It’s TIME

Under Cover of Dumbness

November 30, 2017

Is it dementia, douchebaggery or nuclear-powered narcissism? Maybe he thinks that he deserves it because he was far-and-away the most hateful, despicable, ignorant candidate ever to seek America’s highest office, lost the popular vote by a huge margin and still ended up in the White House. Maybe he thinks that he deserves it because he thinks that despite a preponderance of irrefutable facts to the contrary, he is able to advocate countless conspiracies that make him popular with the most ignorant, bigoted, stubbornly and purposefully uninformed sector of the American public. Maybe he thinks that he deserves it because he can spend more time golfing than doing anything vaguely resembling leading, or because he can sit on his golden toilet and tweet lie after lie or insane bullshit, or re-tweet racist filth and avoid any consequences – or at least any consequences that he considers consequential. Maybe he thinks he deserves to be TIME’s person of the year because Hitler, Stalin, Khrushchev and Khomeini all made the grade. Or maybe, just maybe, his toxically inflated ego cannot be satiated without getting its way at every turn.

For years, Chrump has had a fake TIME Magazine cover featuring the carpeted blob of protoplasm atop his neck on the cover. He may not have invented the term ‘fake news’ as he told an interviewer recently, but he certainly was a purveyor of such, since insinuating himself into the public eye. Whether phoning reporters, pretending to be his own publicist – which he did repeatedly during the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, either as John Miller or John Barron – to inflate his man-about-town image, or . Miller/Barron/Chrump would brag about how well the boss was doing financially and about Chrump’s latest sexual conquests, which more often than not were fake encounters.

Some reporters found the calls from the man calling himself Miller or Barron disturbing. Some described them as creepy. Others thought they were just examples of Chrump being playful (i.e., lying like a rug).

In one call, “Miller” said “Actresses just call to see if they can go out with him and things.” “Miller” claimed that Madonna “wanted to go out with him.” (Chrump, not Miller, though possibly Miller, since Miller is Chrump, or Chrump is Miller; so who knows who Madonna did not actually want to go out with.) Chrump’s fake publicist boasted that in addition to living with Maples (with whom he cheated on his first wife and sired the only child he has not brought into his crime syndicate or administration – like there’s a difference), Chrump had “three other girlfriends.”

Our crack team of reporters are currently looking into serious allegations that, – this is not us saying this, but many people are saying it or maybe we saw it on the internets – Sarah Huckabee Sanders is actually Chrump in drag.

Sarah Huckabee Chrump Miller Sanders

Last week, before his latest golf marathon, Der Furor tweeted more of his patented fake news. This lie/delusion/cry-for-help had to do with his negotiations with TIME regarding their 2017 person of the year. I’ll let the Cuckoo-bird-in-chief lie for himself:

TIME Magazine joined in the imaginary conversation that Chrump was having with himself and Twitter in order to clear things up:

Paying Attention reached out to TIME and obtained a scoop on the real fake person of the year selection for 2017. TIME has really outdone themselves this year. They are intent on making TIME MAGAzine great again. There are also rumors that this might be the last person of the year ever.



I. Mangrey reporting.

Hoka Hey, It Is a Good Day to Cry

Fuck You Chrump

Indian Country
November 28, 2017

I have been interested in justice for Native Americans for as long as I can remember. I was enamored of them as a child, and studied their history, culture and ceremonies over the years. This land’s original inhabitants got kind of a raw deal beginning in the Fall of 1492. Things went from horrible to worse as the years went by. It has only slowed down because so much of the native population was wiped out by the end of the 19^th Century. But that still was not enough to stop the abuse.



The United States continues to disrespect and harass Native Americans. In one of the most denigrating displays since the intrusion of racist golddigger Christopher Columbus, Navajo Code Talkers, believed by many to have played a pivotal role in winning World War II, were forced to stand dangerously close to an Orange Gas Cloud. The noxious plume in human form, standing in front of a portrait of his favorite president and renowned Indian murdered extraordinaire Andrew Jackson, told the Native American heroes, “You were here long before any of us were here, although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her ‘Pocahontas.’ But you know what, I like you.” 

Three heroes and one zero

 

Someone should tell President Fluffernutter that attempting to insult someone by calling her Pocahontas (particularly in the presence of other native people) is pathetic and racist, and that he himself is nothing more than a partially melted block of Velveeta pasteurized, process, cheese spread. He is certainly no Pocahontas.

