What's In a Number?

Where Were You When The Whites Went Out?

The Sixties
February 27, 2016

I was alive in the 1960s. How about you? I even remember some of it. How about you? Now I am in my own 60s. All of the Republican’t presidential candidates except Rubio and Cruz are at least 63. As is Hillary Clinton. Bernie Sanders can only see his 60s in the rear view mirror.

My first politically related memory was JFK’s assassination. Some years later I was made to stand out in the hallway in junior high school for refusing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance during the Vietnam War. I clearly remember despising Richard Nixon in 1968 and later reveling in the Watergate hearings in 1973.

I bring all of this up because I want to take a brief (I promise) look at what Clinton and Sanders were doing in the 1960s. We already know that Ben Carson was stabbing at people and going after his mother with a hammer. I neither know nor care what John Kasich was doing and I will assume that Chrump was busy staying out of the military using the Entitlement Deferment. His latest issue is threatening to re-work the First Amendment so he can sue the media for saying mean things about him. That and his game-changing endorsements from raging bully Chris Christie, flaming bigot/ex-KKK Grand Wizard David Duke and Kim Jong-un’s BFF Dennis Rodman. All hail The Chrump.

Bernie Sanders, age 20, became active in the University of Chicago chapter of the Congress of Racial Equality after arriving in Chicago in the fall of 1961 and before the academic year ended was voted the group's chairman. In January 1962 he took part in a 15-day sit in against segregated accommodation. Another man detained with Sanders in 1963 at a demonstration against school segregation says Bernie was one of tiny number of white activists. Two weeks later Sanders joined the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, where Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his "I Have a Dream" speech. Though civil rights legend Congressman John Lewis somewhat crossly claimed that he never saw Bernie during his illustrious time fighting for equality, but he did see Hillary, there is photographic proof of Bernie’s involvement in the movement. It seems though that Clinton was not always enamored of the Civil Rights Movement.

Sanders being arrested during civil rights protest in Chicago 1963

Hillary Clinton spoke candidly about her political roots in a 1996 NPR interview. She worked on Barry Goldwater’s 1964 presidential campaign at age 18. The Civil Rights Act was passed that year and Goldwater, who voted against it, advocated repealing the landmark legislation that established as law the right of people of color, women, religious minorities, and other groups to be free from discrimination. Goldwater promoted a segregation platform all the way to the 1964 Republican National Convention in San Francisco and railed against labor unions and welfare. Goldwater was of course crushed by Lyndon Johnson that year. While Clinton’s teenage support could be considered a youthful indiscretion, her nostalgic look back at Goldwater’s radical politics in 1996 is more difficult to defend.

Oh, and there's this...



Clinton said in 1996, “I feel like my political beliefs are rooted in the conservatism that I was raised with. I don’t recognize this new brand of Republicanism that is afoot now, which I consider to be very reactionary, not conservative in many respects. I am very proud that I was a Goldwater girl.” More recently she told us that she values the advice of 1960s secretary of State Henry Kissinger. Said Sanders, “I happen to believe that Henry Kissinger was one of the most destructive secretaries of State in the modern history of this country.” Bernie Sanders does not seem to be particularly fond of Henry Kissinger. How about you?

Me? I. Mangrey. Gotta love the 60s.

A Freaky Thing is Happening on The Way To The Forum

A Night at The Movies

Trailing The Campaign
February 26, 2016

A Chrumpwork Orange

Up until a few months ago I would never ever spend more than a fraction of a second with the sight or sound of Donald Chrump assaulting my senses. Never. Not for any reason. The slightest hint would trigger an automatic almost total shutdown of all sensory apparatus, with the singular exception of one finger – no not that finger – the one that operates the Mute and/or Channel Up/Down button on the remote.

Now, thanks to the runaway stupidity of a significant portion of the American electorate, he is unavoidable to anyone who spends any amount of time watching the perpetual food fight that passes for the Republican’t primaries. There have been other distractions like the lovable lump of silly putty that is Ben Carson, or the hilarious comic stylings of Rick Perry, the Forrest Gump-like vulnerability of J.E.B. or the zany psycho-babble of Ted Cruz. But none of that can hold a candle  Chrump, whatever else he may be, and he surely is many other things – none of them having any redeeming social value – he is a spectacle.

