Thought For The Day

What The Fuck is Wrong With Kentucky?

July 31, 2019

This has nothing, well little, to do with McConnell's latest anti-democratic dereliction of duty.  There are so many heinous acts from which to choose.  And how the hell is it that the United States of America, in the year of some Lord 2019, needs to pass a law that requires political campaigns to report any attempt by foreign actors to the authorities?  Anyway, at the risk of being repetitive, I believe it just cannot be said too often…

Fuck. Mitch. McConnell.

And, while I’m at it, Fuck Ayn-Rand Paul too – the other senator from Kenfuckingtucky.  Apparently, this racist bullshit is contagious.  Rand Paul (R-KY Jelly-for-brains), hot on the heels of trying to stop the 9/11 First Responders Bill (so he can save the money needed for heroes to give away as more tax cuts for the least deserving among us) offered up the following little ditty on Ilhan Omar: “While I’m not saying we forcibly send her anywhere, I’m willing to contribute to buy her a ticket to go visit Somalia, and I think she can look and maybe learn a little bit about the disaster that is Somalia — that has no capitalism, has no God-given rights guaranteed in a constitution, and has about seven different tribes that have been fighting each other for the last 40 years.” 

How thoughtful, thanks for your white-mansplaining you malignant little twerp.  I think it is time for Baby Rand to take his empty head back to The Fountainhead where he belongs.

These two blood-sucking leeches on the body politic are Kentucky’s two senators.  There must be something seriously wrong with the water in Kentucky.

McConnell, who has clearly never made a fist before,
celebrates solidarity with Chrump and Russia

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Thought For The Day

The Hundredth Democrat

July 29, 2019

The hundredth monkey effect is a hypothetical phenomenon in which a new behavior or idea is claimed to spread rapidly by unexplained means from one group to all related groups once a critical number of members of one group exhibit the new behavior or acknowledge the new idea. 

On the heels of the Mueller testimony, more than a dozen Democratic members of the House of Representatives joined the almost 90 who had previously gone on record calling for the impeachment of the totally not exonerated, master of Russian collusion, Donald Chrump.  That puts the current number at more than 100.

Clearly, members of Congress are not monkeys, but hopefully it is possible that they can learn almost as well and perhaps even as quickly as their hairier cousins.

Signifying Monkey – Oscar Brown, Jr.

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ITMFA (If You’re Not Sure, Google It)

Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella and Don't Get a Mouthful of Rain

July 27, 2019

Remember the 2018 midterm elections?  Remember how we were hoping for a Blue Wave and we were so disappointed on election night because it looked like things did not go nearly as well as we wanted?  Remember how as time passed and the full scope of the beating put on the Republican’ts in the House eventually looked like a Blue Tsunami?  Well, do ya?  Hold onto that thought for a moment.

As you mull over the Mueller testimony, you might be thinking, “That Mueller guy, he didn’t look so hot and he did not seem to say very much.  I was hoping for so much more.”  On the other hand, if you are a Fux News watcher, you are probably thinking, “What Mueller testimony?  You mean the one where he totally exonerated the no collusion of Donald Chrump?”

As Mueller himself shrinks in the rear-view mirror, in his wake there seems to be a bit of a tingling sensation.  That uncomfortable itching, burning and occasional bleeding that started four years ago and just won’t go away, can be cured.

Mueller said enough to cause possibly 10 Democratic members of Congress to finally buy their tickets for the Impeachment Train.  House Judiciary chairman Jerrold Nadler announced yesterday that articles of impeachment are under consideration.  This means that Pelosi is inquiring as to the location of the ticket window at the very least.  Who knows, she might already have her ticket just in case – Pelosi is one of the wealthiest members of Congress, she can afford to throw away a few bucks if she decides ultimately not to ride.  Three Republican’ts have bailed on re-election bids already.  The NAACP voted to impeach Chrump last week. 

Our political GPS has rerouted us around Nancy Pelosi’s (perhaps well-intentioned) road block to impeachment.  Mueller went out of his way not to say the “I” word out loud.  Recall the following exchange with Rep. Veronica Escobar (D-TX):

Escobar: At your May 29, 2019 press conference, you explained t that, “The Constitution requires a process other than the criminal justice system to formally accuse a sitting president of wrongdoing.”  That process other than the criminal justice system, for accusing a president of wrongdoing, is that impeachment?