Doubly white Sarah Huckabee Sanders explained that the derogatory use of Indian heroine Pocahontas’s name is not in any way related to ethnic malfeasance, calling any such description “ridiculous”. She was supported in her very white, privileged, clueless opinion by the possibly-even-whiter Eric of Chrump, who leapt into the fray by attacking Disney for making the movie Pocahontas. Huh?

President of the Navajo nation Russell Begaye, seemed to disagree with Suckabee Handers and Eric The White, describing Chrump’s verbal vomit, this time dragging Pocahontas into it (for the umpteenth time) something less than honor. According to Begaye, when asked if he felt Chrump’s insult was an “ethnic slur”, replied, “I feel that the way it was used, yes, it was. Pocahontas is a real person. It’s not a caricature, it’s not someone that’s just made up. This is a person, a young lady, a Native American woman that played a critical role in the life of this nation, and to use that person in that way is unnecessary and it’s being culturally insensitive.” Begaye later added, “When you’re in the midst of great heroes, you need to respect them and leave everything else aside and just honor them and thank them.”

You know things are bad when John McCain is the voice of reason:

Too bad we don’t have Navajo Code Talkers to save us
from tyranny and oppression in Chrump’s Amerika

 

I. Mangrey reporting. Fuck you Chrump.                                                                        

                                                                     

Kut, Kut, Kut

Scrooge You Buddy

November 25, 2017

If you are wondering how Republican’ts can continue to fight for Chrump’s Cut, Cut, Cut bill, when it is slated to run up the deficit, steal money from those who have little, to give it to those who have too much, you just do not know much about Republicant’s.

According to Republican’ts, they must pass this so-called tax bill as quickly as possible (so the public has no chance to see what is really in it), and at any cost (to the middle and lower classes). The party of Nixon, Bush/Cheney and Chrump is under pressure from wealthy/greedy donors, who have threatened to cut off the funding that installs politicians who pass the laws that lobbyists write, and give the donors more tax cuts they don’t need.

What is the thinking behind rushing to pass a bill that has less than 30 percent public support? That deigns to make tax cuts for corporations permanent, but makes bait-and-switch tax cuts for the middle class that are designed to not only expire, but to turn into tax increases within ten years. It’s magic. By 2027, everyone earning less than $75,000 a year would, on average see their taxes go up.

Preparing the middle class for their big tax cuts;
maybe they will be permanent after all

One For The Money

Boss Chrump, who lies constantly that his draconian tax cut cut cut is “not good for me, believe me.” I probably need not tell anyone this, but DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. Never. Believe me, it can never go well. To be fair to Chrump, now that he has finally dissolved his fake charity, and people (with the exception of white nationalist conventions) are cancelling events and staying away in droves from his hotels, and sports teams that frequented his hotels have, for some reason, decided to start staying elsewhere, his fake fortune is in jeopardy. Der Furor is going to need some other way to con Americans out of their money so he can continue to pretend he is a billionaire. Why not sell them on Chrump Tax Cut, Cut, Cuts? They are made right here, in China. Surely you must feel sorry for Don now that he has dropped from 156th place to 248th place on the list of richest people in America. This puts him just ahead of the guy who owns Papa John’s Pizza and Charlie Rose, so at least his current ranking is fairly safe for a while.

Chrump stakes

 

Chrump and his Senate Republican’t enablers want to eliminate deductions for the elderly and disabled, adoption, student loans, medical expenses, alimony and other deductions taken by those for whom a few extra pennies makes a difference – like teachers who spend their own money for supplies for their classrooms when actual funding is insufficient. The good news (for corporations and rich folk) is, whatever tax cut crumbs regular folks might actually get will be more than offset when they lose their health insurance as a result of the Death-To-Obamacare language hidden within the deadly tax cut bill.

Former COO at Goldman Sacks and current White House National Economic Council Director Gary Cohn said, “The most excited group out there are big CEOs about our tax plan.” Ignoring his horrible grammar and focusing on his horrendous stupidity regarding this disastrous policy, Cohn later witnessed firsthand what everyone already knew. Only six hands out of a room full of corporate executives went up when Cohn asked CEOs whether they would spend more if the Cut, Cut, Cut bill went through. Cohn seemed surprised, asking, "Why aren't the other hands up?" Good question numb-nuts. The simple answer, since you are clearly not very bright, is: Like you, they are a bunch of greedy bastards who will keep everything they can get their sticky hands on. You might also be keen to learn that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. Ask your boss. He just recently found that out.

