April Metamorphosis

Dead Man Writing

April 1, 2019...or is it?

Just stumbled across this posthumous rewrite of Franz Kafka’s classic, tale The Metamorphosis more than 100 years after the publication of the original.  Kafka was generally dark and disturbing, but could not hold a candle to the depressing and ominous reality brought to you by Donald Chrump.  Thought you might enjoy the opening paragraphs of Kafka’s latest gem...

One morning, as Donald Chrump was waking up from anxious dreams and Twitter-based nightmares, he discovered that in bed he had been changed into a monstrous verminous bug. A casual observer would instantly recognize the improvement. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bow-like sections. Again, a considerable improvement from the doughy, gelatin-like mass that usually emerged from that part of his body. From this height the blanket, just about ready to slide off completely, could hardly stay in place. His numerous legs, which now outnumbered the “hairs” on his head, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of his circumference, flickered helplessly before his eyes.

With apologies to cockroaches everywhere

 




‘What’s happened to me,’ he thought. It was no dream. His disgusting room, an improper room for a borderline human being, who in no way deserved the office he held, and drastically less gold-encrusted than his previous abode, which as he was wont to tell people every chance he got, was not nearly the “dump” he claimed it to be, despite the stench of stale hair spray, toxic tanning dye and the smell of the man himself – a smell it would later take a regiment of HAZMAT enrobed experts to eradicate. Above the table, on which an collection of half-eaten and still untouched fast food items was spread out (Chrump was a voracious pig, with no sense of taste or class) hung the picture set in a pretty gilt frame. It was a picture of a group of very young women fleeing and desperately trying to cover themselves, clearly distraught that someone or something was invading their privacy. He still cherished that picture, that moment, those young bodies who so reminded him of his precious daughter, of whom he dreamt most nights and almost as many days. What frightened him most at this moment, gazing once again at the body he no longer recognized? If he continued to look like this, would his daughter ever submit to his wishes? Would other women ever let him get away with grabbing them, as he had done so many times when he looked somewhat more human?

While one cannot help but be drawn to Kafka’s new rewrite and possibly relish the thought of it coming true, it seems to me that it is not so much Chrump, but America that has awakened to a drastic, terrifying, seemingly fatal transformation, a metamorphosis from a flawed, mighty nation, to a giant cockroach that horrifies and threatens not just itself, but its friends and neighbors, especially all those Mexican countries (according to Fux News) Chrump wants to shut down. 

I. Mangrey reporting in the nude.  Also, your shoe’s untied.

Cruella DeVos

Cruella de Vile

March 31, 2019

Drastically more evil version of Disney’s Cruella de Vil, Education Secretary Ditsy DeVos, who never went to public school and has more wealth than everyone you have ever known or will know put together and whose family has given some $200 million to Republican’ts, announced a complete withdrawal of federal funds for Special Olympics – the same amount of money we pay for five of the approaching infinite number of golf outings for the biggest cheater in the history of golf…and quite a few other activities.

Cruella DeVos

DeVos has made it clear thus far in her tenure as the least qualified person on the planet – with the possible exception of Ted Nugent – that she thinks public education should be eradicated, and once testified that rather than consider some sane policy to cut down on school children being cut down by firearms, teachers should be armed.  Her delusional rationale was, “I think probably there, I would imagine that there’s probably a gun in the school to protect from potential grizzlies.”  The latest insight from the intellectually blind, deaf and incredibly dumb DeVos was claiming that “students may be better served by being in larger classes.”   DeVos also does not believe in research, thinking, or poor people. 

And her boss proudly boasts that he “loves the poorly educated,” who love him right back.

Murderous Donald

On September 11, 1916, Mary the elephant had finally had enough of her circus captivity and humiliation.  Mary, being your usual intelligent elephant, turned on her trainer, and put him out of her (and his) misery.  Two days later, without even a hint of a fair trial by a jury of her peers, Mary was transported to the town of Erwin, Tennessee where the very fine people of Erwin carried out Mary’s death sentence.  Apparently, there were no self-defense or stand-your-ground laws back then.  Mary never threaten entire nations, kidnapped children or grabbed anyone by the pussy.  All she did was stand up for her right as one of God’s creatures, to lead a dignified life.

Mary’s final minutes

 

Meanwhile her (crime) boss Don Chrump, who took the “em” out of empathetic, talked about the effectiveness of threatening immigrants and refugees with machine guns.  Chrump yelled at reporters, “But we don’t do like other countries. Other countries stand there with machine guns ready to fire.  We can’t do that and I wouldn’t want to do that, OK?” he lied, before noting “it’s a very effective way of doing it, but I wouldn’t want to do it, we can’t do it.”  Machine guns?  Kidnapping children, putting them in cages and stoking fear on both sides of the border not good enough?  I guess we should be grateful Chrump is not already positioning nukes at our southern border.

