Many people are asking what ever became of Melania Chrump?
Ever since the third self-loathing woman to marry the world’s most self-loving
man delivered Michelle Obama's stirring speech at the RNC, Melania has
literally disappeared. POOF! Was the body ever found? Was there a murder
weapon? Did Don have her eliminated? Did he kill her in the limousine with his
voice? Did he kill her at Chrump Tower with his hair? On his plane with a
bucket of KFC? Inquiring minds want to know. Many people are asking these
questions, not me. Many other people. Thousands and thousands of them. And
these are some of the top people. Some report having seen Chrump dancing on a
makeshift grave. I just report what I see on the internets.
Maybe Chrump decided to get rid of her because she came to
this country as an illegal immigrant. Many people are saying this. Maybe she is
the one hiding his tax returns. Paying Attention has sent a team of experts out
in search of these elusive documents. They have already found incredible
things. That I can tell you. One hundred percent. The things they are finding
will shock you. Unless you are conscious.
I predict that Chrump will
shoot someone on Fifth Avenue just to prove that what he said some months ago is
true. He told a “friend” that ever since he said, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody
and I wouldn’t lose any voters,” he has been obsessed with really shooting someone to
prove he was right. The anonymous individual – demanding anonymity lest he or
she become the target of Chrump’s new obsession – told Paying Attention in an
exclusive interviewthat, “Mr. Chrump –
that’s what he has insisted I call him ever since we met as teenagers at the New York
Military Academy – became fascinated to learn that he could probably shoot
someone in cold blood, in broad daylight and not lose one single voter come
election day in December. I don't know why he said he learned about it, he's the one who said it...more than once. Mr.
Chrump went on to say it was very tempting since he hadn’t ever shot anyone
before. I’m not sure why he winked at me when he said that. I just let it go. I
mentioned carefully that he was actually the one who said it, so what did he
mean when he said he learned about it. This seemed to upset him. I could see
his natural skin tone begin to push up through the artificial coloring – I
believe it’s Orange #34. I decided it was better not to pursue the matter and
just let him pay me the usual ‘being-his-friend’ fee and live to breathe
another day.”
In The Mean Time
How does he do it? Up at five
every morning washing, rinsing and repeating – no one knows how many times,
then two hours staring into the mirror admiring who-knows-what and blowing
kisses, waiting for just the right consistency – not too wet, not too dry –
when he can begin the three-hour comb-around-and-around-and-around and
hairspray marathon. Then it’s off to a busy day of campaigning,
frothing-at-the-mouth and insulting everyone he meets or thinks about. Followed
by a scrumptious meal of Chrump Tower taco bowls or KFC on the good china or
just spraying two or three cans of Cheez Whiz into his face in order to have it
ooze out through his pores to augment the custom coloring job. Finally, between
midnight and 3:00 am some heavy tweeting in a desperate attempt to ensure that
he leads the headlines later that day. How does he have so much energy? A little
crystal meth perhaps? Many people are saying that Chrump drinks a five hour
energy drink every hour just to keep his edge. Nobody knows for sure, not even
Don himself, but many people are saying he is on something. How does he do it? More importantly why does he do it? And why must he do it
where everyone has to see it? Most important of all, when is he going to stop? For
now let me just say to Donald Chrump, “Go fire yourself.”
Adios Asshole
We had a chance. Mexican
president Enrique Peña Nieto,
who previously compared Chrump to Hitler and Mussolini, and much to the abject
horror of most Mexicans, invited
Chrump to Mexico, absolutely certain that the man who called most Mexicans
coming to America criminals and rapists would not show up, actually ended up having
to host the virulent racist live and in person. America should have immediately
built that beautiful wall to keep him from coming back. While in Mexico, Chrump
didn’t have the balls to talk about his great wall and deportation squads. He acted “presidential” and lied to the
Mexican people about where he stands and then lied to the American people about
what was said in Mexico. American reporters immediately forgot the vile, self-obsessed
child Chrump has been over the past 15 months (even without the prior 828 months
of being a vile, self-obsessed child) as they swoon over him having “a
presidential moment”. Really? One presidential moment suddenly erases a
lifetime of buffoonery? Immediately after pretending to be reasoned and
diplomatic Chrump returned to the scene of the crime-against-humanity he calls
a presidential campaign and turned the hate and fear-mongering up to 12 during
a screed in Arizona. If not for the concrete-like stability of his “hair” his
head would have exploded as he raged on about “criminal aliens” raping and
killing everyone in America and then taking our jobs. In response to Chrump’s
crazed rant Peña Nietosaid "His policy stances could represent a huge threat to
Mexico, and I am not prepared to keep my arms crossed and do nothing. That
risk, that threat, must be confronted. I told him that is not the way to build
a mutually beneficial relationship for both nations." And Hillary
Clinton’s poll numbers continue to drop. How does she do it?
