Say What?

What Say You? More Important, Why Say You?

June 27, 2017

When Chrump said he has the best words, I did not realize that this means he thinks he owns them. He gave Obama grief for using the word “mean.” Chrump called the so-called health care bill he loved ‘mean.’ Obama described the disastrous bill as being built on “fundamental meanness.” Chrump was livid (his default setting, but still…), telling Fux and Friends, “He actually used my term, mean. That was my term. Because I want to see, and I speak from the heart, that’s what I want to see. I want to see a bill with heart.” When will we finally see this man in a nice soft room with a comfy chair and some soft cushions and no access to social media or any communication devices of any kind?

Finally, a jacket that is the right length

 

There is really only one word to describe this wretched little man. It is a word that I have just invented; it is actually an acronym, for sorry-assed-douchebag - SAD.

The Filth Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree

Meanwhile, back at the branch, the more intellectually challenged of Chrump’s endangered-species-murdering sons, Eric had some choice words to say about the Democrats. Safe in the loving embrace of fellow bonehead Sean Hannity he whined, “To me, they’re not even people. “It’s so, so sad. Morality’s just gone, morals have flown out the window and we deserve so much better than this as a country.” Yes, morality in America is gone and only the insanely moral Chrump family can fix it. If I did not know better, and I do not, I would think there has been some very unhealthy inbreeding in our first family. The arrogant little twit said of the Democrats, “They try and obstruct a great man; they try and obstruct his family.” The little turd is going to have a great deal of trouble fixing the country he says deserves so much better. There are already a good many more Americans who favor impeaching Big Don than there are supporters of his disastrous regime. Maybe the Chrumps would be better off in Russia. Soon, they may have no choice. Now that would make America great again.

Little Ivanka told her friends at Pravda…I mean Fux News, “I try to stay out of politics.” Probably not the best strategy for someone with an office in the West Wing – even if she got there by nothing other than who her father (who would rather be dating her) is. Are these people really as stupid as they think we are?

One thing is for sure, no one in Chrump’s inner circle can disappear to “spend more time with their family.” The whole damn family has infested the highest level of our government. And we really do not know who is doing what since they are all skulking around the West Wing as they please.

Coming soon

I. Mangrey reporting.

Deforming Health Care

Obamacare. Chrump Don’t.

The United States of McConnell
June 24, 2017

Get Ben’t

First a few words about mental health, or the staggering lack thereof. I know that this sun-drenched fish of an administration is rotting from the head down, but there are some heavy hitters vying for Bull Goose Looney. For example, Ben Carson. The ex-surgeon, famous for separating conjoined twins but clearly not fact from fiction must have watched the movie Trading Places one too many times. On a bet, the born-rich Dan Ackroyd is caused to switch places with pan-handler Eddie Murphy just to see how they both fare and hilarity ensues. Though not without a dose of social commentary. In a recent interview, Ben the brain-dead brain surgeon, known as much for attaching foot to mouth as separating conjoined twins, said, “I think poverty to a large extent is also a state of mind. You take somebody that has the right mindset, you can take everything from them and put them on the street, and I guarantee in a little while they’ll be right back up there.” And you take somebody with the wrong mindset, you can give them everything in the world, they’ll work their way back down to the bottom.” I say Mental Ben should remove his foot and put his money where his mouth is. Let’s drop Ben, armed only with a dollar bill and the over-priced suit on his back, on any Indian Reservation or poverty stricken urban neighborhood and see how long he lasts.

Republican’ts are plying their usual shtick. Their latest attempt to do as much damage as possible to women, the poor, minorities and the infirm, while handing the keys to the kingdom – and I do mean kingdom – to the wealthiest among us, is their so-called health care reform. Their plan is to take health (and wealth) away from those at the lower end (if 98% can be considered an end) of the economic scale, and pass it on to those at the other end. And you will never guess in which direction the goodies are flowing. You will never guess because you already know and have known for many a year. It is not that the wealthy shall inherit the Earth; it is being handed over to them in return for campaign funds. I seem to recall someone saying that the meek shall inherit the Earth. How can the meek inherit the Earth if the Republican’ts, so many of whom claim to be men of God, keep trying to kill them off? Jesus would be very proud.

