Par For The Curse

Chrump: Fat and Furious

Where am I?
June 6, 2017

In the event that you are too mentally healthy to keep up with Chrump’s very busy cover-up, here is a quick recap of what has emerged from the shadows thus far: The alt-president, after asking his vice president and attorney general to leave the room, begged the head of the FBI to go easy on Russian operative/National Security Advisor Mike Flynn, saying to Comey, “I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go. He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go.” Many people call this obstructing justice. Many people. Some of the best people. But wait, there’s more.

Attempting to cover-up all the bases, Chrump then asked the Director of National Intelligence and the Director of the NSA to pretend the evidence of Russian interference and possible collusion with the Chrump campaign did not exist. He asked both men to tell the public that everything was fine, deny any Russia problem and say the FBI were losers and liars. Like Comey, they refused to play along. Like Comey, they kept notes of treasonous conversations with punks, perverts and presidents. Unlike Comey, both men still have their jobs.

As if all this winning was not enough for Der Furor, he also attempted to block the Office of Government Ethics from disclosing federal ethics rules waivers that the Chrump administration granted to hires from corporations and lobbying firms. So there you have it – perhaps the least surprising undertaking by the Chrump administration – a war on intelligence and ethics. I cannot predict who will tire of all this winning first, us or Chrump.

Tired of the fake media following his every insane and/or illegal move and then blabbing it all over town, the alt-president turned his substantial fast-food-filled tail and headed overseas to try his tiny little hand at foreign relations. First stop, Saudi Arabia, to kiss some serious oil-soaked ass. Next stop, Israel, where he told his hosts, “We just got back from the Middle East.” Then he made sure to finish his disclosure of classified information* by assuring the world that Israel was in fact the source of the intel he gave to the Russians during the few moments he was not bragging to them in the Oval Office about his tremendous election victory.

*But Chrump was not finished leaking like a crepe paper diaper. In between leaking about Israel, making the Pope visibly nauseated, hurling insults at Germany and literally pushing NATO around, Chrump leaked the location of nuclear submarines to murderous Filipino strongman Duterte. Chrump is particularly fond of Duterte because Duterte actually did go out and shoot people and did not lose any voters.

Doing nothing to make anything great…ever.
I am getting so much done you can’t believe it. Believe me.

I. Mangrey reporting.