather than sleeping like a normal 79-year-old human being, Donald the Land Shark posted on his app a video that ended with an absolute non-sequitur depicting a president as a monkey.

Many people were saying that this was severely fascist…I mean rapist…I mean racist. It’s so hard to keep up with this guy. He does deserve some credit though for posting overtly racist shit during Black History Month. Wat to go, sir.

When confronted, Trump unsurprisingly refused to apologize, tried to blame a staffer who would never have access to Trump’s Anti-truth Anti-social app and then, as is so often the case when he denies doing something, dim-wittingly admitted it was him, adding, “I am, by the way,  the least racist president you’ve had in a long time as far as I’m concerned,” and then closed with “I didn’t make a mistake.”

We tried to find this image, but it seems it has been all but disappeared from the internets.

Our relentless interns believe they have found the offensive image and we present it here for you our loyal listeners without commercial interruption.

WARNING: many people have found this image offensive and disturbing.

Not sure why so many people thought this was racist

Oh wait, you’re saying Dumb Don posted images depicting Barack and Michele Obama as monkeys? Never mind.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day. 

Everything Trump Touches Turns To Rubble

Rubble Trouble
           or
Double Rubble
           or
Mr. Trump Stop Tearing Down Those Walls

February 7, 2026

From the guy who brought you the demolition of the East Wing of the White House, say good-fucking-bye to the objectively beautiful and structurally and cosmetically temporarily remaimed…I mean renamed John F. Kennedy Memorial Center For The Performing Arts. This is what the creature Trump is planning to do:

“I'm not ripping it down. I'll be using the steel. So, we're using the structure. We're using some of the marble and some of the marble comes down, but when it's opened, it'll be brand new and really beautiful. It'll be at the highest level. The steel will all be checked out because it'll be fully exposed.”

Call me Rubble

What the unmitigated fuck is he talking about? By all accounts, save that of one dementia-ridden psychopath, the Kennedy Center is magnificent, comfortable and in need of nothing other than minimal, normal building maintenance. That and the removal of the noxious graffiti recently affixed to it’s previously proud and respectful façade. It in no way needs to be stripped down to its skeleton. That would be more appropriate to another structure; one that is hideous, physically unsound and is undoubtedly and objectively in need of the most severe and at least temporarily crippling overhaul, seen here announcing its plan to demolish the Kennedy Center

This is the dilapidated piece of shit in question. Tear it down for parts.

Naturally, Trump’s description of the Kennedy Center is nothing but an accurate description of himself. Because he is always and only ever talking about himself. Every demeaning slur he hurls at anyone is him describing himself. He is incapable of talking about or even being cognizant of anyone other than Donald Trump. It is he and not the Kennedy Center that is in utter and irredeemable disrepair, inside and out.

Irony/Idiocy Alert!

Donald “Death To America” Trump is threatening to withhold funds for BUILDING something. Il Douche is trying to blackmail New York City into renaming Pennsylvania Station in New York City and Washington Dulles International Airport outside Washington, and you’ll never not guess in five seconds for whom he wants them named. One imagines many people would refuse to travel using the Donald Fucking Trump Train House and Casino, or the Trump Dull-ass America First Airport and Brothel.

Donald has hijacked already appropriated funding to construct a new tunnel between New York and New Jersey. The existing North River Tunnel was built in 1910, has never been substantially renovated and is literally falling apart. The tunnel system is used to transport some 20 percent of the country’s GNP. If it fails, it could be almost as bad for our economy as electing Trump president. The new tunnel project had to be halted because, and I fucking kid you not, because in accordance with the laws at that time, all contracts were subject to maintaining diversity, equity and inclusion – the dreaded and now illegal, yes illegal DEI. Un. Fucking. Believable.

What a pathetic, disgraceful little man.

Rumor has it that New Yorkers are starting a GoFuckYou page

But Wait, There’s More

Tune in tomorrow for more adventures of El Destructo.

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*And several of his hench-monkeys had their asses sued out from under them; some had their law licenses suspended or revoked. Lookin’ at you Rudy G.
**Hey wait a minute; I thought there were very fine people…on both sides.
***Philadelphia put Joe Biden over the top in 2020.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thought For The Day – Election Rejection

Elections Are For Suckers And Losers

February 6, 2026

First, a word from our sponsor…

EPSTEIN FILES^*

There are still plenty of no-doubt-juicy files out there waiting to be wrenched from the claws of Trump’s protectors. Despite the recent release of 3,000,000 more documents, we were only recently told that there were 6,000,000 stil being “processed”. They originally claimed that millions and millions did not exist, and despite Trump’s criminal criminal attorney insisting that they’ve released everything, for some reason we know there are tons more they are hiding.

These sleazebags managed to leave visible personal information about survivors of Epstein’s sex trafficking/rape enterprise, of which there is literally no way in hell Trump – and many other scumbags apparently too well-known to mention – was unaware. While purposely putting these victims in grave danger by exposing them, the Trump protectors at the Department of what was formerly known as Justice continues to hide the names and/or deeds of an unknown number of Epstein co-conspirators and customers for his trafficked children. In fact, we were told that the most graphic, horrific images were too disgusting to be released. But they apparently weren’t too graphic and horrific for them to have been done to under-age girls. By the hundreds. For years and years.

Release all the fucking files you scum sucking weasels!*

Let’s all help Rape-y Don keep his promise to release all the Epstein Pedo-files, and to obey the Epstein File Transparency Act he signed into law requiring the release of all the files.

And now, back to the non-child-sex-trafficking news…

Meanwhile, the Trump-infested (low)intelligence community along with the Department of Fatherland security are very busy pre-emptively disrupting the midterm elections which figure to put Trump in a legislative straightjacket by sweeping dozens of Fascist/Trumpers out of the House, and quite possibly grabbing a majority in the Senate. This could bring Trump's onslaught against democracy and America to a screeching halt.

This is not a legislative straightjacket,
but it will do in a pinch

Scared shitless about the coming midterms*, El Dementiadente moaned that he has accomplished so much that “when you think of it, we shouldn’t even have an election.”

That’s funny, when I think of it, you should not only be removed from office immediately and institutionalized, you should be in jail for the rest of your unnatural life.

Trump is also shitting his diaper about getting impeached when he loses the midterms. On January 6^th, the fifth anniversary of his attempt to overthrow the newly, duly elected government of the United States, because he fuckin lost the election to Joe Biden, Trump whined

“You gotta win the midterms. ‘Cause if we don’t win the midterms, it’s just gonna be, I mean they’ll find a reason to impeach me. I’ll get impeached.”

Are you fucking kidding me? Find a reason? You mean pick a reason.  We are practically drowning in the impeachable offenses this rat fucker commits every fucking day. You can barely take a step without ending up with a bunch of his impeachable offenses eating away the bottoms of your shoes. You cannot take a breath without choking 10 or 20 of Trump’s impeachable offenses. He has amassed more impeachable offenses than there are guns in America.

Not to mention Trump’s frequent mention of staying in office long past his expiration date. There he goes again…

From just a few days ago

He is not fucking kidding. He has no intention of leaving without a civil war.

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*All apologies to real weasels everywhere.
**Darn Old Trump continues to float an unconstitutional third term (maybe four or twenty) as president. As though there will be anything left to be president of if he manages to live out this one.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
We never said it would be pretty.