Wedding Announcement For The Day

And They Said It Would Never Happen

September 30, 2019

The happy couple has been seen here and there, teasing the papparazzi for years now.  Finally, it seems that the match many thought was made in heaven, or somewhere, but time after time after time defied all logic, will at long last materialize.  Forget the latest Hollywood hook-up.  Forget the latest Royal wedding.  This will be the couple everyone is talking about for many, many years to come.  Twitter will be all atwitter.  Thousands of people will be dancing in the streets.  This coupling will draw the biggest crowds in history, in any history. 

Introducing…

Consummation might have to wait a while, but it will be spectacular 

This has been your Paying Attention Wedding Announcement For The Day.

You're welcome.

Paying Attention's Daily Disaster

 

Making Donald Chrump Sweat Again

September 28, 2019

Donald Chrump is unraveling faster and faster as impeachment looms larger and larger.  Like an honest hair stylist bent on cropping the painfully-dyed weasel on Chrump’s head into a human-esque hair style, Chrump’s impeachment is as frightening a prospect as he has ever faced.  Chrump, who has been leaking national security secrets since the early days of his regime, has finally managed to step over the finish-line-in-the-sand.  Even Congress cannot ignore Chrump’s extortion of Ukraine, withholding military aid for assistance in fabricating dirt on Joe Biden, and of course, Hillary Clinton.

Sometimes tweeting on the toilet can get a bit messy

It is even rumored that some members of Congress will not be going on recess in order to expedite the impeachment inquiry.  Secretary of Shit Mike Pompeo has already been subpoenaed for documents.  In the subpoena wings are such highly placed dim lights as Mike Pence, Bill Barr, Rudy Giuliani, John Bolton and some unknown number of White House officials with likely knowledge of Chrump’s most recently scrutinized violation of his oath of office/threat to national security/flaunting of the Constitution.  Not to mention the Ukraine extortion, etc. whistleblower himself.

Stock up on popcorn.

This has been your Paying Attention Daily Disaster. 

You're welcome.

Goofy’s Choice

None From Column ‘A’ and None From Column ‘B’

September 27, 2019

Perhaps it is a fair question, but I am tired of hearing it, pained by having to ponder it, and sick almost to death of its very existence.  Yet another person asked me if I missed George W. Bush.  The answer is easy.  NO.  George W. Bush was (and I assume still is) a fucking moron surrounded by vicious, power-hungry, greedy people.  They inflicted wide-ranging, long-term damage to America and the world.  At the time I could not imagine a worse president.  I used to think I had a pretty vivid imagination.

Now all I have is a vivid indigestion

I admit that Donald Chrump a much bigger asshole, a more serious threat to the very fabric of our democracy and our society.  The recent exposure of his mob-boss-like attempt to extort help from Ukrainian comedian-turned-president Volodymyr Zelensky is merely the exclamation point on an interminable, comma-inundated list of criminal, treasonous, amoral and idiotic offenses.  The help Donny Douchebag sought, of course, was solicited to dig up dirt on Chrump’s latest opponent, Joe Biden, as well as further attempts to go after Hillary Clinton.  Let go of it already you Jell-O-brained, malignant narcissist.

Side note: Chrump’s insane phone call with Zelensky, which a whistleblower reported to the Inspector General, who in turn described those concerns as “credible and urgent,” was so heinous that even Moscow Mitch had to join in the unanimous vote in the Senate, calling for the release of the entire whistleblower report. 

Neither of these actual asshole/alternative presidents was able to win the popular vote before their first term.  One of them did not actually win the Electoral College and had to be illegally appointed by a partisan Supreme Court – who made clear their illegal, disgraceful decision in Bush v. Gore was never to be used as precedent in any future case.  Hopefully this current imposter and poor excuse for a sentient being will not be afforded a second term.

The Bush/Cheney regime was historically bad and dangerous.  Or so it seemed at the time.  Now we have a narcissistic, sociopathic megalomaniac the likes of which this country has never seen.  George W. Bush was a horrible president…on steroids.  Donald Chrump is a horrible president…on the brown acid.