“Oh you better elect me
folks or I’ll never speak to you again.
Can you imagine, can you imagine how badly I’ll feel if I spent
all of that money, all of this energy, all of this time and lost?” Donald
J. Cheesepuff, August 14, 2016
The right to vote is often described as being central to our
democracy. Could be. Our beloved founders however did not really think the
average American was particularly worthy of selecting leaders. They thought
this was best left to white, male landowners. Period. Obviously slaves were not
considered as part of the voting public. I assume the reason was the daunting
inconvenience of counting up all those 3/5 of a vote. Women I imagine were considered
too emotional and frail to vote. It appears that there are many among us who
long for those good old days. Speaking of the socially, morally and mentally
challenged…
Republican’ts are very worried about voter fraud. Their standard
bearer for the 2016 presidential campaign Donzo Chrump has warned us that
people will be voting five or ten times in “certain sections” of Pennsylvania. For
one thing, Chrump lies so much even he doesn’t believe a word he says. For
another, the type of in-person voting fraud Chrump and the Republican’ts are perpetually
trying to frighten us with is by all accounts virtually non-existent, but…Surprise!
It is Republican’ts who are trying – and often succeeding – at defrauding
legitimate voters most of whom happen to be...wait for it...black. I wonder how
Chrump’s black supporter feels about that. We’ll have to get back to him after
he finishes (He actually did this.) emailing cartoons of Hillary in black face.
Let’s be honest here; what really scares the crap out of
Republican’ts is people actually voting. They hate voting. And they are not too
fond of voters – unless they are still in the womb. Bogus voter ID laws, strategically
eliminating polling places, restricting early voting, having the Supreme Court
stop the vote count in order to appoint a president – there are many tricks
available for those who know that low voter turn-out favors their side. Supreme
Court Chief Jerkoff Justice John Roberts decided that racial discrimination
in America is a thing of the past and led the decision to gut the 1965 Voting
Rights Act. Immediately after the near-murder of the Voting Rights Act, which
among other things kept a close watch on states that had a history of trying to
keep black folks away from the polls like Texas, North Carolina and the like,
states like Texas, North Carolina and the like started crafting laws to keep
black folks away from the polls. Immediately. Like within days, maybe it was
hours.
The 4th Circuit Court of Appeals struck down North
Carolina’s new law writing that various provisions of the law "target
African Americans with almost surgical precision." Go figure. What an odd
coincidence. As everyone in the Bush administration said when it turned out
Iraq had no WMD (which everyone else knew was the case) and when Iraq
descended into mayhem and civil war after Bush’s illegal and
ill-advised invasion in 2003 (which everyone else in the world knew would
be a disaster), “Nobody could have anticipated” there would be such disastrous repercussions.
On the other hand these same geniuses scoff at the very idea of climate
change, which everyone else on the planet knows is well under way and wreaking
havoc for many people across the globe. Speaking of climate change, have you
noticed that nobody is saying a word about climate change since Bernie Sanders
bowed out of the race? A pox on both houses.
Chrump and the
Con Way
Chrump’s campaign CEO du jour Stephen Bannon, who was charged
with, though not convicted of, assaulting this then wife in 1997 turns out to
have at least one other skeleton in his closet. Bannon’s ex-wife, in a sworn statement during divorce
proceedings, testified that Bannon opposed allowing their children to attend an
exclusive private school because of "the number of Jews that attend. He
doesn't like Jews and he didn't like the way they raise their kids to be whiney
brats and he doesn't want the girl going to school with Jews." Kellyanne
Conway, Chrump’s current campaign manager, insists that despite all information
to the contrary her candidate, who she despised a few short months ago while she
was running the (sorry to bring this up) Ted Cruz campaign, is in fact winning.
