Pic Of The Day – Killing Us Not-So-Softly

The Kill Is Coming From Inside The (Remains Of The White) House

April 11, 2026

“Hair” Mousse-olini

“Mr. president, sir, can you tell us what you consider to be the greatest threat to America?”

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.

Broken Noise – Lady Lie

*

That’s Why The Lady Is A Trump

April 10, 2026

Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump launched his illegal, ill-advised, ill-conceived, unprovoked and ultimately disastrous excursion incursion war against Iran and the rest of the world in no small part to distract from his ubiquitous presence in the

Donald trump memorial Epstein files

and perhaps to use the way the Artemis II space capsule used the Moon – to slingshot them back toward the Earth – to slingshot his drain-swirling political status toward holding Congress in the November election.

Funny story: Trump’s former “escort”, then mistress, then wife/fellow grifter Melania, who after all these years in America still can barely speak the language (though to be fair, she does rival Imelda Marcos for number of shoes), and speaks publicly about as often as long-time mime Clarence Thomas, decided, out of nowhere, to deny any “relationship with Epstein or his accomplice Maxwell”. The latter referred to Trump’s third wife as “Sweet Pea” in an email exchange during which the future Mrs. Trump signed off “Love, Melania”.

Are the Trumps now using the

Donald trump memorial Epstein files

to distract everyone from the pathetic “foot-shot” as one retired general described Trump’s pathetic Operation Epic Failure, which left the formerly free and open Strait of Hormuz under the total and absolute control of Iran? And from the fact that the replacement of the Supreme Leader of Iran that Trump killed – that son-of-an-Ayatollah – is more of a hardliner than his father and still in possession of all the nuclear material he had before Trump’s failed attack? Well done, sir.

Inquiring minds don’t give a flying fuck; just get these two sociopathic criminals out of the Remains of The White House before it and this nation fall into ruins. After this disgraceful war, it will take Iran decades to rebuild their physical infrastructure, while America will take decades to rebuild our reputation, our Constitution and our democracy.

One other note: Melania’s pre-emptive mea culpa regarding her relationship with Epstein, who by third-party accounts introduced the then-married/cheating Trump to his next wife, is about as believable as her husband’s claim that gas prices are going down very quickly. Or that he defeated Iran (he defeated America).

Sing along with me…

The wheels on the bus are falling off, falling off, falling off,
the wheels on the bus are falling off, all the live-long day.

Just for the record, Mrs. Jeffrey Epstein Trump is far and away the most unpopular first lady in history. She is truly the Worst Lady. Here are the numbers.

Stay tuned for further lies, distractions and treason from the Worst Couple.

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*Hey Melania, this bird’s for you! Thank you (and fuck you) for your attention to this matter.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken Noise report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled schadenfreude.

Thought For The Day – Inconceivable

I. Nigo Montoya

April 9, 2026

It’s official. Donald “Death-To-America” Trump is a war criminal. Threatening to blow up power plants, water treatment plants and bridges is a war crime. Threatening genocide against a population, while not anything new in the history of the American government, is a war crime. Backing down from insane threats like those just described, does not negate the commission of the war crimes being threatened. Oh, and blowing up a girl’s school is a war crime – Trump did that on the first day of his illegal war.

By the way, Dry-Drunk Hegseth bellowing about showing “no mercy, no quarter” against enemies in war is also intent to commit a war crime.

Trump’s actions are now on our permanent record. There is no way of telling how long it will take to rebuild America’s reputation, however problematic it might have been before it (I hesitate to use the personal pronoun “we” since most of us did not vote for this sociopathic shit weasel) elected an absolute monster who is killing this country.

To be fair, Donald Trump is not Hitler… he just wants to be.

WARNING: SATIRE

Hello, my name is I. Nigo Montoya. You killed my country. Prepare to die.

Donald, you keep using words. I do not think

you know what the fuck you are talking about.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Another Dead Deadline

April 8, 2026

What a non-surprise. Another Trump fake deadline has come and gone. Only time will tell how much of his excuse for chickening out on his threatened genocide in Iran has anything to do with reality. All we know for sure is that Trump caved and tossed us another “two-week” wait-and-fucking-see.

