Monday, March 9, 2026

Tragical Misery Tour

Hope For The Best, Expect The Worst

March 9, 2026

While Trump puts Americans in America at significant risk for another 9/11* or maybe just a bunch of smaller ones, not to mention the fact that Iran has a peerless cyberwar capability, the Fascist/Trump/Epstein administration continues to reduce our ability to monitor, prevent or even respond to whatever is surely coming next.

Trump has gutted FEMA, he has gutted the intelligence of the intelligence community, especially cyber security. Our standing in the world is the lowest in our history; our allies cannot trust us, or trust that we will not turn on them. Trump has gutted our diplomatic corps; we have very few Senate-confirmed ambassadors in the Middle East. Trump’s stupid, illegal, unprovoked and unnecessary* war is rapidly depleting our supply of military weapons, though ICE has all the guns and ammo they need. 

Russia and China are chomping at the bit to take advantage of our weakened, unprepared state to do whatever they want on the world stage. They are intent on finishing their purge of anyone with a brain or historical knowledge of how things work and happen.


Donny Dickhead having a good laugh about his war

This administration is much better prepared to kill American citizens than it is to protect us. And the former five-time draft dodger seems bent on depleting our troops, as he repeatedly teases sending them into harm’s way, as his shock-and-awe morphs into shucks-and-oops. To Trump it’s all just a video game he just watches, without even touching his joystick. The only thing that hasn’t been gutted is Trump. His gut is getting bigger and is doing all his decision-making.

Not to mention that Iranians, particularly those who have been in power since the last asshole we picked to run that country was overthrown in 1979, have very long memories. Longer than we or anyone any of us has ever known have been alive. Trump will be dead soon, certainly sooner than the expiration date on the Iranian revenge that is brewing, but clearly, not soon enough. Naturally, we all wish him the best health he deserves.

Coincident with Trump’s attack on Iran, this from Thom Hartmann, who sees a scenario similar to 2001 and the failing presidency of George WTF Bush in the run-up to the 9/11 attacks that conveniently catapulted his failing poll numbers from the thirties into the nineties.

“Kash Patel, Trump’s FBI director, has fired or reassigned almost the entire FBI team responsible for tracking Iranian threats inside the United States. The specialists who spent years building intelligence networks to monitor Iranian-linked operatives on American soil have been purged from the agency, fired unceremoniously…

Ask yourself why. Why would a president who just bombed Iran simultaneously gut the very intelligence infrastructure built by previous administrations to detect and prevent Iranian retaliation? Why would you poke a hornet’s nest and then fire the guy with the EpiPen?

Unless you wanted to get stung…

This is not some wacky conspiracy theory: it’s simply pattern recognition.”

When asked about the risk of attacks on home soil, Der Furor croaked**

“I guess. But I think they’re worried about that all the time. We think about it all the time. We plan for it. But yeah, you know, we expect some things. Like I said, some people will die. When you go to war, some people will die.”
                   Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump, March 6, 2026

Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and dead inside knowing that our dear president won’t lose any sleep-during-meetings over this.

We are, as the French say, fucked.

KIA so far: 8

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*Possibly on purpose in order to declare a national emergency to head off the midterm elections and/or save his tanking popularity.
**If only.

 I. Mangrey reporting.

Sunday, March 8, 2026

Headline Of The Day – A Reverse Dangerfield

He Gives No Respect

March 8, 2026


What’s with the lame fucking baseball hat, asshole?
And do you an JD have broken necks and can't bow your fat heads?

Leave it to old “Suckers-and-Losers” Donald to undignify the Dignified Transfer of the soldiers he caused to be dead. Imagine, one day this POtuS will be buried in a flag-draped coffin after lying in state in the Capitol Rotunda. If we’re lucky, he’ll insist on switching the ceremony to Mor-on-Lago so he can make money off the real suckers and losers who attend. Either way, the basic idea is a winner.

KIA so far: 7

This has been your Paying Attention™ Headline Of The Day.

Broken Hearts – All Folks Must Pass

So Long And Thanks For All The Fucks

March 8, 2026


Country Joe McDonald, R.I.P.