Two For…You Know

Mitch McConnell, who made it clear in 2010 – when he said, The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president,” – that his only allegiance was to his wealthy donors and his party – not America. McConnell’s Republican’ts want to gut Medicare (and eventually Social Security), kill Obamacare and make the rich richer so they can continue to bankroll his party at the expense of the vast majority of Americans, many of whom are either too uninformed and/or ignorant to stop voting for McConnell and his fellow travelers. Why support programs that help millions, when all that money could be going to millionaires?

Three To Get Greedy

Paul Ryan has dreamed of killing Medicaid since he was a young, entitled, Ayn-Rand-addled college kid “drinking at a keg.” Paul Ryan, who gives copies of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged – the book he claims to reread more than any other – as Christmas presents and makes all his interns read it. Paul Ryan, who benefitted from the so-called entitlement programs he is determined to eliminate. Ryan has conned his fellow Republican’ts into believing he understands government finances and economic theory, and is the lead dog on the runner-less sled of Republican’t fiscal policy. The only thing Ryan understands is that by taking money out of socially responsible programs, he can transfer those funds to his wealthy benefactors.

These are the three men charged with leading our nation into the brave new world of tax reform in America.

The Three Scrooges

I. Mangrey reporting.

Unpardonable

November 23, 2017

Not Sure Who Cooked This Up, But it Sure Looks Presidential

I may never be able to look at food again

Gobble. Gobble. Believe me.

More on Moron Moore

Judge Not Lest Ye Be a Sexual Predator

November 22, 2017

As previously explained in these pages, Republican’t senatorial candidate, professional sexual predator, pedophile and intermittent judge Roy Moore is in a vegetative state…Alabama. One of Alabama’s apparently over-ripe vegetables said of Moore, "He is the closest thing to a Founding Father that we have seen in our lifetimes." I cannot fathom what that statement meant, other than lauding Moore for acting as if he was in the 18^th Century by wanting to marry a 14 year-old. I will bet you dollars to donuts that Moore would have despised the Founders and would instead have been loyal to the Crown. After all, most of the Founders were not observant Christians, did not want the Ten Commandments displayed in government buildings, and did respect the rule of law. John Adams defended British soldiers in court. Roy Moore still cannot accept racially integrated schools in Alabama.

Alabama’s top vegetable, Republican’t Governor Kay Ivey says she believes Moore’s accusers, but will vote for her party’s nominee nonetheless. Ivey said, “I believe in the Republican Party, what we stand for, and, most important, we need to have a Republican in the United States Senate…” As far as I can tell, the Republican’t party stands for racism, sexual assault against women, white nationalism, depriving people of health care, skirting the Constitution to steal a Supreme Court seat, and raising taxes on the middle class in order to give tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans – many of whom are skilled at avoiding paying taxes in the first place. Truly something to believe in. If you are a vegetable.

Roy Moore spending some quality time at the mall

 

The number of Moore’s accusers grows day by day. Moore, who continues to run as the morals candidate, has now been accused of behaviors ranging from harassment to sexual assault by nine women, most of whom Moore – let’s say pursued – when they were between the ages of 14 and 18, and Moore was in his thirties. Since Republican’ts stood behind (which it turns out is the only safe ways to stand near) Donald Chrump after he was caught admitting to habitually sexually assaulting women, and after 16 women told their personal stories of the lying, cheating real estate mongrel mogul subjecting them to the very behavior he bragged about in the Access Hollywood tape.

Chrump inspects/gropes his girlfriend/daughter

Al Franken and his pathetic dalliances does not hold a candle to these professional sex criminals. However, according to Chrump spokesliar Sarah Huckabee Sanders – who is just following orders – Franken is worse, “specifically, as Senator Franken has admitted wrongdoing and the president hasn’t. I think it’s a very clear distinction.” Yes, a very clear distinction. Franken admitted what he did was horrible, apologized twice publicly and then sent a handwritten apology. His apology was accepted. It appears Huckabee Sanders must not have seen the Access Hollywood tape where Chrump admitted to being a sexual predator. She should watch it sometime. I think she would enjoy it. It’s right up her asshole…I mean alley. Chrump, for his part did not apologize. He instead threatened to sue all 16 women. He has reneged on his threat. As usual.