You might remember that during the long, drawn-out, very public debate leading up to the passage of Obamacare, the Republican’ts led by mental defective Sarah Palin, were squealing about so-called Death Panels. They were concerned that elderly people would have access to counseling on end-of-life issues. The new “improved” Republican’t neither-repeal-nor-replace plan is the real death panel, and not just for the elderly. By most accounts, tens of millions will not be able to afford medical insurance. And tens of thousands of people will die precisely because of this draconian legislation. Republican’ts want to get rid of the entire segment of the population that is not white, wealthy and male. What is wrong with these people? Although, to be fair, this was the very segment of the population that our founding fathers favored.

Son of a Mitch

Dozens of peaceful protesters – many with physical handicaps – were arrested outside professional hypocrite, and Satan's little helper Mitch McConnell’s office, on the heels of the heel’s super-secret-super-shitty and Orwellian-named American Health Care Act. A number of those arrested were in wheel chairs, some of whom were bodily carried away and injured by Capitol Police. These protesters were only trying to stop the more aptly named Chrump/Ryan/McConnell Anti-Health-Care from destroying their lives by yanking the Medicaid (which Chrump repeatedly promised not to touch) rug out from under them. The AHCA will stomp the crap out of a huge swath of Chrump’s most ardent supporters, who will assuredly blame Obama once their world comes crashing down. Chrump originally said that the bill was “something that is very, very, incredibly well-crafted", later calling it “mean, mean, mean” and “a sonofabitch.” A very, terrifically decisive leader. This is one of the most hateful, despicable pieces of shit legislation to come down the pike since Dred Scott.

I. Mangrey reporting. My brain hurts.
                                                                                           

Witless Tampering

That Was the Reak That Was

The Not-so-Merry-Go-Round
June 23, 2017

As you may recall, Donald Chrump has “a very good brain.” He told us that. And he never lies, except when he is talking – even when he is talking to himself, which he does constantly – or tweeting – which is always to himself, but ends up going public. Because Chrump is a man of the people he has chosen not to rub his very good brain in our faces. Instead, he communicates like a young child with a language problem and minimal intellect. He is such a dear leader. Chrump does however, show off some of his communication skills on Twitter. Some of you might remember this tweet from Der Furor once James Comey had been fired and started talking about what transpired between him and his then-boss:

Chrump attempts to intimidate Comey,
instead insinuates own idiocy

 

Comey called Chrump’s buffoonish bluff under oath as he related his version of his meetings and phone calls from his Obstructer-in-chief. Since Comey knew that he was telling the truth, he told his senate inquisitors, “Lordy, I hope there are tapes.”

The Orange Gas Cloud has finally admitted, via Twitter that, “I did not make, and do not have, any such tapes.” After all the hoopla and the teasers and cliffhangers and anything-but-clever insinuations, this miserable excuse for a mammal tweets this pathetic bullshit. There is a catch however. There has been not one single example of Chrump either making words with his face sphincter or his thumbs wherein he provided truthful information. So we can only assume that there are in fact tapes of his conversations with Comey and that they validate everything Comey said under oath. Chrump said he would “One hundred percent” testify under oath about his taped/not taped conversations with Comey. He will not. Case closed. Now go and resign Chrumpy.

The lawyering-up continues apace within Chrump’s Worst Wing as things refuse to get any better for the Criminal-in-chief. We may all need lawyers in the near future, for having aided and abetted a sociopathic narcissist who is using the presidency (or predisency if you prefer) of the United States to boost his brand while making America cringe again.

Talk Is Cheap, In Fact It Is Worthless

Kellyanne Conjob, who always looks like she is in the process of having a stroke, is jerking overtime to saturate the airwaves with alternative facts and covfefe. She thinks she is Obi Wan Kenobi trying to cloud America’s collective consciousness; “This is not the president you are angry at.” Kellyanne, your Jerk-i mind trick is not working. And Sean Spicer’s reply to every question is, “I haven’t spoken to the president about that, I’ll have to get back to you.” He won’t.

Finally, a product worthy of the Chrump name (more so after it is used than before)…
and it comes from Mexico.

I. Mangrey reporting.
The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a vote is a good guy with a vote.

Lawyer, Rinse, Repeat

The Waste (formerly White) House

June 22, 2017

You know you have really made it as president (or “predisent” as Chrump’s lawyer spelled it) when you have to hire a team of lawyers to keep your presidential ass out of jail. You know it’s getting even better when everybody who works in your administration also has to hire their own lawyers. It is a veritable swarm of legal locusts descending on the Chrump Waste House. Layers and layers of lawyers. Chrump has lawyers, Jared has lawyers, Pence has a lawyer, Flynn, Manafort and others have lawyers, Jeff Sessions, the illegal Attorney General who perjured himself during his confirmation hearing has a lawyer. No one yet knows how many other Chrumpsters are or will be lawyering up in the near future. One of Chrump’s lawyers may have broken the law by telling all the poor suckers who signed on to work in the Chrump Waste House that they did not need lawyers – they do, as does he. But the feces-flavored icing on the Chrump poop-cake has to be that Donald Chrump’s lawyers have now hired lawyers. That has to be a very, very good sign. Believe me. Right now, thousands of lawyers are celebrating in the streets. How long before the lawyers’ lawyers need their own lawyers?