A great American patriot, singer and songwriter known to most as Country Joe McDonald has left us. Country Joe died yesterday at the age of 84. Country Joe and the Fish burst onto the scene after their appearance at the Woodstock Music and Arts Festival in Bethel, New York in 1969. The most memorable song came during Joe’s solo set. It was his beloved Feel-Like-I’m-Fixin’-To-Die-Rag.

An early Vietnam vet, Joe sang about the war, those who served and about environmental issues throughout his long career.

Take a few minutes and sing along with Country Joe and the largest crowd in music history

Country Joe McDonald, Woodstock, August 16, 1969
I-Feel-Like-I’m-Fixin’-To-Die-Rag

Country Joe McDonald – Save The Whales!

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News Hearts report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled life. 

Radio WTAF – Happy International Women's Day

Here For The Ladies


Ariel Baddass back on the air

Hey ladies and germs – no offense – I decided to take a chance and sneak into the studio to spin some tunes while everyone is distracted by the war and the better-late-than-never departure of Killer Kristi. She’s off the head up a brand-new, non-existent, I want to say department? Squad? Book club? Mirage? Whatever. Good riddance. Oh, and who could forget the Epstein Files. Cough 'em up Donny boy.

There is so much shit hitting so many fans it’s hard to catch one’s breath these days. I’ve been hiding out, and will resume doing so until it’s safe to walk the streets again. Hopefully, you’re getting ready for NO KINGS 3.0 coming up soon – on March 28th – I might sneak out for that one.

 For now, we are taking a break from Trump’s toxic testosterone-tainted tragedy tour to celebrate International Women’s Day and Women’s History Month. We hope you enjoy this musical interlude, and a few deep breaths while we await the next worst thing ever from our inestimable Pecker-in-chief. What will he not bother thinking, but doing anyway next?


Sarah McLachlan – Building A Mystery


Bonnie Raitt – Love Me Like a Man

Here’s a lady – one of the best and least-known jazz pianist of all time


Jessica Williams – Cheesecake

And here’s whole bunch of amazing young ladies you probably don’t know


Jazz Avengers – #1 J-Funk

Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves

Okay, what celebration of the fairer, smarter, stronger sex would be complete without raking the old pussy-grabbing rapist over the coals a bit…

Paula Poundstone

Have a great day.

Saturday, March 7, 2026

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk

The Eyeless Leading The Blind

When we last met – and it seems like only yesterday, or maybe today, who can even tell anymore – we were talking about entitlement. Specifically, Trump’s imagined entitlement to run for a totally unconstitutional third (or as Trump likes to delude himself, fourth) term. No! Bad dog!

Trump’s Motto (which only applies to himself): Take what you need and take the rest.

Don is also not entitled to have any say as to Iran’s next leader. What does he think this is Celebrity Ayatollah? America’s Next Ayatollah? 

“You’re the new Ayatollah!” 

Trump said his main concern was freedom for the Iranian people, and that he wanted to make Iran a “safe” place. Then this happened over the course of a few days…

“Our objective is to defend the American people by eliminating imminent threats from the Iranian regime.”
                                   Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump

“Iran does pose an imminent and direct threat to the United States.”    
                   Remains of the White House spokes-liar Karoline Levitt      

“This is not a so-called regime-change war.”
                     War-fighting war fighter in make-up Pete Hegseth

“We had to remove a murderous regime.”
                       Soon-to-be-DHS secretary Markwayne Mullin

“This isn’t about regime change.”
                       Soon-to-be-DHS secretary Markwayne Mullin

“Iran can’t have a nuclear weapon, that would be a military objective.”  
                               #1 Trump fellater JD Vance

“We knew that there was going to be an Israeli action.”
                           Secretary of Spineless Marco Rubio

“No, I might have forced their hand.”
                               Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump

“If we didn’t win, within two weeks they would have had a nuclear weapon.”
              Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump (Ah, the old “two-week” gambit.)