But, is It Art?

Meanwhile, a Navy pilot decided to draw the closest thing he could to an image of the closest thing to a Founding Father that we have seen in our lifetimes in the skies over Washington state:

Moore never looked so good

Baby, You Can Drive My Truck

Spotted on the roads of Texas

I. Mangrey reporting.
                                                                                                    

                                                           

Oilephants on Parade

Spill ‘Em if You’ve Got ‘Em

The Earth
November 18, 2017

Many people maintain a nostalgic affection for the place known as The Earth. This quaint preoccupation with an inanimate object that is not a computer or a smart phone continues to cause problems for corporations whose only goal is to destroy said Earth for their own financial gain. Why are these so-called planet huggers such haters? These poor little (huge actually) corporations are just trying to make a living while making a killing. So they cut a few (thousand) corners. So sue them. They dare you. They can claim eminent domain and drill for oil right in your face if they want to. These are good corporations/people, doing whatever they want, grabbing The Earth by the p***y, and making the world safe for billionaires.

Not everyone harbors this regrettable infatuation with The Earth. Important people like our current president and all of his men know better. All the president’s men know that The Earth is not a real thing, but merely a hoax created by scientists in order to rake in the big bucks. These scientists have been running this con for over a hundred years at the expense of very rich people who deserve our undying loyalty and huuuuge tax cut, cut, cuts.

Elephants Never Forget

While Chrump, in his never-ending quest to undo anything Obama did, was busy making the world a safer place for elephant murderers (like his sons), over 200,000 gallons (500 barrels) of what one can only assume is clean, harmless oil escaped from the captivity of the Keystone Pipeline in South Dakota. This is the largest spill in South Dakota. The section of pipe in question is purported to be fairly new, and boasts the latest in safety technology.

It doesn’t look so bad if you don’t look at it from a great distance

 

The EPA is monitoring the situation, so we can assume that first they will blame Obama, and then claim there was no damage to the surrounding area thanks to the quick thinking of Der Furor. He will demand credit, insist on a parade and call The Earth a pathetic little rock with no money. I say just throw a few elephant heads on it and call it art.

Trophy son with trophy tail


The pipeline has had smaller spills — a mere 400 barrels each — in the same region in 2011 and 2016. Surely South Dakota must be used to it by now.

Jared Margolis, senior attorney with the Center for Biological Diversity said, “This disastrous spill from the first Keystone Pipeline makes clear why Keystone XL should never be built. Trump’s issuance of a permit for Keystone XL is a farce that will only lead to more pollution for people and wildlife.”

Unfortunately, the Chrump administration cares neither for people or wildlife. Chrump wanted to relax Obama’s 2014 ban on importation of elephant “trophies”. These trophies are considered, by the elephants themselves and those who support them, to be heads, though they are considered trophies by the callous murderers who cannot use their own trophies in a civilized manner. This will all get a lot worse before it can ever get better. Elephants never forget, but I doubt their memories remain intact once they are murdered and have their heads removed. The Earth never forgets, but I doubt her memories of humans will be good ones.

Elephant “trophies” in their natural state

 

I. Mangrey reporting. Oil and elephants don’t mix.

Men Behaving Badly*

Is It Still Rape If Consent is Granted After It’s Over?

November 15, 2017

During the pre-inauguration phase of the Chrump campaign, he howled and whined and screamed about how horrible China was. He did this too many times to count. Chrump said, "We can't continue to allow China to rape our country, and that's what they're doing." Der Furor insisted that China would pay for their sins once he was king. I guess he decided it was really America’s fault after all. Did you see what America was wearing? Who could blame China for raping someone like that? America was just asking for it.

As is so often the case in rape, the victim has much more to prove than the assailant. But Chrump rendered the point moot after a transparently (to everyone but Donny Twitterhands) farcical ego-stroking by the Chinese during Chrump’s recent visit to China. Chrump, who knows a few things about sexual abuse of women said, “I don't blame China. After all, who can blame a country for taking advantage of another country for the benefit of its citizens?” Taking advantage of? Why didn’t he say “raping”?

