Chrumpier Than Thou

El Chrumpo Extradited to White House Against Wishes of Most Americans

January 24, 2017

I cannot recall either hearing or hearing of an American president issuing a “decree.” That is precisely what I heard from the 45^th president the other day. Hair Chrump issued a decree. He used that word. It was childish and meaningless, and he probably does not know what a decree is, but a decree it was. He thinks he is the king. Making decrees. Other than his (first?) decree, his administration is off to a running start: making affordable housing less affordable, erring on the side of voter suppression in Texas, scrubbing the White House website of any mention of climate change, civil rights and healthcare, mortally wounding the Affordable Care Act. Now Der Furor has closed the White House switchboard comments line. A man of the people. Just not any people you know. Chrump retroactively issued a proclamation declaring January 20, 2017 a National Day of Patriotic Devotion because, "A new national pride [It is easy to understand how Chrump would mistake panic for pride.] stirs the American soul and inspires the American heart. We are one people, [Wrong] united by a common destiny and a shared purpose." Wrong. SAD!

Do Not Forget the Cabinet of Doom

While J. Beauregard Sessions was hiding under a table somewhere to avoid facing John Lewis’s testimony against Sessions’ appointment as Contemptable Attorney General another hearing was going on for Contemptable Secretary of State. One of the wealthiest and arguably the most heinous corporations on the planet – the folks who brought you severely doctored research on global climate change back in the 1970s, the folks who brought you Valdez, Alaska (did you think we forgot that you filthy murdering bastards?) – whose CEO has been tapped by Chrump as Secretary of State, under whose leadership his company violated trade embargos with Iran (did I say IRAN? (yes I believe I did)), and which owns almost five times more oil-soaked real estate in Russia than it does in the United States (remember the United States?) but cannot drill any oil on thanks to sanctions, is poised to have its CEO become the one person in the United States who can, ensure these sanctions are rescinded? That company is Exxon and its shameless Putin-loving, Earth-killing CEO is Rex Tillerson, whose sole purpose in life since he was 23 years old was the addition of commas and zeros to his beloved company’s (and his own) bottom line to exclusion of any other earthly consideration. I am as certain as I can be regarding this man’s allegiances as he commits perjury regarding Exxon’s provable lobbying of Congress during the hearing to approve his nomination. After all, he is the CEO of the company, what possible motivation could he have to use the second most powerful position in the “government” to help Exxon at the expense of nation? 

Nobody has to tell Americans to go f*#k themselves…we did it voluntarily

How many billionaires can dance on the heads of the poor?

Chrump crowed about having a cabinet with “by far the highest IQ of any Cabinet ever assembled.” Naturally Chrump has no idea what the IQ scores of his or any other cabinet ever assembled might or might not be. It is likely that Chrump equates dollars with IQ points. He probably does have the wealthiest cabinet ever dissembled. Combined (there are 17 of them) they have greater wealth than one third of actual everyday Americans, you know the kind of people that voted for Chrump because he was just plain folk, fighting for the little guy and draining the swamp. Did you not get the memo? Chrump like any good fascist, tries to hide behind claims he is a man of the people. He does not know any people. Spending all of his time with his family and other sycophants, Chrump would not know actual people if they bit him the leg.

The Chrump administration looks to be flush with billionaires - with or without an IQ. After all, who understands the needs and feelings of the average Joe better than those who have spent years stepping on, over and past him with nary a glance?

Steven Mnuchin (Goldman Sachs) Net Worth: At least $166 million and as much as $500 million

Secretary of Commerce: Wilbur Ross Jr. Net Worth: around $2.5 billion

Secretary of Labor: Andrew Puzder (fast food CEO)Net Worth: $45 million

Secretary of State: Rex Tillerson (EXXON CEO) Net Worth: $325 million, including $240 million in Exxon stock.

Secretary of Education: Betsy DeVos (heiress) Net Worth: $1.25 billion, with family wealth adding up to $3.85 billion more. She’s currently a member of three yacht clubs, three golf clubs, and one “premier private business and social club.”