I. Malex

I expect that I am not alone in feeling like Alex in A Clockwork Orange – the drug-addled, violent, twisted young criminal who rapes a woman while singing “Singing in the Rain” – after he was taken into custody. Once in the hands of the authorities Alex is subjected to “aversion therapy”, which includes having his eyes are forcibly kept open so he cannot avoid being inundated with horrifying images meant to break his spirit and alter his personality. The main difference here is that most of us represent the reasonable side of human nature while the image we are forced to endure exhibits the very worst aspects of the human condition – our sophomoric, bigoted, sociopathic, plastic, Mr. Hyde/Fux News side. The irony is that a steady diet of Chrump is changing us from relatively normal human beings into whatever it is that Chrump is portraying and encouraging in our society, and Donald Chrump is Alex incarnate. I’m not saying he is a rapist or a criminal. I have no way of knowing that for certain, but it did need to be said. I’m sure he’s a very nice person in real life. Maybe one day he will come to the conclusion that running for president is real life, not reality television. And then the Earth will fall out of its orbit and we will all be better off.
Monsters, Inc.

Like Drs. Jekyll and Frankenstein the Republican’t party is helpless to stop their creation. All three experiments-gone-bad unleashed horrors. Only one of them though is technically not a fictitious characters. 

Mr. Hyde – all in for Chrump and Frankenstein’s Chrumpster – still undecided

While we’re on the subject of horrifying creations, Raphael Cruz, Sr. recently informed us that God told his daughter-in-law that Raphael Jr. – or Ted as he prefers to be called – was His choice to be president. Unfortunately, most of God’s most fervent devotees have no taste for the man whose voice sounds like a twangy banjo from Deliverance. It seems they instead prefer the unreligious, repeatedly divorced (not to mention bankrupt), greedy, lying, hate monger gambling magnate with a God complex who lusts after his own daughter and wants to kill someone to prove just how popular he is. 

Play it Ted

Why does Chrump keep talking about murdering people? A few weeks ago he said, "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK? It's, like, incredible.” That’s one word for it I suppose. After his yuuuuuge win in Nevada he bellowed, “Even the really dishonest press says Trump’s people are the most incredible. Sixty-eight percent would not leave under any circumstances. I think that means murder. I think it means anything.” Anybody know how many Commandments the pride of the evangelicals breaks every day? I guess that depends on whether coveting one’s daughter is as good as coveting one’s neighbor’s wife. The Good News for all those ersatz evangelicals is that in public Chrump still pretends to believe that the Bible is a better book than The Art of The Deal. Such a humble man.

Chrump also said of one of the key demographics beefing up his numbers, “We won the poorly educated. I love the poorly educated.” This is the first thing this yahoo has said that was even half true or made any damn sense.

On a lighter note…Thingtime For Hitler

For some reason all this talk of monsters and miscreants brings to mind a news item I came across the other day: A new book contains secret diaries left by Hitler’s doctor which testify to Hitler’s doctor Theodor Morell left detailed secret diaries.Hitler’s doctor Theodor Morell left detailed secret diaries.the fact that not only did Der Fucker have one less testicle than the average pair, but that shriveled little walnut was apparently attached to a deformed micro-penis to boot.

I. Mangrey on the campaign trail. Emphasis on the paign.

Mental Ben Strikes Again

Correcting the record

Once a year we here at Paying Attention make a mistake or two. Last week we predicted that the tired and tiresome Ben Carson would bow out of the race after what our polling indicated would be a miserable showing in South Carolina. We regret the error, but we delight in what might be our last chance to satirically separate Dr. Carson from his political career…such as it was. Also we were a bit off on our math. It seems we completely forgot the completely forgettable John Kasich. Oops.

Premature Elimination

The Nevada Caucuses
February 23, 2016

I was dead certain that Sleepy Ben Carson would pack up his shit and go home after being drubbed in South Carolina. I was correct that he would end up in last place or worse, but he somehow decided that he should stay in the race. His debate performances, even during the brief moments when he manages to pry his eyes open, are more tranquillizing than Ambien. Bill Cosby wishes he had Ben Carson along as a wing man for all those years.

Carson’s numbers are shown in decimal form – on the wrong side of the decimal. He grasps the issues like a man fishing with his bare hands. What did I miss? What overly moneyed imbecile is bankrolling this human sedative?

Heal – Inspire – Revive is what Ben tells himself every morning.
It’s clearly not working.

