Of Lemmings And Men

Out Of The Mouths Of Boobs

                    or

Cads Say The Darndest Things 

In The Company of Lemmings

September 14, 2012

The Obama re-election campaign, besides being up to their eyeballs in the rising swamp of Romney/Ryan lies, is busy answering the age-old question that must be answered by every president seeking a second term – Are you better off today than you were four years ago?  Many things go into answering this important question.  How are my finances?  How is my job security?  What is the state of our Union?  How many wars are we in?  Am I dreaming?  Can I remember anything that happened more than a week ago?  Is Willard Romney serious?  Does Dick Cheney still have a pulse and a hunting rifle?  These are all meaningful issues for each of us as we prepare to go to the polls, assuming we have not been legislated out of maintaining our right to cast a vote. 

 

The Lemming Party, known by many as the Republican’ts, continue their death-spiral toward the precipice, unfazed by morality, reality, common sense or even a vague notion of national, if not personal self-preservation.  But who am I to pass judgment on a bunch of seemingly happy small-brained mammals who can think of nothing…oh sorry, something made me want to stop typing just then…nothing better than following each other blindly over a cliff?  Who could blame them?  It seems so easy, so peaceful…once it’s all over.  Almost rapturous.  Oh the bliss the Republican’ts must experience each day.



Naturally, it’s the Republican’ts asking us if we’re better off than we were four years ago.  That’s because they’re the ones with the automatic lobotomies every time a Democrat gets elected president.  And they want us all to be just like them, except without all the wealth.  Then they do their Chicken Little routine, which includes the need to convince everyone else that the world began the day the Democrat entered the Oval Office, which they explain is why everything sucks.  But if we’re not buying that Subscription-to-Surreality they move on to: “Yes there was a world, but prior to (insert Democrat’s name) taking over everything was running smoothly.  Anything bad happening isn’t our fault,” they shout, “everything was fine before (insert Democrat’s name); don’t you remember?  Of course you do.”  And as expected all the faithful Fux News addicts agree.  “Yeah, everything was fine four years ago, we do remember.  It’s that damn Obama, he ruined everything, probably because he was borned in Kenya while Karl Marx was king or president or whatever.  I hate that damned ni…nice guy.”

The thing is, this time around it seems so damn simple even a lobotomized lemming should be able to notice.  Although by my calculations the combined IQ of the Republican’t convention was around 85.  I have a feeling that somehow, many Americans can still remember back before Obama had the audacity to actually win an election…using votes…without the Supreme Court’s help or the assurance everything-will-turn-out-well one has by owning the voting machines, especially while being black.  But there’s one unspoken factor that outweighs them all, and here’s the bottom line: George W. Bush is not president.  If that isn’t a quantum-step up I don’t know what is. 

Not just America, but the entire world is clearly better off now for that one single fact.  George W. Bush is not president.  That can’t be said often enough.  Sure there’s a world-wide recession – it’s actually a depression but nobody wants to admit it out loud (and clearly set into motion by Bush/Cheney); sure our men and women are being killed every day in Afghanistan and throughout the Middle East (in huge part due to Cheney/Bush policies) and most of the western U.S. (as Republicant’s attack firefighters’ unions) are burning in their own special way - BUT, George W. Bush is not president (though the cancer he implanted in this country continues to eat away at our internal organs).  And even the lying, misanthropic Republican’ts know this is big, because they won’t be seen in public with George and they go to great lengths to deny he ever existed.  Even his own brother can barely mention him without suffering immediate gastric reflux.

But the Romnulans would have us believe that Obama made this huge mess for absolutely no reason whatsoever.  And poor rich, innocent conniving Willard just wants to take us back to the good-old-days of King George The W, when everyone was happy and all the trees were just the right height, back when a man could strap his favorite dog to the roof of his car and drive to his tiny, little heart’s content.  So Willard’s hired on all George’s best and brightest advisors to ensure the path forward takes us right back to the magical time when dimw(h)it(e) George was making the pie higher for all of us.  More wars, fewer social programs, less education, fewer voters, more tax cuts for the rich.  I’ll admit my fingers aren’t crossed, but my intestines are twisted in knots.

Republican’ts say that more tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans will lead to growth.  Just like cancer leads to growth – the growth of the tumor.  This is not an analogy, it’s an equivalence.  I know Romney isn’t someone you could have a beer with, but with any luck he likes pretzels.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and Randall Patrick McMurphy) invited.