The banner above, like its predecessor hoisted so very wrongly and stupidly by the former worst president in American history George WTF Bush, completely misses the mark. Donald “Death-To-America” Trump’s “excursion” into Iran accomplished less than nothing. It has left the world worse off by giving Iran what they would likely never have gotten without this insane escapade perpetrated by an American madman. The wholly unchanged regime (except for the new regime being even worse than the one Trump bombed away) in Iran has rightly claimed victory in a war they did not start and did not provoke. They now control the Strait of Hormuz, which was not the case prior to what historians will call Trump’s Fucking Folly.

Trump’s ballistic buffoonery has also left a permanent Grand-Canyon-sized scar on this nation’s history – an American president has threatened “a whole civilization will die tonight”.

This stupid war was in no small part meant to distract the American public from the

Donald trump memorial Epstein files

but it harkens back to old joke that in order to take one’s mind off of a pounding headache a friend would stomp on his foot. In this case, in order to take America’s mind off the

Donald trump memorial Epstein files

headache, Trump, instead of stomping on our foot, caused America to have a massive heart attack.

We here at Paying Attention join most of America and even more of the rest of the world in saying

Fuck you Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump, and the whores you rode in on.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

 

Letter To The Predator

April 7, 2026

Donald “Death-To-America-And-Potentially-Everyone-Else” Trump’s ultimatum for Iran is up in about 90 minutes, so by the time you read this we could all be dead. Or wishing we were.

Don Trump, September 14, 2025 “Liberation Day”

Dear Don:

Funny story – hardly anybody likes you Donald. And most people who say they do are just using you like the tool you are.

And it's not just the vast majority of Americans who hate your putrid, rotting guts. Most people all over the world think you are not just shit, but a fifty-gallon drum of bloody diarrhea. Canada, one of the nicest countries on the plant, despises you. Greenland and Denmark think you are a psychotic fucking asshole - but only because you are. All the people across the globe who depended on the USAID program for food and medical assistance, the ones who have not already died thanks to you, want you to go away to a farm upstate. All of Europe wants you gone for aiding and abetting Putin's attempted march through Ukraine to get to Europe.

And let us not forget the people of Iran, most of whom, like most of us, despise their current leadership, and who you in your infinite bullshit claimed to care about before and during your unprovoked, illegal and senseless bombing of their country, and now your threat to wipe them all out of existence croaking that “a whole civilization will die tonight”. Way to win hearts and minds ya big dumb fuck. What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Are you planning to use a nuke? Are you out of your tiny, disintegrating mind? Do you even know what a 'civilization' is?

For the record, civilized people are opposed to the war crimes you are planning to commit tonight. You are not well. You never were, but now you have crossed every line that has ever been drawn. If you follow through on this threat, we will all pay the price for a very long time.

You need help. The kind of help that only a mortician can provide.

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*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four years. Sorry.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.

Thought For The Day – Trump v. Iran (And America)

Suicide To America*

April 7, 2026

Not only is Trump waging war on Iran, with no plan, no preparation and no reason, he is simultaneously waging war on America. Trump and his farting monkeys, in the lead-up to whittling our munitions and military equipment down to nothing, spent their time gutting every aspect of our military intelligence (to be fair, this administration despises intelligence of any kind), our cyber-defense, the security of all military bases within easy striking distance of Iran’s missiles, and many other aspects of military readiness. We should probably be grateful Trump is not actively bombing Washington, DC...yet. He's saving that for the election.

Now, I am not a big fan of the military or what they are used for, but I’ll be the first to admit that it might be a good idea to have the best military possible when a rogue American, let’s call it president, declares war on a country that already sponsors more terrorist organizations than any other, starts bombing the living shit out of that country, threatens that country’s very existence and disrespects the deity of their incredibly humorless religion.

Just sayin’.

“I am ready to do war crimes like nobody has ever seen before.”

Traitor Trump and Hiccup Hegseth are planning to send even more of our fellow Americans into harm’s way in the Middle East, having already moved 50,000 into the region. You can be sure that when they march into Tehran they will be greeted as liver haters.

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*The death threat to America is coming from inside the house…the White House, that is.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
We beg your pardon, we never promised you a paved-over Rose Garden.

