These Are the Times That Fry Men’s Souls*

Mr. Mueller, Tear Down This Fool

June 1, 2019

It is often said that the problem with indicting a sitting president or, if one may be permitted to dream impeaching him, is that it would impede the president’s ability to carry out the responsibilities of the office.  I do not see the problem here.  There is nothing this country needs more at this moment than to interfere with this president’s ability to carry out whatever it is that he keeps carrying on about.

He has been endlessly coddling Vladimir Putin, fawning over Kim Jong Un.  He has been accused of repeatedly obstructing justice.  He vilifies and threatens everyone who dares disagree with him, including many of the best people he installed to ru(i)n our government.  He is a known conman and life-long criminal, caring nothing for the presidency other than padding his own bank account and ego. 

Chrump continues to protect the ability of Russia (while possibly courting North Korea for the same purpose) to continue what Robert Mueller found to be their “multiple, systematic efforts to interfere in our elections, and that allegation deserves the attention of every American.”  Mueller made it clear that his investigation proved that Russian military cyber warfare was conducted against Hillary Clinton’s campaign for the purpose of having Donald Chrump win the election.  Apparently, Republican’ts remain relentless in their attempts to keep huge swaths of the American electorate from voting, but they are fine with Russia weighing in on our elections.

Mueller stated very strongly and very powerfully, “…after that investigation, if we had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so.”  Contrary to Chrump’s constant, cacophonous and cringe-worthy caterwauling, Mueller and the report that bears his name said nothing of the sort.  

“I was totally exonerated.  I’m here on vacation.”

Robert Mueller has always been above politics.  Kudos to him.  Everyone on both sides of the aisle applauded when Mueller was appointed to investigate Russian interference in our elections and the possible complicity by Chrump’s campaign – something for which the Chrump campaign had been under investigation prior to the 2016 election.  Some on should read this thing to Bill Barr. 

Just as Mueller says “no person is above the law,” no person is above politics today.  Not even Mueller.  There is nothing but politics now.  Mueller must pull on his shit-wading boots and get dirty.  He has been a consummate non-political professional.  Now he is a private citizen.  If he truly loves his country, he will do whatever he can to rid us of a criminal tyrant. 

Mueller thinks his integrity still matters.  The only thing that matters in the people who need to get the unvarnished proof of Chrump’s perfidy, is being beaten over the head with endless television/internet face time.  Mueller insists that he would not say anything that was not spelled out in his report.  Fine.  As far as I’m concerned, he can sit there and read excerpts selected by members of Congress.  They can have responsive readings and a couple Randy Rainbow videos to break things up.  The American public must be entertained at all times. 

Too many people remain unaware that Mueller provided ample evidence and comprehensive footnotes detailing 10 instances of obstruction of justice by the Chrump team.  These people, like their dear leader, do not read.  Those who represent these willfully ignorant Americans in Congress have also purposely avoided reading the report and are unlikely to dig in any time soon.  They all need to be told by Mueller directly in small words and short sentences.

The one Republican’t who has read the Mueller Report is now mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.  Justin Amash (R-MI) is shouting impeachment from all corners of the country.

A good start

Chrump was so enraged after Mueller’s public statement that his morning toilet tweet storm included his Freudian admission that Russia helped him get elected.

 

How about obstructions of justice?

A conservative columnist, whose name was not worth remembering, opined that “it would be divisive for the nation and a boon to our global competitors if Democrats choose to hobble our national agenda with superfluous, partisan impeachment.”  Nice try asshole, but what you are describing to a tee is something Americans know all too well and is known around the world as Donald J. Chrump, or as he was described on his beloved Twitter by an Englishman, a “tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon.”

