All The Prezident’s Men

He Had Nothing To Do With All the People Who Did Everything For Him

January 31, 2019

The Russian-backed Republican’t party seems intent on obstructing anything they do not like – things like democracy, justice, voting, and people of color, anyone not of the heterosexual male gender, or the poor having any kind of life.  We may never know why patriotic Republican’ts want to interfere with an investigation into the nefarious dealings of their anti-American president, whose campaign almost certainly conspired with Russia to steal the presidency. 

Is McConnell being engulfed by, or emitting the Orange Gas Cloud

Chrump’s inner circle amassed 100 meetings with Russian operatives during the 2016 campaign.  All of Chrump’s men then proceeded to lie about their encounters every change they got, including under oath.  Many people are saying that lying under oath is troublesome, if not criminal.  One of those people is Robert Mueller, who is causing his own kind of trouble.

One after the other, Chrump attempts to distance himself from everyone who has left his employ to either face jail time or write a tell-all account of their nightmarish stretch in the Chrump administration.  In the not too distant future we can expect to hear the Chrump patriarch say, “I had very little to do with this guy calling himself “Don, Jr.”  I might have met with him a few times, but we never had a relationship of any kind.  And we definitely never talked about my campaign or my business, which by the way I have nothing to do with anymore.  I think he might have worked for me for a week or two.  The rest is fake news.”  Or maybe Chrump will send Don, Jr. and Eric on a secret hunting trip with Dick Cheney.

Chrump himself has had an unknown number of private meetings, undisclosed phone calls, and one assumes secret trysts at seedy motels with his benefactor (and likely blackmailer) Vladimir Putin.  Republican’ts are definitely not standing idly by.  They are enabling and covering for this Manchurian scumbag at every turn.

The company he keeps: *Guilty, **Indicted, ***Next on Mueller’s to-do list?

If a man be judged by the company he keeps, one would be forgiven for beginning to, however begrudgingly, consider the possibility that Donald Chrump might not be the upstanding, very stable genius, who brought the best people into his administration, and is devoted to nothing other than making America great again, and might in fact be something else.  Perhaps Chrump is nothing more than a sniveling, conniving, imbecilic, greedy, narcissistic conman interested in nothing more than personal aggrandizement – even at the expense of an entire nation.  It’s just a thought.

In addition, it should be noted that Republican’ts began showing love for Putin as soon as Barack Obama was elected.  From squawking heads at Fux News, to countless Congress weasels, it was said over and over that Putin was strong and Obama was weak.  Starting before their love affair with Putin’s Russia, Republican’ts have been criminally negligent, at best, for a very long time when it comes to protecting and defending the Constitution and the United States of America.  They seem totally unconcerned that Russia helped elect their scarecrow to the presidency.  Now the party of “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall” is the party of Chrump’s “Build the wall, build the wall.”  Methinks they took being the “red” party a bit too seriously.  Perhaps it is time to resurrect the old saw, “Better dead than red.”

I. Mangrey reporting.  Stop the world, I want him to get off.                                    

                                                                                   

He Knows Nothing, Nothing

Sore Gent Schultz Wants In

January 30, 2019

Howard “Daddy Starbucks” Schultz is threatening to throw his millions into the 2020 ring.  As if we have not learned our lesson, and Americans just want a better “billionaire” “president”.  Schultz apparently missed the 2018 midterm elections and the Blue (mostly progressive) Tsunami that crushed Donald Chrump’s short-lived stranglehold on the American psyche.  Chrump’s poll numbers – his ratings, if you will – are dropping faster than a pile of hamberders down his ample, welcoming gullet.

Chrump removes his foot just long enough to insert his food

The Starbucks bigwig, who is certainly wealthier than the Orange Gas Cloud, believes that the Democratic party has moved too far to the left, and only he can fix it – to coin a phrase – by running as an independent.  Schultz needs to wake up and smell the covfefe if he thinks he has his finger anywhere near the pulse the American public.  Bye-bye rich guy.