Conway tells the unfortunate listener that there are hordes of ‘secret Chrump
supporters’. Millions of people who are ashamed to admit to poll-takers that they
will vote for the Demented Pressurized Cheese Food Product currently all over
the place in the role of presidential candidate.
Frankly I’m not sure who is more frightening, those who are
unwilling to tell anyone that they support a lying, loudmouthed, cheating bigot
or those who proudly proclaim their approval. At least the secret supporters
have enough sense to realize that supporting Chrump is despicable and that they
are embarrassed to admit it. This would all be so much easier if Hillary
Clinton wasn’t so calculating, untrustworthy and unlikeable.
I. Mangrey reporting. Doc, it hurts when I do this. Mad
in USA
No one will ever forget where
they were when Chrump gave his famous “I Have a Problem” speech also known as
the “It Can’t Get Any Worse, What The Hell Have You Got To Lose” speech. Paying
homage to other great speeches like Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, Martin Luther King’s I have a Dream, JFK’s Ask Not
What Your Country Can Do For You inaugural address, Chrump also used words.
By absolutely no accounts
this speech was simply the best. At least that is what many people have
reported that many people are saying. It was moving. It was shouted. It was brutally
honest clueless. Nobody has ever spoken such words at black people. Not
to them mind you, since there weren’t any actual black people within earshot of
the Donald at the time. He spoke these fateful words directly to an almost
all-white audience in an almost all-white town not too terribly far from where
many black people live, but where Chrump and his fellow unravellers fear to
tread. They were very white words. From a very white (underneath the spray tan)
man, who is at least a second generation…let’s say non-lover of black people. A
man from whom black employees were forced to hide when the boss showed up at the
Chrump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City in the 1980s. I have no doubt
that this incredible speech will have a yuuuuuuuge impact on Chrump’s standing
with the black electorate. No more will he be pulling in a mere 2% of the black
vote. Can you say 0.1%?
Chrump, who has literally
tried to paint himself as a man of color – not an actual color mind you, but a
color nonetheless – in what for him passes as standing up for a black employee
accused of being lazy said, “And it’s probably not his fault because laziness
is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can
control.” But that didn’t stop Chrump from continuing to allow the blacks, as he likes to call them, to
be in his employ, “And isn’t it funny. I’ve got black accountants at Trump
Castle and Trump Plaza. Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind
of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every
day.”He has a great relationship
with the Jews. In 1973 Chrump was hit with a
housing discrimination lawsuit in New York City, which he settled two years
later along with a promise not to discriminate against blacks and other
minorities anymore. Ever a man of his word, the Justice Department had to sue
him again in 1977 for the same thing. And of course he made a political name
for himself hounding Barack Obama for not being born in America – and not in any way
because he is black. He claims he
has hard evidence, but just as he claims to have the best words, but seems
totally unwilling to share any of them with us, he has never produced one shred
of evidence to support his racist claim against the 44th president
who. How could anyone say Chrump is a
racist without a straight face?
Chrump
prepares for the first debate.
(R.I.P. Gene Wilder)
Chrump is now working harder
than ever. He has been told by his new handlers to pretend he is not the
flaming asshole he has unwaveringly shown himself to be. The thinking is that
by reading a few normal sounding sentences – with a wink and a smirk – and
acting remorseful for an hour or two, America will simply forget the fifteen
months of bigotry, meanness, childish name calling and general all-aroud
world-class assholery, not to mention a lifetime of lying, cheating, lying and
flip-flopping. And lying. Chrump is trying to sell himself as the Great White
Hype who, after his first term as president, will get more black support than
Barack Obama ever did. At a recent campaign event in a 95% white neighborhood,
to a 99% white audience Chrump yowled, “And at the end of four years, I
guarantee you that I will get over 95 percent of the African-American vote. I
promise you. Because I will produce.” A Chrump guarantee, good enough for me. I
plan to change my voter registration to black
so when I vote for Chrump it will really mean something.
