Thought For The Day

May 31, 2018

Spotted this online poll last night:

For my money, they should have done it long before.  Thanks Ambien.

Burn Baby Burn

The Fiery Death at The End of The Tunnel

May 30, 2018

The British burned down Washington, DC during the War of 1812.  The Burning of Washington was and remained the only time since the American Revolutionary War that a foreign power had captured and occupied the United States capital.  That is, up until the Russians captured and occupied the White House in the person of Donald Chrump. 

Everything is under control in Chrump's Amerika.

 

Former Director of National Intelligence (2010-2017) James Clapper, who, to be fair, lied to Congress about illegal wiretapping of American citizens, during his tenure as DNI, believes that Russia “swung the election to a Trump win.”  Clapper, as DNI, was in a position to watch it happen in real time, and based on what he saw, claims to be certain that the Russians caused Chrump to be our Fake Prezident.  Turns out Clapper might not be the only one in a position to know what was going on.

Add to this former National Security Agency analyst John Schindler, who claims that American intelligence agencies have much more information connecting Chrump to the Kremlin than what they have told us.  Schindler says a senior NSA official told him that, by the time Chrump became the Republican’t nominee, “We knew we had a Russian agent on our hands.”  The NSA official stated that there were above-top-secret reports, which left no doubt that the Russians were subverting our democracy in 2016 – and that, “Trump and his kids knew what they were doing, and who they were doing it with.”

Der Furor, without telling anyone – not his advisors, not his cabinet, not our allies, not even Ivanka – cancelled his historic meeting with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un.  Sure, no one really believed this would ever happen, but it was fun to talk about at the water cooler.  John Bolton and Mike Pence both took turns sweet-talking Kim by threatening to vaporize him if he did not cooperate.  For some reason, Kim took offense at these insane threats, and lost his interest in meeting with his American counterpart.  Chrump first blamed China, and then cited Kim’s “tremendous anger and open hostility” for screwing everything up.  Naturally, Chrump had to look like he was breaking up with Kim, once he realized that Kim was breaking up with him.  As usual, two days later, when it became clear that Kim was acting less insane than Chrump by appearing to continue on the road to peace, Chrump reversed position again.  So it appears that the June 12^th summit is on.  Or not – there is still plenty of time – or not.

Lighting Up Some Hemp?

When he is not golfing or trying to start a nuclear war, Chrump is busy marinating the Constitution – if not the nation’s physical capital – in gasoline (despite skyrocketing prices thanks to his fuck-you-Obama decision to recklessly and unilaterally jettison the Iran nuclear deal, against the advice of just about everyone in the entire world), waiting for just the right moment to set it aflame.

Flaming asshole

 

I. Mangrey reporting. We are living in a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Thought For The Day

May 28, 2018
Shouldn’t we try to get a better handle on natural intelligence before we start diddling with artificial intelligence?

What's your thought of the day?

A Craven New World

Two Pigs In a Pod

May 26, 2018

It has been reported, or possibly fabricated, that an off-the-books, secret meeting between Donald Chrump and Vladimir Putin recently took place at an undisclosed location.*  The picture below is the only known evidence of this historic mano-a-Chrumpo.  According to reputable albeit non-existent sources, Chrump embraced and sniffed his benefactor, to the obvious chagrin of Mr. Putin.  It is impossible to tell from the scant photographic evidence if any grinding was involved, but one is free to make up the facts as one sees fit in our brave new world. 

Mmmmmm, you smell just like Ivanka. But you’re much shorter.