Not satisfied that he was being brutal, tyrannical and amoral enough, the Orange One later said he might be closing the border next week.  In response to questions following Der Furor’s latest deranged tweet-storm attacking and threatening Mexico over lies about trade and immigration, the qresident said, “If they don't stop them [immigrants], we are closing the border.  We will close it and keep it closed for a long time.  I'm not playing games.”  Really?  Since when?

Chrump once again demonstrates his utter lack of understanding of borders, international trade, foreign relations, human behavior, emotions or realities or American law.  Not to worry, soon Chrump will pivot and begin acting like a normal person. 

Admittedly, there is not any concrete evidence of Donald Chrump personally murdering anyone.  That does not mean he has not done so.  He has however, lead a life of crime, punishment, loathing and fearmongering.  And racism.  And sexual assault.  They hang elephants, don’t they?

I. Mangrey.  Period.

Foibles

The Boy Who Cried NO COLLUSION

March 29, 2019 

The Mewler Report

Practically everyone, for one reason or another, is making a big deal about Chrump claiming that the Mueller report resulted in “a complete and total exoneration,” and once again yelling at the world – NO COLLUSION.  This familiar barrage began again after Chrump’s specially selected Attorney General Bill Barr, who wrote 19 pages stating that Mueller’s investigation was illegal, wrote his “summary,” which included the phrase “while this report does not conclude that the President has committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”  Ever undaunted by the facts, Donald Chrump immediately and very strongly – however pathetic, disingenuous and psychotic – repeated his oft-repeated chorus, “No Collusion!  No Collusion!”

I do not understand all the excitement.  At every turn, for any reason, for no reason, on an almost daily basis, Chrump has whined, screamed, moaned and tweeted in all caps – NO COLLUSION.

He shouted from the fairway, he shouted from the green,
“No collusion!  No collusion!  Not that I’ve seen.”

The Boy Who Cried NO COLLUSION

There was once an old Man Boy who accidentally became president of the most powerful nation on Earth.  He was a rather lonely, pathetic little man, lying every moment about his obvious collusion with enemies to “win” his election, so he thought upon a plan by which he could trick people to believe his lies.  He screamed and tweeted at all hours of every day and every night to the village tapping and calling out “NO COLLUSION, NO COLLUSION,” and many of the villagers were stupid enough to believe him, though many of them knew he was totally full of shit.  The boy was always pleased with himself, and ignored the smarter people and continued the same trick, day after day, month after month and now year after year.  Then, one day, his loyal assistant claimed there was in fact no collusion, but there might have been collusion, and the boy of course cried out “NO COLLUSION, NO COLLUSION,” still louder and oftener than before.  By this time more and more of the villagers, who had grown more and more tired of this bellowing buffoon and his laundry list of lies, realized the boy was again deceiving them, and nobody stirred to come to his help.  So, the Congress of the village decided to keep investigating until all the facts were exposed for all the village to see, a wise man of the village said”

“A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth.”
 

Finally, the boy’s very strict step-mother sent the boy to his room without Twitter.

And no one ever heard or saw the boy again.
Everyone but the boy lived happily ever after.

The Party That Cried Healthcare

It has been eight years since Obmacare became law.  Since that moment, Republican’ts have tried almost 100 times to kill it.  During that time, Obama’s Affordable Care Act has only become more popular with the public.  Unperturbed by public opinion and desperate to appease their corporate masters, McConnell, Ryan (since expunged) and the party of Nixon relentlessly and cluelessly strove to eradicate health care in America.  At some point the Republican’t mantra became “repeal and replace.”  At no point however, did they ever bother to even pretend to have a plan to replace anything.  Right now, Hair Chrump is screaming about the expensive premiums, crippling deductibles, and the fact that Obama did it. 

As always, Republican’ts, now cemented to President Albatross, are trying to con the American public that Democratic policies are to blame for corporate thievery.  Chrump says that Republican’ts will be the “part of healthcare.”  Many Americans know that insurance companies are the ones killing people with unaffordable premiums and deductibles – not Obama, or his care.  These people crushed Republican’ts at the polls in 2018, and are chomping at the bit to do it again in 2020.

