“This
is not a normal Court.” President Joseph R. Biden, June 29, 2023
The Retrograde Court: Guess which clowns voted against progress
Uncle
T of course, got where he is thanks in large part to affirmative action. Thomas
received a scholarship set aside for racial minorities as an undergraduate at
Holy Cross College. He was admitted to Yale Law School in 1971 as part of an
aggressive (and successful) affirmative-action program implemented to achieve a
10 percent minority enrollment. Yale offered him generous financial aid. But
that was then.
Interestingly,
while most of his colleagues on the Court, who lied about abortion, Thomas lied
through his teeth about his stance on affirmative action during his “high-tech
lynching”…I mean, his confirmation hearing. Thomas is known to have blamed
affirmative action for ruining his career. Thanks to his raging cynicism and
paranoia, and perhaps a warranted or unwarranted lack of self-esteem, he blamed
affirmative action for making it look like he could not achieve things on his
merits as a human being.
Long-time Supreme Court mime Clarence Thomas,
now won't STFU
“I
have not during my adult life, nor during my academic career, been a part of
any quota. The effort on the part of Yale, during my years there, was to reach
out and open its doors to minorities who they felt were qualified. And I took
them at their word on that, and I have advocated that very kind of affirmative
action.” Clarence Thomas, testifying under
oath, September 11, 1991
Thomas
and his fellow unravellers have once again succeeded in moving America backwards.
By upending precedent and legislating from the bench, which is something else
they claim to vigorously oppose. Fuck. Them.
Tune
in next time when the Roberts Court votes to reinstate King George III (or
Donald Trump, whoever happens to be more available at the time) and inscribe
into law that it be a federal crime to throw tea into America’s waterways.
“Just
remember, what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening.” Donald J. Trump, July 24, 2018
You might have heard what many
legal experts are calling the smoking gun…or was it gub. It is a very special
audiotape from the summer of 2021 (six months after Trump was unceremoniously
tossed out of office, incited a coup d’etat, and then absconded with a massive haul
of government-property documents) that has made its way into the public sphere. No, it’s not the elusive pee-pee tape – Putin is still holding on to that one. This
is a tape of Dumbass Donald Trump actually showing classified documents to a
bunch of dumbasses who had no clearance to see such documents. Not to mention
the fact that those classified documents were in Trump’s possession illegally. Also, the idiot committing the crime – while being recorded for posterity – knew he was being recorded.
Those are my documents, given
to me by Jesus
On this tape you can hear the disgraced,
twice-impeached, twice-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and
Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president crinkling pages as he and the idiots in the room with him amuse themselves at the expense of national security and intelligence –
in every sense of that word. If this had been a phone call, it would have been
perfect.
Trump is like those horrible
assholes who impress themselves by live streaming themselves committing crimes,
except this horrible asshole thinks that admitting to doing crime comprises being exonerated. What a maroon!
Hey, Dumbass. You keep using
the word “exonerated.” I do not think it means what you think it means. That is,
I don't think you have a fucking clue what it means. Either that or you are
simply lying you're dumb fucking ass off. Oh, now I get it.
Inigo Montoya speaks
He Knows What He Did Last Summer
In a recent interview on Fux News, a week before the audio was released, Trump denied he was actually showing people any documents: “There was no document. That was a massive amount of papers and everything else, talking about Iran and other things, and it may have been held up or not, but that was not a document. I didn’t have a document per se.” I would like to take Caligula…I mean Trump as his word, but I think it is entirely possible that he might have been lying, and the audiotape of the event seems to back me up on this. Oh, the shame of it all.
There is a mountain of proof
that Dumbass Donald has one or another problem with the word exonerated,
along with myriad other words, phrases and concepts – concepts like truth,
humanity, democracy, national security, loyalty, Presidential Records Act,
espionage, America, reality, and others too numerous to mention with only
several terabytes of space on my computer.
