Par For The Curse

Scar For The Course

October 15, 2026

Obviously, the list of Trump’s crimes against humanity, democracy and just about everything else is becoming endless. There are few things that are more egregious to us at Paying Attention™ than crimes against nature. And Artificial Don is certainly no stranger to these.

Donald Fucking Trump simply will not stop his crusade of destruction while there remains fart-like breath in his grotesque, decaying body. His latest assault on humanity and nature is the illegal – after being specifically ordered by a judge not to do it without notifying and getting permission – and wanton murder of more than 400 old trees on a Washington, DC public golf course. Since if there is anything Trump cares about anywhere near himself and his money, it’s golf. Death-To-America Don wants to upgrade the course, presumably making it inaccessible to the public unless they can pay through the nose.

Guess Who Offensively Came To Trump’s Defense

Trump’s hench-slug and American Goebbels Stephen Miller released this feces…I mean statement defending the indefensible

Yeah, well you missed just about everything having to do with democracy…or decency

D.C. District Judge Ana Reyes had a slightly different take, literally screaming at the government.

Marissa Ann Piropato, a Justice Department attorney admitted to the court in Monday's hearing that 430 trees were cleared over weekend. Here is a sample of the exchange between Judge Reyes and Trump’s blonde…I mean lawyer

Judge Reyes exploded: “430 trees!” 

Judge Reyes: “I had said at the May hearing that I didn't want 10 trees chopped down without someone having notice. On what universe did anyone in your office think that that was acceptable?”

Piropato: “Your Honor, we did our best in providing notice”

Judge Reyes interrupted: “You did not do your best!  You did your absolute worst!”

Surely we have not heard the last of Convict #45-47 ignoring judges, the law, the Constitution and the American people. As we mentioned this morning, it is likely that the worst is yet to come.

I. Mangrey, repulsed.

Headline Of The Day – Murder On The Potomac*

I Think That I Shall Never See
A Bigger Asshole Murder Trees   

October 15, 2026

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. To paraphrase Don, Jr.’s former fiancée, plastic surgeon’s playground, current grifting con artist (well, not so much artist as clown) and now ex-ambassador to Greece Kimberly Guilfoyle

THE WORST IS YET TO COME!

More on this story later today.

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*But not the one we’d like to see.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Headline Of The Day.

Broken News – She Seems Noise…I Mean Nice

Ain’t She Sweet?*

October 14, 2026

The Lecher-in-chief finally settled on a new press model secretary. She claims, without any proof, to be an attorney and lied about passing the bar in China, which is not allowed. Off to a very Trumpy start.

Introducing...Katie Zacharia

Clearly more teeth than brains

Zacharia delivered the blondest…I mean briefest briefing ever. She had no idea what she was doing, could barely read what was written for her and at one point said “my president” when she meant “my husband”. I wonder why Ivanka’s dad/stalker picked her.

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*No, just dim.
 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled dumb blonde joke.

Quote Of The Day – The (Not So) Great Unwashed

Thanks For Sharing   

October 14, 2026

“I don’t think I’ve washed my hands for ten years.”
“Germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them therefore they’re not real.”
Pete Hegseth, while co-hosting Fox and Friends (Weekend)
(actual quotes)

Don’t believe me?

Wow! Ignorant and proud of it.

In his defense, there is a 90% chance he was drunk when those words made it past Pete Hairgel’s liquor-loving, looney-toon lips.

And there’s no way he can wash his hair; no shampoo could penetrate all that greasy prick stuff locking his hairs in place. Was he in Devo?

And a pig

This has been your Paying Attention™ Quote Of The Day.

Lord Of The AIs

October 13, 2026

The Last Stupor

Trump dined with a bunch of tech bros to hand them the keys to Armageddon. Tuesday’s gathering included a who’s who of the tech world, including (L to R above) Advanced Micro Devices CEO Lisa Su, Palantir CEO Alex Karp, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang, Alphabet CEO Sundar Pichai, Amodei, SpaceX and Tesla CEO Elon Musk, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella and OpenAI President Greg Brockman.

As a result of this gathering of ghouls, these titans of treachery and tech terror have graciously agreed to police themselves as they rush blindly from our dystopian present to our dystopianer future. Their altruism knows no bounds. Actually, it knows no existence. But why quibble.

They sure clean up nice

Here’s what Artificial Donnie had to say after his secret meeting with lords of the Ais

“There’s a belief that there should be tremendous self-regulation, and we automatically have regulation with the Department of Justice, the FBI, all of that.”*

“But the self-regulation is very important.”**

“I’m seeing tremendous self-policing, and they understand that they have to self-police.”***

Yeah, that’s what we all want. A bunch of greedy, power-hungry, socially-disabled uber-nerds with trillions of dollars-worth of conflicts of interest overseeing themselves as they dismantle society and humanity itself.