Chrump’s cabinet so far – there are still two openings – is worth an estimated $4.5 billion, 60% higher than the combined wealth of Barack Obama’s current cabinet. Democracy Now estimates Chrump’s cabinet’s worth at $11 billion.

Chrump himself claims to be a billionaire. There is absolutely no proof of this. Given his propensity (to say the least) deal in alternative facts we can be certain he is using his own special facts. And you can’t have them. No facts for you!

Fun Non-Alternative Fact: Despite Chrump’s constant slamming of his opponents for palling around with Goldman Sachs, and now much to no one's surprise, he has five people from Goldman Sachs in high places in his administration.

Take that swamp!

I. Mangrey reporting.

                                                                                                          Mad in USA

Chrump Gets Chrumpier and Chrumpier

The Screeching Wheel Gets the Tweets

WTFFville
January 22, 2017

Spotted, then deleted from Chrump’s Twitter account.
Get out the spelling salts. What a maroon.

 

Chrump sure knows how to give a screech. At smaller venues he now brings a live applause track with him – an unknown number of lackeys who cheer, laugh and applaud at pre-arranged times. Once a reality show douche, always a reality show douche. For his inauguration, Chrump’s artificial coloring was as close to human as ever; his “hair” was glued into the best and squarest arrangement we have seen to date. After swearing to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” He has no idea what any of those words mean, and cares even less. He is only hoping that another Chrump supporter continues to be born every minute. After all the swearing in, at and off, Chrump briefly addressed a tiny crowd (a crowd that would be dwarfed the following day by women and the people who support them protesting the onset of the Chrump presIDency) and a fearful nation and world. He was, as expected, angry, depressingly dark and unhinged. Der Furor thanked “the world” for his election “victory”. Does he think that the whole world gets to vote for the president of the United States? Does he also think that they all voted for him? It is more likely that he thinks he is now king of the world.

Spongedon Square Hair hates on America at his in-aggravation screech

Orwell That Ends Well

If there is anyone who is slimier and more factually challenged than Chrump himself it is Kellyanne Conway. I have to disinfect myself every time I see her on the television. The day after the Worst Inauguration Ever, Chrump’s press secretary Sean Spicer, dressed like a homeless person and struggling to read his own statement, opened his first press briefing with an asinine assault on the media. The subject could not have been more critical to the future of our once-great-and-waiting-desperately-to-be-great-again nation. Spicer was apoplectic over the perceived misreporting of the crowd size at Chrump’s inauguration. What is it with these Chrumpers and size? Spicer excreted a spate of lies including, “This was the largest audience ever to witness an inauguration, period.” It was not. NOT. EVEN. CLOSE. Kellyanne Conway, after categorizing Chrump’s hysterical American Carnage speech as “beautiful and elegant," defended Spicer by saying he was simply presenting "alternative facts" (emphasis mine – fortunately you cannot see just how loud my emphasis is). And so it begins. Alt-reality begets alternative facts, begets the death of a nation. For the record, the 2017 inauguration was 18% smaller than Obama’s 2009 swearing in. George Orwell never dreamed of freaks like these people.

No. They are not. Why do you ask? Are you on drugs?
 



Fun Fact: 18% is the same percentage by which Chrump’s hands (and his whatever) are smaller than those of a normal person. Sad!

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Chrump’s Speeches During His Time in Awful Office But Were Too Smart to Ask

You know what they say about death and taxes. At this moment in history I would unreservedly welcome death and/or taxes, but for the time being another more pressing inevitability will be the inescapable necessity of hearing presIDent Chrump speak publicly about important issues. B.N. Formd uncovered a super secret actual document. Not one of those thousand blank pages Hair Chrump paraded briefly before classifying as critical for national security – like his tax returns, which are being eternally “audited”. For those of you who wisely prefer to avoid such unpleasantness, we present:

