Is That a Bell I Hear Tolling?

Things Are Not as Bad as They Appear…They’re Worse

June 11, 2018

The list of incidents of Chrump, et al propagating fascist fear mongering and scapegoating, and using Nazi phraseology just checked of another box.  As the saying goes, this is not a bug, it’s a feature.  Many people still remember when the man no one thought could ever be anything other than a reality TV hack, took an escalator to a podium and pronounced that Mexicans were criminals and rapists.  And, it has all been an excruciatingly slow descent on the down escalator from there.

Next, Chrump made anti-Semite, alt-right maven and real fake news purveyor Steve Bannon his chief of staff.  Bannon of course, went on to lose his job to the more refined racist Gen. John Kelly.  Soon after leaving the West Wing, Sloppy Steve, as his ex-boss/puppet called him, attended the party congress of France's far-right National Front, where he told the neo-fascist audience, “Let them call you racist. Let them call you xenophobes. Let them call you nativists.  Wear it as a badge of honor. Because every day, we get stronger and they get weaker.”  It is reported that Chrump and Bannon remain close.

Then Chrump started in with his “America First” mantra, a phrase previously linked to anti-Semitism, and used by pro-Nazi sympathizers in America during World War II.  Even Dr. Seuss (yes, that Dr. Seuss) weighed in:

“From this day forward,” Trump said at one point, “it’s going to be only America first. America first.”

Chrump has said, “I’m not isolationist, but I am ‘America First.’  So I like the expression. I’m ‘America First.’”  So, spitting in the faces of every single ally every day and twice during the G-7 summit is something other than isolationist?  It is entirely possible that this ignoramus really does not know anything.  Perhaps he sustained a serious “brain” injury when Canada burned down the White House in 1973. 
 

Trashing NATO, NAFTA, the Paris Climate Accord, TPP could be seen by some as isolationist.  Don’t get me wrong, with the exception of the Paris Accord, all of the other examples are seriously flawed, but unilaterally walking away might not be the best way to improve things.  Forget about Chrump listening to other world leaders.  He does not even listen to his advisors – with the exception of Sean Hannity, John Bolton and Vladimir Putin.  How much more isolated can this cretin get?  Now, Chrump has backed out of the joint statement he signed along with the other six members of the G-7. 

Chrump stood by his alt-right, white nationalist, neo-nazi supporters who chanted numerous Nazi slogans in Charlottesville, stunning sentient Americans when he claimed that some of those violent racists were “very fine people.”

Et Tu, Douchebag?

Which brings us to the latest poison dart from two of Chrump’s Fux News rejects now working in Chrump’s West Wing.  After the G-7, Justin Trudeau reiterated what he has been saying since the moment Chrump threatened Canada with ridiculous sanctions.  The Wall Street Journal has warned the Republican’t leaders to stop Chrump from his ludicrous economic foreign policy escapades, for fear of collapsing the American economy.  Instead, party leaders refuse to remove their heads from their asses, and continue to enable the Disaster-in-chief.  To add Nazi to injury, Fux’s Larry Kudlow and Peter Navarro both released the new talking point from Chrumpland, Justin Trudeau stabbed Donald Chrump in the back.

Nuclear security consultant Cheryl Rofer, reminded the New York Times and others that the idea of being stabbed in the back, “was a favorite of Hitler's. Germany was stabbed in the back by Europe in the Treaty of Versailles.”  Coincidence?

I (don’t) wonder who they could be.

 

Coincidence or not, Chrump knows that there is no way he will be attracting new supporters, so all he can do is make sure, now that he is distilling his base down to its lowest common deplorable, that he keeps these folks entertained, enraged and enabled. 

At some point, the cause becomes much less significant than the effect, and it becomes wiser to treat the fascist, accidental or otherwise, as the immanent and imminent threat that it is.

Actual tweet, slightly altered

I. Mangrey reporting. Never forget.

From South Canada to North Korea

A Funny Thing Happened on The Way to The Freakshow

June 10, 2018

As expected, Donald Chrump spent his time at the G-7 lying about trade deficits, dissing all of our allies and pimping for Vladimir Putin.  The only good news for the other six members of the summit was that Chrump showed up late and left 24 hours early.  He most likely showed up late both to spite Trudeau, whose opening remarks Chrump missed, and because the first order of business was a meeting on women's empowerment.  Chrump also likely left early, not just to leave enough time to manage his “hair” before his big date with Kim (He probably thinks it's Kardashian again.), but in order to avoid all that useless talk about climate, clean energy and oceans.