Tweety Turd posted this on his failed Twitter knock-off site

He didn’t name it Trump Intelligence because even he knows there’s no such thing

Not to be impertinent, but fuck that Super Shit. We have the best idea for what to call the new super, artificial threat to the survival of humanity: Alternative Intelligence. This will be very strongly and powerfully accepted. Everyone knows this. And anyone who doesn’t agree with this can call it something else. Anything but Super Intelligence.

But wait, there’s more…

Not only that, but AI megalomaniac and international man-about-neo-Nazis Elon Murk is part of Piss-Drunk Pete Hegseth’s new Trimuverats at the Pentagon – and Pete is not hiring these clods-in-creeps’-clothing to work in his Pentagon make-up suite. 

Some goofy guy, Newt Gingrich and Elon Murk, reporting for Petey

These three nitwit misfits are going to be Hegseth’s top consultants on actual military issues. They will surely end Trump’s Iran war…or kill us trying. They will not however interfere in any way with Donnie’s war against America. We’ll have to do that for ourselves.

One More Thing

Let us not forget about the

Donald Trump Memorial Jeffrey Epstein Files

They’re still out these…we think.

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*Said the guy who’s been making a fortune from being president, which many people believe is illegal.
**Said the guy with least amount of self-control in the history of humankind, who is completely unregulated.
***Said the guy who doesn’t understand anything whatsoever.

I. Mangrey reporting. You got a better idea?

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day

Just Had To Share

October 12, 2026

From Marty Two Bulls...

Yeah, what he said.

Arschloch* Of The Day – Piss-Drunk Pete

Suck Heil

October 12, 2026

If you have not yet witnessed Secretary of Failed War, Hairgel, and Monumental Macho Stupidity’s new Nazi-themed logo, here’s your big chance to be nauseated.

In case you need more context…

And inspiration for Putrid Pete

These Nazi-loving fascist fucks have got to go.

VOTE!

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*German for Asshole.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Arschloch Of The Day.

Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

Uncle Festering Speaks

October 11, 2026

“Then I found out that they impeached me twice, and I certainly, even to this moment, I can do whatever I want if I want.”
                          Don Trump, October 7, 2026

This POtuS can’t even say what he says he says the right way the right way. Even if he wants to want to.

And wait – “Then I found out that they impeached me twice.” Huh? You found out? How did you find out? Did someone write you a note on your toilet paper? When did you find out? Last week? Yesterday? Did Nurse Natalie draw you a picture?

Also, Donald “Death-To-America” Trump is not giving up on the Nobel Peace Prize and is making what could be his biggest claim yet on why he believes he deserves the honor.

Trump does deserve the No Balls Putz Prize

“There’s never been anybody in the history of the Nobel Prize that deserves it more,” Trump said. “I settled eight wars. I stopped the total obliteration of the world because Iran will never have a nuclear weapon.”

Never is a long time. Especially since Mr. Peace Prize has made it imperative that Iran protect itself from the only country to ever deploy such a weapon, the same country whose completely insane and wantonly violent leader repeatedly threatens to annihilate Iran.

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*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four years. Sorry.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.

PLEASE DON’T LOOK AWAY

Demented Don Doing Disastrous Damage Daily

October 10, 2026

I’ll bet that when you drive past a traffic accident you look to see what happened, especially if you’re in the passenger seat, but probably even if you’re driving. Donald Trump has driven a metaphorical semi filled with explosives (think Timothy McVeigh – the very white Oklahoma City bomber that killed 168 innocent people including women and children) straight into the heart of our democracy, not to mention our economy, social fabric and standing in the world, which are all currently in flames on the side of the road, so

PLEASE DON’T LOOK AWAY

I know this is all incredibly painful to attend to. So much. So often. So sickening.

              PLEASE DON’T LOOK AWAY

I know you can’t take the constant insanity, now with more executions. I know you need to think about something else. Cat videos. Kenny G. Rent-A-Coma. Take some you-time for sure. Do nice things for yourself and others. Think some happy thoughts, but

                            PLEASE DON’T LOOK AWAY

You owe it to yourself, we owe it to each other to not look away. Especially not now as Trump is pulling out all the stops in order to disrupt the midterm elections, elections which could very well throw a monkey wrench in the gears of destruction currently grinding our democracy to a halt. Election Day is less than one month away.

If you have been avoiding watching the horror, I get it. Self-preservation is important. But now it is time to venture back out into the darkness and help bring the light back. Everything is literally at stake. Our freedom, our health, the long-standing international order (yes, it could be worse), our planet. It is literally now or never.

                                           PLEASE DON’T LOOK AWAY

Or else, this

We must bear witness to the unbearable. And then beat it to a pulp.

Mario Savio 1964

I. Mangrey reporting. And paying attention.