Schultz, formerly a life-long Democrat, is reportedly distressed with the emergence of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her increasingly popular platform of holding the wealthiest one percent accountable.  Schultz made this brilliant observation, “I respect the Democratic Party.  I no longer feel affiliated because I don’t know their views represent the majority of Americans.  I don’t think we want a 70 percent income tax in America.”  What do you mean WE, rich man? 

I guess Schultz did not get the memo that most Americans (over 60 percent at last count) do, in fact, want a 70 percent tax on people like him.  Rep. Ocasio-Cortez’s proposal to tax earnings over $10 million at 70 percent is supported by nearly six in ten Americans.  Did I mention Schultz is a billionaire?  Coffee Boy also called the exceedingly popular Medicare-for-all “un-American.”  So far, he is off to a dying start.

If Schultz does enter the race, the most likely outcome of course, will be another term for the current White House occupant, as Schultz will, if anything, take votes away from what is very likely to be a seriously progressive Democrat.  First of all, the chances of an independent candidate winning the presidency are about as good as the chances that Donald Chrump will stop whining about his, and I will quote former Mexican president Vicente Fox here, “fucking wall.”  Second, Chrump’s mostly moronic, racist, alternately-informed core supporters will not vote for a Jew, not even a wealthy one.  Take a hike rich dude and spend more time with your family and your ego.

But Wait, There’s More…

Another billionaire, Michael Bloomberg is once again weighing running for president, this time as a Democrat.  Bloomberg is displaying the same fear of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her campaign to rein in the excessively rich and/or greedy. 

What is wrong with these super-rich assholes?  They made their fortunes thanks to the rest of us – one way or another…or many ways.  They can’t cough up a few extra bucks to help their country and those with less?  I am willing to bet that most people are pretty well fed up with these greedy bastards.  Their voices are falling on increasingly deaf ears.  None of them will never be able to buy enough votes to do anything but keep Chrump in office.

Another billionaire we do not need to run for president is Tom Steyer, who has been hard at work pushing for impeachment.  Don’t get me wrong, I have been a big fan of impeaching the current interloper – with the big caveat of course, being the possible presidency of Mike Pence – but I have no interest in sampling the wares of another billionaire, regardless of the flavor of their politics.  Steyer has not yet weighed in on better taxing big dollars, but we simply do not need a battle of the bulging wallets.  It is time to get our socialism on.

The “radical” Democrats are not the only ones itching to take on income inequality.  The World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland went askew when Historian Rutger Bregman spoke truth to money, “This is my first time at Davos, and I find it quite bewildering, to be honest. I mean, 1500 private jets have flown in here to hear Sir David Attenborough, you know, talk about how we're wrecking the planet. And, I mean, I hear people talking the language of participation and justice and equality and transparency but then, I mean, almost no one raises the issue of tax avoidance, right? And of the rich just not paying their fair share. I mean it feels as if I'm at a firefighter's conference and no one is allowed to mention water, right?”

It seems Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and other “radicals” are not alone.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Screw Wall Street, help Main Street.

Mr. Chrump, We Have Found Your Balls…

You Will Get Them Back When the Speaker Deems Appropriate

January 28, 2019

House Speaker, and keeper of Chrump’s balls, Nancy Pelosi told reporters, “The indictment of Roger Stone makes clear that there was a deliberate, coordinated attempt by top Trump campaign officials to influence the 2016 election and subvert the will of the American people.  In the face of 37 indictments, the President’s continued actions to undermine the Special Counsel investigation raise the questions: what does Putin have on the President, politically, personally or financially?”

She continued: “The Special Counsel investigation is working, and the House will continue to exercise our constitutional oversight responsibility and ensure that the Special Counsel investigation can continue free from interference from the White House.”

Nancy Pelosi might not be president (yet), but she currently owns one

On the other side of the aisle, in alternate reality land, Republican’ts are dragging their heels in order to avoid the inevitable.  Now that Democrats control all Congressional committees, and actual oversight is in the air, Republican’ts can no longer bury the myriad investigations they had previously stifled.  In accordance with Republican’t tradition, the party of world-class obstructionist Mitch McConnell and Russian agent Donald Chrump will do anything to stop the federal government from working – especially when it comes to investigating their criminal president. 