I will defer to Maddowblog’s Steve
Benen to take us on a stroll down Trump’s exonerated/memory lane to provide some
context:
In March 2018, Trump claimed that the House
Intelligence Committee had completely exonerated him in the Russia
scandal. That wasn’t true.
In June 2018, Trump said the Justice
Department inspector general’s office had “totally” exonerated him in the
Russia scandal. That was both wrong and kind of bonkers.
In February 2019, Trump claimed that the
Senate Intelligence Committee had also exonerated him in the Russia
scandal. That also wasn’t true.
In March 2019, Trump claimed the judge in a
Paul Manafort trial exonerated him, too. That also wasn’t true.
In June 2021, Trump claimed he’d been
“totally exonerated” by testimony from former White House Counsel Don McGahn,
which was largely the opposite of the truth.
In February 2023, Trump claimed to have
“total exoneration” from the special grand jury in Fulton County, Georgia. This
was largely not true.
And in June 2023, Trump pretended that a
devastating audio recording, in which he appears to have admitted to committing
crimes “is actually an exoneration,” as if reality has no meaning.
“I don’t do things
wrong. I do things right. I’m a legitimate person.” Conman J. Trump, June 27, 2023
“Yes you do. No, you
do not. No you fucking are not.” Ed Venture, June 28, 2023
Clearly, when Mr. Very-Stable-Genius
says he was exonerated, he means nailed bigly.
Tune in next time when Trump's lawyers have him take the stand as a hostile witness.
I. Mangrey reporting (like I
have something better to do).
In celebration of our
1500th post on this little blog. Someone on staff pulled up the very
first post inflicted on you, the unsuspecting public. In looking it over, we
were stunned at some of the thoughts (What, no prayers?) and how they line up
in relation to the morass we inhabit today.
We present, for your rereading pleasure, unedited
and in its entirety...
Give Me Parole Or Give
Me Death
The Belly of the Beast Friday, April 13, 2012
In a stunning turn of events, famed lunatic and cult leader
Charles Manson was denied parole again…for the twelfth time. This is a major blow to the Republican’t party
who was hoping that Mr. Manson would finally be freed from prison and able to
jump into the 2012 primary race. Frank Luntz and his lecherous lynchers
of language have been hard at work re-branding Manson in anticipation of
getting him sprung in time to save their nominating process before the general
election in November. Apparently the GOP is uncomfortable having a
presidential candidate running from behind prison walls.Who knew?
Luntz was hard at work selling the Pied Piper of mass murder
instead as a bold leader unafraid to think outside the box, an inspiring icon
of the people, an independent spirit – a Maverick, if you will – who always
fought against The Man and his Big Government, a self-made man who, while
others were content to wear their flag on their lapels put the symbol of the
land he loves where it really counts – etched into his forehead.
Party leaders were sure that Manson would be the one to finally
get Mitt Romney out of the driver’s seat and strapped neatly to the roof of the
Republican’t clown car. Now that Rick “Mr. Frothy” Santorum has seen his
shadow, the writing on the wall and the Will of God insisting he exit the race
(oh, and the impending humiliation of losing in his “home” state…again), there
appears to be nobody left in the general population to save the Republican’ts
from themselves and from nominating the hated flip-flopping gaff machine, Mitt
Romney.
This is why the party that hates women, Hispanics, Blacks, gays
and lesbians, workers, poor people, the elderly and anyone not voting
Republican’t was pinning all its dwindling and pathetic hopes on getting
Charlie into the fray. He is clearly more stable and intelligent than any
of the cavalcade of lesser lights we have seen come and go during this Everlasting
GOP-Stopper of a primary – Donald “I’m Not Bankrupt This Week” Trump, Michelle
“Democrats Ate My Brain” Bachman, Herman “9-9-9” Cain, Newt “I’m The Smartest
Man In The World” Gingrich and finally Rick “Man-On-Dog” Santorum.The Republican’ts were hoping that Manson
would turn the tide since he is known to have had a way with women.