Stay away from the brown acid and the Orange Gas Cloud

Yes, when you have the misfortune of seeing #43 these days, until the part of your brain that catalogues and on occasion involuntarily dredges up horrors and misery from days gone by recalls the inconceivable damage done by Bush the Younger, he seems an innocuous doofus.  But alas, time cannot, must not, dilute the high crimes and mass-demeanors committed by Bush/Cheney.  Ever.  Ultimately, trying to decide which is worse, #43 or #45, is the choice between being hog-tied and jettisoned into a festering cesspool that is 40 feet deep or into one that is 50 feet deep.  Your choice.

I. Mangrey remembering.  Carpe Dumbass!

You Can't Make This Stuff Up...or Can You

They Don't Call Me Nostradamus For Nothing
(To be honest, no one actually calls me Nostradamus.)

September 25, 2019

Most of you are probably aware that yesterday, September 24, 2019, is being heralded as a historic day - the day Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi formally declared that the impeachment of Donald Chrump was underway.  It was a long time coming, but yesterday it became official.  Millions of people were dancing in the streets of Washington, DC and cities all across the country and most likely, the world, or at least that is what we at Paying Attention are reporting.  For a moment there, I will admit to being a little worried that the Spleen from Queens was poised to outsmart everyone by having a trick up his sleeve, but there was no trick, not even one of his tiny little hands.  It turned out to be his badly colored, bloated head, and it was not up his sleeve, if you get my drift.  No friends, by most accounts this is considerably worse than we thought it was, and Team Chrump seems to be flailing in the breeze. 

But that is not why I brought you all here today... 
As most of you are very unlikely to remember, Paying Attention has for several years published its end-of-the-year Predictions, Prophecies, Prognostications, Projections and Piffle for the year to come.  After yesterday's big news, something told me to have a look at our predictions for 2019.  We thought you might be interested in seeing what we served up last December.  While the final nail has yet be hammered in completely, we still felt that perhaps just a tiny, little, Chrump-hand-sized pat on the back might be warranted for at least one of last year's predictions.
Ed Venture
Managing Editor, Paying Attention

September 24, 2019 – Happy Impeachment Day

Democrats tried very hard to avoid bringing charges of impeachment against un-prezident Donald J. Chrump.  They worked hard to finally get universal health care over the hump.  They fought tooth and nail to get funding for infrastructure and voting security.  Ultimately, the continuing crime wave coming out of the White House made it necessary for Congress to launch several hundred investigations into the Chrump Crime Family, Chrump’s extensive, hostage-like relationship with Russia, repeated episodes of obstruction of justice, endless displays of mental illness, and a variety of miscellaneous infractions and felonies.  They subsequently had no choice but to bring two dozen articles of impeachment against the most criminal person ever to hold the office of President of the United States.  Predictably, Chrump bragged.

The impeachment process is not a quick one.  Vegas odds had Chrump, as usual, caving to the pressure and leaving in the middle of the night before the process can get off the ground.  It turns out the odds-makers had it right.  Soon after the stench of impeachment became overwhelming, the Gingerhead Man disappeared.  All he left behind was the skeletal remains of the United States and another stupid tweet.

 

A passerby caught this photo with his infrared camera:

It will be interesting to see if the Secret Service protects now ex-prezident Chrump.  Ex-presidents enjoy Secret Service protection for 10 years after leaving office.  But, not necessarily if they are impeached or resign.  While Chrump was able to avoid actual impeachment by sneaking away, he will still face criminal charges for almost a dozen felonies.   

Word Of The Day

IMPEACHMENT

September 24, 2019

This has been your Paying Attention Word Of The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your word of the day?

One Earth, One Last Chance

Go Greta Go

September 24, 2019

I have been otherwise occupied over the past two weeks, and sadly was unable to vent properly in a timely manner about the subject nearest to my heart – the third stone from our Sun – our little blue marble of a planet that provides everything we could ever want.  In return, we humans have relentlessly and aggressively done everything in our power to destroy our home.

I have fought for the environment in my own way for many years.  I am currently indescribably grateful and in awe of a young Swedish woman, only 16 years of age, who has single-handedly brought the hammer down on the world’s climate morons while subsequently inspiring many others to raise their voices in defense of Mother Earth.

