Out Of The Womb, Into The Fire

So Is Legitimate Good Or Bad?

The State of Missouri Misery

August 25, 2012

The Republican’t platform includes the yearning for a constitutional amendment outlawing abortion with no exception for life of the mother, rape or incest.  Congressman and Republican’t senate nominee in Missouri, Todd Akin (R-14^th Century) talked about his understanding that “if it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”  Wow, that’s just some groundbreaking stuff.  This guy is like the Einstein of the anti-choice crowd…if Einstein instead of thinking fifty years ahead of his time and coming up with E=MC², had gotten 90% of his brain removed shortly after birth and a Nobel Prize for drooling. 

Countless Republican’ts, most of whom share Akin’s views if not his level of stupidity or candor, railed against this Tea-Party-darling for his unconscionable views.  They were beside themselves with disgust that this rube would speak what’s on all their minds in broad daylight.

Do you know this guy?  Is this a guy?



One has to wonder just how many times these Republican’ts have illegitimately raped their wives, and their girlfriends or unsuspecting strangers before that, and their sisters and cousins before that. And how many of those illegitimately raped girls and women had enough magic bodily fluids to ward off all those pregnancies?  And how many illegitimate people are walking around using up valuable oxygen as a result of non-functioning magic fluids?  And how many of these illegitimate rape babies are now holding elected office under the Republican’t banner?  Legitimately inquiring minds want to know.

In other woman-hating news Paul Ryan, had no choice but to reluctantly join in the faux chorus of outrage against Akin.  Ryan and Akin have co-sponsored anti-woman legislation which included "forcible rape" language so they must still have feelings for each other.  Ryan has since stated that rape is simply one of many forms of conception.  And in his “mind” conception means you are automatically either a U.S. citizen with a gun license, a tax shelter and all the rights afforded thereby or a U.S. citizen who should prepare to have your voting rights denied, depending on your color and/or social status.  Ryan said, “The method of conception doesn’t change the definition of life.”  Apparently Mr. Ryan has decided he is not only Ayn Rand, but also Miriam Fucking Webster.

Wait, there’s more.  Forget about Sharia Law.  But get your secular asses ready for Mormon Law, if Willard takes the helm. Nobody does proselytizing like the Mormons. They don’t even care if you’re already dead, they’ll just sign you up anyway.  They don’t care if you were a Jew killed by Nazis.  Just like the Second Amendment jihadists are scared to death that Obama will take all their guns away, us normal folks should start worrying about all the forced conversions a (GULP!) president Willard will surely be imposing.  As comfortable as he is with illegitimate rape and all that, why would he bat an eye at making us all Mormons or even Mor(m)ons?

Romney said those who "seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God" aren't acting in line with the Founders' intent.  Romney said the Founders didn't intend for "the elimination of religion from the public square. We are a nation 'Under God, 'and in God, we do indeed trust."  A regular Nostradumbass in reverse.

The separation of church and state is enshrined in the First Amendment of the Constitution and the Federalist Papers, but Congress and the courts and myriad idiots have debated the practical extent of that separation since our nation’s founding.   Most can’t be bothered by the fact that most of the Founders were Deists not Christians.  They believed in a Supreme Being but did not believe in religion.

We are into some serious stupid here folks.  Don’t take anything for granted.  Vote early and often while you still can.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible (and illegitimate) comment invited.