Mueller: I’m not going to comment on that. 

Escobar (after flashing a wry smile): In your report you also wrote that you did not want to “potentially pre-empt Constitutional processes for addressing presidential misconduct.”  For the non-lawyers in the room, what did you mean by “potentially pre-empt Constitutional processes?”

Mueller: I’m not going to try to explain that. 

Escobar (after another wry smile): What are those Constitutional processes?

Mueller: I think I heard you mention at least one.

Escobar: Impeachment, correct?

Mueller: I’m not going to comment. 

Send a tube to your representative

Impeachment seems inescapable at this point.  Mueller clearly does not believe Chrump is innocent, and he probably, after 22 months of wading through Chrump’s self-serving, treasonous garbage heap of a campaign and his toxic, bordering on fatal presidency, knows in his heart and mind that Chrump is guilty.  He acknowledged that Chrump was generally dishonest in his answers to the Special Counsel’s written questions.  Chrump flat out failed an open-book test.  Since it is clear that his stupidity is dwarfed by his dishonesty, and since Chrump’s lying in this case is a federal crime, there is no other path but, to coin a phrase, impeach the mother fucker already.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Break on through to the other side.

SPECIAL BONUS FUN

Mueller Madness UPDATE



July 26, 2019

NO COLLUSION. TOTAL EXONERATION.  I'M MELTING.

I. Mangrey photoshopping. 

Mueller Madness

The Marine and The Maroon

July 25, 2019

Special Counsel Robert Mueller begrudgingly obeyed the subpoenas that brought him in front of two congressional committees, television cameras and the national spotlight.  His answers were generally brief, mostly mono-syllabic.  A large percentage of his ‘longer answers’ were simply Mueller explaining that he would not answer the question.  There were a few more substantive and interesting moments, despite the fact that Mueller’s ex-boss – serial liar and presidential-protector Bill Barr, who once said he had no problem with Mueller testifying, presumably because Barr told the world that Mueller had totally exonerated his client – who, on the eve of his impending testimony essentially instructed Mueller to keep his mouth shut.  

Whatever else Bill Barr might be, he is unlikely so dim that he believes what Chrump’s blind, deaf and stunningly dumb devotees – and perhaps even Chrump himself – believe, that Chrump was totally exonerated with a side of NO COLLUSION.

He described Chrump as “giving some boost to what is and should be illegal activity” perpetrated by Wikileaks.  Mueller used the phrase “problematic is an understatement” in describing Chrump repeated encouragement of the help he was getting from Wikileaks.  Some might call such boosting of illegal activity aiding and abetting, or perhaps even criminal conspiracy, or dare I say – COLLUSION. 

Mueller also testified that Chrump misled the probe by being frequently dishonest in his written answers to questions posed by the Special Prosecutor.  He described Chrump’s answers as “incomplete,” “imprecise,” “inadequate” and “insufficient.  Mueller characterized Chrump’s responses to the Special Counsel’s inquiries as “generally untruthful.”

The Special Counsel agreed to the characterization of Chrump as “unpatriotic” – not the best adjective for a president.  Chrump’s idea of patriotic of course is an unruly crowd kissing his ass and chanting “Send her back!” in reference to an African American citizen who Chrump had previously advised to “go back where she came from.”  It is possible that Donald Chrump is mistaken, or more likely psychotic to a historic degree.  He might be, as he likes to say, the most psychotic person in history.  Chrump is unquestionably the most psychotic man ever to hold the office he now holds in his tiny, little hands several days a week, often for several hours a day.

Mueller also surprised one of his Republican’t inquisitors by clearly stating that a president could be indicted and prosecuted for obstruction of justice once he is out of office.  This after once again making it clear that his investigation absolutely did not exonerate Chrump.

Unfortunately, there is still an alternative reality, based on and disseminating alternative facts.  Kellyanne Conjob told us about “alternative facts” quite some time ago.  They are the white bread and I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-butter of this faux administration.

“This was a very big day for our country. This was a very big day for the
Republican Party. And you could say it was a great day for me,
but I don't even like to say that.” (actual quote)

 

As one would expect, the Chrump described this very bad, incredibly horrible day as a complete victory.  Maybe the biggest victory in all of human history.  NO EXONERATION.  TOTAL COLLUSION.  Or something like that.