Let me get this straight. Chrump cried “rape” over China a year ago. Then he sees China again and is all, like, “Oh you’ve been so nice to me after I told everyone you raped us. I think I love you.” So this time its consensual I guess.

Apparently, Grabby Hayes believes it is not rape if it’s for a good cause, and his blind, deaf and staggeringly dumb supporters are just as happy to change the tune they are hearing as Chrump is to change the one he is crooning.

Speaking of crooning, Philippine president/psycho Rodrigo Duterte, sand a love song to a fawning Donald Chrump during the latter’s recent visit to the Philippines. Chrump has never had a discouraging word for Duterte, who, among his other despicable habits proudly assaults women and has joked to troops about raping women.

Is It Really Sexual Assault Just Because The Assault Was Sexual?

Speaking of rape, Roy Moore. Judge-Twice-removed Roy Moore, Republican’t senate candidate is currently in a vegetative state – Alabama. Thirty-seven percent of Alabama evangelicals say they are more likely to support Moore after sexual assault allegations. As I said, vegetative state.

In 2004 Moore led the campaign against removing school segregation from Alabama’s state constitution. The removal of the racist language was a sure bet until Moore jumped into the fray and ultimately helped keep segregation alive in Alabama. And those are his more endearing qualities. Chrump campaigned against Moore, but then threw his weight behind the crazed fundamentalist bigot/sexual predator once Chrump realized they had so much incommon.

Moore, self-appointed champion of the Ten Commandments, was known to hang out at high school football games, malls and anywhere teen girls congregated – while he was an district attorney – for the purpose of procuring dates, or if that did not work, then attempted rape and threats should any of his victims alert anyone of their “date” with Moore. It has been reported that this insane pig – I apologize, alleged insane pig – was banned from a local mall in the 1980s, due to his reputation for allegedly “badgering teenage girls” and “cruising for high-school dates”. Five women have already come forward to accuse Moore of inappropriate sexual behavior when they were teenagers and he was closer to their parents’ age than to theirs. For the record, Moore was born in 1947, so it is very unlikely that he was a teenager in the ‘80s.

The Refuse is Lit

There should be no statute of limitations on sexual assault, whatever its form. Women have been so accustomed to being harassed, assaulted and abused by men that they are struggling to fight back, even in 21^st Century America. Finally the dam has burst. And no, it is not true that, “If it’s legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down,” as former Missouri Congressman Todd Akin, one of Moore’s compatriots, said not so long ago.

Women all across the country (and the world) are leaping from the virtual stockades of oppression and subjugation to speak their long-buried, unbearably painful truth. America, including many of its women, has a history of tolerating and electing known abusers to positions of great power. No example other than the current occupant of the White House need be singled out, though there are more than enough to shame us for all of history, even if this assholery stopped cold this very moment. We know why men vote for these curs, but if women do not stop aiding and abetting, we are surely doomed.

The stain of slavery and the much longer history of genocide against the land’s original peoples will never be washed from this nation’s hands no matter how much we might, as a nation, pretend it is a thing of the past. Especially since, though slavery might have technically ended, the destruction of native peoples continues unabated. It has only slowed because there are so few of them remaining. But I digress.

In Closing...

 

I. Mangrey reporting. Even if I could do whatever I wanted, I guarantee you I would never grab ‘em by the p***y. Chruck Fump.

 

*So what else is new.

Putin Us To Shame

Appease And Thank You

The Silk Road
November 12, 2017

The worst thing to hit Asia since Little Boy and Fat Man made landfall in Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945 is coming to an end. Combination little boy and fat man Donald Chrump is nearing the end of his extended assault on the Far East. After stopping in Hawai’i, which Chrump was surprised to learn was an island...surrounded by water...big water, the Orange Gas Cloud headed off to further damage relations with Japan, South Korea, China, Vietnam and the Philippines. Along the way he would get to spend some quality moments with his idol and benefactor.

Who's His Daddy?

President Chamberlain says he is inclined to believe fellow liar Vladimir Putin when he denied having anything to do with meddling in our elections, particularly the one where Chrump defeated the American electorate. The entire intelligence community of the United States, an entity to which Chrump clearly holds no allegiance. To be fair, Der Furor goes into anaphylactic shock whenever he comes within an orange hair’s breadth of intelligence.