In order to continue their quest to thwart justice, Republican’ts in the House Intelligence Committee are purposefully, and with malice, not appointing anyone to the committee. House committees cannot begin their work unless all members have been appointed. 

The only person named to the committee so far is previous committee chair Devin Nunes – who was illegally colluding with the White House during his tenure as committee chair.  Until Republican’ts name other members, the committee is paralyzed. No meetings, no hearings, nothing. The House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) has given no reason for their inaction. 

McCarthy, a quintessential doofus and master of word salads, is too busy trying to con Americans into believing that the Chrump Shutdown was not Chrump’s doing.  He must have been distracted by someone wielding a laser pen when Chrump was on television saying he would shut down the government and be proud to do it, and not blame Democrats for it.  McCarthy seems similarly unaware that Chrump is already talking about shutting the government down again if his wall is not built by February 15.  Which brings to mind the old saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, do the exact same thing that didn’t work the first time again, because it’s sure to work the next time.”

I. Mangrey reporting.                                                                                       

                                                                                

Chrump, The Cave-Man-in-Chief

Whiny, Weak-Kneed Wimp Welches on Worthless Wall

January 26, 2019

So much crazy, so little time.  Roger Stone’s pre-dawn arrest to keep him from destroying evidence.  The speculation about the phrase “a senior Trump Campaign official was directed to contact STONE about any additional releases and what other damaging information…regarding the Clinton Campaign” from Mueller’s office.  Roger Stone was pretty high up the fast-food chain, having been associated with Paul Manafort and Chrump for many years – the sleaziest three stooges you’d ever want to meet.  This of course begs the question – Who directed Stone?  There are very few (probably two or three at most) possibilities here, most of whom share the same surname – CHRUMP.  

 

Stone emerging from custody, as clueless as his old boss…


A “triumphant” Nixon leaving office one step ahead of the sheriff

As if that was not enough mind-bending news for one day, before the ink was dry on Stone’s bail document, the temporary end of the Chrump Wall-or-Nothing Shutdown was announced later that same day.  Did Chrump pick yesterday to finally surrender in order to distract us from another member of his inner circle being arrested with the stench of Russia clinging to him like copious spray on Chrump’s “hair”?  I know that every day in the Chrump administration brings a year’s worth of crazy, but yesterday is in the top five…for now.

And how exactly did Chrump’s Magical Misery Shutdown grind to (an at least temporary) halt?  As usual, the Orange Gas Cloud caved.  He folded in the face of opposition.  He waved a flag almost as white as the no-spray-tan-zone around his lying eyes.  Pelosi has been spanking him like an orange-hued stepchild since reclaiming her gavel, and the Speaker has prevailed once again.  This time Chrump tucked his not insubstantial tail between his legs, and ran from his beloved wall and shutdown. 

Fun fact: Roger Stone and Donald Chrump have been close for 40 years (Stone brought in Manafort, who in turn brought in Pence), and according to Manafort, Stone has been - presumably until yesterday - the most influential force in Chrump's political life.  It was Stone’s idea to plant the "build-the-wall" meme in Chrump’s tiny brain in order to remind the candidate to attack immigrants on a regular basis.  When the hateful idea caught on with the considerable racist base Chrump was attracting, he became obsessed with the word “wall” and with the ridiculous idea that Mexico would pay for it.  These fake spews became Chrump’s rallying cry and remains the raison d'être of Chrump and the very, very large racist wing of his base.

Chrump stood like a wilting weed waving in the wind in the Rose Garden and haltingly relayed someone else’s words, trying to spin his way out of his latest defeat.  Chrump looked so presidential, reading like a big boy, and seemingly not drooling on his very, very long tie, though everything near him turned the color of spray-tan and the grass beneath his feet burst into flames.  In any event, he caved without getting a penny for his petty, bullshit wall. Naturally, Chrump disavowed ever saying what he said so many times, “We do not need 2,000 miles of concrete wall from sea to shining sea, we never did, we never proposed that…”  Boy, is Ann Coulter going to be furious.  Rush Limbaugh is downing his oxycontin like M&Ms.