On his way to Singapore, Der Furor backed out of the G-7 joint statement and all but declared war on Canada. 

According to authoritarian regime expert Sarah Kendzior, “Europe is trying to protect itself from Russia…and from the United States.”   One Fux News host waxed breathless about the historic nature of the upcoming summit, “regardless of what happens in that meeting between the two dictators.”

Chrump did surprise everyone by holding an impromptu press conference, where he acted very presidential (except for the fact that seemed barely conscious, calling CNN fake news, and the fact that he is clearly delusional and constantly lying), and answered questions.  When asked if he had and objective for his immanent meeting with Kim Jong Un, he basically replied that he has a clear objective, but he does not know what it is, and will winging it, adding that he will know how it will end up in the first few seconds.  That is, assuming he is actually awake during that time.

Chrump just before he flew the coop for Singapore

America’s Criminal-in-chief is now in talks with North Korea without bothering to broach the subject of human rights.  Chrump already hosted the pariah nation’s top spy in the Oval Office and kissed his ass.  This is the same fake prezident who brought Russians into the Oval Office, allowing their press in, but not the American press.  During that visit, Chrump divulged secret intelligence that endangered Israeli strategy.  Who knows what he gave away to the North Korean.  You can be sure Chrump doesn’t.  Der Furor is laser focused on making North Korea great again.   Chrump deigned to speak in public about his upcoming hair-a-hair with Kim Jong Un, “I think I’m very well prepared. I don’t think I have to prepare very much. It’s about the attitude.”  Everyone knows that Chrump has the best attitude.

And he got a spiffy new outfit for the occasion.
Finally, something that fits properly.

 

When we last met, the world was holding its breath on the eve of the G-7 summit in Quebec.  It is well known that Chrump is no fan of democracies or the weak phonies he says leads them.  He has made it clear that he is more impressed with strong leaders like Saddam Hussein, Rodrigo Duterte, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un and China’s newly minted president-for-life Xi Jinping.  Everyone knew the G-7 was only a warm-up for Chrump’s big night out with North Korea’s L’il Kim.  Who will give who the rose?  Who will get nuked?  Will they kiss and make up?  Will Kim try to get a date with Ivanka?  Will Dennis Rodman be Chrump’s wingman?  Will Chrump call the next morning to beg for another date?

 

I. Mangrey resounding.

Mayhem on The Canada Express

On The Eve of The War of 2018

June 8, 2018

As he was preparing for the upcoming G-7 meeting Chrump took a moment to insult intelligence, history and an important neighbor and ally asking Canada’s Justin Trudeau “Didn’t you guys burn down the White House?”  Many people are saying that this was a reference to the War of 1812 and Chrump being one of the most ignorant sons-of-bitches ever to have someone lace up a pair of shoes for him.  Is he really that stupid? Or was this just another lie.  I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one, and assume he is simply as knowledgeable as a knockwurst.

Chrump continues his unceasing efforts to offend every ally, as severely and often as possible, in order to impress Sean Hannity and Vladimir Putin.  In his latest (as of June 8, 2018 6:00am EST) mean, ignorant buffoonery, Chrump squeezed out some tweets to anger two of our oldest allies:

 

Apparently, Der Furor thinks he is going to a roast, and is warming up his funny bone.   Reports also indicate that Fat Man Little Boy thinks the whole G-7 thing is a waste of his precious time, when he should be focusing on his big date in Singapore next week – assuming he is still doing that one. 

Sources say that Chrump is not interested in being lectured to by a bunch of people who actually know what they are talking about.  “I know more about world money things than all the rest of these losers.  They are not going to keep taking advantage of America any more.  Not while I’m around.  I have the best people working for me, not that I listen to any of them, except Sean Hannity, who has great ratings by the way.  So, I will go to this fake meeting, but I’m not going to listen to anyone but my very smart man in the mirror.  Now watch this drive.”