Why in the world should we be concerned if Putin wants to annex the Sudetenland, I mean The Ukraine, or Texas? What possible harm could that do? Why do all the haters want to stop us from being besties with Russia? What have they ever done to us? Inquiring Chrumps want to know.

Chrump told his mirror, “I will sign the great Moscow Pact with the very honest and strong Vladimir Putin. We have become excellent friends. It’s amazing what good friends we are – almost as good as me and Mitch. This Moscow Pact will be the best, most beautiful pact since the Munich Pact. That Chambermaid guy had no idea how to make the best deal. I know how. Believe me. I know exactly what I’m doing. None of those experts, who have been studying this stuff for years, know what’s going on. I have wasted very little time listening to their very boring briefings, but I’ve spent several minutes with Putin so I think I know what I’m talking about. I’ve had the best conversations with Putin, who by the way is a very strong leader and also, I can tell you, is very interested in playing some golf at my beautiful course in Bedminster. He just wants to be a good friend to America. He has already given us the greatest president in the history of forever.”

Was It Everything I Said?

Chrump, who has made a cottage industry – the first industry he has ever been involved in that was in the U.S., although the only job it created was his…until he starts WWIII – of insulting, taunting and threatening Kim Jong-un, is simply aghast that Little Rocket Man does not seem to like him very much.

What is Kim’s problem? Chrump gave him props during the pre-inauguration phase of his campaign for killing off all his rivals, including his uncle. Chrump wishes he could do that. He knows what makes a good, strong leader. Believe him.

After rolling over to have his tummy rubbed by Putin, Chrump had some more smoke blown up his skirt in Japan and China. Both countries held their breath and smiled, as Chrump insulted them and made obsequious love talk to each in their turn. According to one Chinese official, “We know that most of his rude comments were a result of his substantial ignorance of anything outside his own skin. Actually, I was surprised that he knew the Samurai were Japanese. His words are meaningless. We know that. We believe it is more important to do the things he likes to have done, and make him think we like him. Then we can have our way with him. He is like a small child who can be pacified with a big piece of cake, some shiny objects and a pat on the head. This is going to be so easy.”

Once he had made an ass of himself in Japan and China, Chrump stopped in the one country he worked very hard to avoid as a young man. He instead did his service right here at home on the New York dating scene front, of which he said in 1997, “It is a dangerous world out there, it’s scary. Like Vietnam, sort of like, you know, the Vietnam War. It’s my own personal Vietnam. I’d make a great and very brave soldier.” Yeah, except for the part where you were a great and very chicken-shit coward who dodged the draft five times.

Next stop, the Philippines, where Chrump will have a quick cuddle with another murderous tyrant he has long admired - Rodrigo Duterte. No doubt, Hair Chrump will learn much about how to run a country from the Philippine strongman. Chrump loves strong men.

When will we be un-presidented?

I. Mangrey reporting. What are you doing? Look busy, the boss is coming.

Well, When the President Does it, That Means That it is Not Lying

Is It Really a Lie If You Knew It Was Untrue When You Said It?

November 10, 2017

Whatever else one might think about Donald Trump, it is increasingly important to acknowledge that he is seemingly incapable of telling the truth. Whether he is talking about how smart he is, how much he knows about the military, taxes, health care, other presidents’ birth certificates or how friendly he is with Mitch McConnell, he can do nothing but lie. When he says that indicted traitor Paul Manafort (one of his many campaign managers) was only with his campaign for a short time and was not important, and when he says that convicted liar (and now “proactively cooperating” witness for Bob Mueller’s investigation) George Papadopoulos was a “coffee boy”, and when he says he has all the “best people” he is, in a word, not even in the same galaxy as telling the truth. When Chrump ends a statement with “Believe me”, you can be even more certain that he is lying. Hell, his “hair” is a lie.

Chrump lying through his face sphincter

It does not matter if the issue at hand is the size of his immense loss of the popular vote, the size of the crowd at his inauguration, the size of his hands or the size of his whatever. It does not matter if Chrump is talking (or tweeting) about Muslims dancing in the streets after the 9/11 attacks, claiming he would stand up for the working class and drain the swamp, or that that he will not benefit personally from his so-called tax reform. Whether his absurd claims that he will bring back thousands of coal jobs, or that he has no business dealings with Russia, or his objectively disprovable assertion that he has a very good brain, this president is pathologically incapable of telling the truth. Chrump may have already damaged the truth for all eternity.