Chrump at his I-never-promised-you-a-wall, Rose Garden speech

Most likely, Chrump caved in order to reclaim his desperately-needed television time, typically referred to as the State of the Union.  Der Furor cares nothing for the SOTU, the country, or the office he holds hostage, but being on television is critical to his very existence.  To that end, Chrump and his Republican’t enablers have agreed to switch from temporarily shutting down the government to temporarily re-opening the government for three weeks.

Unfortunately for Baby Donny, Nancy Pelosi is not yet ready to schedule Donny’s TV time, “The State of the Union is not planned now.  What I’d said to the President was when the government is opened we would discuss a mutually agreeable date and I look forward to doing that and welcoming the President to the House of Representatives for the State of the Union when we agree on that mutually agreeable date.”

Naturally, Chrump is claiming that he won the shutdown.  Despite declaring victory, he made it clear that he reserves the right to kick his little feet, flail his tiny hands, turn redder-in-the-face and declare a national emergency over his beloved wall of unicorns if Congress does not come to Chrump’s senses by February 15.

“So much winning, the best people, build the wall…”

I. Mangrey re-opened. 

Roger and He

Let He Who is Without Brains Cast the First Stone

January 25, 2019

Chrump is so crazed at this point that he is threatening himself.  In his desperation, Der Furor is calling for Michael Cohen’s father-in-law Fima Shusterman, to be investigated.  Chrump is hoping that by intimidating Cohen, otherwise known as witness tampering, which lawyer types consider to be a criminal act, his long-time attorney/fixer will get cold feet and not testify to the House Oversight Committee.  For now, Chrump’s brilliant strategy is working, as Cohen has backed out of his scheduled appearance before the committee, citing threats against his family from his former boss.  Unfortunately for Chrump, the Senate Intelligence Committee is now planning to subpoena Cohen, and apparently subpoenas trump witness tampering – even in Chrumpworld.

“Mueller should be looking closely at Cohen’s father-in-law, who is a big criminal…
and I should know – I did a lot of business with him for a long time.”

 

Even more unfortunately for Chrump, is the fact that he himself is probably up to his tan-lined eyeballs in the very criminal activities of which he is accusing Cohen’s father-in-law, who is well known to authorities.  Shusterman has a criminal record, having pleaded guilty to money-laundering-related charges, and is allegedly connected to organized crime in Russia and Ukraine.  It is likely that Chrump is connected to these organized criminals as well.  In fact, it quite possible that Chrump has been involved with Shusterman for quite some time, and that Cohen only got the Chrump gig as a result of his father-in-law.  Cohen, and presumably Chrump, denies this, so chances are good that it is true.  It is also possible that Cohen has thrown himself under the bus to keep Shusterman out of the slammer.

So, Chrump is so fucking stupid, and so focused on trashing Cohen, that he has seemingly forgotten that dredging up Shusterman’s dirty dealing will likely unearth some serious slime on the Orange Gas Cloud himself.  People think that Chrump knows what he has and has not done.  There is no actual evidence of this.  Either way, it is getting increasingly difficult for Chrump to keep track of his endless lies.  No one has ever been able to keep track of his boundless stupidity.  Donald Chrump has his head so far up his ass that he can only peek at the outside world through his very, very stuffed-up nose.

At this point, the trail of Chrump’s breadcrumbs Mueller has been following is a five-course banquet.  Let us hope Mr. Mueller still has a healthy appetite.  We have an illegitimate president/vice-president/administration that is more responsive to Russian oligarchs and Vladimir Putin than they are to the United States of America.