Chrump tearing up the links…literally

 



The news from the White House is that Chrump's staffers expect the G-7 meeting in Quebec to go badly. Most are saying they expect it will be an unmitigated disaster. Chrump’s aides are frantically preparing for a week of, “He meant to do that.  We purposely did not divulge the president’s excellent plan exactly because of what is happening right now.  We knew that all of you in the fake press would be screaming an moaning just because you don’t understand how the president’s mind works.  So, he almost choked-out the president of Mexico.  It was a joke.  They guy refuses to pay for the fucking wall, so he made him shit a brick.  Get it?  Of course he rubbed himself against Angela Merkel.  This is absolutely brilliant foreign policy and you will soon see how this will tip the scales in America’s favor.”

In order to get out ahead of (hopefully not literally) punching every other attendee in the nose, Chrump State Department official, and former Fux News model Heather Nauert threw some serious political-science-fiction, citing the D-Day invasion as an example of our "very strong" relationship with Germany.  Yeah, those were the good old D-Days.

Off The Rails

I cannot tell you why, but the upcoming G-7 makes me think of Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express.  I think I have some idea why, but I cannot tell you.  If you think about it, you too might be struck by some reason to conflate the two scenarios.  Aboard the train, in Christie’s classic mystery, a malevolent, elderly American attempts to hire Christie’s renowned inspector, Hercule Poirot because he believes his life is threatened, but Poirot refuses out of distaste for the man.  For the sake of argument and my personal well-being, it is my sworn statement that I cannot remember how the story ends.  All I can remember is the nasty old man on a train full of people and I have a vague recollection that something bad happened to someone on the train.  You will have to ask Agatha Christie.  Or Siri.  Or Wikipedia.

Chrump is planning to leave the meeting early in order to have enough time to do his “hair” for his next big event – the June 12 Singapore Smackdown with Kim Jong Un.  Two lunatics go in – only one will come out unscathed.  My money is on the short fat one, not the big fat one.

I. Mangrey retraining.  All a-bored.

Pruitt Pathetically Parlays Position Per Diem

A Stain on His Sullied Reputation?

June 7, 2018

Amid the swarm of allegations, innumerable clear ethics violations and sundry wrongdoings, not to mention his all-around hatred of the environment his Agency was created to – what’s that word – oh yeah: Protect, we now find that EPA head (sans brain) Scott Pruitt sent a government employee to run personal errands. This is not what one would call legal.  Millan Hupp, one of his top aides, who Pruitt describes as a longtime friend, dating back to his days in Oklahoma, told lawmakers that she had one of her boss’s personal credit cards and happily managed personal requests from Pruitt because of their personal friendship.  Hupp told the House Oversight Committee, “Well, we worked very closely together and spent a lot of time together. I traveled with him, so naturally a friendship developed.”  Naturally. Pruitt is a super friendly guy.  Unless he is forced to mingle with the hoi polloi back in coach.

The environment is out to get us all. Death to the Earth!!

Ms. Hupp subsequently volunteered, “Scott…I mean, Secretary Pruitt asked me to purchase a certain blue dress… I mean a used mattress from Chrump International Hotel.  I’m sure this had nothing to do with that time, or was it two, when we had to share a room at the hotel.  Everyone knows how thrifty Mr. Pruitt is.  He would never waste money, especially the taxpayers’ money.  He is such a wonderful man.  It was all totally innocent.  There’s no way there were any inconvenient stains on that mattress, since we’ve never slept together.  After all, Scott…I mean Mr. Pruitt is a happily married man and has never said he would leave his wife to be with me.  That would be wrong, wouldn’t it?  Sure, we work really late sometimes.  It’s so easy to lose track of the time when you love your boss…I mean your job so much.  I’m sure there are hundreds of good reasons why someone who illegally spends thousands and thousands of government dollars on personal trips, soundproof phone booths, and a dozen custom-made fountain pens costing $1,560, would want to buy a used mattress from a hotel.  Everyone loves used mattresses, used toilet paper and used condoms. Right?”

Hupp has now resigned.  Apparently, she is the second Hupp sister to leave Pruitt’s titanic agency.  But not Pruitt.  WTFF.  When Atlantic reporter Elaina Plott reached EPA spokesperson Jahan Wilcox, by phone to confirm the second Hupp’s departure, Wilcox would not comment, preferring to respond, “You have a great day, you’re a piece of trash.”