In other news, from the Bureau of Making Shit Up: Alan West
(R-Looney Bin) “I believe there’s 78 to 81 members of the Democrat party that
are members of the Communist Party.” After letting fly with this insane
crap, the mentally unstable Rep. West stood there doing his best impression of
Clarence Thomas during oral arguments over the past five years; that is,
staring off into space without saying a word, somehow managing to remain
upright while simultaneously unconscious. Meanwhile the crowd he had just
verbally assailed murmured in utter disbelief…or stupidity. Apparently,
after a half minute or so he was able to re-engage the tiny bit of fleshy
material between his ears long enough to continue, “No, they actually don’t
hide it. It’s called the congressional progressive caucus.”Many Repubs have recently floated West as a
running mate for Manson Romney.No, seriously.
I. Mangrey reporting. Thanks for listening. Responsible comment invited.
Once again, the good
folks here at Paying Attention™ are attempting to cover all the bases.
Obviously, we try to provide nearly-in-the-moment coverage of all the news we
can both stomach and cover given the volume of bullshit and the limit imposed
by the number of hours in a day. We have also been known to occasionally offer
up articles of impeachment…er, uh, entertainment.
Our latest offering
ventures into territory into which we have not heretofore ventured – board
games. You are likely familiar with the classic now-80-year-old game of CLUE.
The game requires players to determine the person, room and weapon involved in
a murder. For example, from a much earlier version of the game, a player would
aver: it was Colonel Mustard with the rope in the kitchen.
We have concocted a
brand-new (and many people are saying IMPROVED) version just in time for the
impending federal trial of disgraced, twice-impeached, twice-indicted (so far),
failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president
Donald Trump. In case you missed it, Trump was recently indicted, arrested and
arraigned (boy it feels good to type that) on very strong and powerful federal
charges, making him the only president or ex-president ever to be charged with
federal crimes – not to mention conspiracy to commit obstruction of justice and
31 counts under the Espionage Act. Good times people, good times.
Without further ado,
feast your eyes on our soon-to-be-sold-out version of CLUE, which we are
calling CLUELESS…
The new suspects: Sponge Blob Square Hair, Waltine the Body Man,
Low Rent Lauren, Roger Stain, Empty G, and The Junkyard Judge
My money is on
Sponge Blob Square Hair with the boxes of stolen classified documents in the
bathroom. Other possibilities are Waltine the Body Man with the hand truck in
the storage room, Low Rent Lauren with the AR-15 in
the sub-basement, Roger Stain with the Nixon tattoo in the dumpster, Empty G
with fat fucking mouth all over the place and The Junkyard Judge with the gavel
in the courtroom.
______________________________________________________ *aka Crappy The Clown, Schmucky The Boor, Asshole the Grouch and of
course, Pouty McFuckface
Below (right) is the backdrop
in front of which Trump whined, “I did everything right and they indicted me. I’m
an innocent man. I did nothing wrong.”
Ari Melber juxtaposed two lying
dicks One scowling “I am not a crook,” the other whining “I did nothing wrong.”
Keith Olbermann, on his Countdown
podcast, made the following observation regarding Trump in the picture – all but perched on Trump’s right shoulder is a man “twirling his mustache like Snidely
Whiplash.”
OJ Simpson on murdering his ex-wife and her boyfriend: “If I did it.”
Trump on stealing classified
documents from the White House: “I would do that.”
That was Trump’s response to Sean
Hannity, who has on occasion had eyes on Trump’s small intestine…from the
inside, trying to get Trump to say there’s no way he would do what he did. No
one in their right mind would make the mistake of counting on either of these
wretched creatures to tell the truth, but if you had to bet, I doubt you would
put your money Trump being the one to break character. This of course, was just
one of many public confessions Trump believes are exonerations. Dumbest
Orwellian language jiu-jitsu ever.
According to legal experts all
of these confessions are legitimate evidence should the speaker somehow end up
being indicted, arrested, arraigned and put on trial.
