Electile Dysfunction Is Going Viral

Are you having trouble sustaining an election?

Important information about an powerful drug for a serious condition afflicting hundreds of millions of people the world over.

You may already be one of the many who need the most remarkable wonder-drug  of all time - VOTEGRA.  Not just for men.  Not just for women.  Millions of people all over the world are suffering horribly and don't even know it.  Millions more simply pretend that everything is just fine.  Others are, as we speak, having their right to vote jeopardized by Republican't corporate backers and government operatives desperate to keep non-Republican't voters from exercising the most basic American right.  One human, one vote.

You may actually believe you're healthy and happy and ready to vote in every way.  Or you may simply be in denial.  Don't let another election go by leaving you feeling angry, depressed, hopeless, powerless, useless, out of step, unamerican or just plain stoopid.  The FDA has waived all safety regulations and precautions - and that's almost a stretch for them.  This drug is too important to ignore any longer although, given the current anti-vote environment, VOTEGRA may only be available in Canada and Mexico between now and November 6, 2012.

 Are you suffering from Electile Dysfunction?

Can't get into the booth like you used to?  Are you voting blanks?  Do you wish you could do it more often and make it mean something?  Is your chad just hanging there limp and listless?  Is your votecount shockingly lower than you ever would have expected?  Do you get the feeling your vote is about to be suppressed?  Is your once worthless candidate now just a worthless has-been?  Would you like to be able to throw a football through a tire?

VOTEGRA won't just help you keep an election for as long as you want.  It may even help you prop up a government of your choosing for years on end.  You'll be fighting off those corporate whores with a stick if you know what I mean.  And why shouldn't you be - you put the pedal to the metal and made your vote count like you haven't been able to do for years. Who's your daddy now? With VOTEGRA your election will be valid every time.   No more just worriedly wishing you had an election - VOTEGRA can make you feel like you could get that lever up and down any time you want to.  Don't wait any longer - ask your doctor or senator if VOTEGRA is for you.

 

Electile Dysfunction is no joke; we're voting for president for Pete's sake.  You may have Electile Dysfunction and not even know it.  Do something about it before it's too late and you end up with a wienie who strapped his dog to the roof of his car, keeps millions of dollars hidden from the tax collector, led the charge to outsource our jobs to China and who thinks YOU are a lazy moocher sponging off the same government off of which he feels absolutely entitled to sponge, in the White House.  Oops, you waited too long, but at least thanks to term limits George W. Bush has been replaced.  But nothing not quite as bad lasts forever.  Please don't let Electile Dysfunction wreck our lives again.

Possible side effects of not using VOTEGRA include runny candidates, listless legislators, long lines, spoiled votes, butterfly ballots, purged voter rolls, Diebold, depression, another Depression, Citizens United II (corporations are people and people are not), mor(m)ons, PATRIOT Act IV, armed repression, cranio-rectal syndrome, un-Occupied Wall Street, Willard Romney/Paul Ryan, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, short-circuited recounts, Ayn Rand, another Antonin Scalia, another Clarence Thomas, another Supreme Court-appointed president, Armageddon.

If your election lasts longer than four years contact your arms dealer immediately.

 

VOTEGRA

Fixing Elections since 2005

brought to you by the 99% non-corporation