As though it was possible to add one to infinity, another quintessential Pruitt whoopsie hit the presses.  Pruitt – a one-man swamp – was caught red-handed trying to abuse his office, contacting the Chick-fil-A CEO to obtain for his wife (at least it wasn’t his used mattress buddy) a franchise.  We have the emails.  Chick-fil-A has confirmed the attempted shakedown.

I. Mangrey raking muck.  I gotta get a bigger rake.

 

Fifty Years On

Fear and Loathing in The Land of The ‘Fraid, Home of Depraved

June 6, 2018

The last thing we want to do here at Paying Attention is to get serious, but desperate times call for depressing measures.  In those few moments when we do get serious here, we hand things over to our benefactor and unwitting overlord Steve Gallop.  A humorless and merciless observer of politics and humanity, Steve has set the basic tone for what you see here on a regular basis.  We felt the need to hand the reins over for some serious bizness. 

The Beginning of The End

It was 50 years ago today that saw what I still feel was one of the most significant crossroads in American history.  As is so often the case, that moment was the consequence of gunshots and a bloody death.

On June 5, 1968 Robert F. Kennedy was assassinated immediately after winning the California primary, and very likely on his way to the Democratic nomination to run against Richard Nixon.  He was laid to rest 50 years ago today.  Bobby Kennedy, from what I can tell, was the real deal.  By the time he decided to run for president, he had moved himself to the right side of history.  He would have taken this country, or tried to at least, in a more honorable, more egalitarian and less war-based direction.  Kennedy brought positivity, empathy and hope in the face of the Vietnam War, the civil rights movement –punctuated barely a month earlier by the assassination of Martin Luther King – and of course, the still lingering shock resulting from his own brother’s assassination just a few years earlier.

No one is perfect, and Bobby Kennedy surely had his skeletons, but he truly seemed to have evolved leading up to his tragically shortened run for the White House.  He supported civil rights, workers’ rights and peace in Vietnam.  His death left the Democrats with the milquetoast Hubert Humphrey, and ultimately, the nation with the depraved, hateful and paranoid Richard Nixon. 

Obviously, no one knows what might have been, but everyone knows what actually has been.  Nixon changed the landscape forever.  He gave us Henry Kissinger, Watergate and Roger Ailes (the future head of Fox News and a man whose very name is a succinct statement of fact, if not warning).  Nixon and Ailes intensified and perfected political dirty tricks.  Nixon fucked himself and this nation with tremendous aplomb and severity. 

The road from RFK to today would have likely brought us to a very different place than the one we inhabit today.  We would have had 50 years of trying instead of festering.  And now, thanks to the current part-time occupant of the White House, backsliding faster and farther than anyone in their right mind could imagine, let alone tolerate.

 “A revolution is coming.  A revolution which will be peaceful if we are wise enough; compassionate if we care enough; successful if we are fortunate enough.  But a revolution which is coming whether we will it or not.  We can affect its character; we cannot alter its inevitability.”                                                Bobby Kennedy, May 1966

Obviously Kennedy was sadly mistaken about the last line in this quote.  If there ever was an inevitability to the revolution he saw, and was poised to have a hand in, that inevitability was shot to death the night of June 5, 1968, and laid to rest the following day.  Perhaps the unmitigated gall of the current administration will awaken the America that Bobby Kennedy saw off in the distance.  Perhaps, we are now poised to fulfill an entirely different destiny – the one imagined by people like John C. Calhoun, Joseph McCarthy, Jesse Helms, Strom Thurmond, George Wallace, Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney, Grover Norquist, Roy Moore, Wayne LaPierre, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Joe Arpaio, Steve Bannon, Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Mike Pence, Vladimir Putin and their fellow travelers.  I did not include Donald J. Trump in this list because he has no vision for America.  Only a vision for himself, for that is the only thing he can ever see when he looks anywhere.  Nonetheless, I suspect our answer will become known on November 7, 2018.

It takes an incredible amount of effort to move forward, to try to do the right thing to make positive change in a life, let alone in a society.  Bobby Kennedy had done the former, and was poised to give his best effort to do the latter.  But, it only takes a moment, the blink of an eye, the flash of a muzzle, the end of a life, to start a downward spiral that can last a lifetime or a century.