It remains uncertain whether Putin’s translator actually relayed the words Chrump reportedly uttered.  “Vlad, you are my hero, that I can tell you.  How did you become such a strong leader, very strong.  So much stronger than any American leaders, except for Donald Chrump.  No one is stronger than Chrump.  Everyone knows that.  You already know that no one has been tougher on Russia than Chrump.  I’m hoping to keep myself in office as long as you have.  You’ve done an excellent job staying president, or whatever you call yourself.  You have the best elections, though I have the highest approval ratings of anyone, ever.  The fake media won’t tell anyone this, but I’m the most popular president in American history.  Most successful, most popular, smartest and the richest.  I don’t know if you know this, but I’m really rich.  Believe me.  But, I really like the way you handle the fake media.  Very strongly.  Very impressive.  If I wasn’t so obsessed with my daughter Ivanka, perhaps I’d be dating you.  I’m kidding, of course…or am I?  We’ll have to wait and see what happens.  One thing for sure, no collusion.  No collusion.  Not that I know of.  That I can tell you.”

Is it really collusion when Chrump and Russia have been working together for decades?   Every time we turn around, we learn of another Russian connection with the fake Chrump business empire, the Chrump campaign and the Chrump administration.  

I am just paying attention to all of this with my wife and our au-pair and I’d like to say how shocked I am that a pleasant and deadly presidential administration should be turned into an excuse for Russian propaganda of the shoddiest kind. What’s gone wrong with the world? I can’t even take a bath without six or seven Russians jumping in with me. They’re in my shirt cupboard, and Putin and Veselnitskaya are in the kitchen now eating my wife’s jam. Oh, they’re climbing up my legs. I can see them peeping out of my wife’s blouse. Why doesn’t Mr. Pompeo do something about it before it is too late. Ohhhh….God… 

_______________

*This might not be technically true, but we are well beyond that being a substantive issue.

But Wait, There’s More…There’s Always More

The latest entries into the Chrump Collusion Cotillion appear to be emissaries from Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates, who may not have, but most definitely did draw up and make a presentation describing a multi-million dollar plan to do exactly what the Russians were already doing – setting up fake social media accounts to help get Chrump “elected.”  This was a real team effort, except apparently, no one knew who else was on the team, with one sickly-orange-colored, malodorous pervert of an exception.  Just that one man…and one of his sons.  Just him, his son and probably his son-in-law.  And maybe his daughter.  God bless the United States on (sic) America. (Ivanka actually said this at the opening of the U.S. embassy in Jerusalem.  Kids say the darndest things.)

I. Mangrey recalculating.  Reality is rapidly becoming irrelevant.

Fascism Update

In The Land of The Not-So-Jolly, Not-So-Green, Giant Menace

May 24, 2018
 

Trump (on players who choose to kneel during the anthem): “You shouldn't be there. Maybe you shouldn't be in the country."

Joy Behar (in response): “Some people say that dodging the draft five times is un-American. Maybe he shouldn't be in the country."

I. Mangrey. Sleep well Amerika.

Do You Smell What I Smell?

That’s Fascism Cooking

May 23, 2018

It truly pains me to say this, but though he is undoubtedly a narcissistic fascist, Donald Chrump is not Adolf Hitler.  However, the enduring effect that he will leave in his wake, will leave the United States in a state of ignominy similar to Germany after Hitler.  One major difference is that since Ivanka is Jewish, so daddy will not be rounding up the Jews...just the Latinos.  The other good news, of course, is that eventually Germany atoned for its sins and became a valued member of the world community.  And it took only a handful decades to remove much of the blood and stink.

Leslie Stahl recently spoke about a meeting she had with Chrump in immediately before his first interview after winning the Electoral College.  She asked this pettiest of tyrants why he refused to stop relentlessly bashing the press. Stahl said she asked Chrump, “Why do you keep hammering at this? And he said, ‘You know why I do it? I do it to discredit you all and demean you all, so when you write negative stories about me no one will believe you.”  By “no one” Chrump meant no one who has their head so far up Fux News’ asshole that they would not know real news if Dick Cheney shot them in the face with it.

The same moron who whined about Hillary Clinton’s emails ad nauseam, now cannot be bothered to use a secure phone because it is “too inconvenient.”  You might recall Il Douche screaming, “Hillary even sold out our nation’s security with her illegal private server,” and “She should be in jail for what she did.”  Heaven forbid Mr. Chrump should be inconvenienced.  It’s not like he is president of the United States or anything.  Seriously, it’s not like he is president. 

