Donald Trump - Guilty On All Thirty-Four Felony Counts

Partly Sunny With A Chance Of Jail Time

May 31, 2024

Donald Trump woke up around 4:30 PM yesterday in the apparently comfortable and soothing Manhattan courthouse where he has spent the past five weeks napping and farting on his way to 34 guilty verdicts. Before 4:30 PM on May 30, 2024, we had 46 American presidents totaling exactly zero felony convictions (only because Richard Nixon exited in disgrace in order to avoid his). In 34 blinks of an eye, American presidents now have an average of .74 felony convictions per president. All thanks to Trump. Heckuva job Trumpy.

Donald Trump is running for president against America. Trump is running against truth. He is running against justice. He is running against the American way. He is running   to dismantle our democracy, flawed though it may be. For my money, flawed is better than gone any day.

He is now very damaged goods. More than ever. The Fascist/Trump Party is preparing to officially hitch their wagon to a dead mule. Think Monty Python’s Dead Parrot Sketch.

All the usual suspects, who took time out of their stupid schedules to show up at the Manhattan courthouse and lend their support to the pre-convicted felon. All of them came out against the American justice system. They are calling – as the always do when things don’t go their way – the trial rigged. Marco Rubio called the verdict “a complete travesty that makes a mockery of our system of justice.”

Good luck getting your convicted felon elected president. May he fart on you every time you go near him. I hope he manages to stay awake during his upcoming debate with Joe Biden. And get ready to start whining about losing the election…oh wait, you started that long ago.

For now, let us look forward to the sentencing phase of the massive criminal conviction of the massive criminal who has just been found guilty of very likely ending up in the White House in no small part by illegally hoodwinking the American public.

Think positive

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.