I. Mangrey recovering.

Making Chrump Racist Again…Still

America Has a Shit-hole President

July 17, 2019

A shameless, vicious fact-finder took a picture of Der Furor’s notes, from which he fashioned his recent follow-up attack on four congresswomen of color who dared disagree with His Royal Anus.  Maybe Chrump is jealous because all of them got where they are by winning the popular vote.  Or perhaps he cannot stand the fact that these women came by their color naturally.  Or, and I bring this up with the greatest reluctance, perhaps he is just a racist, fucking asshole of a fake president who should have been impeached already.

Is that a shadow or is Chrump growing a mustache?

Chrump said that these duly elected members of Congress hate America.  He called them racists, and tweeted that if they have so many complaints about America they should leave and “to back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came.”  First of all, no way he wrote that himself.  Second, one of the big reasons these countries are in such dire straights is U.S. foreign policy. 

If the United States spent half the money and energy on helping our most immediate neighbors have thriving economies and vibrant democracies that we spend on raping and pillaging their economies and propping up corporate-friendly dictators, the countries Chrump refers to as “shit-hole countries” would not be places people felt the need to flee by the thousands. 

Chrump’s written-by-someone-else notes, reminding him of just
the right hateful, anti-American drivel he had to vomit up

This from the guy who apparently thought America sucked before he came along to make America great again (a slogan he plagiarized from Reagan).  This from the guy who lost the popular vote by a huge margin and then, during his inauguration gave a bone-chilling, mind-numbing, soul-crushing speech that became known as the “American Carnage” address.  The guy who accused his predecessor of not being born in this country – with transparently racist malice and absolutely zero proof.  And the guy who, along with his father was sued by the Department of Justice (which Chrump now owns) over charges of racial discrimination for not renting apartments to African Americans.  The Chrumps settled out of court, with no admission of guilt.  If Donald Chrump is not a racist, then God didn’t make little green apples…or anything else.

Last night House Speaker Nancy Pelosi put to a vote a resolution “condemning President Trump's racist comments directed at Members of Congress.”  While this will enshrine Der Furor’s unending racism for all of history, it remains to be seen if this will have any effect now, or even before all of you reading this are dead.  The bipartisan vote of 240-187 included one Independent and a pathetic four Republican’ts.  The party that has not been the party of Lincoln for over 100 years, and really, never was, despite current House Republican’ts – who have lashed themselves to the self-admitted sexual assaulter, Russian-colluder, unrepentant bigot, and all-around scumbag Chrump – claims to the contrary.  This is the party of Chrump and with any luck he will be their albatross for many years to come – long after he is either impeached or humiliated at the polls in 2020.

The party of Chrump was not upset by their party’s leader making racist statements.  But, they were apoplectic that the House Speaker had the nerve to label those statements as racist and to condemn Chrump’s racist statements on the House floor.  Suddenly, Republican’ts are concerned about decorum?  Maybe they should have thought about decorum before elevating an amoral, racist narcissist without a shred of shame or decency to lead their party, and then our nation.  Speaking of decorum, I am reminded of another breach of decorum on Capitol Hill by another notable Republican’t – Dick Cheney.  Allow me to address the House Republican’ts by quoting Cheney’s comment to Sen. Patrick Leahy, “Go fuck yourselves.”

We Can’t Breathe

Meanwhile, the Racist-in-chief’s personal attorney general, continuing his quest to dissolve American justice (such as it is), made certain no one would mistake him for a non-racist by refusing to pursue federal civil rights charges against the New York police officer involved in Eric Garner’s death. 

The heinous crime against humanity that resulted in Garner’s death was allegedly selling illegal cigarettes on the street.  Garner, a very large man, was ultimately attacked by more than a half dozen NYPD officers, who were all on top of him, one putting all of his weight into pressing Garner’s head against the pavement.  One of the officers – Daniel Pantaleo – put Garner in a choke hold as evidenced by the now infamous video.  Garner repeatedly pleaded with the officers, gasping “I can’t breathe” 12 times before losing consciousness.  He died an hour after arriving at the hospital. 

Eric Garner’s murder, caught on video, to no avail

Garner’s death was ruled a homicide by the doctor who performed his autopsy.  Pantaleo’s chokehold was determined to be the cause of death.