If you have ever talked politics with me, you know that I believe the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy was a watershed moment in American history that sent this country swirling down the drain into the cesspool that is now Donald J. Trump.  Yes, we have managed to come up for air for brief spates, just long enough to avoid brain death...so far. Donald Trump may be but a symptom, but so is angina.  Such symptoms, left untreated…well, you know.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled mayhem/merriment.

Steve Gallop
Concerned Citizen

Eagles Defeat Un-Patriots

Eagles v. Chrump

City of Brotherly Love
June 5, 2018

The Philadelphia Eagles, hot off their Super Bowl LII victory over the New England Patriots, have now handed a stunning, if unsurprising defeat to the Child-in-chief of the United States and renowned un-patriot, Donald J. Chrump.  Chrump, you may recall, has been obsessed with public displays of affection for symbols of our democracy.  Der Furor, as everyone is calling him, has no affection whatsoever for our – or any – democracy, as evidenced by his continuing demands for loyalty to him, and for the end of criminal investigations into his alleged (not really) crimes, and his attempts to dismantle the free press and the justice department. 

Reports are that half of the Eagles team decided not to attend any event with the least patriotic president in American history.  After Chrump realized that he was being shunned, he cancelled the event, instead holding a “celebration of the American flag” featuring the United States Marine Band and the United States Army Chorus performing the Star Spangled Banner – a song whose lyrics, like the words in the Constitution, are unknown to Donald Chrump.  A number of the Eagles were highly visible participants in the respectful exercise of First Amendment rights of peaceful protest during NFL games, though no Eagles knelt during the anthem during the 2017 season, while Chrump disgraces this nation on a daily basis.  It seems that Hair Chrump does not want anyone to kneel during the national anthem, but does want them to kneel before him.

Once the president had completed his morning thumb-and-bowel movements, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Slanders gave a statement, “Unfortunately, the Eagles offered to send only a tiny handful of representatives, while making clear that the great majority of players would not attend the event, despite planning to be in D.C. today.  In other words, the vast majority of the Eagles team decided to abandon their fans.”  Speaking as a long time Eagles fan, and fairly recent foe of Sarah Slanders, I can say without fear of contradiction, that Slanders is a lying bag of hate with only one mentally unstable fan.  And, the Philadelphia Eagles remain beloved by their hometown millions, 90 percent of whom did not vote for, detest with every ounce of brotherly love in their bodies, and wish they had never heard of Slimy Sarah’s lone, loon of a fan.

In his defense, Mr. Chrump has no familiarity with any part of the Constitution other than the least significant, closing phrase of the Second Amendment, which, according to our sources, is repeated to Chrump each night by Sean Hannity before he nods off on the toilet.

First Amendment in action. Someone should read
and explain it to Chrump.

Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney said that he is “equally proud of the Eagles’ activism off the field” and that the players “represent the diversity of our nation — a nation in which we are free to express our opinions.  Disinviting them from the White House only proves that our President is not a true patriot, but a fragile egomaniac obsessed with crowd size and afraid of the embarrassment of throwing a party to which no one wants to attend.”

Kenney also said of the Child-in-chief, “I don't how you can make your case to a child who acts childish, who changes his opinion and his statements every single day and who, frankly, frightens me more than I was frightened in 1968 during the height of the Vietnam War.”

Maybe one day, after all his brain spurs wear off, Chrump will find it in his tiny little heart to PARDON the Eagles players for their intolerable adherence to the spirit and the letter of the Constitution and American democracy.

I. Mangrey bleeding green.  Go EAGLES.

Enhanced Legal Techniques, Part 1

Tortured Logic

June 4, 2018

The last Republican’t president brought in lawyers like John Yoo to find a way to pretend that torture was legal.  They tortured the language, rebranded war crimes, and came up with wonderful terms like enhanced interrogation to justify implementing techniques that our government previously prosecuted others for doing.  Waterboarding in particular was vilified by the United States in the past, but somehow was a preferred procedure under Bush/Cheney. 

Cheney recently crawled out from beneath his secret undisclosed rock to torture us once again, hissing that we should be proud of our horrendous past behavior.  The Dark Load shamelessly says we should resume torture and other war crimes, if only to enable the wraith Cheney to 1) look at himself in the mirror (whether or not there is any reflection), and 2) sleep at night (whether he does so in a normal bed or a coffin).