Devout Capitalists
More brilliant policy
declarations from the same patriots who brought you, “Our top political
priority over the next two years should be to deny President Obama a second
term.” As always the Republican’ts are looking out for the little guy. Little
as in the size of the the percentage of the population they comprise, not
little as in the chance they have of anything more than mere survival. Not
those who decide whether to buy medicine or food this month, but those who
decide how much gold is appropriate for outfitting one’s yacht, or plane, or
servants. Brian Ballard, a former top Jeb Bush donor who is now Trump's finance
chair in Florida welcomed Trump's proposal to repeal the estate tax, calling it
"the linchpin of the conservative movement: they get you when you're
earning your money and they get you when you die." The estate tax affects the
incredibly small percentage of the population who leave more than $11M behind
for no other reason than, ‘You can’t take it with you.’ If you could, they
would. If only to stiff the country and all the little people upon whose backs
they made their wealth. Like making sure the president they despise (not
because he is black of course) serves only one term rather than making the best
of the situation, trying to work with the loyal opposition (who crushed their
guy and his dangerosly ignorant running mate) in order to run the country for
the good of all Americans. Patriots!
Laugh Now While
You Still Can
Many top comedians are
saying, and I mean this, so many people, that they will miss Donald Chrump come
election day and he and that stuff atop whatever that thing on his neck is will
finally be deposited into a HAZMAT container and carted off somewhere
inaccessible to human senses. They despise him, but they will miss all the free
jokes that write themselves day after day after day after day... Since I am not
a comedian I am free of the need for easy albeit hilarious jokes to be
delivered unto me free of charge in order to obtain cheap laughs from people
desperate not to know what is going on in American politics. This seemingly
endless supply of so-called free jokes is not free at all. The emotional and
psychological damage eroding away at the struggling comedian, reporter or
average citizen, if not the very soul of our nation – many people are saying
the world as a whole – along with the physical toll resulting from the sound of
his voice, the sight of his face and tiny hands...and tiny whatever, will not
be inconsequential, that I can tell you.
Hot on the heels of Chrump terrorizing America with his
first substantive (for him) speech on terror we have learned that the
unstable, uninformed, incurious, impulsive, verbally abusive, and easily
antagonized toxic narcissist has received his first classified briefing. The
Paying Attention office pool has him tweeting dangerous classified information
just after Labor Day as his poll numbers nation-wide and state by state
continue their nosedive toward sanity. Sources inside my head tell me that the
briefing consisted mostly of misdirection and fiction. Even the American
intelligence community is smarter than Donald Chrump, and refused to supply
Mr. Chrump with usable intelligence until, to borrow a phrase from Chrump, "our country's representatives can figure out what the
hell is going on" with the unhinged Republican’t nominee. Clearly we
need a new screening test for the threats we face from certain presidential
candidates who shall remain Donald Chrump...I mean nameless. I call it extreme
vetting. I. Call. It. Extreme. Extreme vetting. America needs
extreme enhanced vetting, perhaps even water-vetting before letting just
anyone run for president.
Roger and He
You know what they say, and many of them are saying it, pigs of a
feather wallow together. What could be a better fit than a misogynistic serial
adulterer who recreates Richard Nixon’s hateful, paranoid 1968 “Law and Order” crusade
and the blobulent, decades-long sexual harassment aficionado who fashioned
Nixon’s ‘68 campaign. The incredible Chrump is saying, “I’ll see your Debbie
Wasserman Schultz and raise you a sexual-harassment-suit-plagued Roger Ailes.” There’s
something else many people are saying, “Truth is stranger than Nixon.”