Fux News also went full Orwell
in their “reporting” of the alternative facts on Arraignment Day sharing the
chyron with the most outstanding psychological projection in history
Only one of these men is a
wannabe dictator who incessantly advocates having his political rivals arrested. Hint: it was not the guy on the left.
FBI Shares Donald Trump’s
Doc Pics
You are likely aware that boxes
of stolen documents at Mor-on-Largo were discovered in a ballroom, a bathroom –
including in the shower (I’ve heard of laundering money, but this is just
stupid), in a bedroom. One assumes they did not search the place where Sean
Hannity often has his lips, and Trump has probably improved his document-flushing
technique. The FBI recently released more images of piles and piles of boxes
containing who-knows-what in all the above mentioned locations throughout Trump’s
Florida residence (which he promised the state of Florida would not be used as
a residence). Here’s one of my personal favorites
One of Trump’s doc pics showing
how he protected the extremely sensitive documents he stole
I. Mangrey documenting history lest we be doomed to reread it.
UNRELATED UPDATE:
God's personal whore Pat Robertson, in his first act of benefit to humanity, remains completely dead.
All
of that is lost for most of us living within Mother Earth today. All of it.
Completely. For too, too many.
There
is no umbilical cord between us and Her. None is needed. We are never physically separated,
within her womb forever, whether moving or finished moving.
We
leave you with one single thought as we acknowledge this special day in our
solar cycle and think about the state of our relationship with our wonderful,
special, one-of-a-kind-as-far-as-we-know planet.
We
are so fucked it isn’t even funny.
Nonetheless,
Happy Solstice.
The Children Will Rise Up!
Think
about it. Won’t you?
Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Summer Solstice.
Since environmental issues have always been my
number one concern, I was a big fan of the South African stupid genius, but now
I see he is just an embarrassment and social media whore looking out for no one
but himself and his fortune.
So let's run down (better yet, run over) the
company that über-douchebag Elon Mush has been keeping.
First,
he met with Trump shortly after he was Electoral Colleged into the White
House, claiming it was to school Trump on renewables. I believed it then, but
now it seems as though being a fascist douchebag is his main squeeze and doing
anything decent for the environment is just his side hustle.
Bannon,
Mush and Trump: three people you wouldn’t want to meet
in a dark alley, or well-lit room, or any other fucking place
After Mush grossly overpaid for Twitter (relying in part on Saudi
funding) in order to aid and abet fascists, Nazis, Holocaust deniers, white
supremacists and their fellow conspiracy-theory whack-jobs, he took mania into
his own hands and claimed that mega-philanthropist George Soros “hates
humanity.” Not satisfied that he had made his point, the Head Twit claimed
there was no proof that one of our heroic mass shooters – you may remember the
one who shot up a mall in Texas who was covered in tattoos featuring a swastika
and an SS symbol – was a white supremacist.
Mush
was also seen hanging with Saudi judge, jury and most notably, executioner
Mohamed bin Salman's BFF Jared Kushner at the World Cup final in a lovely place
called Qatar.
He told
people to vote Ratpublican in 2022 and advocated for Kevin McQarthy’s
speakership.
More
recently Elon was seen cozying up to international man-about-fascism Rupert
Murdoch at the Super Bowl.
Mush
and fellow billionaire asshole Murdoch
His
latest confab was with none other than human gum-stuck-to-the-bottom-of-a-leper's-shoe
Ted Cruz.
As the
saying goes, a man is known by the company he creeps…or the creeps who keep him
company...or something like that.
Even
without palling around with some of the biggest assholes on the planet, Mush
does pretty well on his own. He is an anti-union, pro-fascist, anti-Semitic, homophobic
narcissist who did some decent things that accidentally help the planet.
I
am not saying the following to be rude or mean, just accurate. Elon Mush is one
seriously fucked up motherfucker.
This has been your Paying
Attention™ Schmuck Of The Decade*. Fuck yeah.