While the last Republican’t administration insisted that torture was lawful, the current one is now asserting that our laws are torture.  Many people are saying that the very essence of the Chrump administration is far worse than waterboarding, and our laws seem to have been relegated to the bargain bin at Borders Books.  Does Borders Books even exist anymore? 

Meanwhile, the media is tripping over its…let’s say tongue, to avoid calling Donald Chrump a liar. They say he deals in falsehoods, he is unsure of the facts, makes misstatements, and has a unique way with words – they are parsing; he is lying.  He says he is joking – he is not just lying, he is torturing the truth.  Reporters need to stop coddling Prezident Demented Cupie Doll and dispense some journalistic judo. 

The media might be interested to know that Chrump has lied more than 3,000 times in his first 500 days since he took the oath of office.  This lie count comes to 6.5 lies per day (up from 4.9/day over his first 100 days), but as has been noted previously here, out of those 500 days, he has only been “working” approximately 200 of those.  That brings the daily total closer to fifteen per day. And, considering the fact that a typical Chrump work day lasts about four or five hours, that is at least three lies per hour, or one lie every 20 minutes.  Most fact checkers – at least those who have not had to file for disability – did not count the fact that he lied while taking the oath of office…you know, when he swore to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”  Chrump lies more frequently than he breathes, and the lying clearly takes much less effort.

Chrump’s “lawyers,” some gone back into private malpractice, some still working for Chrump, insist that a sitting president cannot be touched by the laws of the land.  A 20 page letter (presumably with the best words), sent to Robert Mueller some time ago, included some enhanced legal arguments.  One such argument held that a sitting, or even a golfing president cannot be guilty of obstruction of justice.  I believe the idea is that this president cannot obstruct justice since he has no idea what justice is, but he is quite certain that whatever it is, it does not apply to him.  And who, in their right mind would argue with such a stable genius?

 

According to Chrump’s current spokesmodel, Rudy G Who Works For Free, “In no case can he be subpoenaed or indicted. I don’t know how you can indict while he’s in office. No matter what it is.  If he shot James Comey, he’d be impeached the next day.  Impeach him, and then you can do whatever you want to do to him.”  Can we quote you on that last part?

Rudy G: I hope he is smarter than he looks.
Spoiler Alert: He is not.

Rudy further blathered, “This is the reason you don't let the president testify.  Our recollection keeps changing, or we're not even asked a question and somebody makes an assumption.”  Is this guy actually awake when he talks on the television machine?

I. Mangrey repatriating.  They’re cuckoo for cocoa puffs…or something.

Chrump To Win Nobel Putz Prize

Two Equals on The World Stage

June 2, 2018

Donald Chrump recently met with Kim Kardashian in the Oval Office.  Why not?  She is an important figure in American political discourse.  Always has been.  And, she has (had?) her own show, which gets her to the top of Chrump’s busy golfing schedule.  She certainly is no less serious a political player than Chrump. 

Highly placed White House sources have told Paying Attention – under condition of non-existence – that Chrump thought she was actually Kim Jong Un.  After the meeting, Chrump spoke to no one in particular in the White House Rose Garden.

“I have just had a historic meeting with the leader of West Korea.  They said it would not happen.  Fake news.  Very fake news.  I also said it would not happen, but that was after and before I said it would happen.  I’ve said a lot of things.  I still have the best words and a very good brain.  Just ask me.  We had a very good talk.  And, I got it done under budget and ahead of schedule.  The fake news totally missed the whole thing.  Mostly I just shook my head and said yes.  Hey, this guy had his uncle killed by dogs.  Pretty impressive.  I may have to try this some time myself.  He’s a very strong leader.  I think he really likes me.  He said many nice things about me, so I said some very nice things about him.  Very nice.