I know I said that Chrump is not Hitler, but the longer he stays in office, the more I think I might have gesprochen too soon.  First, we have Chrump’s Minister of Environmental Destruction Scott Pruitt banishing and forcibly removing selected reporters from an event on toxic chemicals.  Next we have Chrump’s Chief-of -stuff John Kelly announcing that Democrats are to be excluded from a meeting planned for tomorrow to provide more information about the FBI informant that Chrump claims infiltrated his 2016 campaign.  (According to Democrat Adam Schiff, intelligence sources told him that there will be Democrats at the meeting, so there might some early morning fireworks between the White House and the intelligence community.)  In any event, this meeting is the result of Chrump forcing the Justice Department to go fish for his red herring/spy conspiracy theory.  There are more fissures opening up in the Constitution’s foundation than those wantonly spewing molten lava and toxic gases all over Hawai’i thanks to unending eruption of Mt. Kiluea. 

Donald Chrump is the lava flow of presidents.  It is more than the fact that they have similar coloring at some point, and both are emitting toxic gases.  Like Chrump, lava cannot be stopped until it essentially stops itself.  Neither one has the slightest hint of concern for anything.  Lava is not sentient and therefore not expected to show empathy.  Chrump, whose sentience has yet to be proven, supposedly has the neurological equipment to do so, but clearly has neither ability nor interest in accessing that ability.  Like Chrump, lava obliterates everything in its path.  Bullets can’t stop it, rockets can’t stop it, you can’t even use nuclear force.  What Kiluea is doing to Hawai’i, Chrump is doing to the mainland.  Just that he is not physically destroying everything in his path.  That would actually be better than what he is doing.  Der Furor is wreaking havoc on the very heart and soul of America – not that they were particularly healthy to begin with.

I. Mangrey erupting.  I’d rather have lave in the White House…especially right now

American Intelligence: The Oxy-est of Morons

COLLUSION ACCOMPLISHED

May 22, 2018 

The Republican chairman and ranking Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee announced that they have reached a different conclusion – regarding Russian interference in the 2016 election – than that of their counterparts in the House.  As you may recall, the House Intelligence Committee, led by Chrump tool Devin Nunes, decided to avoid looking at most of the available evidence completely, and to ignore the evidence they bothered to look at, before announcing that Donald Chrump was completely in the clear.  Many people would call that collusion.  Or obstruction of justice.  Or crimes against the Constitution.

The House committee’s decision was a unilateral one, made by Nunes who had to recuse himself shortly after the committee started its work.  Nunes, who worked on the Chrump campaign and transition team before heading the House investigation, was caught canoodling with the White House in an attempt to deceive the American public.  Nunes decided to un-recuse himself in order to protect the man he was supposed to be investigating.  Ranking Democrat Adam Schiff, was vigorously and vocally opposed to shutting down the House investigation since there was so much other evidence to be seen, and since the evidence already seen warranted anything but walking away.

The Senate Intelligence Committee, on the other hand, has instead endorsed the U.S. intelligence community's assessment of Russia’s involvement in the 2016 presidential election.  That assessment insists that Russia, at the behest of Vladimir Putin, intervened in 2016 specifically to help elect then-candidate Donald Trump and to defeat Hillary Clinton.  Clinton was Putin’s worst nightmare – hawkish on Russia, and obviously much smarter and tougher than the orange-colored, tiny-handed, syphilitic sociopath who was and is up to his eyeballs in Russian money, debt and probably a healthy dose of blackmail…“allegedly.”

Adding insult to ignominy, the Daily Beast reported that the Senate Judiciary Committee has documents that “suggest the Kremlin used the NRA to offer the campaign a back channel to Moscow – including a potential meeting between Trump and Vladimir Putin – and might have secretly funded Trump’s campaign.”  Surely this is nothing more than an amusing coincidence.