Pic Of The Day – Strait News

Udder Nonsense   

April 6, 2026

As of this moment, America’s syphilitic douchebag of a president has given Iran less than 24 hours to live – threatening to blow up power plants and bridges and send them “back to the Stone Age” at 8:00 PM Eastern if Iran does not re-open the Strait of Hormuz, which Trump likely believes has something to do with bovine prostitutes.

Trump was overheard whining to JD Vance, “I don't know why everyone keeps going on about whore moos. I was nowhere near that cow. She's not even my type - a six, at best. I don't even do cows. Plus, I paid her. And I’m more of a sheep guy.”

Thanks to the fine folks at South Park for providing this priceless image.*

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*When a Democrat is elected president, if we have elections again, he or she should replace Trump’s official portrait with this image.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day. 

Thought For The Day – Twitter Excursion

War Of Words…And Bombs

April 6, 2026

Not giving a single shit about distracting the American people from the

Donald trump memorial EPSTEIN FILES^*

the Iranian government showed the world they are not afraid of Donald Trump, instead choosing to troll the Troll King

As utterly despicable as the Iran regime is (just ask the majority of Iranian citizens) they ain’t stupid and clearly know how to get under the very thin skin of the very thick skull of the very dense dipshit who attacked them for no good reason, immediately claimed victory and is now getting his voluminous ass handed to him, while attempting to start World War III.

Which only goes to show, you can take the shit out of the asshole, but you can’t take the asshole out of the shit storm he pooped out.

Don’s Easter message of peace and love

There’s no faster way to end up on the wrong end of a bone-saw than to disrespect Allah. I hope the Iranian regime cares as much about the safety and freedom of the American people as Trump does about the Iranians. Oops.

Iran’s immediate response to the above psychopathic missive was to bomb the Israeli city of Haifa. We can expect much more of the same as Iran avoids a direct attack on the United States (for now, until Der Furor pushes them too far…which could be any minute now, but probably not before Tuesday or maybe in weeks) preferring instead to go after less direct targets like Israel and other U.S. allies in the region.

And Iran also responded with this…

Good times, people, good times

The Trump Era is full of things I never thought I would hear myself say. Here is the latest: I agree with Iran.

Former rabid Trump loving loony bird Marjorie Taylor Greene had this to say in response to Trump's latest most unhinged thing ever...

And here's one more thing I never thought I would hear myself say: I agree with Marjorie Taylor Greene.

We are in the dumbest possible timeline. We have the dumbest possible dictator. Hitler at least had a plan.

You’d think this fucking idiot would have learned after he and Dry-Drunk Pete publicly, arrogantly and pathetically insisted (i.e., lied) that Iran’s military was so obliterated that they could not retaliate in any way. And then, the next day Iran shot down two military jets and damaged other aircraft, leaving one crew member stranded in the mountains of Iran for 36 hours until he was finally rescued before being captured.

What would your next move be?

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*Man, whatever is in those files must really be bad for old Fartenstein, because his flying monkeys are really working their little tails off trying to figure out how to protect him from letting the public in on it.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
We never said it would be pretty.

Question For The Day – Scared Strait

Trump: Hairman Of The Bored

April 5, 2026

Remember all the ballyhoo around one of Donald “Death-To-America” Trump’s many pre-Iran-excursion/massive defeat Epstein File distractions – the Bored of Peace? It might very well have slipped your mind.

Trump’s dream team of dictators, tyrants and dipshits

It sure seems to have slipped his mind once Trump – who is chairman-for-life-who-has-sole-power-to-pick-his-successor – collected his billion-dollar-entry-fee from all the top nations

Big, strong nations, tears in their eyes, begging, “Sir, will you take our money?”

Naturally all funds collected are the property of one Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump. It seems once Trump collected his tribute money he forgot all about his new super group. Presumably it still exists, and in Trump’s feeble, diseased mind it has replaced NATO if not the United Nations.

So…

Today’s Question For The Day:

Why isn’t Trump’s all-powerful, big, beautiful Bored of Peace stepping in to solve their boss’ illegal disastrous loss in Iran: Now with more war crimes?

One would think this austere body would be sending ships and troops and more money to keep the vital Strait of Hormuz open to the world. Sure, it was totally open before Trump unnecessarily bombed the shit out of Iran and would have remained open. But we are where we are and it is clearly up to the Bored of Peace to save the day.

Bonus Question:

If we can’t count on the mighty Bored of Peace what will become of us?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.