Toot Uncommon

Sleeping Tooty

May 10, 2024

Ex-president Snoozolini is napping and farting his way to a guilty verdict in The People of the State of New York v. Donald J. Trump. When he is not comatose, Trump is making his lawyers do incredibly stupid things.

King Butt did manage to stay awake while Stormy Daniels was testifying about her wham-bam-thank-me-ma’am encounter with Trump (which was probably even worse than being shot in the face by Dick Cheney) , which turned out to be a mistake since he was heard cursing and seen scowling and shaking his head (there is much speculation that he just enjoys the sound of his tiny sclerotic brain rattling around in his plasticine skull). Otherwise, Sleeping Tooty has been dozing off and passing gas while in court.

Secret, leaked video of Trump in the courtroom

Trump is spending most of his sleepy time in court dreaming of bleach enemas, “hamberders” and “covfefe” that he had “stollen” from school children. Oh, and of course, Ivanka. No one was surprised when they learned that when Trump says “Drill, baby drill” he’s referring to Ivanka.

Normally, Donny spends his days vigorously tweeting (or “truthing” as he Orwellianly calls it) bile and bullshit on his fascist-inundated, failing “social” media platform. He does this at all hours of the day and night. At least while he’s in court he can get some shuteye. And we can have a break from being assaulted by his constant ALL-CAPS CRAP 24/7.

To start the day a few days ago, Judge Juan Merchan found Trump guilty of nine violations of his gag order. Merchan found the defendant in contempt of everything including court and fined the faux-billionaire $1000 for each violation.

Merchan’s initial contempt order made it clear that he could and might send Trump to jail for continuing to violate the order. New York state law limits him to fining Trump $1,000 per violation. The judge maintained that such a small monetary amount “will not achieve the desired result in those instances where the contemnor can easily afford such a fine.”

Merchan added that while he would prefer to impose a fine “commensurate with the wealth” of the offender, he lacked that power and would “therefore consider whether in some instances, jail may be a necessary punishment.” Thirty days is the maximum sentence allowable for any one of these violations. Trump did not stop and was found in contempt again shortly thereafter, and only fined again.

Unfortunately, Merchan seems extremely hesitant to do what needs to be done with this recalcitrant bully of a defendant.

Hard To Get Hard After That

Anyway, it’s good to know that Defendant Trump was awake for this exchange:

Trump attorney: [Y]ou then decided you wanted to publicly say that you had sex with President [sic]Trump, right?

Stormy Daniels: No. Nobody would ever want to publicly say that.

Ouch.


I. Mangrey, dreaming a little dream.