We also learned that the FBI was watching the Chrump campaign in 2016 amid concerns that Russia was trying to help Chrump defeat Clinton.  Those concerns arose out of thin air – albeit thin air that was thick with Russians arm-in-arm with countless members of the Chrump team.  The Russian-backed American president is livid that the FBI was spying on his crooked campaign and now demanding that the FBI be investigated for investigating him.  I know what you must be thinking – it is the FBI’s job to investigate criminal, possibly treasonous activity, even if that activity is as innocuous as a hostile foreign power trying to influence the election of an American president. 

I suppose Chrump cannot be faulted for expecting that his life-long career as a thug, liar and head of the Chrump Crime Family should simply continue unabated, particularly now that the Oval Office is his. His decades-long crime spree had gone not only unpunished, but rewarded for so long, it is reasonable for him to think it absurd for some loser-ex-head-of-the-FBI to start picking on him now, just because he illegally obtained the highest office in the land for the sole purpose of lining his ill-fitting pockets.

I. Mangrey reporting.  No collusion here. Believe me.                                   
                                                                                                            

You Want a Peace of Me?

Lies On The Prize

May 20, 2018

The Nobel Peace Prize – named for the inventor of dynamite, Alfred Nobel – could finally make itself completely irrelevant.  As if being awarded to Barack Obama for doing nothing – actually before doing nothing – was not enough humiliation.  Unless it was really awarded to him simply for being elected president in such a racially challenged nation.  Chrump’s first step toward self-imagined immortality was overseeing the return of three Americans imprisoned and tortured (also known as enhanced overseas lodging techniques) by Kim Jong Un.  While most Americans celebrated for Chrump, the important thing was the presumed – if not imagined – super 3 AM television ratings, the kind of thing that features prominently in the decision-making process of the Nobel committee.  Clearly, Chrump had as much to do with the release of these prisoners as Reagan had to do with the inevitable implosion of the Soviet Union, but hey, this is how myths are born.

Toward that end, Der Furor told the world that, “We want to thank Kim Jong Un, who really was excellent to these three incredible people.”  Yes, what could be more excellent than imprisoning American citizens with no evidence of wrongdoing and then using them as bargaining chips with which to con a conman.   A fourth prisoner was returned home almost a year ago, just in time to die from the effects of his captivity; the White House has yet to comment on the excellence of the treatment he had received.  One would be excused for tipping one’s hat to the man Chrump called a maniac, dubbed Little Rocket Man, and then compared nuclear button sizes with, for so easily convincing the artist-of-the-deal to come to the negotiating table. 

A reporter asked Trump during a Cabinet meeting at the White House whether he deserved the peace prize.  Der Furor replied with a shit-eating grin, “Everyone thinks so, but I would never say it.” He added, “Many people are saying they should change the name to the Donald J. Chrump Peace Prize. Although, the gold medallion will have to be much bigger so that my name will be easier to read it. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, but it probably is and I would be okay with that if that’s what everyone wants.”

Forget It Jake, It’s Koreatown

Even if the Koreas happen to reunite under Chrump’s hateful eye, the only reason it could be attributed to him would be due to his relentless bullying, pathetic name-calling, and his out-and-out threats of nuclear annihilation.  How peaceful.  Chrump would not be the first poor choice to win the prize, but he would be one of the worst. 

Chrump continues his untarnished record of being taken to the cleaners by each and every other world leader with whom he interacts (unless you count his continued flouting of the Constitution in order to reap incredible personal profit thanks to his public office by double-dealing with everyone everywhere). He is currently being played like a plastic fiddle by Kim Jong Un, who is already threatening to nix the peace talks with his American counterpart. It remains to be seen just how much groveling we can expect from Hair Chrump in order to get the great television ratings that might accrue from meeting with Kim, and that coveted Nobel Peace thing he probably never heard of before last week – and wants more than anything this side of a cheeseburger, since he found out that Obama got one.