________________________________________________ *To be fair, Mush is still
probably only a close second to DJ Trump. But he's moving up the charts. With a bullet.
I wish Joe Pesci would
introduce her to his little friend
Boebert’s
blonde doppelganger and fellow cartoon character posing as a representative
Empty G, with whom Boebert vies for dumbest member of Congress on a daily basis
showed off her talents at a recent gathering
Empty G – seen here grabbing
a cardboard cutout of Dear Donny by the pussy.
(This is not Photoshopped; Lordy, there’s video)
Meanwhile,
down in festering fascist Ron DuhSantis’ Florida, Gollum Trump is desperately
trying to either get himself locked up for the remainder of his unnatural life,
or reacquire his precious stolen documents. Trump, who has been relentless in
his insane attacks on Special Counsel Jack Smith – most recently calling Smith a
“sick and deranged sleazebag” – has gone beyond insane, not to mention stupid,
in yet another screed on his flailing fake Twitter knock-off (even though Twitter’s
new owner deemed Trump’s rhetoric dishonest, racist, hateful and dangerous
enough to warrant having his Twitter account reinstated). WARNING: Not Safe For
Reality
Mr. CAPLOCK regales
himself and his idiot fanbase/cult with tales from the crypt.
Does he seem a little upset to you? HE SEEMS A LITTLE UPSET TO ME!!!
Obviously,
not one word of the above Fake-Twitter tantrum had even a distant view of the
truth, but like a fictional thief demanding the return of “his” precious Ring,
Trump is sniveling, whining and lying.
Where are my precioussss
documents?
With
any luck Trump and his preciousssss boxes will end up in the Cracks of Doom.
And
what review of revulsion would be complete without the man who overpaid for
Twitter, and beyond all nightmares of imagination, made Twitter even worse than
ever – Elon Musk, who continues his downward spiral,
becoming more Trump-like by the minute
Dr. Elon
Musk had a busy week. First, even though he
relinquished his position as Twitter CEO, somehow the accounts of one of Musk’s
major antagonists were suddenly, and without reason removed from Twitter. Then,
Twitter’s Colorado landlord evicted the increasingly disgraced and decreasingly
profitable social media ogre from their headquarters in Boulder for failure to
pay rent. Twitter has also been stiffing contractors, which reminds me of
another all-too-wealthy-and-too-little-deserving douchebag hungry for power and
unable to STFU.
My brain hurts.
Freak
out…
I
mean, Peace Out.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught
For The Day.
In a futile and stupid
gesture meant to deflect attention away from his impending cavalcade of trials,
Donald Trump took to the streets of New York City to finally follow through on
his 2016 election season suggestion to “stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and
shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters.”
After making bad on
his promise, The Defendant fled to a rally of mindless supporters
Millions of Trump
supporters, many of whom have non-whole-number IQs couldn’t care less if their
guy grabbed their mothers by the pussy, incited an insurrection against the government
of the United States, was found liable for sexual abuse, got indicted
repeatedly for heinous, treasonesque crimes or nuked California. They welcomed
their hero with open arms and closed minds. Authorities were hesitant to
re-arrest the miscreant as most of those in attendance were heavily armed and
meagerly brained.
To quote the title of one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs: Everything Is Broken, not just the news, though the following BROKEN NEWS bulletin is more broken than usual. In preparing this story for your, let's call it pleasure, we could not have foreseen the fact that professional defendant Donald Trump (aka Josef Stallin') might have to delay his court appearance because, as of this posting, he has not found a lawyer to stand by his side for today's historic arraignment. We at Paying Attention™ are always here to help, and every American citizen, even one who despises everything about this country that is not him, deserves, and the Constitution guarantees, the right to legal representation (until the Extreme Court ends this right, which they are poised to
consider). In this vein, we offer the following advice: better call Saul.