Chrump’s Speech Template

I am great. I will share my greatness with America. I will save America. Me. Make America great again. …the best. Lie about something meaningful. Lie about something meaningless. Whine. Lie. Something that doesn’t make much sense. (think about “hair”) Meaningless statement on policy issue. Repeat meaningless statement on policy issue. Childish slogan. Repeat childish slogan (if people cheer). Misuse common word. Me. Insult Hillary Clinton. Insult majority of Americans. Me. America is a disaster area. Platitude. Make America great again. Repeat platitude. (think about “hair”) Attack reporter. Continue attacking reporter and media in general. Lie. Whine. (think about “hair”) Lie. Misuse common term. Nobody wants to see my tax returns, which as you know are under audit. Different lie. Me. Whine. Pathetic slogan. Repeat pathetic slogan. Re-repeat pathetic slogan. Me. Inane phrase. Repeat inane phrase. Meaningless statement on policy issue. Repeat random words. Lie. Me. Lie.

You should also know…

Every president carries with him at all times something known as “The Biscuit.” The Biscuit is a card bearing the verification codes that launch nuclear weapons. You can probably guess who has it now. I hope the Idiot Bastard presIDent can distinguish The Biscuit from The Twitter. Neither history nor Chrump is on our side.

I. Mangrey reporting. Duck and cover.

                                                                                                          Mad in USA

Here it is, your moment of W…

Cheney tries to suffocate George W. Bush with a poncho
that looks like it might finish the job the pretzel could not.

Marching Like We Mean It...We Do

Unlike Phil Ochs, We Are A Marching Anymore

January 21, 2017

Just a quick word. I and I were down at the Women’s March in Philly earlier today. The crowd was more than double what was expected – as was the one in DC. Official estimates were 50,000 in Philly and 500,000 in DC. Both crowds were bigger than the crowd who showed up to hear Chrump get inaugurated and then deliver his already infamous “Carnage in Amerika” speech. If you have not heard it consider yourself lucky.

Out with the folks at Philly Women’s March

 

This is What Democracy Looks Like 

Shot of Philly crowd - Great Sign

 



Wider shot of Philly crowd

The crowd in DC

If like all of us here at Paying Attention you avoided being exposed to any of the enhanced inauguration techniques, you might want to see a few poignant and priceless shots of Michelle Obama in her valiant attempt to survive the event. She wore the expressions of the majority of Americans and countless people across the globe. Can you imagine – one of our nation’s most amazing and well-loved women – sitting through that? There are not enough words to express what her expressions say so very clearly.

 Michelle makes the face of a bad situation

Take note all ye in Congress and all the rest of you Swamp dwellers. We’re here, we’re in gear and you’re gonna hear.

The late great Phil Ochs

We are the majority. March every day in your own way.

Ed Venture

Inauguration Daze

I’m in a New Jerk State of Mind

January 20, 2017 – The First Day of the Last Throes of Your Life

I was out for my morning constitutional (nothing will ever be constitutional again I fear) and was pleasantly surprised to see there is still breathable air, and one would assume - somewhere behind the gathering clouds - the Sun. I will not assume the same come tomorrow, but or the moment I will remain hopeful. I have never tried writing while in a cold sweat, convulsing, with my head buried under the covers, but that is probably how I will be spending my day (if not the next four years) so here goes nothing. And nothing going sounds like a damn good idea right about now.

Heeeere’s Donny

Starting at one past noon today we will finally get to see just what-the-hell-we’ve-got-to-lose. For the majority of us it will be the ability to sleep or keep our food down. For many millions of us it will be health care and you know…the ability to be alive. For fewer millions of us it will be our freedom, our homes and/or families. For a sizeable minority it will be the ability to look at ourselves in the mirror because we voted for the most ignorant, incompetent, hateful, vengeful, narcissistic douchebag ever to dis-grace our nation’s highest office. The good news is that the shitstorm will not begin exactly at one past noon because as Der Furor told the Times of London, “… [D]ay one – which I will consider to be Monday as opposed to Friday or Saturday. Right? I mean my day one is going to be Monday because I don’t want to be signing and get it mixed up with lots of celebration.”(actual quote) Hang on to your whatevers folks, I expect a good bit of turbulence before we land. Make sure you know where your hair-sick bag is and as always be sure your Orange-gas mask is in place before you try to help anyone else put on theirs. Fortunately I managed to finish the piece below yesterday before total paralysis set in…