How galling it must be for such a big winner to see his whole giant con going up in a puff of Crayola-orange smoke. Though he tells himself and anyone who must listen what a tremendous job he is doing (and Chrump is, as always, very impressed with himself), he is surrounded by more lawyers than fawning fans. He hates his new “job”. He wants more than almost anything to walk away. His “friends” say Chrump hates living in Washington (which he does several days a week according to some sources). I imagine the feeling is mutual. It also appears that the demanding nature of the job he never actually wanted is taking its toll on his terrifically incredible stamina. This is quite surprising since the Orange Gas Cloud has handed over every duty of substance to Jared or somebody else. Mostly Jared. Chrump spends most of his non-tweeting hours golfing and screaming at the television. Since Chrump is neither interested in nor capable of actually being a president, one supposes that this is more a blessing than a curse. Unfortunately Chrump either appointed or nominated everyone around him so we are likely, in the vernacular…f*cked. According to one adviser, Chrump “doesn’t want to go down in history as a guy who tried and failed. He doesn’t want to be the second president in history to resign.” All I can say is take your pick Don – fail or resign…though you can have both. Or you could just fire Robert Mueller and let others do the rest. As usual.

All that being said, it should be noted that Chrump’s “hair” alone should have been sufficient evidence of his delusional over-inflated ego and proof that he should not only be disqualified from running for office, but from showing his fiber-topped face in public. But, it was not. Surely then, his Wrestlemania-like entrance into the 2016 race, highlighted by calling most Mexicans rapists and murderers should have caused most Americans to recoil in disgust. But, it did not. Then came a too-numerous-to-mention slow-motion barrage of unpardonable words and deeds culminating, some thought in his historic “grab ‘em by the pussy” expose, any of which, and surely the sum of which should have relegated the Orange Buffoon to history’s footnotes. But, they could not. So it is with an ocean of chagrin, yet a mountain of trepidation, born of watching this colossal conman sidestep one fatal landmine after another that I keep my fingers crossed to the point of stopping circulation and the risk of amputation that finally Chrump will be exposed for all to see and his darkening of our national door ended once and for all.

I. Mangrey reporting. Remember, if you don’t get pissed off, you will get pissed on.

The Mend is Near

 It’s His Party, You Can Cry if You Want To

      Is your brain bruised?

From the really terrific people who brought you Votegra for Electile Dysfunction…

It’s not a drug, it’s not Covfefe, it’s a way of life. Sure there’s a pill to get you in the mood, but why call it a drug? What? Are you obsessed with facts and reality? That is so pre-Chrump. SAD. If this is you, we have just what the doctor (before he was outlawed, except for the very rich) ordered.

     Are your emotions frazzled?

Would you like to simply check out for a few years and wake up fresh as a daisy in 2020 or 2024?

Would you like to do it safely without risking damage to your vital organs and precious bodily fluids? Does this even matter anymore?

                         Does your psyche suck?

Finally there is a way to protect your mind – if nothing else – from Twitterbell

What you need is
Rent-A-Coma

Doesn’t this sound appealing?

Doesn’t this look peaceful?

It isn’t suicide. It isn’t moving to Canada. It’s just a time-out. The massive hospital expenses will be partially offset by the great savings you’ll realize on food, travel, shelter, Christmas and birthday gifts and all the other things you waste money on every day, trying to distract yourself from the neo-fascist destruction of Amerika by the Russian agent known as Chrumputin. Plus, most if not none of it will be covered by whatever the fuck Republican’ts are pretending will replace Obamacare.

Don’t get stuck in alt-reality without a viable exit strategy.

Our state-of-the-art resting facilities are in full compliance with all current regulations. Our promise to you is that when these regulations, as all regulations, are rescinded as Chrump and the Republican’ts slash everything not aimed at helping the wealthiest Americans, we will maintain the highest standards required by law…when there was law.