Chalk up another one for the “good” guys in the white skin.

I. Mangrey reporting. 

Of Balls and Courts

Courting Disaster

July 15, 2019

As part of the DC Circuit Court appeal hearing to determine whether Congress has the power to investigate a president, Chrump’s mouthpieces are trying to convince a judge that the House Oversight Committee lacks any power to look into the president’s personal finances.

Judge Millett: Imagine you have in the future, the most corrupt President known to humankind openly flaunting, doing it.  What law could Congress pass?

Mouthpiece for Chrump: I can’t think of one…

I. Mangrey: Is that because you are incapable of coherent thought?  Is it because you are worried about saying the wrong thing and incurring the wrath of your extremely unstable, non-genius boss?  And judge, should we assume you were being ironic?  The “most corrupt president known to humankind openly flaunting, doing it”…“in the future?”  Is this criminal clod not corrupt enough to fit your description?  Right here, right now?

For his part, Chrump insisted, contrary to all evidence, that he is a good little boy who never did anything wrong, and it turns out, has “rights at a level that nobody has ever seen before.”  Is he saying that there are sections in the Constitution that have never been seen before, which confer magical powers to this president.  Perhaps they were written in invisible ink.  Apparently, no other president, nor the thousands of lawyers, Constitutional scholars and political experts were sufficiently stable geniuses to ferret out these super-secret presidential powers.

Chrump shared some of his most delusional moronic thoughts, “Rod Rosenstein and Bill Barr said there’s no obstruction.  And also interesting: Number one, there’s no crime.  And how do you obstruct when there’s no crime?  Also, take a look at one other thing.  It’s a thing called ‘Article II.’  Nobody ever mentions Article II.  It gives me all of these rights at a level that nobody has ever seen before.  We don’t even talk about Article II.  So: They ruled no collusion, no obstruction.  Very simple.”

Apparently, Der Furor just discovered Article II of the Constitution.  By discovered, of course, I mean that one of his 500 lawyers rubbed his nose in it – in part to attempt to teach the old dog a new trick, in part to get him to stop pissing and shitting on the Constitution.  Naturally, Article II, like most other writings longer than 280 characters, with concepts beyond the grasp of most fifth graders, was too complex for the Child-in-chief to understand.  However, Chrump clearly got the point that Article II has something to do with presidential powers and that if he said the words “Article II” enough times, it would impress his dimly lit minions – most of whom are as clueless about Article II as their intellectually idle idol.

Speaking of Courts…

The Supreme Court and others have made it clear that the Chrumpublicans’ plan to use the Census to make America white again was not – for those who believe in laws – legal.  That is likely to be nothing more than an inconvenience for such a dedicated and hateful bunch of white supremacists.

Chrump’s Principal Deputy Press Secretary Hogan Gidley:  “We looked at inserts, we looked at all types of options.  And the president said: ‘Listen. I’m not going to be beholden to courts anymore. I have the legal authority to find out this information. The American people deserve to know it. So I’m moving forward with this method.”

Not going to be beholden to courts anymore.  Anymore?  When will someone stand up to this cowardly bully?

Speaking of Balls…

The so-called president, who has no balls – figuratively speaking, as far as we know – took to Twitter to show off his racist bona fides once again.  It is not like anyone doubted or needed reminding of what a pathetic, brain-dead bigot we are dealing with.  Der Furor shat out a series of tweets attacking four high-profile non-white congresswomen for speaking their minds.  All four were elected in 2018 and have been butting heads with Speaker Nancy Pelosi, as well as the Butthead-in-chief.  Three of the four are natural-born Americans and the fourth is a naturalized citizen. 

Apparently, Chrump The Birther cannot fathom people of color actually being born in America, nor can he fathom the raison d’être for this nation.  No, it is not slavery and racism.  No, it is not genocide and racism.  It is, at least in theory, E Pluribus Unum – out of many, one.  Very few of us can trace our distant ancestry back to this land.  Those who can, have little or no power to wield, and practically nothing left of their birthright. 

Notice the 140,334 likes and weep

Naturally, in order to keep the four-year erection going for his racist base, Chrump then demanded apologies from these women for their “foul language & racist hatred.”  As always, and this cannot be repeated too often, the bloated man-baby is talking about himself.  The only surprise is that he did not call them misogynists.

