Charge Of The White Brigade

You Built (Sh)it

The Republican’t National Convention 2012, The Afterbirthmath

September 1, 2012

 

 

    “If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth.”

Joseph Goebbels/Republican’t Party 2012 mission statement

Hello sports fans. I'm back from Tampa and my exhaustive and excruciating coverage of the 2012 RNC.  Full disclosure: I was not in Tampa, it just seemed appropriate to open with a lie and I did not run a three-hour marathon.  I wanted to keep with the theme of the Assault-On-Reality that was the 2012 RNC.  Lying. 

For those of you wise enough to have ignored the Republican’t convention, I salute you; then I assault you.  You’re not getting off that easy.  Of course it’s no surprise that the Republican’t Party lies and stupids.  You go with your strengths.  But they didn’t just repeat their most important lies over and over.  They created a complete alternate reality, every word made up to fit the mood they need to create.  Goebbels would have been proud.  Just like their now-disavowed/disappeared past “president” they did everything possible to “catapult the propaganda,” but I don’t know where they’ll find the time to repeat all of the lies often enough.  I wish they’d just pick a few of the best ones and stick with them.  Speaking of disappeared former “presidents,” George’s little brother was invited to carry the Bush legacy forward, preferably without mentioning anything about the span of time between 2000 and 2008.  Talk about doing the dirty work.  You’d think he’d have changed his last name to Saud by now.

Jeb Bush, hoping Romney will lose so he can run in 2016, did give a shout-out to his idiot brother, “My brother, well, I love my brother.”  Now there’s a heartrending endorsement of the last Republican’t president.  Very warm that Bush family.  That was said right after he waxed nostalgic about his family’s selfless service to American politics, beginning with his grandfather.  What Jeb didn’t bother to mention was that his granddad, the great American, Prescott Bush, helped finance Hitler’s Third Reich.  A little thing I know, but somehow it seems like it could be important.  And I’m sure it was an oversight, due to the excrement excitement of the moment, that caused Jeb to omit his father’s long and profitable relationship with the Saudi royal family (including the Saudi prince they call Bandar Bush) as well as the bin Laden family - all very nice people I’m sure.  And, his brother, well, you know how I feel about his brother.  There’s no need to go on about The Worst “President” In American History.  That’s the past.  It has nothing to do with the present.  That was made clear every day by each and every Republican’t lying at the convention.

Choosing schools = choosing milk, buying broccoli = purchasing medical care – it’s all the same to Republican’ts.  They fight the good fight against women’s rights, against fighting poverty, against science, civil rights, education, taxes on rich people, universal health care, peace.  They promise to stop the environment.  They promise to put an end to evolution.  They know they can get Romney more than the 0% of the black vote he currently polls at.

They love their guns even though their beloved Second Amendment couldn’t keep their worst nightmare from happening – Obama in the White House.  They plan to fix that by running the guy they hate only slightly less – Willard Mitt Romney, or Rip Nomney as Paul Lyin’ Ryan called him in a recent interview.  Ryan, the only thing that might make Willard palatable to non-Mor(m)ons, also wowed the intellectually-and-factually-challenged crowd in Tampa, eliciting this glowing review: “...Ryan’s speech was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech.” - Sally Kohn, Fox News.  When pressed for explanation Romney campaign’s official pollster, Neil Newhouse told ABC news, “We’re not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers.”  Like I said, you go with your strengths.

Willard, the Sybil of policy positions, whined that “President Obama began with an apology tour. America, he said, had dictated to other nations. No Mr. President, America has freed other nations from dictators.”  On this The Willard is correct; it’s just that all the dictators we ousted were the same ones we put in power earlier.

The grand finale had the newest version of the Willard Mitt Romney device teleprompting his most carefully chosen words to the live audience, paid to be there in person, and out across the public airwaves that The Willard and his fellow Republican’ts must surely despise because they didn’t build it.  Normal humans watching this soliloquy would have only heard a small fraction of the actual message, most of which populates the range of sound audible only to dogs, bats and Tea Party denizens.

One human observer noted that The Willard began to choke up during his big speech.  He’s no John Boehner, whose normal alcohol levels allow him to cry at the drop of a hate.  What was actually happening at that moment was merely Romney exhibiting very typical vulture behavior.  Vultures circle around in search of the weak, the dying and the dead.  They eat the dead - nasty business, but some one’s got to do it.  They regurgitate the partially digested blacks Hispanics gays women detritus into their craws to fend off predators with a putrid stench that would choke a skunk.  This particular vulture was keenly aware that the crowd before him was much more comfortable detesting him than accepting him as their champion so his defenses were up.  But, the fact is, there’s a Black Man in the White House and this angry mob will do whatever it takes to fix this problem.  Anyway, this is what was interpreted as The Willard ‘choking up.’  An honest mistake I’m sure.  And probably the only honest thing to occur during the entire Republican’t convention. 

Oh, and Clint Eastwood talked to an empty chair for twelve minutes during prime time.  There wasn't a dry crotch in the house.

                                             They pledge allegiance to themselves

                                                  Not the United States of America
                                                  And screw the Republic for which it stands
                                                  What assholes, oh my God
                                                  Where’s liberty and justice for all?

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and Fred Thompson debating an empty chair) invited.

Oops, apparently Fred Thompson is an empty chair.