CAUTION: The desire to remain comatose may be habit forming

Here’s what people are saying about Rent-A-Coma:

       BHO from Hawai’i: “                                   ”

       SJG from Pennsylvania: “                                                 !”

       Gen. JTR, Ret: “I left instructions not to bother me unless James Comey testified in public about his private meetings with Chrump. And I’m glad I did. Next I’m going to check out until impeachment hearings begin. I wouldn’t want to miss that."

       RFG from Maryland: “zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

When we introduced Rent-a-Coma last year we were not prepared for the pure idiocy and galactic mayhem about to unfold. We simply wanted to help people still tethered to reality to avoid the ravages, indignities and insidious fascism of the impending Chrump Regime. We had no idea how absolutely terrifying and disastrous Der Furor would be. No one could have anticipated how high the demand would be, and we sold out in minutes. Add to all of Chrump’s epoxy-“haired” lunacy Senate majority zombie Mitch McConnell’s super-secret assault on health care in America, and no matter how much Rent-A-Coma we produce, the demand will surely outpace the supply. So act now, or forever wake up screaming in the middle of the night, either living through the Chrump Era, or reliving the horrifying memories of same. There will be no Death Panel, only death. We guarantee that the new batch is even better. You won’t even know what hit you. And you won’t want to.

Ask your doctor or Magic 8 Ball if Rent-A-Coma is right for you, or just go get some. It’s all good. And no prescription is necessary, just a credit card.

Buy yours today or tomorrow, but don’t wait too long. If you are forced to endure the next four years without Rent-A-Coma
you are likely to be conscious and very, very sorry. At best. Act now – supplies are limited. Don’t be the last one left standing.

Call right now: 800-NOT-HERE
Operators are standing by…but not many because most of them have already taken advantage of their perks – free samples of Rent-A-Coma – and the rest of them are sure to follow.
I know I am.

Belated Beast Wishes

Happy Birthday Asshole

June 15, 2017

I have been practically paralyzed by the cyclone of chaos and insanity that has been the Chrump administration over the past week. Yes, I know these are just another few days in the burgeoning shitstorm that showed up on our radar on November 8, 2016, made cataclysmic landfall on January 20^th, and has been pummeling the East Coast, the West Coast, the Rust Belt, the Southwest, the Mid-West and all of America’s proverbial vital organs with unrelenting ignominy, brutality and mind-dissolving tweeting. Not to mention the devastating effects on America’s friends, enemies and frenemies alike, since the Man Who Obeys No Rules vomited himself onto the global stage.

Between the 1001 investigations into Chrump’s love affair with Putin and Russia, the non-testimony of the NSA and DNI, the Comey Show, the Sessions Session, the Mueller Mayhem and the continued Dali-esque “hair” stylings of Der Furor, your humble reporter is having great difficulty focusing on anything and everything.

As Dear Leader had made sure to tell everyone, yesterday was his birthday. I sent neither birthday wishes nor a gift. The most disgusting, incompetent and dangerous president in American history did get a great big surprise on his birthday though. Before Chrump’s favorite day of the year was over, the Washington Post reported that Special Counsel Robert Mueller is officially looking into obstruction of justice charges against the man who fired the man who was already investigating the very suspicious behavior of Chrump’s campaign vis-à-vis the Russian infiltration of our election and subsequent puppet government.

Many people are saying that the most potent evidence of malfeasance has come directly from Chrump himself. He repeatedly admitted to firing James Comey because of Comey’s persistent investigation of Chrump’s Russia connections. Chrump said that on national television after Chrump and his spokesmonkeys, including professional perjurer J. Beauregard Sessions, spent several days attempting to sell various other patently absurd reasons for Comey’s firing. Chrump also bragged to his Russian Oval Office guests the day after the firing that, “I just fired the head of the FBI. He was crazy, a real nut job. I faced great pressure because of Russia. That’s taken off. I am not under investigation.” Well, guess what – you are now, asshole. Chrump has also been tweeting an abundance of self-incriminating drivel that will surely become evidence for the prosecution. Maybe he should have looked other Amendments other than the Second. Upon learning of Mueller’s obstruction investigation, the Thumbs That Roared had this to say:

 

Maybe he is a witch. I say throw him into the pond – preferably the one that separates us from the UK – and let’s see whether or not he floats. Lawyer up, rinse, repeat.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Here Comes Comey

Russian Around Like a Turkey With Its Head Cut Off

Washing-up, DC
June 8, 2017

It appears that Boy Wonder, Jared Kushner is just as incompetent and clueless as his mentor/idol/father-in-law/boss Chrump. J-Bird thought it would be a good idea to set up secret back-channel-esque communications with the Kremlin. Chrump does not trust intelligence as a concept and hates the American intelligence community as an entity. Chrump only trusts what arises out of the rapidly liquefying tissue encased beneath his lying “hair”. Kushner and several other Chrump-related ne’er-do-wells felt it would be best to lie about what would otherwise be perfectly legal, albeit odd, meetings with Russian, let’s call them representatives.