* Most times fry women’s souls.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Don't change the subject.                                                     

                                                                           

Home on Derange

While The Rat’s Away...He Says Horrible Things About His Country

May 29, 2019

Once again, Chrumpy the Clown, who it must be admitted is truly unrivaled when it comes to putting one’s feet in one’s mouth, is at it again.  Though to be fair, if his feet are as tiny as his hands, or his whatever, this becomes a much less impressive accomplishment.  Not to be outdone, Chrump is not content merely inserting both feet into one mouth.  Most of us, once we realize that we have put our foot in our mouth, we shut up and try, with as little further embarrassment as possible, to remove said foot from said mouth.  Not Little Donny Douchebag.  He has the unique, albeit unenviable ability to keep talking with nary a thought to removing any feet.  Feet or no feet, it is not like he is particularly intelligible anyway. 

The Clown-Prince of Chaos, Carnage and Catastrophe

As is not the least bit surprising, Der Furor, while on foreign soil, decided it was as good a time as any to stand behind the words of one of his favorite brutal, maniacal dictators – a much “better” dictator than Chrump could ever be – Kim Jong Un.  Chrump, as usual, spit in the face of U.S. intelligence, telling the world that he trusts Kim Jong Un more than he trusts his own national security advisors.  “My people think it could have been a violation, as you know.  I view it differently.  I view it as a man perhaps he wants to get attention, and perhaps not.  Who knows?”  I don’t know who knows, but I do know who has not the smallest fucking clue.  Say it with me everyone – Donald Clueless Fucking Chrump.  That’s who.

Chrump also took the opportunity to agree with Kim’s assessment of Chrump’s political rival Joe Biden, “Well, Kim Jong Un made a statement that Joe Biden is a low-IQ individual.  He probably is, based on his record.  I think I agree with him on that.”  Even a Fux News panel found this to be unacceptable behavior.  You would think there might be someone capable of assisting Chrump in the extraction of his hooves from his mouth. 

One has to wonder if the Secret Service is armed with tranquillizer darts.  If so, it might be time to discuss a different kind of intervention than the one Nancy Pelosi recently suggested.  It is time for someone to remind Chrump of the old saw, “If you can’t take the heat, smash your head against the wall until you pass out and then have yourself kidnapped and put away where the Sun don’t shine, until you can’t remember your own name.”  I think that’s how it goes.

While I’m on the subject of contemptible, cartoonish cretins in positions of power…

And he didn’t even buy us a drink first

 

I. Mangrey reporting.  How are things in your town?
                                                                                                   

                                                                              

The Picture of Dorian Orange

He's Not a Man, He's Not a Beast, He's About as Shapeless as The Man in The Moon 

May 23, 2019 

When you look at pictures of past presidents as they enter office compared to when they leave, there is clearly a before-and-after feel to them.  Except now.  Yes, I know that #45 has not yet left office and continues to haunt the White House and my every waking and sleeping moment, but just stay with me for a moment.   

Before an dafter

Donald Chrump looks as “fresh” today as he did when he oozed down that escalator to proclaim all Mexicans criminals and rapists, on his way to procuring his complimentary presidency via the Electoral College, which by the way is as esteemed an institution as Chrump University.  

Quasichrump

There are two possible reasons that Chrump seems physically unchanged thus far. 1) He was so grotesque, tinted and dyed when he started that a) it is impossible to know what he actually looks like without his “hair,”  “hair” epoxy and Orange #2 skin coloring, or b) no one is willing to look at him long enough to notice and only a sudden and devastating decline in his countenance could be distinguished, and then only by extremely sophisticated apparatus, or 2) Unlike most of his 44 predecessors, Chrump does almost no president-related work and therefore remains unravaged by what is typically a very stressful job – if you actually do it.

Must be all the cheating at golf that keeps him in such good shape 

Friends With Deficits

At a recent campaign rally in Pennsylvania, Der Furor fumed to his mentally malfunctioning, democratically deficient, morally malfeasant misfits about his now-two-and-a-half-year-long re-election bid. “And then we'll drive them crazy. Ready? And maybe if we really like it a lot and if things keep going like they're going, we'll go and we'll do what we have to do. We'll do a three and a four and a five.”  What a great sense of humor.  I laughed so hard I lost five years off my life.

