Beat Back Buttheads

This Week in Fuck Joe Manchin

October 29, 2021

The battle for Build Back Better rages on. As progressives continue their fight to enact the easily-elected Joe Biden’s very popular agenda, a small but overly powerful opposing force refuses to offer a reasonable compromise in order for the party to which they claim to belong might have a chance to fulfill the promises almost all of them (including one of the current dissenters) campaigned on. Clearly there is no Manchin or Sinema in team.

Manchin continues his unbridled crusade to fuck his “constituents” and most Americans. Coal’s best friend has been steadfast in his devotion to the filibuster and his mission to crush Joe Biden’s own personal big fucking deal – Build Back Better. According to Bob Woodward and Robert Costa’s book Peril, Biden reportedly told Manchin: “If you don't come along, you're really fucking me.” Manchin is lucky Biden is older than he is, otherwise instead of inviting Manchin to the White House for discussions, the older Joe would have preferred to have it out behind the woodshed. So, you can see the importance of fucking Joe Manchin before he fucks you. Oops, too late. 

Manchin has made the gutting of climate crisis response funding one of his top priorities. This may not be the hill he chooses to die on, but it is the one he is happy to kill the rest of us on. He refuses to allow paid family leave, and competitive drug costs for seniors, among other not only very popular, but very necessary for survival items in Biden’s Build Back Better legislation. Of course, West Virginians are not his constituents, not even those who voted for Manchin. The only people the Manchin Who Would Be King For A Day represents are the wealthy donors who pad his campaign coffers and likely his retirement/yacht upkeep fund. The same holds for Sinema who has been courting big dollar donors in between workouts, marathons and anything but governing in any way.

As seen on Etsy – frighten up your kitchen

Also seen on Etsy

Manchin and his co-obstructionist Kyrsten Sinema still refuse to commit to voting for the reconciliation bill that they whittled down from a totem pole to a toothpick. Naturally, most of the blame for the delay in passing this critical legislation, in tandem with the so-called bipartisan infrastructure bill is being heaped on those damned progressives, who for the first time in a long time refuse to roll over without a fight. Bernie Sanders, et al in the Senate and the substantial Progressive Caucus in the House have made compromise on top of compromise in order to not let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And all because two percent of their colleagues refuse to budge past where their corporate owners will allow. 

Manchkins - small of body, smaller of mind, smallest of scruples

In addition to the dirty dealings of the Dyspeptic Duo, and this cannot be said often enough, especially because it hardly ever gets said in the media since it is simply assumed and accepted: Not one single Ratpublican will buck their overlord Mitch McConnell and do what this country want, needs and voted for – provide a helping hand to the majority of Americans.

This Just In…

Anti-social media giant F@$#book is changing its name to MAGA…I mean META. A ruse by any other name.

According to anthropomorphic creation Mark Fuckerberg, “Because of forces we are pretending are beyond our control, F@$#book has been made to look evil, just because it is. In what I insist is a brilliant move, we are going to attempt to hide the hideous beast I alone created behind new branding. In no way will be cease to do what we are best at, tearing at the social fabric for the purpose of monetizing people, their emotions and their very existence. But hey, META! Am I right? You’ll never even know what hit you…until it’s too late. Also, I am a real boy dammit.”

Max Headroom                                           Mark Headcase
Which one seems more human?

I. Mangrey restraining.                                                                                                     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Koan For The Day

Riddle Me This

October 24, 2021

If you’re not familiar with the concept of Zen koan, it is a kind of riddle/conundrum, but one that cannot and must not be answered using everyday logic. Koans are part of the path to enlightenment in the Zen tradition. The answer to a Koan must come from a place of Zen-and-now. There are stories of adepts answering a koan, being immediately struck by their teachers, and at that moment attaining enlightenment.

Paying Attention brings you a modern-day riddle wrapped in an enigma:

Do you think when Frankie Valli’s dad told him to, “Walk like a man, talk like a man…” that he did so in a falsetto voice?

The Four Seasons - Walk Like A Man

This has been your Paying Attention Koan For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your response for the day?

It Might Be Time For America To Call The Suicide Prevention Hotline

October 19, 2021

Every Day Is January 6^th Now

Ratpublicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee are trying to counter the majority report spelling out the treason committed by Turmp. They are saying that since Turmp did not succeed in overthrowing the United States government (Turmp’s second favorite government), no harm, no foul.

“You have reached the International Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

If you are a world superpower in a suicidal crisis, we're here

to help. Please remain on the line while we determine

whether or not it is too late.”

The disgraced, twice-impeached, virus-coddling/American-killing ex-president had some special advice for the January 6 Committee. The man who makes Benedict Arnold look like George Washington (one assumes Turmp cannot tell them apart) apparently knows what the investigation should find. The Orange Tumor spit out some of his best words ever: “The Unselect Committee of partisan Democrats, and two very weak and pathetic RINOs, should come to the conclusion after spending many millions of dollars, that the real insurrection happened on November 3rd, the Presidential Election, not on January 6th — which was a day of protesting the Fake Election results.” Admit it, wouldn’t that have been much better as a Tweet. Don’t you miss all his incessant tweeting. Of course you don’t. You have a very good brain.