The Man With the Nixon Tattoo

Speaking of crumbs, long-time political miscreant, flamboyant big-mouth, and long-time associate of Donald Chrump, Roger Stone was indicted and arrested today.  Stone, a one-time Nixon slimeball, business associate of Paul Manafort, and first public, then secret advisor to candidate Chrump, and self-described "dirty trickster", was all the way up Chrump’s ass during the campaign, and up to his own eyeballs in Russian meddling with the 2016 election.  He was charged with witness tampering, obstruction of justice and false statements about his interactions related to the release by WikiLeaks of hacked emails during the 2016 presidential election. Some of Stone’s false statements were made to the House intelligence committee, according to the indictment.

The White House insists Stone’s arrest is part of the “greatest witch hunt in the history of our country” and has nothing whatsoever to do with Chrump.  Stone was released on $250K bond, though he is considered a blight risk.

I. Mangrey reporting.  This could (and should) get interesting.

Chrump’s SOTU Still a STFU

Don’t Ask, Don’t Yell

January 24, 2019

Chrump’s perpetual tantrum level has been turned up to 11 since Nancy Pelosi has disinvited the Orange Gas Cloud from delivering his Fake State of the Union address in front of both Houses of Congress.  Chrump decided he would ignore his disinvitation, and signed a letter written by someone else, which insisted he would be showing up anyway.  Speaker of the House Pelosi reiterated her position, that Chrump would not be welcome in the House chamber unless and until the shutdown, which Chrump created and is so proud of, is over.

Chrump whined to the press he regularly vilifies, “We just found out that she’s cancelled it.  I think that’s a great blotch on the incredible country that we all love.  It’s a great, great horrible mark. I don’t believe it’s ever happened before and it’s always good to be part of history but this is a very negative part of history.”  As always, practically every word out Chrump’s mouth – particularly, “great blotch on the incredible country”, “great, great horrible mark” and “a very negative part of history” – all refer to Chrump himself.  All the other words that preceded the previous quote were either moronic, overt lies, or more concrete evidence that he has not the tiniest clue what is in the Constitution.

SOTU/STFU: Enough already.

More On The Moron

Cliff Sims is a former employee/victim of the Chrump administration.  Sims paints a nauseating, though not the least bit surprising portrait of the Disaster-in-chief in his upcoming exposé.  Apparently, Chrump is at times irate, paranoid and petty.  What is shocking to me is the appearance of the phrase “at times” to characterize the irateness, paranoia and pettiness of The Don.  Der Furor was even rude to his own personal Speaker of the Louse, Paul Ryan.  Imagine that.  Sims relates a story of Ryan standing in the Oval Office trying to explain the Republican healthcare plan to Chrump.  This is, of course, as worthwhile an endeavor as describing quantum physics to a wombat.

Ryan fancies himself a master of economics and other governmentesque numbers, as well as a policy maven.  You might recall that the Republican’t dreamboat was Willard Romney’s running mate in 2012.  According to Sims, while Ryan was talking, Chrump wandered around, staring out windows and at walls, sipping his Diet Coke and, one assumes, wondering how his “hair” was holding up.  President Adderall eventually wandered out of the Oval and into his private dining room, where he decided to spend some quality time with the TV, presumably hoping Fux News would tell him what he supposed to do.  Mike Pence had to chase after Don Revolt-y, the Man of Dementia and attempt to get him back on task.  
 

Don Revolt-y, The Man of Dementia and Sancho Pence-a – tilting at wind-walls



One assumes Pence lured his quarry with promise of one of those wonderful left-over hamberders Chrump fed to the national champion Clemson football team – in lieu of actual food – when the team visited the White House.

There were not 1000 berders; they probably were not all gone. 
Chrump however, is clearly all gone.

I. Mangrey reporting.

 

Thought For The Day

Book Him Danno

January 18, 2019

Michael Cohen has testified that his boss directed him to lie to Congress on multiple occasions.  Many people are saying that this is against the law.  In the United States.  Of America.  Even though the government is shut down.  And the president is a Shit Clown.

Time to dust for prints.

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Russian Around Like a Turkey With Its Head Cut Off

Impeachment Hangs in The Air Like a Snowpocalypse

January 17, 2019

Let the record show that he was, in fact, a lying fucking crook.