I. Mangrey repurposing.

Thought For The Day

 

Fascism on The March

March 26, 2019

Bitch McConnell strikes yet another blow for fascism.  In 2016, McConnell reportedly threatened Barack Obama against letting the American public know that Donald Chrump was credibly under investigation (as he remains to this day) for aiding and abetting Russia’s attempts to interfere with the 2016 election – in Chrump’s favor.

The mentally and morally crippled Senate Majority Leader blocked a resolution calling for special counsel Robert Mueller's report to be released publicly.  The House has already passed such a resolution by a 420-0 margin.  It takes zero imagination to figure out why McConnell wants to keep secret the full report, rather than the predetermined bumper-sticker “version” offered up by Chrump’s newly-installed henchman who was hand-picked for this specific purpose.

Chrump’s personal lawyer Jay Sekulow yesterday said that he “would fight very aggressively” against letting Americans know Chrump's written answers to Mueller's questions.  God bless America.  Well, what’s left of it.

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Mueller Madness Barr None

An Inconclusive “Conclusion”

March 25, 2019

Full disclosure, I am not a lawyer.  Unlike all the Republican’t lawmakers and pundits who have consistently blown off climate science with statements like, “I’m not a scientist, but it’s obvious that global warming isn’t real because it’s cold outside,” I am not saying that I know exactly what I am talking about.  I am just freaking out loud.

That being said, now that Robert Mueller has handed his report to William Barr, his new Chrump-chosen boss – a boss that has publicly stated that Mueller has no business investigating Chrump, though Barr insists he is friends with Mueller and respects him. 

Barr previously served as Attorney General for George Bush, The First.  During that time Barr advised Bush to pardon all the convicted criminals from the Reagan administration in order to protect Bush the elder, who was surely complicit – at least – in the Iran-Contra criminal enterprise.  The pardons were controversial and Barr was the architect as well as Bush’s cover.  Just another day at the over-reaching-executive-power office that is always tolerated whenever Republican’ts control that branch.

As I said, I am not an attorney, but it seems odd to me, from what is already in the public record, that Mueller did not cause Don, Jr., Ivanka, Jared K and the Russian-in-chief to testify under oath.  But what do I know?

Donald Chrump is up to his fake “hair” line in Russian money/debt and perhaps blackmail.  Don, Jr., said in 2008, “In terms of high-end product influx into the US, Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets,” and said, “I love it,” when offered dirt on Hillary Clinton by Russians.  Eric Chrump in 2014 told a golf reporter, “We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia.” 

Jared and Ivanka are also up their beady little eyeballs in Russian, Saudi and other non-American money that could easily be used as leverage against American interests.  It was recently discovered that Mr. Ivanka was using illegal means of communication in his “official” capacity as Chrump’s one-man shadow cabinet.

Chrump himself has been obsessed with Russia and Russian money for over 30 years, ever since American banks – not exactly known for having conscience, integrity or good sense – decided to stop loaning money the deadbeat, self-described “king of debt” Donald Chrump.  We know Chrump was desperately seeking to build Chrump Tower Moscow across from the Kremlin, which he of course denies, despite overwhelming proof.  We know that countless members of Chrump’s inner circle have extensive Russian connections.  And lied about them repeatedly.  This could all be very innocent coincidence.  And the Earth could really be only 6,000 years old.  And flat as a pancake.

I will remain hopeful that other jurisdictions are poised to follow up on recommendations springing from Mueller’s work, and that the entire Chrump Crime Family will at the very least be made to publicly answer questions about how they conspired with Russia (and others?) to steal America, cover up their high crimes and then obstruct justice to keep their secrets and their money.  I will not be holding my breath. 

The fight between Uncle Sam and Uncle Scum is still in the early rounds;
those hoping for an early knock-out should not count the champ out yet

I would be lying if I said I was not extremely disappointed at the moment.  I thought Mueller would give me something to hang my president hat on.  Why was there so much lying by Chrump and his closest underlings about interactions with Russians connected to Putin?  So much lying that Chrump’s lawyers would not let him testify, knowing he could not do so without adding to the lying, even under oath.  Why did Mueller not give Chrump the opportunity to lie under oath? 

It remains difficult to imagine that there was no serious hanky, if not panky during the 2016 election.  I probably need to watch more Fux News to get the real truth.

Barr gave his version of Mueller’s findings, describing no prosecutable crimes and including the phrase, “…while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”

Eventual Watergate hero John Dean



I. Mangrey resetting.  And resisting.

First Amendment 2.Oh My

Be Lest

March 24, 2019

Because clearly, many people in high places need to read this:

First Amendment of the Constitution of The United States

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

With skin thinner than a baby onion, the very, very fragile uh-Donald Chrump and his sniveling lap-weasel Rep. Devin Nunes are waxing apoplectic about satirists satirizing them.  Nunes is suing Twitter and three of its users for defamation and negligence.  Because they mocked him. 