Press to Open

January 19, 2017

Chrump’s recent press conference tantrum showed off his unique (i.e., fascist) ability to intimidate the press. Don’t get me wrong, corporate media has been disgraceful in their coverage of Chrump throughout the campaign era. They let him get away with everything short of murder – Chrump, after all, only threatened murder (as far as we know). It remains critical to the very fabric of democracy that a free and independent press do the people’s work and call out the establishment when it flies in the face of the people’s best interests. Such behavior is already rampant as Chrump prepares to take our government as his own in order to demolish life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

During his first real press availability in almost six months. The Orange Gas Cloud shouted down a CNN reporter trying to ask a question, calling CNN fake news and refusing to let the reporter speak. The man with the fake hair, fake skin coloring, fake populism, fake wealth that he is putting into a fake blind trust, perpetual fake outrage, fake election victory, the man who is fake news personified, is all bent out of shape over any fake news that dare not emanate from his mouth, thumbs or wrong end of the feeding tube, or from his spokesmutants.

You’re a loser! And you’re a loser! You’re all losers! Sad!
I want all of you dishonest medias out of here now!

Chrump paraded out his lawyer to ‘splain how the very-well-sighted trust will work as the new Con-artist-in-chief divests the American public of any right to question His Hairiness and his business dealings. The attorney works for a prestigious law firm – the best law firm ever – Morgan, Lewis & Bockius – won the 2016 “Russia Law Firm of the Year” award. This is not fake news. Chrump is fake news. Real fake news. Or the new fake real.

Self portrait, painted by someone else

The prop du jour for this farce was an absurdly conspicuous pile of what to the low-IQ viewer appeared to be file folders. Reporters were not allowed to inspect the documents, which appeared to all present to be empty (like Chrump himself) and in mint condition (completely unlike Chrump).

Rene Magritte’s Fake Man with Fake Folders

Beyond Breaking

Broken News

It will be interesting to see if corporate media will continue to let Chrump crap all over it. Maybe reporters will decide that they might as well do their damn jobs. Chrump already hates their guts and nothing short of them going Full Conway and sugar coating every single vowel movement, blatant lie and dastardly deed will keep Chrump from treating the media like something he stepped in while fixing his “hair” on a windy day.

Naturally, Republican’ts believe the federal government is nothing more than a nuisance that interferes with corporate profits, while helping people who do not deserve help. They think much less of journalists, especially those who insist on fact finding and challenging the powerful as they attempt to run roughshod over the hoi polloi. In reality the façade of governments and nations is wearing thinner and thinner and has significantly less chance of survival as we move further into Alt-reality. This type of thinking is not new. It came up in the great 1976 Paddy Chayefsky movie Network. Although it’s been said many times, many ways...

The forces of nature do not stand a chance

Lest we imagine that this distaste for the press belongs solely to The Chrump, Paul Ryan wants to outlaw the First Amendment from Congress. Our founders obviously never intended the public to be privy to what they were doing. No photos or videos allowed on the House Floor since no photos or videos were allowed in 1776. Ayn Rand would be proud. George Washington’s teeth would burst into flames.

Donald Tinyhands cannot cope with a free and independent press – including what passes for such here in Amerika. As much as the press was the K-Y Jelly that eased Chrump’s penetration into the White House, they are still not submissive enough to placate his unquenchable thirst for attention and subservience. Unless they bow, scrape and massage his ever-wounded bloated ego, he will not be mollified. No one dare question the great and powerful Don. There is a plan afoot to banish the press from the White House press briefing room. They are to be moved off-site. Chrump referred to the press as, “among the most dishonest people in the world.” He harassed them, he threatened them, he caused his minions to verbally assault them to the point where one female reporter required armed protection lest the verbal assaults morphed into physical violence. Frank Zappa ironically, warningly told us many years ago, “It can’t happen here.” It is happening. Here. Now.