As you, unless you are in a coma – voluntarily or otherwise – probably know, new stories have emerged about the FBI’s counterintelligence investigation into whether or not Donald J. Chrump was working on behalf of Vladimir Putin during and after his presidential campaign.  You are likely asking yourself – and anyone within earshot, “Whatever, who the hell doesn’t already know that?”  The Idiot King practically demanded he be investigated when he told Lester Holt – on national television – in May of 2017, that after talking to himself about himself, he decided to fire James Comey because of “that Russia thing.”  There have been countless other reasons to investigate Chrump’s subservience to Russia of course, but that one is pretty tough to beat, as far as irrefutable evidence.  To Chrump’s credit, he is working diligently on it.  This seems to be the only thing he is actually working on.  Many people are hoping his hard work pays off.

Chrump is also working extremely hard to advance Russian interests now that he is in the White House, while simultaneously seeing to it that the American government remains shut down for no good reason.  Only Republican’ts are hoping this hard work pays off.  After all, they have been trying to stop our government from working for decades.

The day after what many are calling a “bombshell” (fingers crossed) report in the New York Times, Chrump the Cowardly Liar scurried to his happy place at Fux News. Fux host/lunatic Jeanine Pirro, presumably planning to toss her fellow lunatic Donald Chrump the softest of softball questions, croaked, “I’m going to ask you, are you now or have you ever worked for Russia, Mr. President?”  Chrump went on a tirade covering much ground, but not including the one-word answer Pirro was likely expecting – NO.  Chrump offered up his usual smorgasbord of crazy talk, but never said NO.  He attacked Comey, the press, the FBI, Mueller, Santa Claus and the Milky Way, but he never uttered the word NO. 

At least he is not a crook…just kidding…totally kidding.

Two days after the Pirro fiasco, after everyone in the world, with the exception of Fux News, expressed absolute shock that Putin’s Plant, the man who lies more than he breathes – and much more easily – could not manage to clearly, succinctly deny working for Russia, Chrump finally lied publicly from the White House lawn, “I never worked for Russia.  Not only did I never work for Russia, I think it’s a disgrace that you even asked that question because it’s a whole big, fat hoax.”  One assumes he was responding to his own reflection when he uttered the words “big, fat hoax.”

This guy.

Nothing* is More Counter-intelligent Than Chrump  

Given these latest revelations, many people are wondering why Trump went out of his way to ensure that no records of his meetings with Russian President Vladimir Putin exist?   Odds are he ate them, which he has been known to do to destroy evidence.  And why he gave classified information to Russians in the Oval Office? And if he has serious, significant, irreversible brain damage?

I have a very, very large uh-brain.

Trump went to extraordinary lengths to conceal his conversations with Putin.  On at least one occasion he confiscated the notes of his own interpreter (the only non-Russian permitted to attend the meeting – Huh?) with instructions (threats?) not to discuss what they had witnessed, not even with other administration officials.  Clearly, nothing suspicious going on.  Fortunately for Chrump, the Kremlin is there to back him up.  On Wednesday, top Russian officials dismissed allegations that Chrump could have worked for Moscow’s interests, as “absurd” and “stupid.”  But were they talking about the allegations or about Chrump himself?  We may never know.

Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the meeting transcripts that are missing.  I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.

__________________________
*Grammarians would insist this should be “No one”, but I must respectfully disagree.  That would imply sentience.

I. Mangrey reveling.  Lock him up, lock him up, lock him up.  And do it on TV.      

                                                                                              

Fraught For The Day

State Of The Unhinged

January 16, 2019

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has decided to exercise her authority in a unique manner.  Citing security issues resulting from the Ever Widening, Disgustingly Disgraceful Chrump Shutdown, Pelosi has disinvited the qresident from delivering the State of the Union address in person unless Chrump and McConnell end this pathetic tableau forthwith. 

Changing the SOTU to a STFU is a particularly good idea at this time considering the fact that Chrump’s personal Duke of Darkness Stephen Miller was in the White House attic drafting a speech that blames the Democrats for Chrump’s shutdown.