Melania updates her message so as not to humiliate Donald

Insisting on maximizing irony, Chrump signed an executive order on Thursday requiring some unspecified form of “free speech” (actually to protect the very fine people in right wing extremist groups) on college campuses under threat of losing research funding by some unspecified arbiter (probably Chrump, who has nothing better to do).  This might be better than George W. Bush’s “free speech zones.”  Just kidding. 

Only days earlier, Chrump accused Saturday Night Live of colluding with the Russians and wants the Justice Department to investigate everyone who dares make fun of him.  Except for him.    

First of all you pitiful little man, why the fuck are you watching reruns of SNL?  Shouldn’t you be watching Fux News?  Or yelling at paintings?  Who do you think they should be knocking?  Hillary Clinton?  John McCain?  Oh wait, that’s your schtick.  But wait, there’s more – and it only took him 15 minutes to finish his “thought.”

Besides being certifiably insane and completely dishonest…oh forget it…

Fun Fact

In March of 2010 Nunes, who illegally shared information from the Mueller investigation with Der Furor and is suing Twitter for $250M for, was asked to comment on Tea Party protesters hurling the N-word at civil rights icon/Rep. John Lewis.  Nunes replied, “Yeah, well, I think that when you use totalitarian tactics, people begin to act crazy.  I think there’s people that have every right to say what they want.  If they wanna smear someone, they can do it.”  Someone should remind Rep. Numbskull that what’s sauce for the feces fondling fuckwit is sauce for the gander.  Or something like that.  While they are at it, they should deliver unto him a copy of the Constitution.

And with that, the #LookAtMeToo movement is off to the races.

I. Mangrey regretting.



This is Still Happening, Isn't It

HFS*

March 22, 2019

It is possible I have mentioned this before, but I fear it bears repeating.  Donald Chrump is a catastrophucking disaster on two legs.  His very, very large uh-brain is clearly disintegrating right in front of our eyes.  However very, very large it might be, it was never all that functional to begin with.  His always-tenuous grip on reality – never really a grip, so much as a hanging-by-the-fingernails kind of thing – has now struck Vaseline.  Add the Mueller probe and all the other investigations to the long-festering syphilis, and you have very, very serious uh-brain damage people.

This sorry excuse for a salamander is too busy standing up for racist Fux News hosts, whining about SNL reruns and the possible fact that all of his fake Twitter followers are being removed from his list.  He remains obsessed with John McCain, who dared oppose Chrump’s foolish fascism.  Chrump still wants Hillary Clinton locked up.  His newest obsession is Kellyanne Conjob’s husband, who has been a frequent, brutal and accurate critic of the Orange Gas Cloud.  Mr. Kellyanne Conway – as Chrump likes to call him – has made comments like, “Your stupidity knows no bounds” and “The administration is like a shitshow in a dumpster fire.”

And, more recently…

 

Conway then added…

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders’
definitions of two conditions — narcissistic personality disorder
and antisocial personality disorder.




This was the last straw for Chrump.  Finally, unable to keep his thumbs shut, dug down into the rotting recesses of his crippled cranium and pulled out his wittiest repartee, his best words if you will, to shut Conway up for good.

Parscale's tweet was all lies, Chrump was obviously looking in the mirror

 

Oddly, it did not have the desired effect, so Chrump had to double dumb down:

Oddly, that did not end it…

Jimmy Kimmel spells it out

He wants the Justice Department to go after satirists because they are mean to him and no one else. In what remains of Chrump’s fevered uh-brain, nobody ever made fun of any politicians until Chrump came along.  One can’t help but feel sorry for poor baby Donald…I’m sorry, I should have said one can help but feel sorry for poor baby Donald. 

No Parking

Chrump needs to be in a nice soft room, or put out to pasture, or sent to a farm upstate somewhere.  Like perhaps the lovely, deteriorated, Donald J. Trump State Park in Mahopac, New York. 

This is a real sign, but the park is as fake as the man whose name it bears

I shit you not, this is a real thing.  In fact, I drove past it myself five years ago, long before the fear of a Chrump candidacy, let alone presidency, had wrapped its tiny orange hands around my soul, and well before the degree of loathing at the sight or sound of Chrump that I have since found it unavoidable to develop.  At least he was thwarted from building one of his shithole golf courses on the land. 