One problem is that North Korea despises new Secretary of State, and regime change aficionado John Bolton.  This was true even before Bolton trotted out the “Libya model” as the way to proceed with North Korea.  As many people not part of the Chrump administration recall, Libya gave up its nuclear weapons program in exchange for being thrown into chaos after long-time dictator Mallomar Gadoofus (sp?) was removed from office (and the land of the living) by his own people. Chrump claimed he not in favor of this approach for dealing with North Korea, but that was several days ago. 

The Three Stooges of Peace: Schmo, Squirrelly, and Scary

 

Bolton also wants to “streamline authority” for our national cyber defense program. He eliminated the cyber coordinator, because how can cyber be a threat? Or something.  Leaked memos indicate that Bolton is shifting priority to lances, crossbows and bi-planes to ward off future attacks on our elections. Rumors that Bolton is simply making us more vulnerable to attack in order to manufacture excuses for military engagements across the globe are either completely unfounded or absolutely true. 

I. Mangrey reporting.  Why is there no Nobel War Prize?
                                                                                                      

Poe To The People

Once Upon a Century Dreary

May 17, 2018

Every now and again we at Paying Attention take leave of our senses…I mean take leave of the perpetually nauseating, cruelly relentless and painfully frightening events of the moment to look back in anger and/or look forward in terror.  Today’s offering is a modest foray into literary ramblings, looking to a wordsmith of yore to help survive the current Kafkaesque onslaught, hopefully avoiding any actionable plagiarism. 

Who better to capture the mood of America in the Year of Our Lord Clearly Giving Up and Leaving, than the author of the appalling, the penman of the perverse, the executor of the eerie, the master of the macabre – Edgar Allan Poe.  Today, America is enveloped in an Orange Gas Cloud.  The pall of Chrump permeates the land, the air, the sea and Twitter.  The pain and stench are unavoidable. We could use a man like Poe to translate today’s unmitigated angst into digestible prose.

Edgar Allan Poe

Poe had his finger on the pained pulse of personal psychology, and though he lived so long ago, his literary works might well have been penned in our time. Since they were not, the literary plagiarists here at Paying Attention have once again appropriated classic writings for a new era, with only slight modification. Poe seemed to capture our current mood with eerie exactitude, though he wrote almost 200 years ago. Actually, his dark and bruising tales seem almost quaint compared to the reality we inhabit. We are living through one of the scariest stories ever conceived. Poe could not have known that his country would one day be under the tasteless boot of a manic brute who would make Poe’s darkest tales seem like something out of Dr. Seuss.

We give you now, whether you want it or not, excerpts of Edgar Allan Poe in the time of Chrump…

The Fall of The Louse of Chrumper

It was a dark and soundless day near the end of the year, and clouds of doom were hanging low in the heavens. All day I had been hoping that the second least popular candidate ever might prevail over the very least; and in the early evening I was forced to admit we would all be captives of the Louse of Chrumper.

Best house ever.

 

I do not know how it was — but, with my first sight of the newly elected, even before that excruciating November night, a sense of heavy sadness filled my spirit. I was not alone. Across the land, many anxiously held their breath. Blinked away heavy tears. Coughed up their meals. I looked at the scene before me — at the Louse himself — at the deplorables around him — at the outlandishly wrought and colored mass atop his vacuous head — at his empty yet somehow mocking eyes — and at a few dead trees, dead from the sight of him. I looked at this scene, I say, with a complete sadness of soul which was no healthy, earthly feeling. There was a coldness, a sickening of the heart, in which I could discover nothing to lighten the weight I felt. What was it, I asked myself, what was it that was so fearful, so frightening in my view of the Louse of Chrumper? This was a question to which I could find no answer.  

The Craven

Once upon a country dreary, while I watched him, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of idiotic tweets—

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one oddly crapping, tweeting near the courtroom door.

“’Tis some idiot,” I muttered, “tweeting by the courtroom door—

            Only Chrump and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak November;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow;—some impeachment then to borrow

An end to all our Chrumpish sorrow—sorrow he does on us dump—

For the sick and freakish tyrant whom the Devil named The Chrump—

            Nameless here for evermore.