Bogus and the Beast
Chrump’s choices of new team leaders signal that he is thumbing
his nose…or his whatever at the Republican’t establishment. He is turning the
crazy up to 11½ and going for broke or bull goose loony whichever comes first. Chrump’s
previous campaign manager, Paul Manafort suddenly went dark and has now
“resigned” presumably to spend more time with his Russians. I wonder if the
stories emerging of his close and lucrative ties to Russian oligarchs, for whom
he lobbied here at home, caused him to reconsider his decision to poke the
public eye. I wonder if Chrump, who goes through campaign managers like he goes
through wives (He’s now on his third of each.), will continue fighting for
Putin for his own reasons – which are not unlike those of Manafort. According
to the Associated Press Manafort “directly orchestrated a covert Washington
lobbying operation on behalf of Ukraine’s (pro-Putin) ruling political party,
attempting to sway American public opinion in favor of the country’s
pro-Russian government…Paul Manafort and his deputy Rick Gates (another Chrump advisor),
never disclosed their work as foreign agents between 2012 and 2014 as required
under federal law.” Many people…many, many people are saying that this is
criminal behavior. That I can tell you. In his quest to Make America Sorry
Again Chrump is looking to be the exception that proves the old adage, “No
press is bad press.”
Speaking of Words
In his latest attack on words and the truth, the man who called
most Mexicans coming to America criminals and rapists, then demanded a ban on
all Muslims entering America, repeatedly degraded women, called Jews great
negotiators and mocked a handicapped reporter, called Hillary Clinton a “bigot”.
“Sometimes, in the heat of
debate and speaking on a multitude of issues, you don’t choose the right words,
or you say the wrong thing. I have done that. (10 second pause) And believe it
or not I have done that.” Strangely enough sir, I don’t believe that. What I
believe, and what many people are saying, is that you said exactly what you
meant to say. It is not your words nearly as much as your thoughts – such as
they are – that are the problem. When it comes to flip-flopping Chrump makes
Mitt “Etch-a-Sketch” Romney look like the Rock of Gibraltar.
Hey, anyone remember Donald
Chrump? The chameleon who only knows various shades of orange? He’s in all the
papers and the internets. Every single one of them. Every damn day. Several
times. Yeah, that guy. The guy who puts the tick in politic. Sucking the blood
out of the body politic until he explodes from his gluttony and inability to
know when to stop sucking.
You might have heard him
suggest that maybe “Second Amendment people” might stop a president Hillary
Clinton from appointing Supreme Court justices. He said he was joking and/or
misunderstood. I think he misunderstood himself. You probably heard him call
Barack Obama the “founder of ISIS”. Can he even hear himself? After repeating
this nonsense over several days he said he was being sarcastic. Then some days
later added, "So I said, the founder of ISIS. Obviously I’m being
sarcastic. Then, then -- but not that sarcastic, to be honest with you."
What? Did I say something? I didn't say anything.
Many many days ago on May 5,
2016, after clinching the nomination Nacho Chrump tittered, “You’ve been
hearing me say it’s a rigged system. But now I don’t say it anymore, because I
won. Okay? It’s true. You know, now I don’t care. I don’t care.” Well guess
what? He’s saying it again, because he’s losing. Bigly. Okay? It’s true. You
know, now he cares. Suddenly he cares again. Sad.
MoreOn Chrump
“The only way we can lose, in
my opinion – I really mean this, Pennsylvania is if cheating goes on and we
have to call up law enforcement and we have to have the sheriffs and the police
chiefs and everyone watching because if we get cheated out of this election, if
we get cheated out of a win in Pennsylvania, which is such a vital state
especially when I know what is happening here. She can’t beat what’s happening
here. The only way they can beat it in my opinion, and I mean this 100 percent,
if in certain sections of the state they cheat.” For those of you wisely not
paying close attention, when the Arsenic-laced Cream Sickle says he means
something 100%, that means he is totally kidding, unless you think what he said
was serious in which case, for you he was totally serious, but still really
kidding...but in a very serious way.
Chrump is ready to protect the vote in
“certain sections of the state” in Pennsylvania
Speaking of Pennsylvania
Out of the Keystone state
comes irrefutable proof that global warming is 100percent real, and I really mean this in a completely real
way. Temperatures there have been in the high 90s for over a week. Seeing as
every winter they kick and scream about how global warming is a hoax because it
is cold, I’m shocked that we haven’t seen Republicant’s wailing about how the
end of days is surely upon us since all of this extremely hot weather clearly
means the Earth will burst into flames any minute now.
