Are you having trouble sustaining an election?
Important
information about an powerful drug for a serious condition afflicting hundreds
of millions of people the world over.
You
may already be one of the many who need the most remarkable wonder-drug
of all time - VOTEGRA. Not just for men. Not just for women. Millions of people all over the world are
suffering horribly and don't even know it. Millions more simply pretend that everything
is just fine. Others are, as we speak,
having their right to vote jeopardized by Republican't corporate backers and
government operatives desperate to keep non-Republican't voters from exercising
the most basic American right. One
human, one vote.
You
may actually believe you're healthy and happy and ready to vote in every way. Or you may simply be in denial. Don't let another election go by leaving you feeling angry, depressed, hopeless,
powerless, useless, out of step, unamerican or just plain stoopid. The FDA has waived all safety regulations and
precautions - and that's almost a stretch for them. This drug is too important to ignore any
longer although, given the current anti-vote environment, VOTEGRA may only be
available in Canada and Mexico between now and November 6, 2012.
Are you suffering from Electile Dysfunction?
Can't
get into the booth like you used to? Are
you voting blanks? Do you wish you could
do it more often and make it mean something? Is your chad just hanging there limp and
listless? Is your votecount shockingly
lower than you ever would have expected? Do you get the feeling your vote is about to
be suppressed? Is your once worthless
candidate now just a worthless has-been? Would you like to be able to throw a football
through a tire?
VOTEGRA won't just help you keep
an election for as long as you want. It
may even help you prop up a government of your choosing for years on end. You'll be fighting off those corporate whores
with a stick if you know what I mean. And
why shouldn't you be - you put the pedal to the metal and made your vote count
like you haven't been able to do for years. Who's your daddy now? With VOTEGRA your
election will be valid every time. No more just worriedly wishing you had an
election - VOTEGRA can make you feel like you could get that lever up and down
any time you want to. Don't wait any
longer - ask your doctor or senator if VOTEGRA is for you.
Electile
Dysfunction is no joke; we're voting for president for Pete's sake. You may have Electile Dysfunction and not even
know it. Do something about it before
it's too late and you end up with a wienie who strapped his dog to the roof of
his car, keeps millions of dollars hidden from the tax collector, led the
charge to outsource our jobs to China and who thinks YOU are a lazy moocher
sponging off the same government off of which he feels absolutely entitled to
sponge, in the White House. Oops, you
waited too long, but at least thanks to term limits George W. Bush has been
replaced. But nothing not quite as bad
lasts forever. Please don't let Electile
Dysfunction wreck our lives again.
Possible side effects of not using VOTEGRA include
runny candidates, listless legislators, long lines, spoiled votes, butterfly
ballots, purged voter rolls, Diebold, depression, another Depression, Citizens
United II (corporations are people and people are not), mor(m)ons, PATRIOT Act
IV, armed repression, cranio-rectal syndrome, un-Occupied Wall Street, Willard
Romney/Paul Ryan, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, short-circuited recounts, Ayn Rand,
another Antonin Scalia, another Clarence Thomas, another Supreme
Court-appointed president, Armageddon.
If your election lasts longer than four years contact
your arms dealer immediately.
VOTEGRA
Fixing Elections since 2005
brought to you by the 99% non-corporation
No comments:
Post a Comment