How
Original?
April 2, 2026
The Supreme
Trump Court is poised to decide on the constitutionality of the Fourteenth
Amendment, which coincidentally is in the Constitution. So, that’s that. Right?
They also have in their democracy-strangling hands the issue of mail-in voting.
Allegedly
brilliant, objectively hypocritical and dishonest, and currently dead Supreme
Court justice Antonin Scalia spent his years on the high court hiding behind
his pathetically transparent veil of what he called “originalism”. This was
intended to make anyone who disagreed with Scalia cower. This self-important
gasbag insisted that he knew what every word in the Constitution penned by the
founders meant – then and now. This, despite the fact that 1) the founders
routinely disagreed with each other as they worked toward countless compromises
– something unheard of today – and, 2) not infrequently many of them disagreed
with themselves over time.
Funny thing
though, to Scalia and his fellow travelers there is no such thing as now when
it comes to the Constitution. There is only then – when it was framed – and the
words were immutable for all time…except when these “originalists” wanted to
drastically change what the founders most likely meant in order to suit their
own, almost always increasingly anti-democratic purposes. Despite the founders’
understanding that times might change and then so too might the Constitution.
And times have indeed changed, as has the Constitution. Long before Antonin
Scalia did not just become part of another spot on the wet side of the bed.
Even if Scalia
had some claim to the time machine that does not exist, there have been
amendments over the years, not the least of which abolished a little thing allowed
and excused (at least) in the original Constitution called slavery. And then
another slight ‘oversight’ – allowing women to vote, which took over half a
century longer to rectify than the abolition of slavery.
Let us, for
the sake of argument (and reality) agree that this originalism bullshit is
bullshit.
For better or
worse – actually, for much worse – there’s a new bunch of originalists in town.
However, these treacherous cretins have added a new twist. An amendment to
originalism if you will. This is neo-originalism. I know what you’re thinking:
neo-originalism as a concept makes no fucking sense whatsoever and smells like
even shittier, more Orwellian bullshit than the original originalist bullshit.
You my friend
have an excellent sense of smell.
Full Speed
Ahead Into The Past
These hyper-partisan,
activist neo-originalists and their ilk have found it necessary to throw the
law, the Constitution and this nation into full reverse while looking straight
ahead, unconcerned with the possibility, in fact the great likelihood that some
unseen, un-looked-for and extremely volatile obstruction sits in wait for the
inevitable impact. Either that, or the cliff overlooking the abyss.
For most of
this nation’s history, changes to the Constitution, and laws in general were
heavily weighted toward expanding rights and freedoms. Kiss that shit good-bye.
As we see with
the Court’s latest in an ever-increasing poisonous smorgasbord of
anti-democratic decisions to neo-originalize the Fourteenth Amendment’s birthright
citizenship, and to further degrade voting rights, these classless clowns know
no bounds. There is also a worryingly non-zero chance that what is now a
lengthy chain of horrific decisions is aiming straight for the two-term
limitation on the presidency codified in the Twenty-second Amendment. Watch
your back democracy.
Just a
spoonful of mendacity (and a rogue, criminal Supreme Court) forces the medicine
down. That and Scalia’s long-time-mime sidekick Clarence “Uncle” Thomas and his
partner in crime – literally – Sammy “The Shitman” Alito.
For the moment, most Court watchers seem convinced that there will be a lopsided decision to not fuck with the Fourteenth Amendment, even after Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump showed up to glare at the justices and attempt to intimidate them into further fucking the Constitution into the ground, while his hand-picked attorney argued the case as stupidly as humanly possible. After wheezing a statement made by filthy pig Alito that compared to the 19th century, when the Fourteenth Amendment was ratified, “we’re in a new world now”, Chief racist…I mean, Justice John Roberts replied, “Well, it’s a new world. It’s the same Constitution.” To which I must reply, “Since when?” and “Okay, that’s one for our side. It’s about fucking time.”
With great
originality and originalism, of course.
I. Mangrey reporting. Now with more angst.