James Inhofe (R-O(c)K(s in his head), Chairman of the Senate Environment
Committee
says climate change is a hoax because he found a snowball in February
In Other News…
I finally figured something
out. The stuff on Chrump’s head is not hair, it is optical fiber. That is how
he is able to change the color so easily. Okay, so I’m a little slow. Maybe it
would make it easier to find out what is going on in the world if they would
use fiber optics for transmitting information instead of wasting this amazing
technology on changing the hair coloring of “billionaires”.
The candidate spotted before tuning in his “hair”
Something else we know…
Donald Chrump does not know
the meaning of the words: founder, sarcastic, joking, making, religious, America,
honest, great, voting, again, democracy, wall, sacrifice, nuclear weapons,
university, steaks, hair, many people, winning, Second Amendment, cheating.
Chrump may have the best words, but he does not know the meaning of any of
them. More important, he does not care. Not one whit, or in his case, not one
half-whit. He just wants to make sounds come out of his face sphincter so the
cameras will continue to point at him and people keep talking about him.
Tune in next time when Chrump
talks about using nuclear weapons to win the election and threatens to have his
people arrest anyone not voting for him because "voting for Hillary
Clinton is cheating and may actually be against the law. I've heard many people
saying that this is true. Many people. I would never say it. I'm too busy
acting presidential."
I. Mangrey repairing. This hurts me more than it hurts you.
Many people are saying that Vladimir Putin is planning to
visit the United States in order to campaign for Donald Chrump. Many people. Believe
it. The impish Putin is crazy about Chrump by all accounts. In particular
Chrump’s talk of leaving NATO because it is “extremely expensive to the United
States” appeals to the former Cold War spy who would love to see NATO collapse.
Chrump has repeatedly explained that he thinks Putin is a great leader. Sure he
is a dictator who has opponents killed, but he says he likes Chrump and that’s
good enough for Donny. Oh, and the Chrump Empire is mortally dependent on
Russian money to since no American banks are willing to loan him a penny.
Chrump is presently denying that Putin is advising him on foreign affairs. He
also denies that the sky is blue.
Chrump is already selling his minions on the idea of playing
nice with his benefactor: “Wouldn’t it actually be wonderful if we could get
along with Russia? Wouldn’t that be nice?” No more Mr. Nice Chrump. He’ll show
those mean American banks. He will make them pay for not lending him money
anymore. He doesn’t need them anyway, he’s got plenty of Russians handing him
money and all the psychosis-enhancing substances he could ever want. Chrump
will show those pathetic American bankers how to make a great deal. Believe
him.
Lithuanian artistMindaugas Bonanu’s mural of Donnie
and Vlad
According to ex-Cia head (under Obama)/former deputy
director (under Bush II) Michael Morrell, “The dangers that flow from Mr.
Trump’s character are not just risks that would emerge if he became president.
It is already damaging our national security. President Vladimir V. Putin of
Russia was a career intelligence officer, trained to identify vulnerabilities
in an individual and to exploit them. That is exactly what he did early in the
primaries. Mr. Putin played upon Mr. Trump’s vulnerabilities by complimenting
him. He responded just as Mr. Putin had calculated…In the intelligence
business, we would say that Mr. Putin had recruited Mr. Trump as an unwitting
agent of the Russian Federation.” Emphasis on ‘unwitting’. This of course is
Chrump’s forte. They don’t make ‘em more unwitting than him. That I can tell
you. Morrell is just one in a long list of career diplomats and intelligence
veterans spanning the political spectrum who have been warning of the danger
Chrump poses to global stability. All of this intelligence doesn’t amount to a
hill of beans when stacked up against the millions of morons who trust Chrump
and Chrump alone. I am not saying that all of Chrump’s supporters are morons,
but many people are saying that this is his most reliable demographic.
More Losers
Fifty Republican’t big name national security experts and
advisors, including many of the assholes from the Bush/Cheney era who brought
us the illegal invasion of Iraq, the current destabilization of the entire
region and ISIS said of the current Republican’t candidate, “fundamentally, Mr.