Thanks in large part to the dogged activism of Greta Thunberg millions of school-aged young people marched in cities across the globe on September20th to raise awareness of the global climate crisis that is already (and has been for quite some time) wreaking havoc across the planet.

Here are a few of my favorite signs from last Friday’s school-walk-out in protest of climate crisis inaction:

 



 

A few days later, Thunberg spoke at the UN climate meeting in New York.  She scolded the greedy, hapless corporatists and political so-called leaders the world over, who are stealing her generation’s future, while in the present these alleged adults are crushing these children’s very souls.

 

Later that same day, Greta happened to be in a public area as the Orange Gas Cloud oozed past her.  Below is a clip of the encounter:

Sixteen year-old Greta Thunberg knows toxic filth when she smells it

Yesterday, hundreds of activists took to the streets of Wishy-Washington, DC intent on disrupting business as usual in the “center of decision-making in the U.S.”  Hundreds of activists blocked key intersections across the heart of our nation’s capital.  They were attempting to awaken lawmakers to stop them from dragging their feet climate crisis.

On a lighter note...

Former Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld, who is currently mounting a quixotic primary challenge against the Orange Gas Cloud, said that what Chrump did vis-à-vis pressuring the president of Ukraine and Joe Biden “is treason. It's treason pure and simple…The penalty for treason under the US code is death.”  Apparently, Weld is technically incorrect, but his sentiment is understandable and well taken.

I. Mangrey reverberating.  No Compromise in defense of Mother Earth.

Fraught For The Day

Phone Call, What Phone Call?

September 21, 2019

America’s Idiot-in-thief is once again at the center of a firestorm.  A whistleblower report currently being illegally witheld from Congressional oversight appears to implicate Chrump in making promises in private to a foreign leader.  The whistleblower expressed concerns over national security.  The Inspector General described those concerns as “credible and urgent.”  As everyone knows, Chrump has no concept of national security, top secret information or anything that does not involve him taking in money and stepping on the throats of anyone in his path.

After days of silence on the issue Donald Twitterhands cleared the air as only he can:

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Found on The Internets

September 20, 2019

Spotted on CNN.com …

Speaking of getting wiped out…

And then there's this...

Thought For The Day

 

Hapless v. Homeless

September 19, 2019

Chrump chides homeless:

“Why didn’t you homeless losers inherit millions of illegal, unearned, undeserved dollars from your crooked, racist father like everyone else?”

Your time is gonna come Mr. Qresident

Most homeless people are more intelligent than you are, more worthwhile than you are, more honest than you are, and would make a better president than you.  FUDJT

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

 

SPECIAL BONUS THOUGHT

“Donald Trump is corruption in the flesh…Our problems didn’t start with Donald Trump.  He made them worse…A country that elects Donald Trump is already in serious trouble.”  Elizabeth Warren, September 17, 2019

Missing In Agita

We’re Not All Here…But You Probably Knew That

September 17, 2019

We are sorry for missing out on so many amazing stories lately.  We are a bit short-handed here at Paying Attention.

Veteran reporter T. Doff is off in the Himalayas trying to find himself.  Associate Editor Allyson Wunderland is traversing the Australian Outback trying to lose herself.  Shay King has checked herself into a facility with nice soft rooms whose walls are perfect for banging one’s head against.  With any luck one or more of them will return in time to handle what is guaranteed to be a frenzy of mind-crushing activity from the Orange Gas Cloud as the impeachment process, the impending economic collapse and the electoral walls close in around him like small size spandex on a bloated golfer who claims to weigh 239 pounds, but is closer to 329.  He never was very good with numbers…or anything else.

Here are just a few of the literally hundreds of the Tales From the Crook’d:

Yes, we skipped the long overdue departure of Chrump’s third National Security Advisor John “Just Blow ‘em The Fuck Up” Bolton.  Bolton says he quit, Chrump says he wa fired.  Since Chrump lies about everything all the time, we are forced to believe Bolton.  Many pundits admit that Bolton, who has never been shy about speaking his sick mind, is, whatever else he might be, intelligent.  If only he could use his intelligence for goodness instead of stupidity.

  You’re fired.               You can’t fire me, I already quit.