Jared’s escapades could well become fodder at some point for the multitude of investigations surrounding The Orange Gas Cloud and his campaign’s and his own ties to Russia. This week however, the focus is on 6’8” elephant in the room – recently-fired-by-the-guy-he-helped-get-elected-and-then-was-investigating, former FBI Director, James Comey. Comey – who apparently does not know he is supposed to be tweeting his every hope and desire if he wants to be taken seriously – is poised to share the hand-written notes he felt compelled to keep after every encounter with the Disaster-in-chief. Comey’s Princess Chrump Diary has been the subject of much speculation, as those not in the thrall of Der Furor attempt to see beyond the alternative facts. Comey, who begged Jeff Sessions not to be left alone with Chrump, did not mention whether he also felt compelled to shower after spending alone time with his self-described lord and master. But, I digress.

We were on the subject of J-Dog. Jared’s benefactor, and head of the Chrump Crime Family – the Alternative Don himself – said, “Jared. Jared’s actually become much more famous than me. I’m a little bit upset about that.” The last person The Don said that about was a fellow by the name of James Comey. I wonder how that is working out. Many people are saying that Chrump then added, “Jared. I’m also a little bit jealous that he’s doing my daughter. That should have been my job.”

NEWS FLASH: CHRUMP LEAVES GOLF COURSE FOR BIG PAPER SIGNING

In a pathetic attempt to take America’s eyes off of Jim Comey’s giant balls as his public testimony draws near, Hair Chrump took a few minutes away from golfing and demanded the presence of a few of his closest swamp-weasels to help him look like a president for a few moments. As Chrump took pen in tiny little hand, he wore a very, very serious – terrifically serious some would say – face-pose and signed a document of absolutely no value or meaning whatsoever just before signaling for the applause sign to be turned on.

Festering swamp creatures gather to feign gawking as Chrump signs a
blank piece of paper to prove he still knows, and can sign his own name.

Rumor has it that the Idiot Bastard Pres’dent will be live-tweeting his “thoughts” during Comey’s testimony. This is one of the dumbest things a president ever considered doing. Worse that that is the fact that it will probably work very well for this one. His base will simply believe every single lie Der Furor tweets at them. I wonder how many of them are taking night classes in Russian as a Second Language.

They Can’t Handle the Chruth

One thing we do know is that Chrump will not have the best lawyers working his case. We know this because all the best lawyers declined to defend Chrump during his Russia investigation. Some claimed that they had important fishing trips planned long ago or were inexplicably entering the witness protection program and could not be available to do Chrump’s bidding. Most however, declined because of concerns that, “The guy won’t pay and he won’t listen.”

Thomas Jefferson once (maybe even twice) said, “The whole of government consists in the art of being honest.” What does that say about the current administration? I guess the United States is a country without a government.

I. Mangrey reporting.                                                                                        

                                                      

Par For The Curse

Chrump: Fat and Furious

Where am I?
June 6, 2017

In the event that you are too mentally healthy to keep up with Chrump’s very busy cover-up, here is a quick recap of what has emerged from the shadows thus far: The alt-president, after asking his vice president and attorney general to leave the room, begged the head of the FBI to go easy on Russian operative/National Security Advisor Mike Flynn, saying to Comey, “I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go. He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go.” Many people call this obstructing justice. Many people. Some of the best people. But wait, there’s more.

Attempting to cover-up all the bases, Chrump then asked the Director of National Intelligence and the Director of the NSA to pretend the evidence of Russian interference and possible collusion with the Chrump campaign did not exist. He asked both men to tell the public that everything was fine, deny any Russia problem and say the FBI were losers and liars. Like Comey, they refused to play along. Like Comey, they kept notes of treasonous conversations with punks, perverts and presidents. Unlike Comey, both men still have their jobs.