Donald Chrump also held another Rose Garden press tantrum brought on by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi accusing Chrump of engaging in a “cover-up.”  After storming out of another meeting with Chuck and Nancy, Der Furor insisted he would not be doing any negotiating until they “get these phony investigations over with.”  He then told the assembled reporters, “I don’t do cover-ups.”  Not one reporter had the good sense to ask, “Then what the hell do you call what is happening on top of your head?”

Chrump assaults the press aided by prefabricated impromptu poster

Current polling might have something to say about Der Furor’s plan to permanently stay in office.  He is now at 38% approve, 57% disapprove.  Three weeks ago those numbers were 41%-55%. 54% of voters say they would “definitely not vote” for Chrump.  31% say they’d “definitely vote” for him.  Chrump is doing an excellent job of distilling his base down to its essence.  There is almost no one left but the best racists and most poorly educated.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Be seeing you.

You Will Not De-Fetus

Be My Baby…Or Else

May 18, 2019

State after stupid fucking state (GA, OH, KY, UT, MS, AL) is passing insane anti-abortion laws.  The new law signed by Georgia’s governor says that as soon as a “fetal” heart beat is detected, which can occur before many women are even aware that they are pregnant, and before the cells have become a fetus.  The law says that at the onset of a “heartbeat,” the embryo or fetus, as they call it, is given “natural person status” meaning the embryo is entitled to “child” support, can be claimed as a dependent on taxes, and is included in population statistics.  I am not making this up.  Does this mean that rapists will be required to pay support?  Will rapists be able to write these “babies” off on their taxes?  Inquiring minds want to know.

The law signed by Alabama’s governor, which mentally challenged Christian zealot Pat Robertson called “an extreme law,” (meaning it will not be a winner with the Supremes) proposes jailing abortion providers for up to 99 years, much longer than a convicted racist, whose baby his victim will be forced to bring to term.  If only these all white, male Alabama legislators (though the law was signed by Alabama’s female governor) could be raped.  I do not think this is asking too much, nor is it a terrible thing to wish.  This is obviously a necessary experience for these yahoos since the law they have put forth (for the sole purpose of getting the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade) would not allow abortion even in cases of rape or incest, which I believe are both considered sports in Alabama.

Make Womb For Daddy

Alabama Republican’t State Senator Clyde Chambliss was asked if the law would allow for incest victims to obtain abortions.  Chambliss responded: “Yes, until she knows she’s pregnant.”  At least he had a good explanation, “You can’t know that immediately. It takes some time for all those chromosomes and all that.”  I am not making this up.  In his defense, Chambliss also said, “I don’t know if I’m smart enough to be pregnant, so I appreciate the wisdom of our heavenly father.”  Barely smart enough to breathe, being raped is too good for this pathetic putz.  Someone should insert an embryo through his penis, find a way to make it gestate for nine months and then pull it out the way it went in.  Then we can have a conversation.

Man (Forcing People to Be) Alive

This current spasm of anti-woman legislation was, of course, provided fertile ground thanks to Chrump (of whom Howard Stern said, “The Donald I know I think he’d probably get a few people abortions.”) Chrump was ably abetted in creating this putrid petri dish of political posturing by Mitch McConnell who gleefully would not allow Barack Obama to nominate Merrick Garland – who had broad bipartisan support – to fill a vacant Supreme Court seat.  McConnell stole the seat, which would later be filled by Chrump pick – virulent anti-choice lightweight Neil Gorsuch.  Gorsuch was followed on the Court by credibly-accused attempted rapist Brett “I like beer” Kavanaugh.  Get ready for these two religious fanatics to unsettle settled law and reverse Roe v. Wade.

As embryos, these unfortunates knew what they were getting into

Anti-choicers always like to say that every child deserves, nay, is commanded to be born.  What if the child does not want to be born?  These poor, unsuspecting embryos are not given a choice.  The adults always get to decide.  I guess these people really are anti-choice on all fronts.

