May 22, 2016
Donald J. Cheese-For-Brains has vanquished every last mental
midget, politicking punk and dominionist demon who dared run against him. The
alleged billionaire and long-time con man, who had a habit of doing phone
interviews posing as John Barron or John Miller (“publicists” with intimate
personal knowledge, a strangely familiar voice and the same grasp of the
English language as his “boss”)*, has broken the record for most votes in a
Republican’t presidential primary. Who had the previous record? Another
resolute business genius – George W. Bush. They sure know how to pick ‘em. And
this one just hired the guy who assured John McCain it was a good idea to run
with the pick-of-the-century – Sarah Palin.
*Chrump
admitted to these incidents, once under oath in the ‘90s, but now denies it.
#Never(or next Wednesday,
whichever comes first)Chrump
So many previously self-avowed never-Chrump Republican’ts are now chanting, “I would rather die
than see Hillary Clinton as president.” They will very likely get their first wish
if they get their second. The national security community is already crapping
their pants at the very thought of telling Chrump any of what passes for
national security intelligence (the next big oxymoron). I myself am now
sporting Depends as I watch the 2016 presidential race unfold. Chrump is ready
to drop the big one on anyone he thinks is crossing him. He thinks lots of
other countries, specifically Japan, South Korea and Saudi Arabia, should have
their own nukes too. The Stupid is strong in this one.
Fux and Friends
His fake Fux feud notwithstanding, Chrump is quickly winning
over many Republican’ts that wanted nothing to do with him just weeks ago. And
not just the ones who want 11 million immigrants deported or all Muslims banned
from entering the United States or think Mexicans are criminals and rapists or
the misogynists or white nationalists and neo-Nazis. He is also appealing to
some being busted on child pornography, weapons and explosives charges. It is truly a big tent. During her
recent on-air tryst with The Don – who has repeatedly called her a bimbo among
other things – Fux News’s Megyn Kelly gave Chrump the ass-kissing of his life,
her lust for ratings clearly overriding her pride and her value as a human
being let alone a journalist.
In a recent interview John Barron…I mean John Miller…I mean Chrump
said, “You know, Paul Ryan is a lame little puke. He has no power, no brains
and no chance of getting me to change my mind. But I like the guy. I like the
guy. I’m friends with lots of jerks. I don’t have to dislike someone just
because they’re pricks. I like that loser John McCain too. And he loves me. Why
because I tell the truth. He got captured, he’s not a hero, he’s a zero in my
book. But that doesn’t make him a bad person. Plenty of other things make him a
bad person. Hey, I’m just hitting back. By the way the second best book in
history is my Art of The Deal. And I
am so rich that I will be buying George Zimmerman’s gun; you know, the one he
used to kill Trayvon Martin, which he is auctioning off. Now George Zimmerman –
there’s a hero for you. He stood his ground even though it wasn’t really his
ground.” Chrump who says of Two Amendment, "We're going to preserve it,
we're going to cherish it," does not allow guns on many of his properties.
Panderer, Slanderer, Philanderer
Chrump, a particularly loopy climate change denier who looks
like he has gotten too close to the Sun and talks like he has been hit in the
head more than a few times, is applying to build a sea wall to protect an
oceanfront golf course of his on the coast of Ireland. The application warns
that “global warming and its effects” pose “a real and immediate risk to most
of the golf course frontage and assets." Apparently it is not climate
change but Chrump himself that is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese...or perhaps
God.
Here’s The Douchebag trying to explain why he said women should be punished for having an abortion:
Lastly, the man who is recklessly accusing Bill Clinton (who
Chrump stood up for during the Lewinsky episode) of rape was himself accused in
sworn testimony by his first wife of raping her while incensed over a failed
hair installation procedure.
I wonder if what Frank Zappa called “The Imaginary
Journalistic Profession” will even try to report any of this to the American
public. If we are not careful The Stupid will be strong with all of us after
November. And we as a nation are not exactly known for being careful.
I. Mangrey reporting. I’ll stop now…before one of us gets
hurt.
Mad in USA
Mad in USA