From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost before me—

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Stormy—

Then was there that constant rapping—

Rapping on the courtroom door—

               Nameless here for evermore.

Quoth the craven…

            “Only this and nothing more.”   Tweeteth Chrump, “Not my fault.”

            “Only this and nothing more.”   Tweeteth Chrump, “Build the wall.”

    Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon us all.

    Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow

    From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the porn star she—

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Stormy—

            Nameless here for evermore.

In deference to you, the loyal, sensitive and no doubt weary reader, we will leave you for now, to process, ponder and pass along what you have just witnessed.  And for good or ill, allow you at least a brief respite in anticipation of part two of our prosaic Poe parodies, which you will be able to enjoy or ignore in the coming days.

Ed Venture
Managing Editor, Paying Attention

Bang The Chrump Slowly

Chrump Shoots Himself in The Face With Iran

 

May 11, 2018

Touched by an Asshole: Uncle Psycho Wants YOU! 

Chrump continues to carry out his only agenda – other than enriching himself – reversing every single achievement gained, against incredible odds, by Barack Obama.  Maybe Der Furor is upset because he was so fucking wrong in so many ways about Obama’s birth circumstances. 
Trump said, “Today's action sends a critical message: the United States no longer makes empty threats.  When I make promises, I keep them.”  According to alternative sources he added, “As everyone knows, I am the United States and the United States is me.” 

King Donny XIV

“I never second guess my self. I have a terrific self, the best genes.  And, as everyone knows, I have a very good brain, and many people are saying this, and my brain always gets it right the first time.  Like Roy Moore – I was against him before I was for him and now I’m against him again, and not just because he lost and is now a loser.  It’s because I was right the first time, like always.  So I never second guess myself unless, after I second guess myself, I go back to my first guess.  So it’s like I never changed my mind in the first place.  In fact, I never think about any decision I make.  I just make it, and when I make a promise that’s it.  It doesn’t matter if that promise is incredibly stupid or dangerous.  And nobody tells me what to do, not my advisors, not our allies, not even Ivanka, though she thinks I listen to her – she’s such a sweet kid, if she wasn’t my daughter perhaps I’d be dating her.

Many people are saying that I’m an asshole, but I’m not just an asshole, I’m an incredible asshole.  I would say, probably the most incredible asshole of all time I think.”

We Could Do Worse, But Not Very Likely…Except Maybe Mike Pence

Der Furor recently addressed an adoring crowd as he writhes in his last throes.  He “joked”, “So unless they give me an extension for the presidency — which I do not think the Fake News media would be too happy about. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Actually, they would be happy, because when I am not here their ratings are going to sink. So they would probably be very happy.”  This, from the same man who celebrated the homecoming of three Americans just freed from North Korea, by carping about how amazing the television ratings for their 3:00am arrival stateside must have been.  His priorities have never been clearer.

What is unclear though is whether by, “extension for the presidency”, he meant he should be allowed to serve more than two terms, or if he was referring to being permitted to complete a single term after he is indicted by Robert Mueller, and subsequently impeached. Chrump might be better off – or possibly be best off – asking Dick Cheney to shoot him in the face.

Chrump is not putting all of his rotten eggs in one solid gold basket though. He is already working closely with two of his closest advisors to replace the couch potatoes of Fux and Friends.  Those close to the prezident say he is spending most of his time – when not watching the current Fox and Friends – in rehearsals, preparing his audition tape for the next phase of his reality-show career.

The new unproved Fux and Friends

I. Mangrey repeating. TV or not TV, that is the question.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Day

My Pe(s)t Chrump

May 10, 2018

Finally, we have a president in a legal tussle with a porn star. I don’t know about you, buy I finally feel that my life is as complete as can be fairly expected. You might think that seeing a reality-TV-buffoon with cartoon hair living in the White House three days a week would have been enough. While this was a major millstone milestone, it still felt like something was missing. Now that Stormy Daniels is suing Donald Chrump, aka David Dennison (the alias he used in the agreement he never signed), to make null and void the non-disclosure agreement that has kept her from telling the world about her months-long affair with Dennison/Chrump, I am sleeping much better. I only wish it could be at night instead of all day long. One step at a time I suppose.