As always every word he utters is actually about himself

I. Mangrey reporting. Resist and replace.
If you see something, do something.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

And now, how about a moment of Zen…

Charles Mingus - Free Cell Block F, 'Tis Nazi U.S.A.

Inauguration Eve

The Day in Pictures

Chrumpington, DC
January 19, 2017

Here Comes The Chrump…

 

Chrump pretends to read, in preparation to pretend to be president

Chrump pretends to write inauguration speech
that he hired someone else to write.
His people say it is obviously a joke.
Many other people are saying the he is obviously a joke.

Chrump’s cabinet lands in Washington…

…and gets right to work

Unpresidented

An Amerikan Precedent

Chrumpington, DC
January 17, 2017

Unfortunately Newt is able to speak despite his foot-in-mouth disease

Newt Gingrich (who was booted as Speaker of the House - by his own party - for ethics violations) does not think Chrump should change the way he does things in order to comport with the laws of the land, but that the United States should change the way it has been doing things to suit the Chrump family. Good timing Newt the Kuwaiti embassy abruptly canceled its reservation for an event regularly held at the Four Seasons in Georgetown. Members of the Chrump Organization pressured the Kuwaiti ambassador to hold the event at a Chrumpier hotel owned by the soon-to-be Conflict-of-interest-in-chief. Not to worry though it will all be legal soon enough. Just ask disgraced scumbag Gingrich.

The Orange Gas Cloud pays a visit to
an unsuspecting town near you.

Precedent Chrump

The Constitution – if you have a copy, keep it secret, keep it safe – makes it very clear that the presidency of the United States is not meant to enrich the public servant at the head of the government, particularly by receiving favors or stuff from foreign countries who might hope to influence said public servant. The Emoluments Clause of Article I, Section 9 prohibits any “Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under [the United States]” from accepting “any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.” There are three important points that I am sure are paramount in Chrump’s “mind”: 1) if the foreign country in question simply takes it upon itself to give a present or emolument – even if that country is ‘persuaded’ by some unnamed party associated with the office holder – then surely the office holder has no choice but to accept such an unsolicited gift; anything else would surely be an insult, 2) rules are too politically correct and meant for losers, and 3) if the president does it then it is not illegal. I made up point number one, but I am sure we will hear something similar very soon. Point number two is obviously the way Chrump thinks about everything. Point number three was provided by the criminal madman known as Richard Nixon.

Speaking of precedents, a recent Gallup poll found that Chrump has a historically low approval rating for his transition to the White House, with 51 percent of Americans saying they disapprove of his performance, and only 44 (a CNN poll has this number at 40) percent approving of the oncoming presIDent. This is surprising for two reasons, neither of which explains though might be related to Chrump being the world’s sorest “winner”. First, that is a much larger number than the percent of voters who actually voted for the guy who lost the popular vote in a landslide. Second, these numbers set him apart from his predecessors bigly. What a surprise. A week before Inauguration Day in 2009, 83 percent of Americans said they approved of the way Barack Obama was managing his transition, with only 12 percent saying they disapproved. Even the similarly clueless George W. Bush, who, like Trump, lost the popular vote but won the Electoral College after the Supreme Court stopped the vote counting in Florida, had 61 percent approval to 25 percent disapproval a week out from Inauguration Day in 2001. Orange Julius Ceasar of course calls the polls “rigged”. We knew Chrump was unique, but who knew he was this special? Is the hornymoon over already?

In light of this information, Paying Attention has decided to leak the text of Chrump’s inaugural address, obtained from a group of hookers our intrepid rookie reporter B.N. Formd encountered while undercover outside Chrump Tower:

Soon-to-be iconic photo of "I am not a Chrump" moment
as King Don prepares to deface the White House

In case you have not seen this (I gave it a standing ovation)…

Key & Peele - Obama and Luther's Farewell Address

Speaking of Leaks

Der Furor was beside himself over a leak that did not come from his mouth. The fact-averse leak machine reprimanded the intelligence community of leaking and made his wittle feewings known immediately. He lied forcefully in defense of previous lies in the only way he knows how. First he tweeted it as the final bit of yet another electronic hot air tweetnado:

When you know nothing, you can say anything

 

Later that day, during the press conference to which Chrump brought a cheering section that did in fact cheer and applaud at the appropriate times, he had to say it aloud, in public, with other people present, reporters in fact, “I think it’s a disgrace. And I say that and I say that (sic). And that’s something that Nazi Germany would have done and did do. I think it’s a disgrace. That information that was false and fake and never happened, got released to the public.” That is simply unbelievable. Nothing like that has ever happened before.