Trump lacks the character, values, and experience to be President. He weakens
U.S. moral authority as the leader of the free world. In addition, Mr. Trump
has demonstrated repeatedly that he has little understanding of America’s vital
national interests…he would be the most reckless President in American
history.” This who’s who of WTF made it clear: “None of us will vote for Donald
Trump.” For some strange reason they are concerned that Chrump "appears to
lack the basic knowledge about and belief in the U.S. Constitution, U.S. laws
and U.S. institutions including religious tolerance, freedom of the press, and
an independent judiciary." Picky, picky, picky.
Chrump spat back, "I wasn’t using any of them and they
would have loved to have been involved with the campaign. Look at the terrible
job they’ve done. I hadn’t planned on using any of these people." To be
fair, most of these guys are horrible, war-mongering SOBs, but they are
generally darlings of the GOP. They despise Hillary Clinton yet felt compelled
to speak out on the shit-storm that is Donald J. Chrump. That I can tell you.
In Closing…
In 2008 Don Jr. told an interviewer, “Russians make up a
pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets...we see a lot of
money pouring in from Russia.” Many actual people have said that Chrump has for
many years been happily doing business with Russian oligarchs. His kind of
people. Are we?
I. Mangrey reporting.
I only do this because I care about you. Believe me. Mad in USA Wait! There's more below...
Right here in River City June 10, 2016 August 11, 2016
Every so often the muse strikes me. I meander back to my
younger years. Innocent musicals. Clever songs. Parody to be sculpted. The muse
struck me a few months ago but I didn’t want to break the rhythm I. Mangrey had
going. After all the Resignation Day(s) festivities I thought I would proffer
another round of rhyme. Feel free to sing along.
Ed Venture, Editor
He’s a what? He’s a what? He’s a m(ake yo)usic(k) man. He’s
a con. He’s a huckster. He’s a fraud and a nasty little child. He has come to
town promising this and promising that. He’s gonna make America great again.
Believe him. He has a very good brain. He has the best words, though he is
clearly keeping those to himself. He (says he) is very rich. He will make us
tired of winning. We’ve seen his kind before, just not as a presidential
candidate, and we’ve seen some real doozies in that role.
“Professor” Harold Hill
peddles piffle à la Chrump
We take you now to River City where…
Well, either you're closing your eyes to a situation you do
not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by
the presence of a fool candidate in your country.
Well, ya got trouble, my friend.
Right here, I say, trouble right here in River City.
Why, sure, I'm a serious voter, certainly mighty proud to
say
I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the minutes I spend
With a ballot in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense, and a cool head and a keen
eye.
J'ever take and try to give an iron-clad leave to yourself
From a president election ballot?
But just as I say it takes judgment, brains, and maturity
To score in a politics game, I say that any boob can take
and shove a lever, cast a ballot.
And I call that voting.
With a capital "V,"
And that rhymes with "C" and that stands for
Chrump!
The first big step on the road to the depths of degrada--
I say, first a primary vote for an Orange Buffoon,
Then he wins a nomination!
And the next thing ya know
You’re votin' for a monkey in a pinch back suit.
And orange colored face and orange hair
Hearin' him tell about Mexican rapists.
And buildin’ a wall, and changin’ his mind about ev’ry 30
seconds
Lyin’ like a rug through his bleached-white teeth!
And his sphincter-lookin’ mouth
Settin' on women, black folks people with IQs? Make your
blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Now, friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
Candidates in a primary.
Turkeys that erase the difference
Between a gentlemen and a bum.
With a capital "B,"
And that rhymes with "C" and that stands for Chrump!
And all year long
American will be fritterin' away,
I say you will be fritterin'.
Fritterin' and frettin’ for a year and a half and a week and
a day.
Get that chump in the White House,
Ya got trouble!
Folks!
Right here in River City!
Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "C"
And that stands for Chrump.
“Candidate” Donald Chrump –
defecating out of the wrong end of the tube
Now, I know all you folks are the right kind of people.
I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know
What kinda conversation goes on
While they're loafin' around that Chrump rally?
They'll be tryin' out racism, fascism, science denial