It’s True. He Lies.

Research has tallied his total number of false statements, misrepresentations and so-called flip-flops at 1318 over his first 263 days in office. This comes to five lies per day. If we take into account the fact that Trump has visited one of his golf resorts approximately once every four days, the actual lie/day ratio increases substantially. Not to mention that these incessant outings are costing taxpayers millions of dollars. Speaking of Trump’s golfing habits, one might recall him saying, “I don’t think I’d see anything – I just wanna stay in the White House and work my ass off, make great deals, right? Who’s gonna leave?” I admit it is difficult to decide whether this was a lie or a flip-flop, but I will go with lie. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I want him to be working all the time. In fact, given the quality of his work, I would greatly prefer that he spend all of his time on the golf course, cheating on every hole and driving his golf cart across every green he owns.

Agree with Trump’s policies or not – assuming one can pin him down on anything for more than a few hours at a time. Agree with his style, or his often unhinged 2000 tweets or not, a lie is a lie and someone who incessantly trades in lies is by definition a – let’s all say it together because the media will not – a liar. I am all for tact and politeness (Well, not necessarily, but it sounds presidential.), but there is a time and place for everything. When someone with immense responsibility for the well-being of a nation and a tiny little finger on the nuclear trigger is so demonstrably unable to even recognize the truth, and if he did recognize it would just as soon shoot it on Fifth Avenue (and not lose a single vote), it is incumbent upon everyone to tell the bloated festering emperor that he is stark raving nude.

The emperor has no clues

This just in…

More than eight years after the Republican’ts hatched their plot to murder it in its sleep and less than one month after Der Furor said of Obamacare, “It’s dead. It’s gone. It’s no longer - you shouldn’t even mention. It’s gone,” reports showed that a record number of people enrolled in Obamacare for 2018. It would appear that reports of Obamacare’s death have been greatly exaggerated. Now Chrump and his lying monkeys will be sabotaging Obamacare until they can finally prove that it does not work. SAD.

Speaking of dead and gone, have you seen Chrump’s poll numbers lately?

 

I apologize if I have omitted any of your favorite Chrump lies. There are so many, no one man can keep track. And admittedly, it is at times difficult to determine whether Chrump is lying or merely too stupid for words. To be safe, we should assume that at every turn he is both. I know I do.

I. Mangrey reporting. And that’s no lie.                        

                                                                                                       

Mourning in America: Light a Candle

Crappy Anniversary

November 7, 2017

The lighting of candles is a common way of celebrating holidays, acknowledging events, etc. and Jews are no exception in this practice. Everyone knows Hannukah (though no one is quite sure how to spell it in English) - the Festival of Lights. Candle lighting goes on over the course of eight days. Forty-four to be exact. A pair of candles is to be lighted every week to welcome the Sabbath. A day-long-burning Yahrzeit candle is lighted every year to commemorate the loss of a loved one. A Yahrzeit candle is lighted every year to remember the six million lost to the Nazi Holocaust.

An American Yahrzeit

America, as a nation, has its own holidays. We celebrate our nation’s founding on July 4^th. We remember those who have perished in service to our country on the last Monday in May, and the end of World War I on November 11^th. I have seen thousands of people dancing in the streets on Resignation Days - August 8-9 - celebrating the end of the Nixon presidency in 1974. America must add one more day of recognition for what will go down as one of the worst moments in our nation’s history. SAD.

More recently we have added September 11 to our calendar of days to be acknowledged. It seems terribly appropriate (if not just plain terrible) to add one more to the roster. November 8^th is now a day of remembrance and mourning in America. Tomorrow is the first anniversary of the Electoral College victory of Donald Chrump, as he defeated the American people and became the 45^th president, and consequently the anniversary of the (hopefully temporary) defeat of all that was good in America. One year ago tomorrow, the soul of our nation was rent asunder when a well-placed minority (aided by Russian hackers, James Comey and some very fine people who happened to be Nazis and white supremacists) elected to the highest office in the land a man driven by toxic ignorance, contempt and revenge, and an almost fanatical devotion to himself.