The one smiling like an idiot thinks he’s about to win the Nobel Peace Prize

 

I know more about these things than all the experts.  And everyone agrees with me on this.  Kim was surprisingly friendly and he has really done much better with his hair.  Kim assured me that there are no more nuclear weapons in West Korea…or wherever he is.  And, anyway, who cares if they do?  Did I mention he said very nice things about me?  We are getting along very well, so I think it doesn’t matter anymore how many nukes they have.  After all, we have nukes why shouldn’t everyone have them.  It’s not like they’re dangerous.  I hesitate to say this, but he could really give Ivanka a run for her money.  And Ivanka has a lot of money – much more today than she did a year ago, which has nothing at all to do with me being president.  Believe me.  I am not making deals all over the world that have a very good effect on my companies that I have nothing whatsoever to do with while I’m running the country.  I could be doing both, but that wouldn’t look too good, although very soon I will not be giving a shit about that.  America will be doing so great, and Zombie Bob Mueller’s fake witch hunt will be over, and I will be doing whatever I want.  Then America will be really great, really, really great.  That I can tell you…and I will be even greater.”

The Prezident then wandered off across the lawn before being carried back the official residence and transferred into his robe in time to re-watch Fux and Friends before falling asleep on the toilet.

I. Mangrey recoiling.  It's a living. Not really. But I do it anyway.

Best Contraceptive Ever

Viagra Stocks Sagging

June 1, 2018

Chrump is having so many wonderful effects on America right now.  So much winning. So much tweeting.  So much painful rectal itching.  The man in the orange paint is inspiring all manner of interesting behaviors across America.  We have a massive spike in overt racist behavior.  More and more mass shootings.  America’s always tenuous relationship with the truth is now as tangible as Saddam Hussein’s WMD – which, though he did have a significant supply back in the 1990s, (sold to him by Donald Rumsfeld before he became George W. Bush’s offensive Secretary of Defense) were non-existent when Dick Cheney lied us into his illegal war on the basis of their existence.  Chrump’s prezidency, though somewhat less overtly bloody, is making Game of Thrones look like Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood.

Millions of Americans remain enraptured as they drift directionless in the sea of stupid that is submerging the swamp Chrump swore he would drain.  More and more Americans are working hard at being idiots by believing the perpetually lying sack of shit that is Donald J. Chrump.  According to a Huffington Post poll, 48 percent of Republican’ts said they believe that between three and five million people voted illegally in 2016, just like Der Furor told them; 17 percent said they do not and 35 percent.  Almost 25 percent of Democrats also believe Chrump’s absurd lie.

Sperm Shirk, Eggs Elude

Americans are doing more and more of less and less.  Those who ignore the news have a chance at the bliss of ignorance.  Those who are paying close attention spend most waking hours is shock and horror, then pray for dreamless sleep.  There is one particular activity that Americans are doing considerably less of under Chrump’s undyed eye. 

The birthrate for 2017 was at its lowest point in 30 years.  Many of you may be familiar with the term Baby Boom.  For those who are not, this refers to the huge spike in birth-giving between the end of World War II and the assassination of JFK (I’m looking at you Richard Nixon).  Certainly, the end of WWII was a time of intense joy and stress reduction across the globe, and this world wide sigh of relief led to a veritable free-for-all of sexy time, which resulted in a tsunami of what are commonly referred to as “babies.”  Now, those Baby Boomers make up some 20 percent of America’s population. 

Babies can sense imminent threats to their survival.
Many are now refusing to be conceived.

Baby Doomers

On the flip side, we have the “election,” inauguration, and subsequent descent into life under the tiny thumb of one Donald J. Chrump.  By now, you have surely deduced the connection between the onset of Chrumptopia and the preponderance of flaccid phalluses, clenched knees and incapacitating headaches plaguing the majority of Americans, and the resulting kibosh on kid-making. 

It is possible that Chrump has simply sickened people to the point that they cannot stand the sight of each other, or maybe the thought of Chrump having sex with porn stars and Playmates, sexually assaulting dozens of women, talking about dating his daughter, and just generally being Chrump has turned people off to sex for the foreseeable future. 

Chrump mistakes Rudy G for Ivanka back when he was seriously
considering dating at least one of them. (The video is much worse.)

 

The combination of no one ever being in the mood, and the sad though completely conscionable decision to spare a future generation, let’s call them Generation F**ked, from having to enter a world either still dealing directly with, or struggling to recover from, the devastation of World War Chrump, should keep the future Chrump-driven suffering to a relative minimum.  For once, misery is trying to avoid company.

I. Mangrey not reproducing.  Making the world safe for reality.