Frack You
Deep In The
(Artificial) Heart of Texas
February 23,
2014
It’s not like I think they shouldn’t be allowed to marry or have
basic human rights or anything like that, but I have to admit there is a
minority group that really gets my dander up. I know, tolerance and acceptance
and respect should be afforded every minority, no matter how small or how much
they might annoy me. But these guys, and they are mostly guys, white guys in
fact, just don’t make me feel socially conscious. Their behavior shows utter
disrespect for the Bible and the teachings of Jesus. Yet they callously flaunt
their flamboyant lifestyles and demean anyone who doesn’t belong to their group.
They continually demand more and more of what they want and unendingly disregard the needs and feelings of others
who don't live like they do.
Hopefully you know what ‘fracking’ is. Hydraulic fracturing,
or fracking, involves the introduction of water, mixed with sand and highly
toxic chemicals, into sub-surface rock. The deadly mixture is injected into the
ground at very high pressure to facilitate the removal of more toxic substances
for the purpose of burning to suit our massive energy needs and to facilitate
the end of human life on this planet.
Of course there’s big money to be made by the already-too-rich-to-care
by the socially irresponsible, environmentally fatal, wanton extraction of the
finite resources we know we should stop using. But it’s always difficult
talking sense to an addict. Maybe you have heard of or seen some of the results
of fracking: the insane waste of water to squeeze out a few gallons of oil or natural
gas, the carcinogenic chemicals released into the environment causing cancer,
infertility and birth defects, the exponential increase in earthquakes, people
holding lighters to the water coming from their taps and watching the water
burst into flame. It probably hasn’t happened to you…yet.
This very special minority doesn’t want to ever have to
experience such inconveniences first-hand. Just like they would never let their
sons and daughters fight the wars they insist our country fights, they don’t
want this fracking happening where they can see it. These are the 1%. Take, for
example, Tea Party overlord and self-serving simp Dick Armey. This Dick is the
lead plaintiff in a lawsuit against allowing a water tower meant to supply
water for fracking, which he and his co-plaintiff’s all support with the utmost
vigor and greed. They just don’t support doing it anywhere near them.
The suit has been joined by Exxon Mobile CEO Rex Tillerson. The
plaintiffs contend that the project would create "a noise nuisance and
traffic hazards." Noise Nuisance and traffic hazards as we all know are
very bothersome and obvious whereas silly things like cancer, birth defects and
infertility could take years before they happen to anyone and are very hard to
prove scientifically. That is, assuming one believes in science for anything
other than extracting, selling and burning fossil fuels. The site of the
proposed 15-story tower is adjacent to Tillerson's 83-acre horse ranch and not
far from an 18-acre homestead. What if he found the noise bothersome? What if a
traffic hazard caused his Bentley to be scratched? Wouldn’t that be just too
terrible? How could we live with ourselves if such a dreadful thing occurred?
So yes, I admit that I harbor ill will toward these
upstanding job creators. Without them how would we manage to sustain so much
abject poverty? How would we eradicate the Middle Class? Who would carry on the
important work of trashing the environment? I know I'm being selfish by
pointing a finger at them in broad daylight. Maybe I just have an unnatural
attachment to the planet I live on.
I say: Let them eat cake…yellow cake…from Niger.
In Other News
The National Science Foundation surveyed more than 2,200
people in the United States and found that 26% think the Sun revolves around
the Earth.
I. Mangrey
reporting.
Thanks for listening. Responsible billionaires invited.