They said he would pivot. They said he would grow into the job. He did neither. He festered and tweeted and lied and lied and lied – over 1300 times at last count. Instead of becoming presidential, Chrump is remaking the once prestigious office in his own nauseating, possibly fatal image. Chrump has already degraded the office beyond recognition – and that is no mean feat.

It is time for an ever-growing majority of Americans to pray to someone, or to no one in particular. Even atheists are praying for deliverance from the Days of Chrump.  

There is an almost infinite number of Jewish holidays. Some are joyous, some somber, some are deadly serious. November 8^th will be one of the latter in America. It has never really been safe for people of color in America. The land’s original inhabitants continue to be treated like so many mosquitoes, subjected to genocide, their rights disregarded, and their sacred lands destroyed as they continue to be disrespected at every turn. We as a nation barely acknowledge these things, let alone take time every year to reflect, and perhaps repent a little. A disturbing portion of our fellow citizens seem to miss the good old days when slavery thrived, women knew their place and any hint of respect for those truly born of this land was at best a waste of time.

Thanks to the Orange Gas Cloud, many Americans are celebrating certain things that most of us would prefer to see eradicated; behavior that had, if nothing else, been relegated to remote redoubts, isolated militia strongholds, survivalist communities and pariah websites. For quite some time – with the possible exception of the Obama years – it was considered at least impolite to be a bigot, so most of those folks kept a fairly low profile. One would have to go back quite a way to find a time when it was more acceptable than it is today for Nazis, the KKK and other hate groups in America. Chrump has done wonders for the hate-based economy in this country.

Jewish holidays begin at sunset of the previous evening, but you can start lamenting the onset of Chrumpdom (emphasis on ‘dom’) at any time you see fit…or any day for that matter. Personally, I'm getting an early start.

I. Mangrey reporting. Oy. Sometimes it almost hurts too much to laugh.

Chrumper Room

Chrump’s Presidenting is Child’s Play. Literally.

November 1, 2017

Every day, usually several times a day, our 45^th president reminds us that he is the most incompetent, inappropriate, inarticulate, incomprehensible man ever to hold the highest office in the land. By a long shot. One thing he is not, is inconsistent. He is very consistently all the other things just mentioned. But, you know what they say – when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And you know what I say – when life gives you Chrump, keep away from sharp objects. And bridges. And injectable street drugs. And household cleansers.

Rex Tillerson, Chrump’s Russia-based Secretary of State, repeatedly refused to answer the question, “Did you call “president” Chrump a moron?” One response Rex gave was, “The president and I have a very open relationship.” I guess that means they are free to call each other a fucking moron, which from what we can see, certainly seems reasonable. I assume they are also free to see other people. They are clearly fucking all of us but not each other.

Tillerson is not alone in being less than enamored of the Disaster-in-chief. Soon-to-be-ex-senator and one-time vocal supporter of Hair Chrump, Bob Corker of Tennessee, suggested repeatedly that the Chrump White House was an “adult day care center. Corker also said that Chrump is “utterly untruthful” and said, “For young people to be watching…someone of this mentality…is something that is debasing to our country.” Then Corker voted for Chrump’s very great smorgasbord-of-tax-cuts-for-the-very-rich plan in order to keep up his almost 90 percent vote-with-Chrump record. Corker got into a tweeting war with Donald Twitterhands after Corker suggested that two of Chrump’s cabinet generals “are those people that help separate our country from chaos.” That statement, like everything else, including the flap of a butterfly’s wings in the Amazon, caused the hair-trigger, hair-brained child president to once again tweet like a chickadee in heat.

Many people are saying that his incessant Twitter assaults are just more evidence of how unfit for office, or anything else involving other people, Chrump is. Others are chalking this up to simple Romper Room talk. A non-existent told Paying Attention that, “It is unfair to hold Mr. Chrump accountable for his behavior. A child’s brain – even if that child is 71 years old – has simply not developed to the degree that enables them to understand the consequences of their actions. Mr. Chrump has the brain of a four-year-old child. It also appears that his brain is extremely small and suffers from years of toxic dyes leeching through his skull, causing untold damage to what little he had to begin with.”

It is just more Romper Room talk from Chrump.

Don’t be a Douche Bee

I. Mangrey reporting. As always, no one was sexually assaulted or harassed during the creation of this post.