Chrump’s “park” – a metaphor for Chrump’s America

Like Chrump himself, the park is nothing more than a derelict, a façade, with no redeeming social value – since it is closed.  Unlike Chrump, the land remains mostly in its natural state, doing the Lord’s work by simply being.  Chrump of course, is working to put a stop to all that.

I. Mangrey reporting. 

*Holy. Fucking. Shit.  Trying to keep it clean.

Thought For The Day

MANIAC ACCOMPLISHED

March 21, 2019

The Less Bad Old Days

According to George Conway, “He lies even when it makes no sense to lie.  As one of his lawyers once told me, Trump couldn’t be allowed to talk to Mueller because ‘he’d lie his ass off.’”

Donald Chrump lies for two main reasons. 1) He is a mentally deranged, sociopath with neither discernment of or interest in what might be true, and 2) Telling the truth about anything would unquestionably and immediately land him in jail.
Remember when were completely outraged that George W. Bush and seven of his administration’s top officials made at least 935 false statements in the two years following September 11, 2001? 

Chrump does that in a few days. 

And, there is only one of him. 

And he is only "functional" for four to five hours a day.

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Not One Bear Voted For Chrump

Are You Smarter Than the Average Bear?

March 18, 2019

As Republican’ts, now under the (probably lift-augmented) boot of their malignant mob boss Donald Chrump, continue their greed-driven assault on the environment, others persist in their fight to hold back the forces of filth.  While many Democrats attempt to bring America a Green New Deal, Republican’ts continue their relentless pursuit of total environmental destruction.

In 2017 Chrump and former Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke – who left office under an ominous cumulonimbus cloud of 18 investigations – perpetrated the largest public lands protection rollback in modern American history. They ignored sovereign tribes’ claims of sacred lands, public opinion, and jeopardized the health and lives of local communities.

Rep. Rob Bishop (R-UT) told reporters that for those who live in the west, the ideas in the Green New Deal “are tantamount to genocide.” Bishop added, “That may be an overstatement, but not by a whole lot.”  Bishop, second only to Mike Pence as the whitest person in America explained his credibility saying, “I’m an ethnic.”

Rob Bishop – so ethnic you have to wear sunglasses to view him 

If Only it Was the Other Kind of Club

The cover story of the latest Sierra Club magazine, “Animals are Smarter Than You Think,” provided yet more evidence rebutting the idea that only humans have what we call intelligence.  Sure, we are the only ones capable of creating massive pollution and other forms of environmental destruction sufficient to eradicate our very presence on this otherwise finely tuned, beautiful planet, but other species have their own gifts and skills.

According to the article, “This research highlights an intriguing possibility: Could it be that much of North America is populated by hundreds of thousands of exceptionally intelligent nonhuman beings?”  This would be very fortunate as the number of even basically intelligent human beings appears to be dwindling.

Magazines often release multiple versions of covers for special issues.  Sierra Club (or someone) made two versions of their latest issue.

 

The original cover, aimed at the environmentally friendly population

Special edition cover aimed at Chrump supporters

In August 2018, following Sweden’s hottest summer ever, that country’s 15 year-old Greta Thunberg protested at the parliament to get politicians to act on climate crisis.  Thunberg’s solo protest was the catalyst for the Youth Climate Strike movement.  Following Thunberg’s lead, the movement comprises young people skipping school in favor of putting their bodies where their mouths are.  Brings to mind another great fighter for social change:

“There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part. You can't even passively take part! And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it — that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!”

Mario Savio -  University of California, Berkeley Dec 2, 1964

Thunberg’s solo protest saw her sitting quietly on the cobblestones outside parliament in central Stockholm every day for two weeks instead of going to school.  The Swedish teen said school was a waste of time, “What am I going to learn in school? Facts don’t matter anymore, politicians aren’t listening to the scientists, so why should I learn?” 

Outside the parliament building Thunberg handed out leaflets saying, “I am doing this because you adults are shitting on my future.”  She stated, “I am doing this because nobody else is doing anything. It is my moral responsibility to do what I can.  I want the politicians to prioritize the climate question, focus on the climate and treat it like a crisis.”

SCHOOL STRIKE THE CLIMATE: Greta Thunberg, starting good trouble

Greta Thunberg’s TED Talk Dec 12, 2018

Greta Thunberg has been nominated for the Nobel peace prize, on the eve of the Youth Climate Strike’s biggest single day of global action yet, which ultimately brought young people to some 1700 locations in more than 100 countries on March 15th.

 

I. Mangrey replacing.  The kids are alright.  Whew.