Oh, what the hell, just for old time sake…

Sorry, this won’t happen again…with any luck

Some of the Ratpublicans who voted to convict the flagrant insurrectionist during his second impeachment, you remember, the emergency one that became necessary after Turmp and his very fine people 1) tried to hang Mike Pence, 2) tried to kidnap and/or murder Nancy Pelosi, et al, 3) assaulted hundreds of law enforcement, 4) ransacked the Capitol, and 5) tried to interfere with the certification of the 2020 and fucking overthrow the duly elected government of the United States, are holding their baby powder before rushing to judgment about what might ensue should Turmp decide to run/steal the 2024 election. After all, he is one-for-two. They don’t want to risk angering the Orange Gas Cloud.

Dangerous Douchebag Donald is intent on reclaiming his ill-gotten crown, America be damned. He does not give even one tiny rabbit turd about this country. He does not understand the Constitution; actually, this might be a bit unfair and more accurately stated: he is not even passingly familiar with the Constitution. Neither does Donald understand our voting system, democracy, or most of the words that dribble from his mouth.

Turmp is also claiming that all mail-in ballots in one Arizona county were “rigged” (i.e., for the other guy) and, “Either a new Election (sic) should immediately take place or the past Election (sic) should be decertified and the Republican candidate declared the winner.” Does anyone recall who that candidate might have been? I wish I didn’t.

And The Cheat Goes On

As of this writing, Turmp is still running for president in 2020, and possibly 2024 as well. He is running against democracy and hopefully from the law. Turmp has spent the past year trying to get ballots manufactured, changed, audited and thrown out. So far, all that has happened is an increase in the number of votes for Joe Biden – and these votes were discovered by insanely pro-Turmp Cyber Nitwits determined to overturn Biden’s election. There is no doubt that Turmp is looking forward to throwing out the first vote of the 2024 election.

Turmp practices throwing out the first ballot in 2024.

(You kids at home – when you throw something, look where

you’re throwing, not at your throwing hand like this maroon.

Also, try not to look like this is the hardest thing

you’ve ever done in your life and your face is broken.)

Turmp’s ongoing, slow-motion coup is not to be treated lightly. Certainly, the entire Ratpublican Party is taking it seriously, so seriously that they are willing to bet everything on orange. They will try to make America white again and eventually, the only way they will be able to sustain their bigoted vision of white-makes-right, will be much uglier than anything we have seen in our lifetime, at least in America.

Jimmy Kimmel offered Stormy Daniels a selection of mushrooms to choose from,

asking her which one most closely resembled President Donald Trump's genitalia.

These corporate-supremacists and white supremacists must be stopped asap. To paraphrase the original President Moron, George WTF Bush, “We cannot wait for the final proof, the smoking gun, to come in the form of a mushroom-shaped penis.” Or something like that.

I. Mangrey. Thanks for your angst.

Thought For The Day

The Children Will Rise Up!

The Great and Powerful Nandi

Pay attention to the girl behind the curtain

October 16, 2021

Crisis Of Conscience Meets Crisis Of Climate

Nandi is the name of the guardian deity of Kailash, the home of Lord Shiva in the Hindu religion. He is usually depicted as a bull.

Nandi the Bull

Nandi Bushell is from South Africa, poised to become a guardian deity of Planet Earth, the home of myriad creatures, including hairless apes. She is usually depicted as an adorable 10-year-old girl who plays drums, guitar, bass and piano.

Nandi the Kid

The Children Will Rise Up!

Nandi & Roman with Tom Morello, Jack Black and Greta Thunberg

The children had better rise up right quick…

John Oliver on PFAs

Meanwhile, Joe “Coal Is My Sugar Daddy” Manchin is refusing to allow any money for a proposed clean energy program in the Build Back Better Act. Manchin is clinging to coal in order to extract every last penny. Coal is just about dead no matter what Manchin does, but he is willing to watch his constituents and the rest of us go down with it. I’ve said it before, and apparently it needs to be said again, “Fuck Joe Manchin.” Many people are saying that Manchin is pushing for a mandate to create coal-fired cars, trucks and planes. 

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day? 

Elections Are For Suckers

One Party To Rule Them All, And In The Darkness Bind Them

October 14, 2021

Mike Lindell and Don Turmp have announced that due to the catastrophic and rampant unproven fraud in the 2020 election, there will be a do-over election this November. According to the badly crack-damaged brain of Pillow Boy, “Originally I had hoped for August and September. I asked all the lawyers just yesterday. We are taking this case to the Supreme Court before Thanksgiving. You heard it here first because our case is ready. We are bringing it to the Supreme Court before Thanksgiving.”