A Chinese take on Chrump
Let’s hope China can keep a sense of humor

Asshole/Asset

Reporter: On that intelligence report, the second part of the conclusion was that Vladimir Putin ordered it because he aspired to help you on the election. Do you accept that part of the finding?

Chrump Thing: Well if, if Putin likes Donald Chrump…I consider that an asset not a liability.

Vladimir Putin considers Chrump an asset as well.

I. Mangrey (more than ever) reporting. Resist and Replace.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

John Lewis v. The Blob

This Really Sucks, But Don't Worry I’m Sure It Will Get Worse

Washington, DC
January 15, 2017

I understand the desire to put on a good face and show the world that we are a strong nation regardless of the fact that our presidential election was hacked, rigged, altered, fixed (more accurately the complete opposite of fixed), neutered, choose your own adverb. We are expected to show those sneaky Russians (and the head of the FBI) that despite their meddling and despite their having achieved the goal of putting the most absurd, incompetent, ignorant, dangerous and delusional nutbag in the White House, and rally behind our “president” and move forward. Make the best of what the majority of the citizenry believes is a very, very bad situation. But what would this really show the rest of the world? That we are gutless toadies who will just put our tails between our legs and put up with a potentially apocalyptic situation. I say NO. Actually, I say something much more colorful than that, but I am trying to keep this a family show...today. This is total unmitigated bullshit – well that didn’t last very long did it? Anyway, use whatever words you like, but I think it is a big mistake just to go along to get along. I am all in with John Lewis, an objectively verifiable man of courage, honor and forgiveness. Chuck Todd asked Lewis if he would be able to forge a relationship with the racist, fascist, pretender-in-chief. Not in those exact words unfortunately. The civil rights icon responded quietly, "It's going to be very difficult. I don't see this president-elect as a legitimate president." He added, "I think the Russians participated in helping this man get elected, and they helped destroy the candidacy of Hillary Clinton." Lewis gently and earnestly added, "I believe it was a conspiracy on the part of Russians and others to help him get elected. That's not right. That's not fair. That's not the open democratic process."

I know this is no surprise, given my penchant for spewing invective and my unabashed distaste for the Fetid Orange Gas Cloud, but I think we will all be much better off hounding his sorry ass every moment he continues the charade of being president. Chrump is neither a legitimate president nor a legitimate human being.

After having his skull fractured on the Edmund Pettus Bridge by racist cops as he marched with Martin Luther King, Jr. in 1965, John Lewis has been in Congress for 30 years and has never missed a presidential inauguration. He is planning to miss this one. “When you see something that is not right, not fair, not just, you have a moral obligation to do something. You cannot afford to be quiet.”

John Lewis (far right)

 



All too predictably, the Orange One lashed out on Twitter, somehow taking 17 minutes to finish his 280-character/44-word “thought”:

We cannot, for one single moment, allow this brutish moron to feel comfortable. If not for the antiquated Electoral College, the Russians and a meddling FBI chief Chrump would already be in history’s dustbin where he belongs. Now he will surely make history. And as Dick Smothers said to his brother many times, “That was not a compliment.”

There is little humor to be found at the moment. I hope to return you to your regularly scheduled laugh-a-minute sarcasm shortly.

I. Mangrey reporting. March. Fight back. No surrender.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

Eight Days Before We All Get Chrumpled to Death

Can You Say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH?