This is what racists look like:

At the very least, racist enablers – except
the one on the right – actual racist

 Oh, and this guy:

 
Yes, me racist.  What of it?


And this is what a misogynist sounds (and looks) like:

Nice fake-tan and fake-tan line, pale face

I. Mangrey restraining.  Hold me back.

Too Many Psychos Spoil the Broth

You Can’t Shut Your Lyin’ Mouth

July 13, 2019

No matter how hard the Russians try, no matter how many other foreign interests Chrump invites to help him, no one has done more, for decades, and continues to vigorously pursue nation-wide disruption of our elections, than the Republican’t Party.  One of their latest attempts, of course, is weaponizing the 2020 Census in order to instill fear in non-whites.  Attorney General Bill Barr is just the latest player in this ongoing, sickening saga.

Bill Barr took his lips away from Donald Chrump’s hind quarters just long enough to spit out a few more lies.  First, Barr tried to paint Chrump’s abject surrender on the Republican’t dream of adding a citizenship question to the Census questionnaire as a big win for the Loser-in-chief.  Then Barr swung for the fences.

Barr decided to respond to “reports” that Chrump had considered using an executive order to override the Supreme Court’s decision to nix the overtly racist plan to disenfranchise non-Republican’t voters via the Census, Barr said, “This has been based on rank speculation and nothing more.  As should be obvious, this has never been under consideration.  We have already accepted that any new decision to add a citizenship question to the Census would be subject to judicial review.”  There is simply no lie too big, small or blatantly disprovable for these political feces-flinging monkeys to hurl at us. 

Previously unreleased photo of Barr’s swearing in at ceremony

Perhaps Barr had his bloated head too far up his own or his boss’s ass to have heard Chrump’s own response to a reporter’s question on the possibility of issuing an executive order.  To quote the executive orderer himself, “We’re thinking about doing that.  It’s one of the ways; we have four or five ways we can do it.  It’s one of the ways that we’re thinking about doing it very seriously.  We could also add an addition on so we can start the printing now and maybe do an addendum after we get a positive decision. So we’re working on a lot of things, including an executive order.”  Case closed.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thought For The Day

Unusually Cruel and Punishing Presidency

July 11, 2019

The Constitution guarantees against cruel and unusual punishment, but leaves the door wide open for a cruel and unusual president.

This man belongs in a home, not the People’s House

Special Bonus Thought

Der Furor is now claiming he was dating ex-Playboy Playmate Karen MacDougal for the articles.  And he was dating Stormy Daniels so she would spank him with the articles.

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William of Orange

Billy Barr, the Boor

July 9, 2019

Chrump’s long sought-after Roy Cohn, William "Low" Barr should be choking on his words more than he is, but I guess if you are willing to work for Donald Chrump rather than for the American people – as Barr’s job description would suggest – you are more than ready to fuck the country at every turn.

Words to Choke On

Barr previously said he had no problem with Robert Mueller testifying to Congress about the report he submitted.  That all changed once Mueller was subpoenaed and is now due to testify on July 17.  Now that Mueller is scheduled to voice aspects of his report in public, under oath, Barr has been changing his diaper on an almost hourly basis – or so we are saying.

Barr, with malice of forethought, lied about what the Mueller report concluded.  He delayed releasing even a redacted version of the report in order to keep his fabricated version in the public’s mind as long as possible so as to weaken the impact of Mueller’s actual words once they fought their way to the surface.

"Besides, as the vilest Writer has his Readers, so the greatest Liar has his Believers; and it often happens, that if a Lie be believ’d only for an Hour, it has done its Work, and there is no farther occasion for it. Falsehood flies, and the Truth comes limping after it; so that when Men come to be undeceiv’d, it is too late; the Jest is over, and the Tale has had its Effect…"

                                                                           Jonathan Swift, 1710

To make matters more despicable, Barr told reporters what he thought about Mueller testifying on Capitol Hill, “To me the only reason for doing that is to create some kind of public spectacle and if Bob decides that he doesn’t want to be subject to that then the Department of Justice would certainly back him.”  It is always comforting to know that the U.S. Attorney General thinks subpoenas can simply be ignored.  Now, I am not a lawyer, but that sounds strikingly like some form of witness tampering.