We here at Paying Attention are always on the lookout for things to make your lives better in these challenging times. Sometimes we just cannot find anything worthwhile so we hunker down and create something incredibly tremendous right here in our little Paying Attention Playroom. Fortunately for you, we have done it again. Another homerun from the folks who brought you Votegra for Electile Dysfunction and Rent-a-Coma for escaping the Chrump Era. This time we bring you something for the little ones. Something that will make childhood great again. Many people are saying this. And these are the best people, who know the best words when they see them.

Many factors go into buying books for the little ones. They are hopefully still innocent, if they have not been victims of a daily mass shooting. Or pre-teens addressing 800,000 people (more eloquently than the current White House occupant ever could) marching to end gun violence. Depending on the child’s age, one might focus primarily on the artwork. Many parents want something with a positive message. Maybe something that celebrates family, nature, friendship, or maybe just a lighthearted story that rhymes. There are the classics like so many Dr. Suess titles, A Fly Went By, Are You My Mother, or George W. Bush’s favorites – The Very Hungry Caterpillar and My Pet Goat, or even 2011’s Go The F**k To Sleep. More recently, John Oliver introduced the world to A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo – a lovely book about the Pence family’s gay bunny.

The original President Moron reading My Pet Goat to kids on September 11, 2001

It is not always easy to decide how much to tell your little ones about the world around them and how much/how long to protect them from the painfully insulting, heartbreaking, life-un-affirming insanity that is our lot under the current administration. Surely, we cannot tell them the story of When Donny Met Stormy.

Goodnight Goon

For those of you with little ones, get ready for a great new book for those children living in and hopefully, one day surviving the Chrump era. Soon to be a best-seller, Goodnight Goon promises to be, not merely a classic, but the best children’s book ever and the best best-seller anyone has ever known. Believe it. There has never been, nor will there ever be, such a tremendous book to put the little ones to bed.

Enjoy this preview from the book…

Don’t miss your chance to get this wonderful lullaby-in-print before supplies run out or all books are simply banned because Dear Leader becomes brutally jealous of anyone who can actually read.

I. Mangrey reposing. Goodnight Gracie.

 

Dirty Old Men

Obstruction of Intelligence

May 5, 2018

Donald Chrump is the smartest man in the room. Once he leaves the room however, all bets are off. It is a very small room. With seating for one. The room is his bathroom. But he just invited in someone who is unlikely to look smarter than the Don.

Too true to be good

 

I.Mangrey. WTFF



Old News

Stumbling Down Memory Lane

 May 4, 2018

Been either a bit under the weather, lazy, or lost in time zones. I still want to acknowledge a significant date in American history. Misty-eyed for the days when we had a good-old-fashioned-James-Bond-type villain to sink our teeth into, we take you back to a time before Paying Attention was even a twinkle in anyone’s fingertips. Back when Cheneys and Bushes and Rumsfelds and Ashcrofts roamed the Earth. Back before Twitter-crazed, orange-haired, mental defectives could become president. Before I. Mangrey found his way onto the internets.

 

So, remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk...oops, wrong memory lane.

 

Remember? 

 

Ed Venture
Managing Editor, Paying Attention 

 

Enjoy this blast from the past…but keep your head down. 