So, it is acceptable to force a sperm and egg to join in a laboratory without their permission, and without even dinner-and-a-movie, and go against God’s will by implanting an embryo into a body that has clearly been deemed by God as disqualified from bearing children.  (Hey, wait a minute, isn’t that science?)  But, it is unacceptable to allow someone who either believes that they are doing what God wants, or perhaps simply does not care, to do what they believe is right?  Who’s playing God now?

As this was being written, Mississippi chimed in with their stupid fucking (it’s a pun) law.  Find the details for yourself, if you dare.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Hey Rocky, watch me pull a fetus out of my hat.                                                                                                       

Thought For The Day

Amendment II, Moron Nothing
                     or
No Brains, One Hit, No Error

May 17, 2019

You know the old expression, guns don't kill people, people kill people.  Since we cannot have sensible gun control, maybe it is time we institute a policy of people control.  You will have to get a license, and only after a two-year waiting period, will you be allowed to make another person.  And, while we’re at it, since the Chrump administration now wants to restrict immigration based on whether or not you are deemed useful, should we not similarly restrict procreation based on the likelihood that your offspring will not be knuckle-dragging morons…with guns? 

From Harper’s Weekly Review:

In Milwaukee, a gun owner with a concealed-carry permit threatened to shoot people he was arguing with, tried to pull out his weapon, and, in the ensuing struggle, shot and killed himself.  

All I can say is - Thank You.

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Thought For The Day

Mitch'n Accomplished

May 16, 2019

Mitch McConnell stood on the Senate Floor and solemnly declared, "Case closed, case closed" in response to the second phase of the Mueller investigation.  Malignant Mitch managed to keep a straight face as he displayed his utter contempt for the Constitution by claiming that the House should stop doing its sworn duty and leave poor, persecuted, snowflake Donald Chrump alone.  McConnell’s pronouncement hearkens back to another bizarre and idiotic claim made at the beginning and not the end of another lengthy debacle: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 

Add this one to your list of greatest hits folks. “I am not a crook.”  “If the president does it, then it is not illegal.”  “It depends on what your definition of ‘is’ is.”  “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.”  “Case closed, case closed.”

Another premature enunciation

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The Billionaire’s Bullionaire

America: Donald Chrump’s Newest Casino

May 15, 2019

Chrump impressed intelligent and poorly educated voters alike with his happy talk of running this country like a business.  Apparently, these people, if I may call them that, managed in only eight years to forget that they fell for the same bullshit from the last “businessman” who sold the electorate a similar bill of goods. 

In fairness, the eight years in question provided a good reason for many very fine people to become convenient amnesiacs.  Many people have now forgotten this, but between 2008 and 2016– possibly due to an economic, moral and war crime related hangover – America elected, and then re-elected an African American as president.  And he did not need the Electoral College or the Supreme Court to fix the election for him.  He did it the old fashioned way – by getting more votes than the other guy, apparently something only Democrats can do these days.

The other “businessman” at issue had much in common with the shit-weasel we are currently battling to survive.  Coincidentally enough, this other knucklehead was also born into money and did nothing of any value on his own.  Like the Donald The Menace, what he did manage to accomplish, was to lose money.  Both of these ne’er-do-wells dodged the draft.  Both also raided the U.S. treasury, under the guise of giving huge tax breaks to all Americans, while in fact handing almost all of that money to very few of the wealthiest Americans.  Unlike Chrump though, who throughout his life has only gotten drunk on his own ego, the previous schmuck was an honest-to-goodness alcofuckingholic.

Oil-ego hybrid

Unfortunately for us, both of these maroons intended to, and indeed did run the country like a business…in the only way they knew how – into the ground.  Both inherited much better situations than they created.  The first one almost destroyed the global economy, the current one is working hard to out-undo his predecessor, and like the previous putz, Chrump should not be misunderestimated.