The man who insists that the Great Pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain warned a room full of Jews, after sharing his version of their history, to beware of hummus. Carson, hopefully while blacked out again, said he thought Muslims could integrate into the United States “only if they're schizophrenic.” I have to wonder if he knows that term doesn’t mean they are filled with grain like the Pyramids.

Mental Ben said that the Holocaust would have been much less annoying if people in Nazi Germany been armed. He believes that one dead body with bullet holes is not as bad as taking away the Second Amendment. As if anyone ever mentioned that as an option. He bravely told others to attack gunmen in active shooter situations, “I would say, ‘Hey guys, everybody attack him. He may shoot me, but he can’t get us all.’”  He later told us that he had direct experience in just such circumstances in the past. Except that his answer when his time came, was to point the shooter to what he thought was a more lucrative target. Very brave. Are all brain surgeons this amazing outside the operating room?

While waiting to see just how poorly he would do in South Carolina the Brainless Surgeon, who Rupert Murdoch said would be a “real black president”, told an interviewer, “The fact of the matter is, you know, he did not grow up in – in black America. He grew up in white America. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just that when a claim is made that he represents the black experience, it’s just not true.” Adding, “Remember now, I’ve been around for 64 years, you know. I’ve had a chance to see what real racism is."

Maybe finishing sixth out of five in Nevada will finally convince Grain Man to call it quits and go home to watch Judge Wapner.

I. Mangrey reporting. My brain hurts, but please don’t tell Dr. Ben that.

Don & Ted's Big Adventure

A Tale of Two Shitties

On The Road
February 21, 2016

Marco Rubio squirmed into second place in South Carolina by the slimmest of margins. He rivaled Cruz for a far-behind-the-also-ran. Rubio has now won all three primaries by not coming in first. In honor of his showing I will talk about the other two candidates atop the Field of Screams.

Chrump’s Comb-Around

Having taken spray “tanning”, the comb-over and presidential primaries to unimagined places, Donald Chrump continues to crush the competition like the Hulk traipsing through an ant colony. He next takes his quest for perpetual public attention on to Las Vegas.

His latest act of hatred and sheer dishonesty came at the expense of Barack Obama having chosen not to disrupt the funeral of Antonin Scalia by meeting privately with the wife and son of the recently departed jurist. Knowing no bounds, Chrump’s ignorance saw him tweet, “I wonder if President Obama would have attended the funeral of Justice Scalia if it were held in a Mosque.”

How do you think we feel?

Another of Trump’s new inspirational messages is that he will bring back waterboarding and techniques that are ‘‘so much worse’’ and ‘‘much stronger’’ once he is president. Chrump lied, ‘‘Don’t tell me it doesn’t work – torture works. Okay, folks? …Believe me, it works. Okay?’’ And he called Ted Cruz a “pussy” for not loving torture enough. I feel certain that waterboarding will become a national pastime if Mr. Chrump is elected. I intend to try it on myself at that point.

At least Chrump won’t be appointed by the Supreme Court now that Scalia has permanently recused himself and there are only eight justices. 

The Truth, The Whole Truth And Mostly Lies

Asked if he ever lied to the American people, congenital liar Chrump replied, “I don’t lie, I mean I don’t lie. In fact, if anything, I’m so truthful that it gets me in trouble, OK? They say I’m too truthful. And, no I don’t lie. I don’t lie. I’m self-funding my campaign. I tell the truth.” I’m pretty sure being overly truthful is not the primary issue that has gotten him into trouble. Yes he is a little too honest about his bigotry, but hey, lots of Americans apparently love that kind of talk. But I happen to believe it is the bigotry itself (among countless other things) that has caused trouble for the Orange One. That and the fact that he has been caught lying far more than he has been caught telling the truth.

Picture of Chrump lying

 Ted Cruz Bundy 

Just before the South Carolina primary Ted Cruz went full Bundy. Throwing his lot in with Nevada’s freeloader/secessionist Cliven Bundy (armed insurrectionist millionaire who refused to pay grazing fees to the federal government, and challenged the feds to a shoot-out in 2014) and Sons (fresh off their heroic take-over of an undefended Oregon bird sanctuary) – all safely behind bars finally, Cruz promised the people of Nevada he would sell lands held in the public trust by the federal government to private parties. Bundy won’t even pay for grazing. Why would he give you one red cent for what he already thinks is his? The junior senator from Texas vowed to sell-off or give away the state’s national parks, national forests, national monuments, and other public lands. Rumor has it he plans to sell off the Viet Nam Veterans Memorial, the Smithsonian, California and New York on day one.