We let slip the Conman-in-chief “suggesting” that our military stay at one of his shit-hole resorts, where their stipends were not sufficient to cover their food and drinks at Chrump’s over-priced roach motel – the money of course, ends up in the qresident’s pockets.  Some people think this is illegal; let us at least agree that it is despicable.

We missed Ivanka proudly proclaiming that she inherited her father’s moron moral compass.  “My father taught my siblings and me the importance of positive values and a strong ethical compass.”  Seems as though daddy’s little girl also inherited her father’s very, very large uh-brain and his pathological relationship with the truth.  They deserve each other, and I mean that in the worst way imaginable.

Oh daddy, are you looking at my moral compasses again?

We were unable to report on yet another fucking major news outlet, this time ABC News, neglecting to count climate crisis among the topics worthy of discussion at yet another Democratic primary debate.

We were unable to respond to Chrump’s claim that the reason he looks orange, “and so do you” is a result of the non-incandescent light bulbs.  All we can say is that the orange ogre told his audience, “People said what's with the light bulb? I said here’s the story, and I looked at it: The bulb that we're being forced to use — number one, to me, most importantly, the light's no good. I always look orange…and so do you.” 

First of all, no we do not, it’s just you pumpkin-colored putz.  Second of all, you nacho-ma-cheese-mo mutant, if you had even a hint of functional brain tissue inside the rotting pumpkin on your shoulders, you would not admit that the most important aspect of the issue is how you look.

Third of all, with all due disrespect, you are a lying, deranged sociopath.

Chrump thinks the artificial light from the Sun
makes him look orange, not his tanning spray

Despite the expected immanent return of our team, we know we will never be able to keep up with the myriad misadventures of our mango-esque miscreant.  Nevertheless, we will persist.  Ed Venture is thankfully still at his desk cleaning up my messes so the posts are not foul of typos.

I. Mangrey treading water.

Nobody Home

Out of The Mouths of Boobs (Oft Times Come Covfefe)

September 14, 2019

Yesterday, one of the most toxic, environmentally hazardous substances known to man – from its poisonous artificial coloring, to its semi-synthetic petroleum-based head covering, to its ability to decree death and destruction to our planet – addressed his fellow Republican’ts in Baltimore, the city Chrump recently slimed as “a disgusting rat and rodent infested mess” and “a very dangerous and filthy place” where “no human being would want to live.”  Interestingly, the very presence of Donald Chrump has made the whole United States a place in which “no human being would want to live.”

Before we continue, I feel it is my responsibility to warn you that the following is an actual quote straight from the face sphincter of the very dangerous and filthy Donald Chrump, a person no human being would want to listen to, but sometimes must.  This might be one of those times.  Thanks to the Second Amendment or something, you can stop right now before it is too late.  You have been warned.

Chrump was in part celebrating the reversal of clean water regulations because Obama enacted them and because Chrump is an inhuman pile of excrement (my apologies the excrement).  Here is what he excreted, “Earlier today, my administration formally repealed the horrible, dangerous, anti-everything waters of the United States rule.  We have the cleanest water, the cleanest air that we’ve ever had in the history of our country, right now.  And, just for the press, because they’ll get me on that one, I’m thinking.  Let’s say the history of our country over the last 25 years. You know, I would say that the first few years they probably had cleaner water, cleaner air because there was nobody here.  So I have to be very accurate.” 

Oh, so very accurate he is.  There was nobody here 25 years ago?  Really?  Not even Ivanka?  Does Chrump know how old he is?  Did he simply misread his teleprompter or his very, very large uh-brain? 

Let us assume, for the sake of our own sanity, that our Very-Stable-Genius-in-chief meant 250 years ago – nobody here, you racist piece of shit?  Someone should take this poor excuse for a life form out in back of the barn put a book in his hand (I bet you thought I was going to say ‘bullet in his head’, but that would be illegal and I would never say such a thing…though I understand that others might willingly voice such dire sentiments, thinking they had good reason to do so.) and make him read it. 

Perhaps Chrump meant 25 million years ago.  Either way, it would be advisable for Mr. Chrump to go fuck himself.  That is after all, hopefully, not that I really care, the closest he is likely to get to doing it to Ivanka.  Assuming he has not already done so.