Sex Traffic Jam

Meanwhile, it looks like Barr will have to recuse himself from any legal wranglings involving Jeffrey Epstein, who currently stands accused of sex trafficing with minors.  Epstein got a shout-out back in 2002 from a fellow player: “I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy.  He’s a lot of fun to be with.  It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it – Jeffrey enjoys his social life.”  That not-so-faint praise came from some guy named Donald Trump, who now denies he had any relationship with this terrific guy. 

One reason Barr may be recusing himself could be the fact that his father hired Epstein – before he was a billionaire, but not necessarily before he was a pedophile – to teach high school.  Epstein was not even a college graduate, and one year later, Barr the Elder resigned from his job as the school district brought in, according “an outside committee to study the school and to assess its operation under Mr. Barr.”  Shortly after that, Epstein left his “teaching” position and went to Wall Street.

The current Labor Secretary Alex Acosta aided and abetted Epstein’s escape from justice on similar charges in 2008 when Acosta was U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Florida, where Epstein was terrorizing young women at the time.

Are these the best fucking people or what?

I. Mangrey reporting.  Tell me why.

Double Thought For The Day

The RepubliCo Party

July 7, 2019

Republican’ts are running into some resistance – though not from five Supreme Court Justices – in their quest to eliminate non-white voting.  It is undisputed fact that Republican’ts have despised electoral politics since the Emancipation Proclamation, and perhaps more so since women were finally granted the right to vote.  Female suffrage was particularly problematic since many women are white, which makes disenfranchising them much more challenging – hence the brutal redistricting and attempts to weaponize the Constitutionally mandated and protected Census.  To co-opt a phrase – By any means necessary.

Whether gerrymandering or illegally rigging the Census, Republican’ts have been plying this theme since the end of the Civil War…and of course, when the Republican’ts were the Democrats – before the Civil War.  Don’t be surprised when they announce they are considering another way to weight the system in favor of white people.  Republican’ts are working on language that will allow the Supreme Court to sanction having the votes of non-whites count as 3/5 of a vote.  What the heck, it was good enough for our Founding Fathers.

Our reporting has also uncovered plans by RepubliCo to allow corporations (like RepubliCo itself) to vote as people.  The idea is to find a way to provide more votes for larger corporations and somewhat fewer for smaller ones.  Kind of like, from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs – only upside down and backwards.

This Just In(sane)

Not many people knew the real story of how the Revolutionary War ended, until they heard the real story during Donald Chrump’s Super Ego Military (oh yeah, and Fourth of July) Extravaganza brought to you involuntarily by your very own tax dollars.  The historically challenged (and I mean that in every way possible) Chrump told the nation that George Washington achieved final victory in the Revolutionary War of 1812 because his “army manned the air, it ran the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do.”  Once victory was achieved, the Continental Army landed on the moon and claimed America for white people.

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Tanks Alot

Bend Over America, and Get Ready For…

Donald’s Very, Very, Very Big Fourth of July
Excruciating Ego Extravaganza

 

 

July 4, 2019

“There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.” – Goethe

“There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in power.” – Ed Venture

Il Douche continues his abominable pseudo-presidency – smooching with Putin, cuddling with Kim, and practically blowing bin Salman.  Chrump is clearly more comfortable with America’s adversaries than with our friends, and more competent with stagecraft than statecraft.

While on his all-expenses-paid family junket to the G20, Chrump tweeted himself into a dream date with boyfriend Kim Jong Un.  While most pundits are saying that Chrump is poised to completely cave on nuclear disarmament of North Korea, he continues to claim that he is making a great deal with the man he loves – no, not Putin, the other one.  Chrump’s impromptu tryst with Kim, which surprised everyone including his own people, was nothing more than a PR stunt meant to take the focus away from the newly headline-grabbing Democratic primary, and drag it back onto himself.  Chrump’s historic histrionic butthead-a-butthead is sure to go down as ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Tanks For The Memories

In service to co-opting the Fourth of July for his own amusement, Chrump is willing to screw the troops, by making them do grunt work on July 4^th.  Military brass is only reluctantly following the orders of their Mad King.  Chrump is blithely willing to risk the streets of Washington, DC and the Arlington Memorial Bridge in order to impress his private party.  Der Furor is closing off the Lincoln Memorial and half of the Reflecting Pool and is planning to give an illegal campaign speech to amuse his donors and other Chrumpian ne’er-do-wells – with his long-dreamed-of military parade.  Chrump’s latest folly boasts (literally) military jet fly-overs and a parade of dozens of tanks weighing over 60 tons, which may be more than the Capital’s infrastructure can handle.  It makes sense though, that a loose cannon would want a bunch of tanks and military aircraft wasting taxpayer dollars to massage his enormous, ever-expanding ego.