Haymarket, Kent State And Now This…

USSA 

May 4, 2006 

On the anniversary of The Haymarket Tragedy of 1886, where the United States government violently disrupted a peaceful union rally during a nation-wide strike for an 8-hour workday – resulting in several dead American civilians and the scape-goating/imprisoning of several innocent men (later pardoned) and the Kent State Massacre of 1970, where the United States government violently disrupted a peaceful student protest against the Viet Nam war – resulting in four dead American civilians and numerous wounded when National Guardsmen opened fire on unarmed students, Dick Cheney decides to massacre whatever semblance of world peace that may remain by leveling self-righteous threats against Russia.  Shocking almost everyone in the reality-based world community, Itchy-Trigger-Finger-Dick said, "In Russia today, opponents of reform are seeking to reverse the gains of the last decade."  Dick-Tator Cheney, the man who held inappropriate secret meetings with oil reps who wrote our nation’s energy policy, the man who led the charge to attack Iraq for no good reason whatsoever, the man who repeatedly lied to the American public about a make-believe relationship between bin Laden and Hussein, the man who vowed to maintain America’s right to use torture, the man who oversaw the outing of possibly our most important covert intelligence asset on Iranian nuclear issues and of course the man who shot his very large, very old fundraising and hunting buddy in the face, apparently mistaking him for a small, flightless bird while in a drunken stupor that took 18 hours to recover from. (Although, luckily for our nation’s security, the victim had the good sense to apologize once he was able to remain upright again and promised never to do bird imitations while sneaking up in front of a drunken man with a gun ever again.)  This very same Dick is the man who now sees fit to begin posturing to Russia that he has a thing or two to teach THEM about democracy in the 21^st Century.  Just when you think these guys can’t get any dumber…  

 

President Doody

This administration is desperate for the good old days right after 9/11 when many Americans were filled with fear and loathing and willing to pretend that the recently appointed president was a glorious leader who would deliver them from evil with a crusade of freedom, bombing and torture.  This joyride was short-lived when we all found ourselves in a seemingly impromptu game of Three-country Monty.  Awash in what to some was a sea of lies and bullshit, we were suddenly being told that Osama bin Laden was in fact Saddam Hussein and that America needed to immediately invade a country that had nothing to do with our current Red Alert.  “Alright,” said most Americans, “you must know what you’re doing, even though last week you swore to git bin Laden dead or alive.”  Well, those days are gone now and the once very popular, if not in fact elected president now has an approval rating somewhere around that of syphilis.   

This unacceptable turn of events for a man who never looks at the polls calls for a stunning and futile gesture that will make people fear and love him again.  As if to prove that he never reads the polls (or the Constitution, newspapers, history, or books of any kind for that matter), President Pee Wee^© sent his top henchman out to do his talking for him.  None other than Dick-Tator Cheney has now been set loose on his first PR campaign since he shot a grown man in the face.  Apparently, Mr. Cheney has not learned his lesson of when to overindulge in alcoholic beverages safely.  One can only hope that Cheney was again out of his right mind when he accused Russia of backsliding on democracy saying, "In many areas of civil society…from religion and the news media to advocacy groups and political parties…the government has unfairly and improperly restricted the rights of the people."  Maybe he’s not drinking enough or perhaps somebody has slipped some LSD into his whiskey.  As if he hadn’t said enough already, the crazed Veep went on to flagrantly insult Russia saying, "No legitimate interest is served when oil and gas become tools of intimidation or blackmail, either by supply manipulation or attempts to monopolize transportation.”  Somebody get this guy a mirror. 

 

Vice President Strangelove

Strangely enough, Russian President Vladimir Putin responded angrily, accusing Cheney of risking the start of a new Cold War with such irresponsible comments.  This of course is just what the Dick-Tator ordered.  He knows there is no way in hell that his “boss’s” poll numbers can improve without a massive threat to national security – real or imagined.  Since the Iran thing isn’t panning out the way they wanted, the Pee Wee administration is desperately searching for an alternative dance partner for the necessary threat of a new war in time for the upcoming mid-term elections.  Cheney, who cut his fangs on Cold War politics obviously decided to go home with who brought him to this dance. 

Cheney of course stands behind his comments, which he claims were carefully crafted, just as he stood behind his shooting of a man in the face while hunting crippled birds. 

sg reporting

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment invited.