That’s Mighty Bigot Of You

Important News for Mor(m)ons Everywhere

Electionville, USA

September 29, 2012
 

                 “We will never have the media on our side, ever, in this country.

                  We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”

                                                                 Rick Santorum, September 15, 2012

 

I find it necessary to step out of character for a moment to say something nice about one of the more visible Republican’ts this election season - disgraced ex-Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, who remains the only Speaker of the House ever to be reprimanded for ethics violations (in a very bipartisan vote of 395 in favor, 28 opposed).  Gingrich is a pitiful excuse for a terrestrial life form; he is sucking up precious oxygen (and numerous other things by the look of it) while single-handedly expelling more CO₂ than a fleet of Hummers for no discernible purpose.  He is a philanderer and a bigot, arrogant beyond imagination.  Other than that he’s never killed anyone…as far as we know.  Yes, I know I was supposed to say something nice about Newt…all apologies.  I tried, but that’s as nice as it gets for Mr. Contract-On-America.

This vacuous gasbag, who in the past has referred to Obama as “uppity,” was recently on Fux News projecting proclaiming that Obama is “not a real president. He doesn’t do anything that presidents do, he doesn’t worry about any of the things the presidents do, but he has the White House, he has enormous power, and he’ll go down in history as the president, and I suspect that he’s pretty contemptuous of the rest of us...You have to wonder what he’s doing. I’m assuming that there’s some rhythm to Barack Obama that the rest of us don’t understand.” (actual quote)

First of all, that is about as accurate a description of one Newt Gingrich as you could ever hope to hear.  Second, I’m sure Newt never said such a thing about his buddy George W. Bush who, being appointed by the Supreme Court rather than elected by the voters, actually was NOT a real president.  George W. Bush took more time off (including an entire month leading up to his allowing of the 9/11 attacks) than any president in history and while he was “on the job” probably worked shorter days than any other.  Of course, given the way he presidented, that was clearly for the best.  Imagine where this country would have been had King George IV worked more than four hours a day.  Newt told Fux News addicts that Obama doesn’t think about the things real presidents think about because of his supreme arrogance.  What Newt was implying of course was that all lazy Mr. Obama thinks about is shuckin’ and jivin’, socialism and stickin’ it to Whitey.  And of course he’s got a rhythm that real folks just don’t understand.  Thanks for keepin’ it real, newt.

To all Willard Romney supporters:

I have some bad news for you.  I hate to even bring this up but I feel that loyalty to the truth outweighs any opinion I might have.  I know most of you Romney supporters do not love Mr. Romney.  I know that you are merely desperate to defeat his opponent by any means necessary…even if it means voting for Willard Romney.  And I know the most important reason you are willing to waste cast your vote for this brilliant tax avoider, investment scavenger and Chinese job creator.  There is just no way you can tolerate a black man cleaning up your party’s last “president.”  But this is no time to slack off on your obvious bigotry.

I know it’s hard to acknowledge publicly so I won’t expect you to, but we all know what’s going on here.  So it is in this context that I magnanimously share this shocking intel with you.  Willard’s biggest backer, at least the biggest one willing to openly admit his financial interest in putting Romney in the White House, is Sheldon Adelson.  Adelson, hmmmm, now what kind of name is that?  That would be the same Sheldon Adelson who previously offered up ungodly sums of money to ensure that Newt Gingrich would defeat Willard in the Republican’t primary.  There was just one fatal flaw in that plan and that fatal flaw was Newt Gingrich, the disgusting, arrogant troll who should have been laughed out of mainstream national politics decades ago. Unfortunately, Newt found that campaigning for president was a big money maker so, on he went, despite the fact that he is widely despised, disrespected and derided.  

So Newt was out and now Willard is in.  But that’s not my point.  My point is that while you have made peace with the fact that Romney himself is abhorrent to you, not just because he is generally abhorrent but in particular because he is a Mor(m)on, and you are willing to live with this otherwise-unacceptable-to-you fact.  What makes matters worse is that his doggedly determined king-maker Sheldon Adelson is, now brace yourselves... Sheldon Adelson is a Jew.  Just like…George Soros.  And all those other Jews Nixon hated so much.  I’m sorry to have to make you hear this so close to the election, but the truth is your choice is down to that damned ni…nice black guy Obama and the apparent Jew-lover Romney.

The choice you must make on election day 2012 has never been tougher.  I hope you have plenty of VOTEGRA.           

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and bigots staying home on Nov 6^th) invited.