I. Mangrey recoiling. 

Free Leonard Peltier

September 13, 2019

Out of the blue yesterday Leonard Peltier popped into my head.  It was only during my internet search for a picture that I learned yesterday was Leonard’s 75 birthday.  For those unfamiliar, and there are far too many, Peltier is an enrolled member of the Turtle Mountain Chippewa, who is also of Lakota and Dakota descent.  He is a long-time Native American activist – an early member of the American Indian Movement.

Against all odds, Leonard Peltier is still alive.  He continues to languish in United States Penitentiary, Coleman in Florida.  In 1977 Peltier was railroaded, convicted and sentenced to two consecutive terms of life imprisonment for first-degree murder in the shooting of two Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agents during the June 26, 1975, shootout on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. 

There was no evidence against Peltier, and his two co-defendants were acquitted before his trial started.  Peltier was convicted by the FBI’s hand-picked racist judge. Other government misconduct during Peltier’s trial included coercion of witnesses, intentional use of false testimonies, hiding ballistics evidence, and manufacturing a murder weapon.  Despite this, Peltier has been consistently denied requests for a new trial.

Peltier has also struggled through numerous serious health problems during his incarceration, and was repeatedly denied appropriate medical care.

Peltier has been a model prisoner (at least since his brief escape in 1979) during his bogus incarceration, filling the role of elder for other Native prisoners and fighting for Native rights for those incarcerated.

Many questions remain about the case and Amnesty International placed Peltier’s case under the "Unfair Trials" category of its Annual Report: USA 2010.

I have been following Peltier’s situation pretty much since day one.  I twice wrote letters to then-president Barack Obama in support of Leonard’s clemency request.  I wrote two because I received no response whatsoever to the first.  Same with the second.  Thanks Obama.

I. Mangrey repeating. 

Moscow Mitch

The Old, The Bad, and The Ugly

September 12, 2019

Apparently, the man who delights in killing any legislation that might help people, and proudly proclaimed himself The "Grim Reaper" of such legislation, does not like being called out for what he actually does.  He does not like being called Moscow Mitch.  McConnell’s protestations notwithstanding, it appears that his new nickname is very well deserved.

Forget about Bonnie and Clyde.  Almost 100 years after the miscreant media darlings grabbed the headlines and various amounts of cash during their crime spree, America has a much more insidious couple of crooks.  Moscow Mitch McConnell and his wife – Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao – are robbing Kentucky and America blind, and they do not even need guns.  Despite the fact that Moscow Mitch can have all the guns he wants at discount prices since he is an employee of the NRA, he and his criminal wife are bilking us with their bare hands.

Chao, who lied about divesting herself from her asphalt manufacturing company, and has significant ties to Chinese businesses, appears to be entangled in Russian money.  One imagines this is one reason McConnell is so reticent to interfere with Russia interfering with our elections, so long as they interfere on behalf of Republican’ts. 

Mitchie and Chao

All Bonnie and Clyde did was stick up a bunch of rural gas stations, stores and the occasional bank.  Mitchie and Chao are running roughshod over the entire nation, raking in untold millions from all of us.  In addition, though Moscow Mitch is not pulling any triggers himself – he does after all possess insufficient hand strength to do so – he is ensuring that untold numbers of innocent people will be senselessly shot to death by doing his Grim Reaper act with any vote on sensible gun legislation in the Senate, something that has already been passed by the House.  Bang up job Mitch. 

A song about Moscow Mitch

 

Elaine Chao did not sell her shares in Vulcan Materials – the largest U.S. supplier of stone, sand, and gravel for road-paving – despite promising to divest herself once appointed to a cabinet post.  These people are shameless.  According to our sources, when Chao was confronted with this effrontery, she replied, “Let them eat gravel.  I know where they can get a good price.  Just kidding, it's going to cost a bundle.”

As is so common with Republican’t politicians, their allegiance is not to the United States of America, but to their own wealth and power.  Mostly, it seems, their wealth.  It is as if they feel cheated out of the big money they crave because of their jobs.  I am willing to wager that no one has ever done it better than Donald Chrump, but Moscow Mitch is clearly no slouch.

At least he’s not a fucking Nazi…right?