Sovereign Citizen Ted?

 

“If you trust me with your vote,” says Cruz in the Nevada ad, “I will fight day and night to return full control of Nevada’s lands to its rightful owners, its citizens.” He might not have added, “I will help Nevada or any other state to secede from the Union if they so desire. We must throw off the yoke of this oppressive government I want you to let me lead. Except New York I will have nothing to do with those heathens. God bless me and God bless the United States of America. I have spoken.”

The Wizard of Cruz: Pay no attention to that scam behind the curtain.

Cruz recently whined, “One of the problems of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton’s foreign policy and sadly too many establishment Republicans in Washington is they focus on issues unrelated to protecting this country. They focus on nation building; they focus on toppling governments to promote democracy and it ends up undermining our national security.” This of course describes nothing so well as it does the neocon/Bush/Cheney legacy in the Middle East. Yes, Obama has continued too much of this horrific nonsense, but can you imagine what this slime ball would do from the Oval Office? Please don’t try. I’m sorry I even brought it up.

Cruz crisscrosses the country.

I. Mangrey tickling the keys.

And Then There Were Five (Maybe Four)

Sunday Morning's Headline:

The Doctor Is Out

UPDATE:
February 21, 2016 7:00am

It was not Ben Carson who announced he is stepping aside, though his campaign is as viable as the ancient grain that fills the Great Pyramids of Egypt. However, another valiant doofus has made his way to the primary exit.

Was this J.E.B. gunning for America? Should we be
worried now that he has been shunned into obscurity?

Nomination Abomination

Term Limitations

Hanging in the Wind
February 17, 2016

So let me get this straight. George W. Bush’s illegally obtained presidency didn’t begin until September 12, 2001, conveniently one day after he read My Pet Goat to a classroom full of children while the attack he was warned about ad nauseum, and chose to ignore, happened 8½ months after he was “inaugurated”. Have I got that right? That is essentially what J.E.B., who says his idiot brother kept us safe from terror attacks, is telling us. For some reason he doesn’t include the worst terror attack ever on American soil. I suppose I understand; after all, who would want something like sat-around-like-an-idiot-while-the-naton-was-attacked-while-I-was-in-charge on their record. Other than Nero I mean.

Of course it is not only J.E.B. peddling this poo, every Republican’t is singing the same off-key refrain. Robotic rube Marco Rubio said during the recent debate in South Carolina, “The World Trade Center came down because Bill Clinton didn’t kill Osama bin Laden when he had a chance to kill him.” Just for the record neither did Bush, who six months after 9/11 (presumably still during his “presidency” – can’t say I am at all sure when these things start and stop anymore, and with all of Bush’s vacationing he might have been on sabbatical at the time) said, “Who knows if he’s hiding in some cave or not. …I don’t know where he is. I really just don’t spend that much time on him, to be honest with you.” And all this despite the fact that Clinton’s people warned Bush/Cheney that they would be focusing on bin Laden and al Queda 24/7 and Bush/Cheney told them to take a hike. How soon they forget.

I am wasting your valuable time with all of this because of its connection to more current events. Today these same yahoos are acting as if Obama’s term ends 11 months before his successor is inaugurated and that he should not even think about nominating a replacement for Scalia. Do I have that right? Or am I missing something? And of course it was fine for St. Ronny to nominate someone to the Supreme Court 12 months before he left office. Even Ben Carson, in between blackouts, said he didn’t think Republican’ts would be stalling if one of them was currently in the White House. As my people are known to say, “Never again.”

Appoint Well Taken

In any event, Obama – a Constitutional scholar – probably knows what to do even though he is not an “originalist” like some people we knew. If he was such a person he would probably say that appointing a replacement for an ex-justice was a duty not a choice. I believe Obama should nominate another woman, preferably a black woman. A most fitting nominee would be noted attorney, law professor and one-time attorney-adviser to Clarence Thomas, who is probably wandering aimlessly around Washington with no idea what he is supposed to do or think. Obama should chose a woman who is already familiar with the vetting and confirmation processes - Anita Hill. Now that’s what I would call justice.