January 12, 2017

The reality-challenged sociopath in the Orange Asshole suit who has more faith in Moscow than he does in America and whose only interaction with computers is limited to tweeting, and who said, “Now, I don't know. What do I know about it? All I know is what's on the Internet,” now tells us, “I think that computers have complicated lives very greatly (sic). The whole Age of Computer has made it so nobody knows exactly what’s going on…” WTFF

The trouble we are about to be in is simply Chrumpian in proportions. Don’t know what that means? How could you? The words, the very possibilities cannot be imagined. We are in uncharted territory. Alt-reality is unfathomable to actual reality-based thinking. Imagine Christopher Columbus suddenly transported onto the Starship Enterprise. You think he was lost, in over his head sailing to "India"? Imagine him hurtling through space light years from Earth. How do you say, “What the fuck is a light year?” in Italian? We think we have some idea how stunningly cataclysmic Chrump can be. Uh uh folks. Sure there are checks and balances. Sure there are. Like Paul Ryan. Like Mitch McConnell. They will keep things on the straight and narrow-minded. Is this helping yet?

Do not worry, though these guys are technically in charge of much of what is about to happen, they too have no earthly way to predict the effects of the Chrumpstorm that is about to swallow them up and spit them out like Columbus on the Enterprise. They will not know what hit them. They will have immense trouble remembering their own names, let alone what their jobs are. Calling Chrump a psycho is a slap-in-the-face to mentally ill people everywhere.

Team Chrump is apoplectic that the intelligence community and President-still Obama, called out Chrump’s beloved Mother Russia for cyber warfare against – what is that called again – oh yeah, Amerika and dared to retaliate against Chrump and the Republicants’ new benefactor. A Chrump spokesman fretted that this was nothing more than an attempt to delegitimize the Chrump (GULP!) presIDency. My word! It is simply unthinkable that someone would try to delegitimize another man’s presidency. Imagine if someone started saying that the president of the United States needed to show his birth certificate because he was hiding the fact that he was not born in this country even though that president had already proven such and even though one need not be born in this country if one of one’s parents is an American citizen. Then imagine if that same person continued to disbelieve said president and then demanded his college transcripts as well. Then imagine that disgrace of a man accusing the president he spent years sliming of trying to delegitimize him after he got “elected” president thanks to help from the FBI and Vladimir Putin. It is all obviously very greatly hypothetical, but what a fun thought experiment.

He Read a Book?

Some years ago when pressed on awkward topics—such as whether or not he regularly read Adolf Hitler’s speeches - Chrump turned “skittish and, perhaps, inventive” according to Marie Brenner’s September 1990 Vanity Fair article:

In April 1989, perhaps in a surge of Czech nationalism, Ivana Trump told her lawyer Michael Kennedy that from time to time her husband reads a book of Hitler’s collected speeches, My New Order, which he keeps in a cabinet by his bed. Kennedy now guards a copy of My New Order in a closet at his office, as if it were a grenade. Hitler’s speeches, from his earliest days up through the Phony War of 1939, reveal his extraordinary ability as a master propagandist.

“Did your cousin John give you the Hitler speeches?” I asked Trump.

Trump hesitated. “Who told you that?”

“I don’t remember,” I said.

“Actually, it was my friend Marty Davis from Paramount who gave me a copy of Mein Kampf, and he’s a Jew.” (“I did give him a book about Hitler,” Marty Davis said. “But it was My New Order, Hitler’s speeches, not Mein Kampf. I thought he would find it interesting. I am his friend, but I’m not Jewish.”)

Later, Trump returned to this subject. “If I had these speeches, and I am not saying that I do, I would never read them.”

In his open letter to the incoming Republican’t dictatorship Ed Venture said, he was “not saying that Chrump loves Putin because he owes Putin untold amounts of money or because Putin is blackmailing him, but many people are saying this.” Since then we have learned that even more people are saying this, and those people are leaders of the American intelligence community. Although FBI director James Comey was more than willing to publicize, just a few days before the election, bogus innuendo to help the Russians sabotage Hillary Clinton (As I write this the Department of Justice announced it is investigating Comey for this incident.), he is remaining tight lipped about the latest information implicating Chrump and Moscow in a potential blackmail scheme. And guess who the chrump, I mean chump is and who is holding the winning hand in this scenario. I will give you a hint – it is not the guy who bankrupted four casinos. He would not know a winning hand if it was fondling his tiny man bits.