“We’re not at war right now.”
                              Squeaker of the House Mike Johnson

“We didn’t start this war.”
                                 Holy war enthusiast Pete Hegseth

“This isn’t a war. We’re not at war with Iran.”
                        Soon-to-be-DHS secretary Markwayne Mullin
                       (to be fair, Mullin said “that was a misspoke”)

“I needed a war to distract everyone from my neck-deep involvement with Jeffrey Epstein, my grifting, my disastrous economy, the murderous ICE
agents doing what I asked, and my historically bad poll numbers.”

                                         The god’s honest truth

“As it turns out, Donald Trump poses an imminent and direct threat to the United States. He is already in possession of nuclear weapons. We did not start this war, but we damn well need to finish it. It is time for regime change.

                              I. Mangrey, democracy enthusiast

Trump regretfully prepares to pull himself away from critical meeting on college athletes to deal with less important nonsense that makes him laugh…

“I have to go back and look at the war.”

Der Furor was upset at a Fux Noos reporter for asking “stupid question” about Russia providing targeting intel to Iran, which Trump said was “much easier” than dealing with the issue at hand – pay for college athletes. Especially since Trump had to take time away from even more important issues like golfing and staring out the window imagining his big, beautiful Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom.

Many people are saying Trump is incapable of forming a coherent strategy, as evidenced above. Well, yeah, he is incapable of forming a coherent sentence.

Whatever bullshit fucking excuse he or his pathetic posse poses post-emptively, Trump has launched his war with Iran having absolutely no plan for the afterlife…I mean, aftermath.

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*Pretty impressive considering Donny Boy said he obliterated their entire program just a few months ago.

I. Mangrey reporting. I'll see myself out.

Thought For The Day – End Entitlements

He Only Wants What’s Ours

March 7, 2026

The Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party, even when they called themselves the Republican Party, have consistently whined about what they call entitlements – Social Security, Medicare, Welfare (except for major corporations like Exxon, et al), Food Stamps, and the like. They somehow do not consider repeated, completely unnecessary and socially and economically toxic tax cuts for the richest among us (who all got rich off our backs) to be entitlements.

Trump obviously and unabashedly wants to be a dictator. He idolizes Putin, Xi, Kim, Orban, and the like. He cannot tolerate not getting his way. There is almost no one who believes himself to be more entitled than the long-past-his-expiration-date, very nearly dead Norwegian Orange parrot…I mean, president.

“Maybe we do one more term. Should we do one more. Do one more term. Well, we are entitled to it.”

Memo to Trump:

You are entitled to shut the fuck up. We are entitled to have you shut the fuck up.

While I have your attention to this matter, you should also know that you were not totally, partially or even just a teeny, tiny bit exonerated of your massive presence, now with more sexual-assault-on-a-minor allegations, in the

Donald Trump Memorial EPSTEIN FILES*

Don, you are not entitled to a third term. You are not technically entitled to keep making billions of dollars because of your position. And you are not entitled to disrupt our elections by miring us in your war, whatever reason you or your mentally defective minions might have thrown against the wall in the past week. More on that next time.

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*Man, whatever is in those files must really be bad for old Fartenstein, because his flying monkeys are really working their little tails off trying to figure out how to protect him from letting the public in on it. And now he has started a full-on war to keep the worst of it hidden.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
Try not to think about it too much.

Friday, March 6, 2026

Headline Of The Day – OMFG

Donald Trump: International Man Of Misery   

March 6, 2026

Not to beat a dead president, but what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Every time he opens his face sphincter he says the most insane thing you’ve ever heard. Why aren’t those nice young men in their clean white coats coming to take him away? And where the fuck are those 

Donald Trump Memorial Epstein Files ?

10cc – I Wanna Rule The World

This has been your Paying Attention™ Headline Of The Day. 

Broken News un-Shocking UPDATE – He Lied, She Lied

No One Could Have Not Known

March 6, 2026

In one of the least shocking updates in Broken News history, Paying Attention™ has learned that Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump did in fact not only approve of Noem’s $200-million-dollar ad campaign, it was his (probably Stephen Miller’s) idea. Homeland Security Secretary said he instructed her to make ads that “thank me for closing the border.” Noem proudly disclosed this in public at last year’s CPAP – Conservative Pimps And Prostitutes (or something) – gathering.