Anita Hill: She knows Clarence Thomas but
she is no Clarence Thomas…fortunately

Sure she is unlikely to be confirmed. So is anyone Obama nominates, as has been the case since he was inaugurated. Yes, a few managed to sneak their way through, but almost every single appointment was either vehemently challenged or ignored as evidenced by the large number of vacancies in federal courts to this day.

I. Mangrey asking the questions.

I Don't Do Twitter, But Here's a Dick Pic

Sorry in advance if you are offended.



Too Soon?

It Couldn’t Have Happened To A Nastier Guy

Big Bend, Texas

February 14, 2016

I acknowledge and fully agree that the passing of a fellow human being should be greeted with sadness and kind words. On this day I will have to leave that to others. My sadness at the loss of a human life cannot hold a candle to the lovely thought of never again having to write about the horrible words and deeds of one Antonin Scalia.

Scalia, say it loud and it’s sirens blaring.
Say it soft and it’s almost like swearing.
Scalia, we just lost that douchebag Scalia.

From the unprecedented and disastrous Bush v. Gore decision to stop counting votes in the presidential election of 2000 to the deadly 2008 Heller v. District of Columbia decision to ignore the first half of the Second Amendment, to the merely disastrous 2010 Citizens United v. FEC decision to ensure that money overpowered the individual in our electoral process, to last week’s supremely unprecedented and despicable interference with the Obama administration’s efforts to protect the environment, Scalia’s mark (i.e., stain) will be on this nation for many years to come. Many knew him as a brilliant jurist. Being brilliant does not however excuse so much of Scalia’s unseemly behavior or injurious judicial record.
 
The self-proclaimed guardian of the original intent of all our founding fathers. He and he alone knows the very thoughts of the framers of the Constitution even though they could barely agree with themselves let alone each other on so many issues and occasions. For example, Scalia knew that, despite the fact that homosexuality existed since the first humans walked upright, our founding fathers never intended for same sex marriage to be legal. And at the same time Scalia knew that those same men – and they were of course all men – somehow envisioned today’s assault rifles despite the fact that the only firearms they experienced while crafting the Second Amendment were muskets and cannons. And don’t even get me started on the rest of that amendment. Oh, and about all those men back then – they surely never envisioned a woman sitting on the Supreme Court…or any other court…or owning property…or voting.

The Constitution has always been and was at least by some of its framers considered to be a living document meant to grow and mature with the times. I did not begrudge Scalia or anyone interpreting the Constitution for whatever reason, or in whatever way, but I did begrudge him – or anyone – telling me what my interpretation should be. Thanks to Scalia we were treated to this paraphrase of his words from Marco Rubio in last night’s debate: “The Constitution is not a living and breathing document. It is to be interpreted as originally meant.” Wrong as usual Marco. The Constitution is living and breathing. Antonin Scalia at long last is not.

I. Mangrey reporting.

The Buckshot Stops Here

The Birdshot Heard Round The World 

The editorial board here at Paying Attention has decided to bring you a golden oldie, a freaky flashback – literally a blast from the past. On February 11, 2006 one Richard Bruce Cheney, or as most folks know him – Dick – went on an innocent drinking/hunting trip with a good friend. The trip ended in near disaster. I’ll let good friend and cohort S. Gallop take it from here with the story (more or less) as he told it nine years ago this week…  

Cheney Bags Birds And Blasts Buckshot Into Buddy's Brain

 

Corpus Christi, TX

February 13, 2006

This weekend Dick Cheney was enjoying his favorite pastime - hunting defenseless, essentially caged birds.  It should come as no surprise that the man who pushed for pro-torture legislation takes pleasure in this type of leisure pursuit. It is surprising however that Mr. Cheney chose not to waterboard the poor fowl, certainly this would have less traumatic for his hunting buddy as we will see shortly.  Either way it is much more enjoyable than shooting fish in a barrel for a man like Cheney who loves to be chauffeured from bird to bird and then hobble around with his rifle in one hand and his cane in the other, determined to enjoy life to the fullest (in this case by murdering harmless and defenseless little creatures for the fun of it) before his semi-bionic heart explodes into a million pieces. At least this activity provides the illusion that the birds are actually live, wild animals (sort of like Cheney himself).  No matter that these poor birds are starved for several weeks with fishing weights strapped to their legs, have just the right percentage of their feathers coated with crude oil rendering them all-but-flightless and are basically raised as captives in a fenced in area on the ranch of a prominent neo-conservative. 

