How
Many Morons Can Dance On A Pinhead?
Land
of a Thousand Dunces
June 27, 2014
I am not a man of science, but I know one personally. Unlike
Republican’t politicians who insist that, because they are not scientists, science
does not exist, I am choosing to delve into the world of science, if only of
the political variety, to attempt to answer the age-old question: How many
morons can dance on a pinhead? Here goes nothing.
One?
“Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much
at the expense of so many.” Who said this and who were they talking about? Here
are a few hints. First, it’s two people who said this in an op ed in the Wall
Street Journal (owned by gazillionaire and international criminal Rupert
Murdoch). One of these people is essentially a nobody who, had it not been for
the family name, would be even less consequential than they are now, which
wouldn’t be easy. We will, in the name of science, ignore the child and focus
on the parent. The father in question told us things like, al Queda and Saddam
Hussein are working together and teamed up on 9/11, that Saddam was “amassing [WMD]
to use against our friends…and against us," and, in March of 2002, that
Hussein was “actively pursuing nuclear weapons.” He later said, "We do
know, with absolute certainty, that he is using his procurement system to
acquire the equipment he needs in order to enrich uranium to build a nuclear
weapon." This bag of hate and lies in human skin also told us, four days
before launching the war he had dreamed of for almost fifteen years, "I
really do believe that we will be greeted as liberators."
This is the same guy who outed a covert CIA operative,
possibly one of this country’s most valuable assets in the Middle East, for
revenge against her husband, who simply told the truth about one of the things our
Mystery Moron was lying to the American public about to help start the illegal
invasion of Iraq in 2003. In case you haven’t remembered or guessed yet, it’s
none other than Dick “Go F$@k Yourself” Cheney.
Cheney,
now just a shadow of his former shadow, casts a loving glance at daughter Liz
Once again he’s rearing his ugly head in an effort to
defend all his lying, mayhem and murder. Not to mention is legacy - he wouldn’t
want anyone to forget some of his other great deeds: waterboarding, shooting a
man in the face for sport, destroying the environment for fun and profit, and
killing a little girl for her heart (this has yet to be proven, but he does
have her heart). And now Cheney’s dream of endless war, a dream he worked so
hard to realize, is in jeopardy. Obama doesn’t seem to have the bloodlust
Cheney has and seems unwilling to rush into another invasion of Iraq to clean
up Cheney’s mess. According to Bill Clinton, “Mr. Cheney has been incredibly
adroit for the last six years or so attacking the [Obama] administration for
not doing an adequate job of cleaning up the mess that he made."
Who could blame this Dick for attacking the president at
whose inauguration he refused to stand, pretending that he needed to be in a
wheelchair? Was it because Obama’s middle name is Hussein? Was it because
Cheney is an evil soulless bastard? Was it because he assumed Obama would dry
up his take-home pay from Halliburton’s war profiteering? We’ll probably never
know.
Everyone knows that Cheney was de facto president from
2001 to 2004 and that this was his war as much as anyone’s. So yes, I would
agree that, “Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the
expense of so many.” It just should have been said into a mirror in 2003, not in
an op ed column in 2014. In Cheney’s defense, he wasn’t technically wrong in
the lead up to and execution of the Iraq invasion/war/occupation…he was lying.
Two?
Rep. Lou Barletta (R-PA) said of Obama, “He’s just
absolutely ignoring the Constitution, and ignoring the laws, and ignoring the
checks and balances. The problem is, you know, what do you do for those that
say impeach him for breaking the laws or bypassing the laws. Could that pass in
the House? It probably, it probably could.” Although the Republican congressman
said impeachment could pass among fellow lawmakers, he didn’t think the public
would be in favor of it. This of course is not an issue for Republican’ts. They
don’t give a damn what the majority of Americans think.
Three?
Four?
Darrell Issa: Asshole and in control
Serial car thief, suspected arsonist and petty tyrant
House Oversight Committee chairman, Darrell Issa (yes, he’s all that and a bag
of chumps) held a make-believe late-night hearing on this phony IRS scandal
last week with all the trimmings - lights, cameras, assholes…the works. The
subject of this little charade was a bunch of missing IRS emails. Presidential hopeful
Paul Ryan, who is working hard to get himself some badly needed cred as he
looks to place himself atop the next losing Republican’t ticket in 2016 saw a
great opportunity to make political hay. He waxed apoplectic over the missing
IRS emails he just knows are hiding a mysterious plot to overthrow the Tea
Party. In fact the emails in question were lost two years prior to the
“scandal” in question and were reported at the time. All of this was known to
Rep. Issa before his little soiree.
During the investigation into Dick Cheney’s outing of
Valerie Plame some five million emails went missing, during the investigation
into the firing of US attorneys scores of emails were lost by the White House
even as they were improperly using private email accounts to hide their
activities. Many emails went unaccounted for during the torture investigation.
No Republican’t made a peep at the time these events transpired. Go figure.
Now I must rest. This science stuff if hard work. My brain hurts. Could it be that only four morons can dance on a pinhead? Tune in next time for the conclusion of this truly epic, if wholly meaningless scientific foray. Hey, what do I look like? Neil deGrasse Tyson?
I.
Mangrey reporting.
Thanks for listening. Neil deGrasse Tyson invited.