This might seem naïve, but it also might bear remembering that the job description of which we speak is “public servant.”  If the job you were so desperate to have is not to your liking as designed and described – everyone knows what the job entails – then get the fuck out of the way.  Get another job.  And, I do not mean that after you have wasted our time and taxpayer money pretending to be in Congress, you should become a lobbyist who can then turn around and help your replacement in government follow in your fouled footsteps.  Please do the right thing; turn yourselves in, beg your constituents’ forgiveness, and spend some quality time in the state pen.  If there is anything I can do to help, just ask.

Moscow Mitch McConnell is a festering boil on the body politic and needs to be lanced forthwith. 
I. Mangrey reporting.  My brain hurts.

Hate/Crime

We Hold These Traitors to Be Self Evident

September 11, 2019

Donald Chrump, who recently congratulated Poland for being invaded by the Nazis, decided to commemorate the 18^th anniversary of 9/11 by inviting the Taliban – yes, that Taliban – to join him at historic Camp David for a super-secret meeting, which Der Furor subsequently and suddenly told everyone (on Twitter of course) that he was cancelling.  One assumes that Mor-on-Lago was booked for the occasion; probably some Saudis who were learning how to fly, but not land planes nearby, had put money in Chrump’s pockets by taking up all the rooms.

Republican'ts have absolutely no loyalty to this country.  None.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.  It's not just the Orange Gas Cloud either.  Let us not forget that Dick "I Shot A Guy In The Face and Made Him Apologize" Cheney outed a critically important CIA field operative as an act of revenge.  Valerie Plame's long career was brought to a screeching halt because her husband, Joseph Wilson uncovered the truth about Cheney's fraudulent claim that Saddam Hussein obtained yellow cake uranium from Niger.  You may recall that Cheney had his version of Mortimer Snerd – George W. Bush – include these infamous words in his 2003 State of The Union address: “The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.”  The British government, as most people, including Cheney, had always known, had learned no such thing, and Joseph Wilson verified it.

Today's traitorous Republican'ts are sitting there with their thumbs, heads, and in some cases their upper torsos up their asses while their chosen one divulges who knows how many national security secrets to his Russian benefactors.

And then there’s Moscow Fucking Mitch McConnell.  McConnell has no love for anything but his power and his legacy.  His legacy, as it now stands, is the unrepentant, broad-daylight-theft of Barack Obama’s Supreme Court appointment of Merrick Garland to replace the appropriately departed, unconscionably horrible Antonin Scalia.  Garland, of course, was as bipartisan a choice as has ever been presented for nomination to the Court.  McConnell however, chose to flaunt all democratic protocol and brutally murder the nomination in its sleep.  In addition, McConnell stonewalled most of Obama’s rightful appointments to federal benches only to fast track the nominations that Moscow Mitch was waiting to install.  McConnell just needed the right patsy in the White House to carry out his court-packing.  McConnell’s appointments, many of whom would not be fit to hear elevator music, let alone a court case.  This is not hyperbole.  Many of these nominees were less qualified than your basic sea cucumber.

Thanks to Captain Loose-lips Chrump, in 2017 the CIA had to extract a prized, high-level spy (and his family) from Russia after one of Chrump’s earliest breaches of national security.  Shortly after his justice-obstructing firing of James Comey, Chrump shared some laughs and some state secrets with the Russian Foreign Minister and Ambassador (who many Chrump underlings – including Jeff Sessions – met with during the campaign and subsequently lost all memory of any such meetings), both know to moonlight as agents of Vladimir Putin.  Right after that, the CIA rescued their Russian asset from Putin’s revenge.  The operative was informing US intelligence about Russian interference with the 2016 election.  Naturally, replacing such a highly placed operative will take years, if not decades, if even possible.  Thanks Obama.

The only things Chrump was able, or even tried to keep secret were his affairs, and ultimately that did not turn out all that well for the Orange One.  At least those disclosures did not threaten global stability…or did they?

All of this without mentioning the decades-long efforts to disenfranchise embarrassingly large numbers of minority, i.e., Democratic voters.

I. Mangrey recuperating (not really). 

And don’t even get me started on their racist, misogynist, anti-voting, pro-corporation Supreme Court majority.