Unfortunately, on this particular occasion, Cheney did not have Antonin Scalia accompanying him.  This is believed to be because there were no active court cases involving Cheney on which Scalia might be ruling.  Instead, Cheney was “hunting” with Harry Whittington, an Austin lawyer and Bush appointee who presumably was helping Cheney with his legal defense in the Valerie Plame case.  Testimony from Lewis I “Scooter” Libby that Cheney told him to out Plame was made public just days before this “hunting” trip.   Valerie Plame was an undercover CIA expert on Middle East WMDs whose identity was made public as retaliation against her husband and life-long Republican, Joseph Wilson who had the nerve to speak out against certain actions (lies actually) by the administration.  It is also possible that Whittington was helping Cheney with other issues since he serves on the Texas state Funeral Services Commission.  It is not actually know in which capacity Whittington was invited to join Cheney in his sporting foray.  It is suspected that the unfortunate Whittington may have given the Veep some unacceptable advice at just the wrong moment, causing the ever-unstable Cheney to clutch at his chest while forgetting momentarily that he was wielding a shotgun, which unfortunately discharged into the face and upper body of the unwitting Whittington.   

Harry “The Target” Whittington

As one would expect, the Vice-president not only blamed his victim for the alleged mishap but, neglected to report the incident to authorities until well into the day after the shooting.  It is believed that Cheney needed this time to consult with lawyers on whether it would be best to simply dispose of the body or if there was some way to spin the whole event to make it look benign or perhaps even a positive situation to prove what a manly, take-charge kind of guy Cheney really is.  Once it was determined that Whittington should be allowed to live and once the vice president had sobered up enough to appear in public, Cheney decided to have his personal medical team bring Whittington back to consciousness and a level of awareness and physical ability wherein he could sign a series of waivers absolving Cheney of any responsibility in the alleged incident.  In fact, the incident remained a secret until Katharine Armstrong, the owner of the ranch told a local paper of the occurrence.  Fortunately Mr. Cheney was unarmed when he heard that Armstrong “spilled the beans to those M*&%$# F$#%&s in the F&%$ing media.”

After all was said and done Mr. Whittington made a full apology to Cheney and promised never to disrupt his buckshot with his pathetic face again no matter how much he wanted to relive what Whittington called “one of the most exhilarating moments of my life. I cannot thank my good friend – Mr. Cheney sir – for sharing so unselfishly his precious buckshot with my face. He could have chosen any face to shoot up but it was mine, in the end that won the lottery. Again I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused Mr. Cheney sir. Of that I am simply ashamed.”

Although it is certainly tragic that a relatively innocent person has been shot, we all knew it was only a matter of time before Cheney started shooting people personally.  He was perhaps the single most determined, vocal and dishonest supporter of the illegal invasion of Iraq and has been very jealous of all those lucky soldiers in Iraq who get to shoot, torture and generally kick ass every single day as they make their way through the merry minefield that is Iraq.  It is well known that Cheney now regrets having gotten those five deferments (apparently he thought it would look better on his record to have more deferments than DUIs) that kept him safely out of harm’s way during Viet Nam when it was his turn to serve the country he cares so much about.  He never realized what unbridled fun it could actually be to shoot ‘em up.  In fact, on a previous hunting-of-defenseless-birds outing, the Veep and his party of ten (none of whom were shot by Cheney as far as we know) killed 417 out of 500 hapless creatures before passing out drunk and exhausted while having Cheney’s medical team tend to their horrendously blistered trigger fingers.  Despite the apology Cheney has vowed never to go hunting with “that f*&^ing idiot Whittington who doesn’t even have the f%*&ing sense to keep his stupid f*&$ing face away from the business end of my f*&^ing rifle” again.

sg reporting

Don't miss the exciting New Hampshire primary coverage below.

Huuuge Night in New Hampshire

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Hampshire, New

Post Martin

Durham, New Hampshire
February 5, 2016

With Martin O’Malley finally giving up the ghost the two remaining Democratic candidates faced off one-on-one last night under the friendly umbrella of an MSNBC debate in New Hampshire. And just as when their Republican’t counterparts faced their own home-team moderators at Fux News, Clinton and Sanders spent a great deal of time whining about the unfair questions and threatening to walk away or invoke the Fifth Amendment. Oh wait. They did nothing of the sort. The two combatants engaged in an energetic debate on the issues of the day. At times they did to after each other in a very personal way. Take this brutal exchange for example:

TODD: Would you unite the party by trying to pick Senator Sanders as your running mate?