It is well known by now that the amazing Chrump managed, against all odds – as the pun must go – to bankrupt a casino.  I’m sorry, I misspoke.  Chrump bankrupted four casinos.  His predecessor, George W. Bush – who also lost the popular vote, and skated into the White House, not just on the strength of the Electoral College, but got an added push from a criminal decision by the Supreme Court that stopped the vote recount in Florida – did not own casinos.  Bush instead was in the oil business, though it turned out there was little oil in his business.  Generally unable to find oil, Bush, Jr. instead built his “fortune” on discovering tax shelters.  During his time in office, despite illegally invading and literally bombing much of that country into dust, Bush was unable to achieve his ultimate goal of securing Iraq’s oil (which Chrump thought was a great idea, however war-crime-esque the notion).

Dictatorships ain’t got nothin’ on our dickheaderships

One thing that is better about Chrump is that he only dreams of committing war crimes, and has thus far contented himself with committing financial crimes.  He was not able to content himself with ridiong the Obama economic recovery wave to the end of his first term.  Chrump has decided instead to go to war, albeit economic (so far), with China.  Chrump’s t(i)rade war with China is already beating the crap out of American farmers, despite an initial bail-out of $12 billion and a new request for another $15 billion to con farmers into thinking that Chrump’s policies are not killing them.  Chrump, according to reports, is as usual ignoring his advisors and instead listening to his fast-food addled gut.

I. Mangrey reporting.  You say potato, and I say potato.  Let’s call the whole thing off.

Money Talks, Bullshit is President

Chrump “Speaks”

May 12, 2019

Der Furor is in full cornered rat mode.  His tongue is flailing, desperate to escape his foul mouth.  His thumbs are angrily stumbling across his phone’s keyboard, longing for the onset of paralysis.  His lies are proliferating faster than a horny horde of rabbits.  Fortunately, not all of his utterances make it to the evening news.  Unfortunately, the Paying Attention team is more than willing to expose any bullshit that might otherwise remain hidden.  Proceed with caution, and booze.

“Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you will lock up all these terrible people trying to coup Donald Chrump.  And if you want Chrump to win the Electoral College again, please start meddling right now.  I don’t think you should shoot them, but I’m not taking anything off the table…unless it’s from Burder King…that goes right in my mouth.  I’ve done everything you asked so far, so you owe me bigly.  And maybe you can find more of Crooked Hillary’s emails, you know, the ones that talk about how she paid for the very fake Mueller investigation on the Russia hoax.”

“As you know, the horrible Mueller report, written by one thousand angry Democrats, led by James Comey’s best friend “Bullshit” Bob Mueller, totally exonerated Donald Chrump.  That is why I’m claiming executive privilege over the report.  I just don’t want to rub it in everyone’s face.  I was so exonerated you can’t even believe it.  The most exoneration in history.  If anyone actually saw how exonerated I was the stock markets would crash and America would be over.  Even worse would be if Mueller testified on television.  Anyway, it’s my television and I will decide who gets on it and who doesn’t.  It would be stupid for Mueller to exonerate me all over again.  America gets it already.  Everyone agrees with me.  Did you see my incredible inauguration?  Everybody was there.  Now they all agree – NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION, just Chrump being Chrump.  Never did anything illegal, never lost hundreds of millions of dollars.  I only pretended to lose money to avoid paying taxes.  That makes me smart, and anyone who pays taxes, a loser.  I’m so rich, I lost more money than you’ll ever have.  I am making America as great as I am.  Believe me.”

“Now hundreds of angry Democrats, out to get me, want to subpoena my wonderful son Don, Jr.  My guy Richard Burr, who stands by me all the time, he even tipped me off about what vicious, dishonest Democrat Bob Mueller – who totally exonerated me, by the way – was up to, wants to dredge up my poor, totally innocent and completely exonerated boy. And what for?  Mueller already reported that my son was too stupid to break the law.  Case closed people.  Nobody even knows what subpoenas are.  Are they even legal?  I don’t think so.  I will not let anyone I ever told to break the law talk to these angry Dems.  They are not the president.  Besides, my administration is under audit, so I can’t let anyone see what I’m doing.  As soon as the audit is over, we can talk about other reasons why I must keep everything I do secret.  Anyway, no one is more honest, hard-working and brilliant than Don, Jr. – except his father.  He may not have won the biggest election of all time, but one day he will, thanks to me.  Or, I might just make him president by leaving him the White House in my will – either him or Ivanka.  Ivanka, my beautiful daughter.  Have I mentioned that if she wasn’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be grabbing her by the pussy?”