I. Mangrey reporting. Turn your head and scoff.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

Wretched Whackos Wrap-up

How the Hell Did We Get Here and Where the Fuck Are We and When Can We Leave?

January 11, 2017

I have been thinking far too much about who, how, what and where we are right now. But you knew that. It is possible that I might have hurt myself covering The Cabinet of Contemptables being put forward by the president-(der)elect we see materializing in front of us. The cavalcade of creeps, con artists and kooks that prospective conflict-of-interest-in-chief Chrump is assembling is not his dream team. This is the dream team of billionaires, generals, anti-science and anti-government freaks long preferred by the Republican’t party writ large. Chrump couldn’t care less about any of this and dreams only of himself. Whether asleep or awake. The only interruptions arise when he is dreaming about banging his daughter.

Is my daughter Ivanka hot or what?

The female-parent-fornicators in the Republican’t party, after voting to kill the Affordable Care Act 60 times over a period of six years, crying “repeal and replace” all the way home, still do not have a plan to replace. They are saying that the replace part might take a few years; the repeal however will take but a minute now that they control the House, the Senate and the White House. Republican’ts couldn’t care less about replacing anything – they all have medical insurance. And they keep getting elected over and over. This time they are going to help 30 million people, many of whom keep voting for them, get rid of their oppressive medical insurance, which Ben Carson compared to slavery.

Republican’ts are also poised to mutilate Social Security. Republican’ts despise the government, social safety nets (except when it benefits them), and they cherish Wall Street, war, hatred and white people. The rest of it is just collateral detritus to them. The purpose of everything they do is to put more money in the hands of those who already have most of the money. Period. Remember, a rising tide lifts all yachts.

Female-Parent-Fornicators All

Maybe I am getting old, but I have already lost count of the number of at-best-shaky deals being done by the Chrump family in their never ending efforts to con everyone within earshot and pad their bank accounts, now with the blessing of the full faith and credit full farce and incredulity of the Amerikan presidency. First we had the Bid Big Bucks for Coffee With Ivanka scam that her brother put the kibosh on once everyone became aware of it, then there was the strong-arming of the Kuwaiti ambassador to change the venue of an event to Chrump International in DC, we also have an inaugural fundraiser (not sure exactly what the funds are for) to go a hunting with big game hunters Eric and Don Jr. – "Camouflage & Cufflinks" is the preferred attire at the event, to be held one day after the inauguration in downtown Washington, and now we have this: the Center for Public Integrity reported Monday that Eric and Don Jr. just created a new “non-profit” that will be hosting a charity event over inauguration weekend offering top-tier donors access to the President-elect and themselves. The old Chrump “non-profit”, which was shut down by New York’s attorney general for failure to file the proper paperwork, was used to buy paintings of Chrump and to pay off court settlements for the man who never settles court cases. I need to start me one of them non-profit thingies myself.

I cannot quite see who is wearing the cufflinks from here.

The Orange Roughy Stinks From the Head Down

Chrump continues to unceasingly pommel us with ignorant, dangerous, excruciating words and deeds every five minutes, so much so that it is hard to focus on any one thing sufficiently. Similarly with each successive cabinet pick our heads come a little closer to exploding. However let us not lose sight of the fact that no matter how horrifying each member of Team Chrump may seem, after all is said and done the Orange Roughy has Stephen Bannon, known as Chrump’s brain, – a neo-Nazi, Ku Kux Klan, white nationalist sympathizer – as his number one advisor. Never forget.

I. Mangrey and B.N. Formd reporting.
Hound your senators and congress people relentlessly.

 

 

Bonus stuff:

Loyal reader Cucamonga has requested…demanded really, that these overly flattering pictures of Der Furor be posted here at Paying Attention. How could I resist?

One of these birdbrained freaks of nature
is about to become leader of the “free” world

A face that only a motherf*#ker could love
My respect for Chrump knows no existence