Thursday, June 22, 2017

Lawyer, Rinse, Repeat

The Waste (formerly White) House

June 22, 2017
You know you have really made it as president (or “predisent” as Chrump’s lawyer spelled it) when you have to hire a team of lawyers to keep your presidential ass out of jail. You know it’s getting even better when everybody who works in your administration also has to hire their own lawyers. It is a veritable swarm of legal locusts descending on the Chrump Waste House. Layers and layers of lawyers. Chrump has lawyers, Jared has lawyers, Pence has a lawyer, Flynn, Manafort and others have lawyers, Jeff Sessions, the illegal Attorney General who perjured himself during his confirmation hearing has a lawyer. No one yet knows how many other Chrumpsters are or will be lawyering up in the near future. One of Chrump’s lawyers may have broken the law by telling all the poor suckers who signed on to work in the Chrump Waste House that they did not need lawyers – they do, as does he. But the feces-flavored icing on the Chrump poop-cake has to be that Donald Chrump’s lawyers have now hired lawyers. That has to be a very, very good sign. Believe me. Right now, thousands of lawyers are celebrating in the streets. How long before the lawyers’ lawyers need their own lawyers?
How galling it must be for such a big winner to see his whole giant con going up in a puff of Crayola-orange smoke. Though he tells himself and anyone who must listen what a tremendous job he is doing (and Chrump is, as always, very impressed with himself), he is surrounded by more lawyers than fawning fans. He hates his new “job”. He wants more than almost anything to walk away. His “friends” say Chrump hates living in Washington (which he does several days a week according to some sources). I imagine the feeling is mutual. It also appears that the demanding nature of the job he never actually wanted is taking its toll on his terrifically incredible stamina. This is quite surprising since the Orange Gas Cloud has handed over every duty of substance to Jared or somebody else. Mostly Jared. Chrump spends most of his non-tweeting hours golfing and screaming at the television. Since Chrump is neither interested in nor capable of actually being a president, one supposes that this is more a blessing than a curse. Unfortunately Chrump either appointed or nominated everyone around him so we are likely, in the vernacular…f*cked. According to one adviser, Chrump “doesn’t want to go down in history as a guy who tried and failed. He doesn’t want to be the second president in history to resign.” All I can say is take your pick Don – fail or resign…though you can have both. Or you could just fire Robert Mueller and let others do the rest. As usual.
All that being said, it should be noted that Chrump’s “hair” alone should have been sufficient evidence of his delusional over-inflated ego and proof that he should not only be disqualified from running for office, but from showing his fiber-topped face in public. But, it was not. Surely then, his Wrestlemania-like entrance into the 2016 race, highlighted by calling most Mexicans rapists and murderers should have caused most Americans to recoil in disgust. But, it did not. Then came a too-numerous-to-mention slow-motion barrage of unpardonable words and deeds culminating, some thought in his historic “grab ‘em by the pussy” expose, any of which, and surely the sum of which should have relegated the Orange Buffoon to history’s footnotes. But, they could not. So it is with an ocean of chagrin, yet a mountain of trepidation, born of watching this colossal conman sidestep one fatal landmine after another that I keep my fingers crossed to the point of stopping circulation and the risk of amputation that finally Chrump will be exposed for all to see and his darkening of our national door ended once and for all.
I. Mangrey reporting. Remember, if you don’t get pissed off, you will get pissed on.

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