To paraphrase the late, great Molly Ivins,
“It probably sounded better in the original Russian.”

  

In other news of toxic stupidity…

I. Mangrey reporting.  It’s been a hard day’s night.

It's A Chrump World After All

The Long Harm of The Law

May 9, 2019

More Than 700 Lawyers Agree…

More than 700 career federal prosecutors have weighed in on the Mueller Report.  Seven. Hundred.  Not the version being pedaled by Donald Chrump and his consigliere Bill Barr.  If you read between the redactions, it is clear that life-long criminal Donald J. Chrump has committed a number of impeachable offenses – a number smaller than his 10,000 lies, but much larger than the number of demonstrably true statements.  The offenses include a raft of incidents of obstruction of justice, and a staggering degree of contact with Russian operatives determined to see Chrump elected president.  Chrump has had so many private meetings with Putin, many people are convinced that the two men are planning to make more pee-pee tapes, this time without the hookers.

If looks damage your brain

Chrump's new Roy Cohn, William Barr will soon be held in contempt of Congress.  Those who were aware of Barr's past shenanigans, all related to morphing democracy into monarchy, have held him in contempt for decades.

The perpetually perverse Mitch McConnell, parroting his feckless leader, declared the Mueller investigation “over.”  Nevertheless, Elizabeth Warren persisted.  Senator Warren took to the Senate floor after Malignant Mitch’s anti-Constitutional pronouncement and called for immediate impeachment proceedings based on the mountain of evidence collected by Mueller and clearly spelled out in his report.

Once Chrump was convinced that his personal attorney general Bill Barr had permanently obstructed justice by burying the full Mueller Report, lying about its “the context, nature, and substance" of the investigation, and refusing to answer a subpoena from Congress, he put in a 90-minute call to Vladimir Putin to whine about Mueller and celebrate his newly-imagined total exoneration.  Despite reassurances from his collusion buddy Putin, Chrump still has a giant fishhook firmly embedded in his orange maw.  Bing, bing, bing, bong, bong, Mueller’s silver hammer is about to come down upon his head. 

It’s Not Cheating if You Don’t Get Caught

We now know more clearly than ever that Chrump was fortunate to be born with an idiot-proof fortune.  It has been revealed in tax return transcripts dating from 1985-1994 that Chrump lost one billion dollars over that time, featuring losses of over $100,000 per year.  More losses than any other individual during that period.  He truly is, as he has told us, “the king of debt” not to mention America’s Biggest Loser…that is, up until January 20, 2017, when all Americas became even bigger losers.  This is likely just the tip of the financial incompetence iceberg that Chrump is desperately continuing to keep hidden.  Donald Chrump - Bullionaire.

The King of S(p)orts

More recently, Chrump gave the Medal of Freedom to golfer Tiger Woods, and was more upset about the controversial Kentucky Derby that he ever was about Russia meddled in our election.  It is understandable though because the apparent winner committed a foul, and ended up being disqualified.  If only people races could be conducted so fairly.  Chrump of course, felt that the cheater should have been awarded the victory since he won.  Shocking.  Not.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

Still Stupid After All These Years

Stupid, Arrogant, Psychotic - A Triple Threat

May 6, 2019

A slimy young weasel by the name of Donald J. Chrump spent his last two college years as an undergraduate student at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business and Finance.  He graduated – nowhere near the top of his class as he claims – in 1968.  He has threatened every school he ever attended against releasing any of his transcripts.  Unfortunately for Chrump, there were witnesses.

One of Chrump’s professors, the late William T. Kelley maintained a lasting impression of his former student.  Kelley taught Marketing at Wharton for 31 years until his retirement in 1982.  Dr. Kelley had vast experience as a business consultant, and authored a then-widely used textbook called Marketing Intelligence. 