Prize-winning sand sculpture – Liberty Crumbling by Damon Langlois

According to reports, Donald’s Very, Very, Very Big Fourth of July Excruciating Ego Extravaganza will be wasting $2.5M of National Park Service money that was meant for park improvements.  I guess for someone who has never seen a national park he didn’t want to turn into a golf course, and who repeatedly ran like a scared little girl from the military claiming brain spurs, or whatever, when it was his time to serve his country.  If Chrump had even one patriotic bone spur in his body and a fraction of the money he claims to have, he would foot the bill for this military masturbation himself.

Will millions of dollars worth of tanks end up in the drink under the Arlington Memorial Bridge?  Will military jets accidentally deploy missiles or crash into each other over the skies of Washington, DC, killing and/or maiming hundreds of Chrump’s closest donors?  Will the Orange Grinch who stole the Fourth of July be mercilessly booed as he gives his latest campaign speech on the National Mall?  In the impertinent words of Donald J. Chrump, “We’ll find out.”

Louis XIV is alleged to have said, “The State is me.”  Donald Chrump would never make such a statement.  He has no awareness of anything like a State and he could never utter such a coherent, however demented, statement.  Chrump’s actions on the other hand, are unabashedly transparent.  There is no State, there is only himself.

Mere words cannot describe my longing to forget he ever existed, let alone his having eviscerated all common decency, social and political decorum, and Constitutional norms in his pathetic, perverted quest for undivided, unending, however enormously undeserved attention. 

We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when

I. Mangrey reporting.  Why don’t we do it in the road?  Because it was destroyed by tanks that’s why.                                                                                                    

                                                                                          

An Open Letter to a Closed “Mind”

July 1, 2019

“Dear” Mr. Chrump,

I hope you can take a few moments out of planning your, self-congratulatory (kissing your own ass) military display/private party, disrespecting and disgracing our nation’s birthday (It is being renamed for now – the Fourth of You Lie, in your honor.), to have someone read this letter to you.  It is admittedly comforting to have you kissing your own ass for a change, especially after your recent marathon ass-kissing extravaganza of murderous thugs Putin, Kim and bin Salman while you were overseas.  I know you are jealous of them since you are not permitted to murder those who oppose you, and that has to be hard on such an insecure little man like yourself.  I know you still believe you could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose any support.  You are probably right.  If only you had the guts to try it.

I will try to keep this brief (short) because I know you do not like, or possibly even know how to, read.  I will try to keep you interested by using pictures as well.  And, to make it even more likely you will not be frightened (scared) by seeing words, it will be written in crayon.  I thought about making it ALL CAPS, but that’s your schtick.

Everyone, including you, knows that to you (Donald Chrump) the most important thing in the world (the big round thing you’re trying to burn up), perhaps even more than money, is television ratings.  And crowd size.  And an almost fanatical devotion to yourself.  Okay, so some people will say that’s three things, but only those fake, liberal, losers who can count.  Anyway, there is one surefire way for you to be seen by the largest audience in the history of audiences.  And I am not talking about just in America (the country you live in, but really, really hate).  The whole world (all those people who are not you, including all those shithole countries) will be watching.

I personally guarantee that your impeachment (the “I” word) hearings will be watched all over the world.  Think of the bragging rights.  Think of the ratings. 

After your big impeachment show series finale, you can have a super great new reality show.  You deserve it.  Bigly.  To save you the trouble of coming up with an original (new) idea – something you are incapable of – the good people here at Paying Attention (you can tell they’re good because they despise every little thing about you) have something special prepared.  It will be necessary to keep you off the streets once your fake presidency comes crashing down around you, and your name is spoken only in filthy shadows and in the confines of militia compounds.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to shut the fuck up, but you can check out your new show here.

Very, very truly not yours,

I. Mangrey