As if all this winning was not enough for Der Furor, he also attempted to block the Office of Government Ethics from disclosing federal ethics rules waivers that the Chrump administration granted to hires from corporations and lobbying firms. So there you have it – perhaps the least surprising undertaking by the Chrump administration – a war on intelligence and ethics. I cannot predict who will tire of all this winning first, us or Chrump.

Tired of the fake media following his every insane and/or illegal move and then blabbing it all over town, the alt-president turned his substantial fast-food-filled tail and headed overseas to try his tiny little hand at foreign relations. First stop, Saudi Arabia, to kiss some serious oil-soaked ass. Next stop, Israel, where he told his hosts, “We just got back from the Middle East.” Then he made sure to finish his disclosure of classified information* by assuring the world that Israel was in fact the source of the intel he gave to the Russians during the few moments he was not bragging to them in the Oval Office about his tremendous election victory.

*But Chrump was not finished leaking like a crepe paper diaper. In between leaking about Israel, making the Pope visibly nauseated, hurling insults at Germany and literally pushing NATO around, Chrump leaked the location of nuclear submarines to murderous Filipino strongman Duterte. Chrump is particularly fond of Duterte because Duterte actually did go out and shoot people and did not lose any voters.

Doing nothing to make anything great…ever.
I am getting so much done you can’t believe it. Believe me.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Climate? He Can't Even See It.

From Powerhouse to Pariah

The Rose Garden
June 2, 2017

Alt-president Chrump annoyed and frightened leaders across the world with his stance on climate change. Many of his colleagues pleaded with Hair Chrump to remain in the Paris Climate Accord. Ever the reality show ratings-craver, Chrump said he would think it over and give his answer “next week”.

As prelude to his highly anticipated declaration, Chrump took to Twitter as he always does when he has something frighteningly stupid to share with his minions. Perhaps he is unaware that the rest of us can also see his tweets.

Covfefe either was meant to be ‘coverage’, in which case he apparently lost consciousness and keeled over before finishing his pathetic sentence (though not before hitting send), or an anagram for Cowardly Old Vituperative Flatulent Entertainer Fears Enema…or something like that. Perhaps more disturbing that the tweet itself is the at least 127,484 retweets and 162,762 likes. America the Pitiful.

As he soiled the Rose Garden more than a thousand dogs with the runs, Chrump explained his inexplicable "decision". “The Paris Climate Accordion is a complete disaster. I have no idea what it is, but Bannon says we must get out. Even Ivanka – who we all love very, very much – and Jared and Exxon and many Fortune 500 companies, and most American citizens, think this is a ridiculous move, but I made my mind up a long time ago and then pretended to think it over so that I, Donald J. Chrump could create a very presidential cliff-hanger. Admit it, some of you actually thought there was a chance I wouldn’t do something totally pathetic regarding the Chinese hoax of climate change. Most people don’t even believe in climate. Everyone knows that no one loves the environment more than I do. Without the environment, there would be no golf courses. I don’t have to know what I’m talking about to make a huge decision. Believe me. Everyone knows that walking away from this terrifically terrible agreement that almost every other country has signed on to is nothing more than a symbolic gesture. It’s like giving practically everyone on the planet – except my most loyal, ignorant supporters – the finger. Everyone knows this. Everyone. As you know, I could stand in the middle of the galaxy and blow up the Earth and I wouldn’t lose a single voter. Believe me. Because I won the election bigly and I will do it again as many times as I want.”

Chrump, and by default – to quote Chrump – “the United States-and-America” joins only two nations — Syria, in a civil war, and Nicaragua, who thought the accord didn’t go far enough, in ignoring the historic agreement.

Chrump stammered, “I was elected to represent [long pause] the citizens of Pittsburg, not Paris.” The Mayor of Pittsburg would prefer that Der Furor represent someone else.

Former CIA acting-director Michael Morell called Chrump’s decision to abandon the Paris accord, “the worst decision he’s has made.” And that is a very high bar indeed.

I. Mangrey reporting. Covfefe for everyone.

UPDATE:

VP, and man who needs a chaperone to be alone in a room with a woman, Mike “Shit-for-brains” Pence shared his wisdom on the subject of climate with, “for some reason or another, this issue of climate change has emerged as a paramount issue for the left in this country and around the world.” Mike might be on to something here. Just because countless intelligence, security and military experts, along with 97 percent of climate scientists and practically everyone with at least a two-digit IQ thinks the global climate crisis is – I’ll use Pence’s word – paramount, is no reason for morons and assholes to give it a second thought. I’m sure they won’t.