What A Shame

May 3, 2024

WARNING: Not safe for work, home, prison or locker room. After you finish this you will probably ask yourself, “Why did I (me) do that?” My answer – because it’s there.

“If Ivanka weren’t my daughter perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Donald J. Trump, live on The View, 2015 

I hate to admit this, but I feel so bad for Mr. Trump. This entire tawdry, disgusting, indictable mess could have been avoided if only his beloved Ivanka would have had sex with her dear, loving father. After all, that’s all he has ever really wanted.

And it wasn’t for lack of trying:

Eww

Ewww

Ewwwww

WTFHP (Watch Those Fucking Hands Pops)

Donald probably would not have even had to pay Ivanka off for her silence, but if he did it could have been considered a gift to a family member. He could have avoided the whole financial fraud nonsense. And they could have lived happily ever after. Hopefully Daddy Dearest has learned his lesson – never sleep with a woman who is not your daughter.

For contrast, here is Donald with his third wife – you know, the one he was cheating on with Karen McDougal for a year, and later with Stormy Daniels for about five minutes

Adding insult to incestry, darling daughter Ivanka is nowhere to be seen in support of her loving father – no comments, no tweets, no op-eds, no-show in the courtroom. This, even though he fucked Stormy Daniels and Karem McDougal because they reminded him of Ivanka. According to both women, Trump said as much.  

In contrast, the parents of Jeffrey Dahmer were in the front row every single day of his trial. No family member of Trump's has showed up for one second as their patriarch languishes in a New York City courtroom.

Not Only That…

What a tragic irony. The one time Trump pays someone for something – in this case, paying Stormy Daniels for not doing something after having previously done something she didn’t get paid for, but Trump didn’t want anyone to know she and he did what they did (which Trump now denies he did) – it ends up with Trump as part of a criminal conspiracy. Our undercover, alternative sources overheard Trump say

You know, I've been stiffing people my whole life. But I never stiffed my daughter, though I sure thought about it a lot. I never paid anyone for anything - contractors, lawyers, doctors, women I grabbed by the pussy, you name it. The one time I pay someone, it comes right back, bites me in the ass, and I end up in court. Not only did I do nothing wrong, I finally did something right. You better believe that will never happen again.

Oh, the (lack of) humanity.

I. Mangrey reporting. Paging Dr. Schaden Freud.