Noem described how Trump said he didn’t want to be in the ads himself. According to Noem his idea was, “I want you in the ads, and I want your face in the ads … but I want the first ad, I want you to thank me. I want you to thank me for closing the border.”

It is sadly predictable that most of the media immediately believed Trump’s denial that he knew anything about the ads. Don’t get me wrong, it is proven fact that Kristi Noem is a sleazy, self-promoting, lying sack of shit. But, it is even more certain than the Sun rising in the east and setting in the west every single day, without fail – at least until our Solar System ceases to be – that every single word out of Trump’s foul-smelling, decaying, sphincter-like-mouth is more full of shit than one of his mid-day diapers.

   Mr. President, you loaded-diaper-pussy-grabber       Kristi, you ignorant slut

The smart money is on somehow both of them lying.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Broken News un-Shocking UPDATE.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled arts and crafts. 

Noem Fries

Bye, Bye Murdery

March 6, 2026

Trump has fired Kristi Noem, who faithfully carried out Trump’s campaign of terror and murder on the streets of America. Before getting fired, she was fried and fricasseed by a parade of Dems on the House Judiciary Committee. She was not fired because agents from her department executed Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti, or because she called these two completely innocent American citizens “domestic terrorists” after they were killed. 

It is possible that Noem was removed because (probably among many other things) she lied under oath about Trump approving a $200M ad campaign featuring and promoting herself, OR, because she told the truth about Trump approving the ads and Trump threw her under the bus by lying that he did not approve the expenses. Also, Noem was too often pulling the cameras away from Der Leader. Lucky for Cricket...I mean Kristi, Trump didn't have her taken out to the gravel pit and shot.

The Best And The Blightest 

Noem will be replaced by someone, if this is actually possible, though clearly it seems to be, considerably dumber, yet equally devoid of any pertinent experience other than a seemingly endless supply of Trump ass-kissing. That special someone is Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK). Mullin talks as though he has served in the military; he never did. Before soiling the halls of Congress he was a plumber and a mixed martial arts fighter. Mullin challenged Teamsters president Sean O’Brien to fight during a 2023 Senate hearing. Mullin literally popped up out of his seat, believing he had the legal right to assault the witness. The senator has of late been battling with the likes of John Kennedy, Tommy Tuberville, Ron Johnson and Lindsey Graham for dumbest fuck in the United States Senate.


Mullin – squinting because absolutely everything is too bright for him

Presumably, based on the giddy excitement Dumb Donald experienced at receiving the completely made-up-just-for-him FIFA Peace Prize, just weeks before starting World War III – the ultimate in FIFA peace prizing, or what FIFA denizens might refer to as an ‘own goal’ – Donald made up a whole new department for Noem to head up so both of them can paint this as a promotion, as opposed to the unmitigated failure Noem has been. And no, this new, imaginary position is not National Dog Catcher/Killer. It is something called Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas. Whatever. The. Fuck. That. Is.


Rep. Jared Moskowitz*

As Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-FL) explained, Kristi Noem, who Moskowitz described as the worst secretary of Homeland Security since its inception after 9/11, “literally took the president’s core issue on immigration, which he was polling at sixty percent in September, and got that down to thirty-nine percent. She exceeded all expectations on doing that by having two Americans shot, one in the face and one in the back under her leadership.” Moskowitz went on describing how Noem has destroyed FEMA and perpetrated untold corruption during her tenure.

Surely, Mullin can bring that thirty-nine percent down to single digits in no time.  

Mullin, during a recent press gaggle outside the Capitol, referred to Trump’s war in Iran as a “war”. He insisted it was others, not he, who called it a war. A reporter immediately reminded – or more likely made Mullin aware for the first time – that he had just referred to the war as a “war”. Mullin said it must have been “a misspoke”.

I rest my case.

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*Cricket was Noem’s dog that she bragged about shooting to death for being a dog.
 

I. Mangrey reporting. You're probably wondering why I'm here.