The Speaker told reporters, “He can make it from the Oval Office if he wants.”  Pelosi also granted that Der Furor might present it in writing – as was customary up until the presidency of Woodrow Wilson.  Now they are done in front of a joint session of Congress on national television, but seriously, who the hell wants to look at this bloated cheese puff for more than 30 painful seconds at a time anyway.  Pelosi probably did not say, “It would be just as well if Mr. Chrump parked himself on his toilet and tweeted the damn thing if you ask me.  It’s not like he has anything constructive to say.  He’ll probably try to blame Democrats for the shutdown he told America he would proudly own and not blame us for, because it would be so beautiful…like his dumbass wall.”

“Either you stop your shutdown or you can just stay in your room, mister.”

 

This has been your Paying Attention Fraught For The Day.

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Thought For The Day

At Least They’re Consistent

January 15, 2019

Congressputz Steve King (R-KKK), in a piece published in the New York Times last week, posed the question many Americans are (unfortunately) asking, “White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization – how did that language become offensive?”  Many more Americans are asking, “How the fuck have the people of Iowa elected King to the House of Representatives nine times?”

Steve King, relaxing on his day off

In other news of great white dopes, Chrump’s most recent National Security Adviser, (who replaced H.R. McMaster, who replaced admitted felon/foreign agent Mike Flynn), reportedly “asked the Pentagon to provide the White House with military options to strike Iran last year, generating concern at the Pentagon and State Department.”  Generating concern among sane, non-warmongering people is nothing new for Bolton. 

Daniel W. Drezner, a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University, tweeted:

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Chrump’s Super Duper, Ever Changing Liquid Wall

It’s Really a Gas

January 11, 2019

You would not be faulted for having a difficult time keeping up with Chrump’s ever changing, magical mystery “wall.”  It will be beautiful concrete.  It will be steel slats.  It will be a hologram.  It will be made of moon cheese.  Or maybe phlogiston. 

It will be a 30-foot high wall.  It will be electrified fencing.  It will be a barrier of some sort.  It will be made out of whatever passes for Chrump’s hair.  If you believe hard enough, it will keep all the Mexican criminals and rapists (all six of them apparently) from flooding into our country.  It will be a vague idea.  It will be a Schrödinger’s* wall – both there and not there at the same time. 

This wall or fence or barricade or giant shower curtain will cost $4 or $5B…or $6B…or $7B…or $8B…or $10 to $12B or $18B…or $25B. (all numbers Der Furor has provided, in chronological order, by the way)

Mexico will pay for the wall.  “It's an easy decision for Mexico: make a one-time payment of $5-10 billion to ensure that $24 billion continues to flow into their country year after year.” (March 2016)  “They’ll pay, in one form or another. They may even write us a check when it’s said and done.” (April 13, 2016)  “When I said Mexico would pay for the wall in front of thousands and thousands of people... obviously I never meant Mexico would write a check.” “When I say Mexico is going to pay for the wall, do you think they’re going to write a check for $20B or $10B or $5B or two cents? No.” (January 10, 2019) Eventually, you will be convinced that it looks like Mexico paid for the wall in some way or other.  Or not.

You’ll want to suck down every last drop.
You might as well, you’re paying for it.

This is a real clip from a real show in 1958

Speaking of real video, you’ll never guess who said this: “Never, ever give up.  Don’t give up.  Don’t allow it to happen.  If there’s a concrete wall in front of you, go through it, go over it, go around it.  But, get to the other side of that wall.” 

Donald J. Trump, Professional Idiot - May 21, 2004

Oopsie

Fun fact: it turns out Chrump’s very, very large, very beautiful, see-through steel slats are no match for a power saw.  You cannot even cut Chrump’s “hair” with a power saw, at least not without serious risk of injury.

__________________________
*Schrödinger's cat is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, devised by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger in 1935.  The scenario presents a cat that may be simultaneously both alive and dead, a state known as a quantum superposition.

I. Mangrey reporting and not reporting.