Schmuck Of The Decade*

Cloudy With A Chance Of Musk

June 20, 2023

It has become increasingly difficult to avoid knowing more than anyone would wish to know about Tesla CEO, and now loud owner of Twitter, Elon Musk. He spreads himself so thickly over social media that his stomach-churning escapades have become inescapable.

Since environmental issues have always been my number one concern, I was a big fan of the South African stupid genius, but now I see he is just an embarrassment and social media whore looking out for no one but himself and his fortune.

So let's run down (better yet, run over) the company that über-douchebag Elon Mush has been keeping.

First, he met with Trump shortly after he was Electoral Colleged into the White House, claiming it was to school Trump on renewables. I believed it then, but now it seems as though being a fascist douchebag is his main squeeze and doing anything decent for the environment is just his side hustle.

Bannon, Mush and Trump: three people you wouldn’t want to meet

in a dark alley, or well-lit room, or any other fucking place

After Mush grossly overpaid for Twitter (relying in part on Saudi funding) in order to aid and abet fascists, Nazis, Holocaust deniers, white supremacists and their fellow conspiracy-theory whack-jobs, he took mania into his own hands and claimed that mega-philanthropist George Soros “hates humanity.” Not satisfied that he had made his point, the Head Twit claimed there was no proof that one of our heroic mass shooters – you may remember the one who shot up a mall in Texas who was covered in tattoos featuring a swastika and an SS symbol – was a white supremacist. 

Mush was also seen hanging with Saudi judge, jury and most notably, executioner Mohamed bin Salman's BFF Jared Kushner at the World Cup final in a lovely place called Qatar.

He told people to vote Ratpublican in 2022 and advocated for Kevin McQarthy’s speakership. 

More recently Elon was seen cozying up to international man-about-fascism Rupert Murdoch at the Super Bowl.

Mush and fellow billionaire asshole Murdoch

His latest confab was with none other than human gum-stuck-to-the-bottom-of-a-leper's-shoe Ted Cruz.

As the saying goes, a man is known by the company he creeps…or the creeps who keep him company...or something like that.

Even without palling around with some of the biggest assholes on the planet, Mush does pretty well on his own. He is an anti-union, pro-fascist, anti-Semitic, homophobic narcissist who did some decent things that accidentally help the planet.

I am not saying the following to be rude or mean, just accurate. Elon Mush is one seriously fucked up motherfucker.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Decade*. Fuck yeah.

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*To be fair, Mush is still probably only a close second to DJ Trump. But he's moving up the charts. With a bullet.