CLINTON: Well, I'm certainly going to unite the party, but I'm not -- I'm not getting ahead of myself. I think that would be a little bit presumptuous. If I'm so fortunate as to be the nominee, the first person I will call to talk to about where we go and how we get it done will be Senator Sanders.

TODD: Senator, would you consider the secretary?

SANDERS: I agree with what the secretary said. We shouldn't be getting ahead of ourselves. And as I have said many times, you know, sometimes in these campaigns, things get a little bit out of hand. I happen to respect the secretary very much, I hope it's mutual. And on our worst days, I think it is fair to say we are 100 times better than any Republican candidate.

CLINTON: That's true. That's true.

Ouch. How very un-presidential. Not a single childish remark. No name calling. Not one drop of blood. How does either of these wimps expect to win if they are not willing to decapitate their opponent at every opportunity? This does not bode well for our political discourse going forward. If Sanders emerges victorious from New Hampshire this could get even uglier. What’s next a big hug in South Carolina? Is that even legal if two people are not blood relatives? Can two consenting adults even approach each other without exercising their Second Amendment rights in the Confederate Palmetto State?

Things spiral out of control and get physical between Bernie and Hillary

Clinton did get a bit testy over Sanders continuing to question her ties to Wall Street money and influence. Sanders of course always is, or at least seems, a bit testy. Clinton claimed she is “a progressive that gets things done”. Sanders insisted that he is the true progressive. While it is true that Clinton is a progressive in relation to how far the Democratic Party has positioned itself since George McGovern was crushed by soon-to-avoid-being-impeached-by-resigning criminal Richard Nixon, Sanders has been a true, unabashed progressive - some might even call him a democratic socialist – since Nixon was vice president. Unfortunately they were still very adult about the whole thing and moved on easily after the tussle. When will they learn it’s all about the hate?

In the meantime Sanders, who trailed Clinton nationally by 30 points in December now finds himself down by two points. Two. Points. He is clearly unelectable.

I. Mangrey reporting. Strange you can believe in.

Caucus Much?

Iowa Lot

Somewhere between Iowa and New Hampshire

February 2, 2016

Iowa, home of high-fructose porn syrup, where hopelessly horrifying hater and Wicked Witch of Texas, Ted Cruz has emerged from the Iowa caucuses with what has been referred to as a victory. This begs the caveat that the Iowa caucuses have gained a reputation for predicting which Republican’t candidate will never become president – and probably not even get his party’s nomination. Like Mike Huckabee in 2008 and Rick Santorum in 2012. Remember them? Me neither. And Rick Santorum was a senator in my home state…I think.

Ted Cruz, out of costume

I hesitate to attribute Cruz’s purported success to anything having to do with Cruz himself. Lest we forget that the junior senator from Texas (home of George W. Bush and Rick Perry) has gained a reputation of his own, that of being one of the most unlikeable people ever to hold a senate seat let alone run for president. His own party despises him. Anyone who has ever spent any time with him is eternally grateful to be finished with the experience. His wife Heidi - Southwest region head for Goldman Sachs - appears to be a rare exception.

However, the likely reason for the Cruz victory had little to do with Cruz, his screechy voice, his grating demeanor, his disavowed Canadian citizenship or his tasteless last minute assault on his rivals, which included telling voters that Ben Carson had suspended his campaign. None of that really had any effect. No, it was the simple fact that Donald Chrump had gotten bored with all that winning.

Regardless of the reason, Cruz couldn’t have been more excited to win the battle for who-will-definitely-not-be-getting-elected. Or as J.E.B. - with arms thrust in the air like a newly-crowned champion replied after being told that he had succeeded in having low expectations for winning Iowa: “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.”

Such a kidd(broth)er

 

During his concession speech in Iowa The Chrump waxed pathetic about his love for the Hawkeye State saying, “Iowa, we love you. We thank you. You're special. We will be back many, many times. In fact, I think I might come here and buy a farm.” Am I the only one anxious to contribute money to help Mr. Chrump buy the farm in Iowa?

 

 



I. Mangrey reporting. Please please me oh yeah, like I please you.

BREAKING…

 

Hillary Clinton prevailed over Bernie Sanders…that is if you consider a 49.8 to 49.6 margin prevailing. Carpe Bernie.