The Mend is Near

 It’s His Party, You Can Cry if You Want To

      Is your brain bruised?

From the really terrific people who brought you Votegra for Electile Dysfunction…

It’s not a drug, it’s not Covfefe, it’s a way of life. Sure there’s a pill to get you in the mood, but why call it a drug? What? Are you obsessed with facts and reality? That is so pre-Chrump. SAD. If this is you, we have just what the doctor (before he was outlawed, except for the very rich) ordered.

     Are your emotions frazzled?

Would you like to simply check out for a few years and wake up fresh as a daisy in 2020 or 2024?

Would you like to do it safely without risking damage to your vital organs and precious bodily fluids? Does this even matter anymore?

                         Does your psyche suck?

Finally there is a way to protect your mind – if nothing else – from Twitterbell

What you need is
Rent-A-Coma

Doesn’t this sound appealing?

Doesn’t this look peaceful?

It isn’t suicide. It isn’t moving to Canada. It’s just a time-out. The massive hospital expenses will be partially offset by the great savings you’ll realize on food, travel, shelter, Christmas and birthday gifts and all the other things you waste money on every day, trying to distract yourself from the neo-fascist destruction of Amerika by the Russian agent known as Chrumputin. Plus, most if not none of it will be covered by whatever the fuck Republican’ts are pretending will replace Obamacare.

Don’t get stuck in alt-reality without a viable exit strategy.

Our state-of-the-art resting facilities are in full compliance with all current regulations. Our promise to you is that when these regulations, as all regulations, are rescinded as Chrump and the Republican’ts slash everything not aimed at helping the wealthiest Americans, we will maintain the highest standards required by law…when there was law.

CAUTION: The desire to remain comatose may be habit forming

Here’s what people are saying about Rent-A-Coma:

       BHO from Hawai’i: “                                   ”

       SJG from Pennsylvania: “                                                 !”

       Gen. JTR, Ret: “I left instructions not to bother me unless James Comey testified in public about his private meetings with Chrump. And I’m glad I did. Next I’m going to check out until impeachment hearings begin. I wouldn’t want to miss that."

       RFG from Maryland: “zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

When we introduced Rent-a-Coma last year we were not prepared for the pure idiocy and galactic mayhem about to unfold. We simply wanted to help people still tethered to reality to avoid the ravages, indignities and insidious fascism of the impending Chrump Regime. We had no idea how absolutely terrifying and disastrous Der Furor would be. No one could have anticipated how high the demand would be, and we sold out in minutes. Add to all of Chrump’s epoxy-“haired” lunacy Senate majority zombie Mitch McConnell’s super-secret assault on health care in America, and no matter how much Rent-A-Coma we produce, the demand will surely outpace the supply. So act now, or forever wake up screaming in the middle of the night, either living through the Chrump Era, or reliving the horrifying memories of same. There will be no Death Panel, only death. We guarantee that the new batch is even better. You won’t even know what hit you. And you won’t want to.

Ask your doctor or Magic 8 Ball if Rent-A-Coma is right for you, or just go get some. It’s all good. And no prescription is necessary, just a credit card.

Buy yours today or tomorrow, but don’t wait too long. If you are forced to endure the next four years without Rent-A-Coma
you are likely to be conscious and very, very sorry. At best. Act now – supplies are limited. Don’t be the last one left standing.

Call right now: 800-NOT-HERE
Operators are standing by…but not many because most of them have already taken advantage of their perks – free samples of Rent-A-Coma – and the rest of them are sure to follow.
I know I am.