According to a close friend of Kelley, “Dr. Bill was one of my closest friends for 47 years when we lost him at 94 about six years ago.  Professor Kelley told me 100 times over three decades that “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had.”  I remember his emphasis and inflection — it went like this — “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had.”  Dr. Kelley told me this after Trump had become a celebrity but long before he was considered a political figure.  Dr. Kelley often referred to Trump’s arrogance when he told of this — that Trump came to Wharton thinking he already knew everything.”

Today, Chrump’s stupidity and arrogance, monumental though they may be, pale in comparison to his psychosis.  On April 26 a reporter confronted the dumbest goddam student Professor William T. Kelley ever had about possibly running against Joe Biden who is four years older than Chrump.

Question: How old is too old to be president?

Asshole…I mean answer: “Well, I think…that uh, I just feel like a young man.  I’m so young.  I’m the youngest person.  I’m am a young, vibrant man.”

I. Mangrey reporting.  Nothin' up my sleeve.

Thought For The Day

 

Racist To The Finish Line

May 3, 2019

“There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.” – Goethe

Il Douche continues to flaunt his rabid racism.  He ignored the #1 overall NFL draft pick, an African American quarterback, preferring to place a congratulatory phone call to, and later fawn over, the #2 pick, a white guy who had made derogatory comments about Colin Kaepernick – the player who started the anthem protest movement.  But wait, there’s more.  Chrump decided to double (or is it triple) down on his undying admiration for vicious slave owner, treasonous general who was responsible for the deaths of more Americans than the combined total of all of this nation’s enemies since our founding, and America’s Biggest Loser – Robert E. Lee.  Team Chrump insists that their fearless leader never said anything wrong with his “very fine people on both sides” unforced error after the Charlottesville debacle.  Chrump himself described his original answer as “perfect.” 

Ignorance personified

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Motherf#&ker May I

The First Day of May Not 

May 1, 2019

May Day, with its long-standing tradition of honoring workers around the world, is all but ignored by most of America. The 2016 election saw Donald Chrump’s fake message of support for workers, Social Security, Medicare, the middle class and the Constitution resonate with and dupe many workers across the country – mostly white ones, but nonetheless enough to plunge our nation into Chrump’s Carnage Presidency. In honor of May Day, Hair Chrump, thought it would be a good time to display his undying solidarity with workers…I mean dictators the world over. Here is his statement:

“Beginning right now and from this day forward I, Donald J. Chrump – the greatest president in American history – by presidential decree, declare that there will no longer be a May 1^st. That date has been contaminated by fake political nonsense. So-called May Day is a disaster. An absolute and a total disaster. Workers can celebrate if they want to, but it must be in private, and on their own time from now on. No more of this prancing around trying to get attention. Or better pay, or working conditions or less harassment from their bosses. How greedy can you get? Workers are making too much money and raping rich people everywhere. I say enough already. I decree that today will now be known as April 31st. Tomorrow will still be May 2^nd. No more May 1^st. I only wish April originally had 31 days, then I would have been able to make April the only month with 32 days. That would have been great. And when you’re president, they let you do anything, grab ‘em by the calendar, or the whatever. Also, if I had been around during the Civil War maybe I would have figured out why it happened. I alone could have fixed it. It’s what I do. I fix things. I’m a fixer, believe me.” Chrump has said, “There's no reason for this. People don't realize, ya know, the Civil War — if you think about it, why? People don't ask that question, but why was there a Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?”*

Yeah, what the hell was all that Civil War stuff about anyway? No one really knows for sure. Can we have a do-over? I heard it had something to do with snakes’ rights or something like that. Or maybe it had something to do with workers in America. If only there was a way to find out why we had a Civil War. I think many people would like to know, and some of them are very fine people. But really, why didn’t the great (according to Chrump) Andrew Jackson and the other founding fathers take care of that Civil War nonsense. Maybe next time they will get it right.

Here’s hoping. 

Richard Thompson - Stuck On The Treadmill



I. Mangrey reporting. Mayday, mayday.

*non-alternative quote