“This indictment was
voted on by a grand jury of citizens in the Southern District of Florida, and I
invite everyone to read it in full to understand the scope and the gravity of
the crimes charged.”* Special
Counsel Jack Smith, June 9, 2023
“We can’t have someone in the Oval Office who doesn’t
understand the meaning of the word confidential or classified [that’s two
words, numbnuts, but who’s counting – obviously not you].” Special Asshole Donald
Trump, September 6, 2016
“If even half of
[what is laid out in the indictment] is true, he’s toast” Long-time Trump sycophant Bill Barr, June 11, 2023
Jill Wine-Banks, May 20, 2023
Disgraced,
twice-impeached, twice-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and
Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president Donald Toast is scheduled to be
arraigned again today in Florida, having been indicted on 37 counts including
obstruction of justice and violations of the Espionage Act. Don’t try this at
home, even if you live at a garish golf resort with your own name plastered all
over it.
Typically,
defendants are presumed innocent until proven guilty, but Trump has waived that
presumption since we have all seen him criming all over the fucking place for the better part of a decade (ignoring in the current context all the known crimes he committed, and was found guilty
of, prior to that).
Click image to enlarge
Per the indictment,
the charges against Trump carry a maximum of up to 22 years in prison, presumably with time off for good behavior, so probably more like 25-30 years. While this is
painfully insufficient for a lifelong criminal, it should protect our country from any more of his
malignant malarkey. That is, unless of course, he is elected president in 2024. Unfortunately,
the theoretically randomly-assigned judge in this case – Aileen Cannon – was
appointed by Trump. Cannon has already been reprimanded and ridiculed for
putting her unqualified thumb on the scales of justice in service to Trump (she
attempted to derail the entire special counsel investigation), and now holds
the fate of our democracy in her injudicious hands.
Besides having his own
personal, already-proven-to-be-biased judge overseeing this case, it seems that Trump's primary defense will be, “But Hillary's emails!!!” and Dick Nixon’s ignominious, “If the president does it then it is not illegal.”
Fortunately for Trump, Jack Ruby is no longer with us; Ruby shot Oswald for
assassinating JFK, would he do the same to Trump for assassinating America?
Once again, we will
be denied the innocent-until-proven-guilty pleasure of seeing Trump’s mugshot. Apparently, the law does not
apply equally to every American. That is why God made Photoshop.
Tomorrow, this
hateful, criminal, arrogant narcissist will turn 77 years of age. Let us all
join together in wishing him a crappy birthday.
_____________________________________________________ * If you only read one federal indictment this year,
make it this one.
When he left the White
House, Trump ordered that dozens – if not hundreds – of boxes not belonging to
him be shipped to Mor-on-Lago, where they were stored in a ballroom, a
bathroom, a shower, his private office, along with his bedroom and a storage
room, often being shifted from room to room in order to keep them hidden from
authorities, and from his own lawyers.
There’s
hardly enough room for Trump to go potty and flush his toilet 10 or 15 times. I
guess he uses a different toilet for posting his ravings on his failing,
fake-Twitter/Truth Social account.
To be fair, given
his penchant for flushing documents down the toilet, it makes sense that Trump
would keep thousands of incriminating documents in such a convenient location.
Enjoy
paragraph #54 from the indictment:
Also,
according to the indictment, “The classified documents Trump stored in his
boxes included information regarding defense and weapons capabilities of both
the United States and foreign countries.”
There
is at least one stolen document containing classified information about America’s
nuclear weaponry and another country’s nuclear capability, as well as other
documents detailing top-secret US
operations that require special clearances “on a need-to-know basis”, which is beyond a
top-secret clearance. All of this scattered throughout the ludicrously ostentatious
clown palace that is Mor-on Lago. And why haven’t they searched all of Trump’s
other properties…and Ivana’s golf course burial site?
It is entirely
possible that some of the documents Trump stole are so sensitive, so vital to
our nation’s security that they cannot even be referred to as part of the case
against him.
In 2021 it was reported that the United States
lost a larger than normal number of intelligence agents – either outed or
killed – across the globe. Coincidence?
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