Donnie Dearest may not have to wait that long, and he damn sure won't just sit back and wait for Ratpubicans to assure his victory in 2024. Turmp has convinced 21,000,000 of his very finest "people" that in fact, he did win that election (the last one, not the next one; he should be claiming victory in 2024 any day now), and that his crown should be restored by violence (not making this up). Said one of these flaming MAGAts, “If we can't overturn the will of the people, we will use the sacred Second Amendment to elect who we want. This is America, not some shithole country like or Covfefe. We inverted democracy.” A reporter asked, “Do you mean we invented democracy?” The answer, “Whatever.”* 

Democrats are always expected to be the adults in the room, while Ratpublicans are consistently permitted to do whatever the fuck they want. Right now, Mitch Fucking McConnell’s gang of old white men with a smattering of even crazier non-old-white-men are in lock-step holding the full faith and credit of the United States government hostage for political power. To be fair, they are also doing this because they are a bunch of racist, classist, fascists who would rather see this country disintegrate than do anything, ever to help those in need. They do however do whatever they can to help those in greed. 

While it is McConnell and every single Ratpublican senator doing everything they can to sabotage our democracy and our economy – right this very moment – a significant segment of the American public will blame either both parties or just the Democrats if McConnell does not allow an increase in the debt ceiling, causing economic disaster. Democrats voted with Ratpublicans to raise the Debt Ceiling three times during the previous administration, even after Ratpublicans handed nearly $1.9T to the wealthiest Americans under guise of a tax cut for everyone. This tax cut for the rich followed a slightly smaller $1.5T tax cut handed out to the same demographic before he was mercifully limited to two horrific terms in office. Ironically, that total of $3.4T dollars is just slightly less than the $3.5T Democrats would like to have in order to help real people (not corporation people) via the Build Back Better Act. 

No Compromise In Defense Of Democracy

It is long overdue for Dems to stand up to the sociopathic bullies who keep lying and cheating, and stealing jobs, wealth, elections, and the environment. It is time for Dems to rear back and kick the Ratpublicans as hard as they can, right in the balls. If they don’t break at least one toe doing it, then they didn’t do it right. Of course, it is entirely possible that Team McConnell doesn’t have any balls, but it surely is worth a try. Expand the Supreme Court right now, before it’s too late. Kill the filibuster right now, before it’s too late. Pass election reform now, before it’s too late.

There’s no time like the present. And it’s probably

safer and more effective to use a knee. 

*This, I made up. As far as I know.

I. Mangrey reciprocating. 

Thought For The Day

October 12, 2021

Lindsey Graham Has Turmp’s Ear…And That’s Not All

And a good time was had by all…especially Lindsey G: “Oh Donald, are you

honoring the Second Amendment or are you just glad to see me?”

“My appreciation for President Trump includes the [free] food, but much beyond that.”
Disgraced toady Lindsey Graham, October 6, 2021

One cannot help but wonder if Lindsey is giving Donald something he couldn’t get from Melania if he paid her extra. And clearly, Lindsey will do it for free (food).

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Broken News

How Can We Forget You Ever Existed If You Won’t Go Away

October 9, 2021

Well, it was inevitable. That disgusting, orange half hominid/half weather balloon all jackass who used to be our very own disgraced, twice-impeached, president of Twitter is back in the news. But this time it’s for doing something very good.

Best-fitting suit he’s ever worn

Just kidding. That could never happen. At least not on purpose. The malodorous malefactor has once again been caught red-handed and orange-faced by new evidence of his brazen, boneheaded attempts to subvert democracy. Sure, everyone knows this by now, but the Senate Judiciary Committee just released its findings to the public in a nearly-400-page report. As a surprise to no one at all, the report described how Turmp directly asked the Justice Department nine times to “overturn the election” (his words, not mine) result.

On the other hand, Judiciary Committee Ratpublicans released their own report, all of five pages, “kissing Turmp’s ass” (my words, not theirs). The much shorter, more delusional, alternatively factual minority report blamed the media, and excused Turmp’s seditious behavior because he was unsuccessful at pulling off his Keystone Cop Coup.

Adding insult to insurrection, Turmp is now advising four of his hench-monkeys who have been subpoenaed by the January 6 Committee to ignore those lawful subpoenas. He is on record telling ex-chief-of-staff Mark Meadows, ex-White House troll Steve Bannon, and ex-chief of staff to one of Turmp’s acting secretaries of defense Kashyap Patel to stand back and stand by; one of Turmp’s ex-communications liars Dan Scavino, suddenly disappeared in light of being subpoenaed, and presumably knowing exactly how guilty of treason he and his boss are.

Not guilty by reason of stupidity is not how it works

L to R (Barr, Miller, Josh Hawley, Turmp, Kash Patel, Mark Meadows, Bannon, Dan Scavino)

Presidential executive privilege, as it turns out, is a perk reserved solely for sitting presidents. This does not include people who claim they are president, but it does include those whose overwhelming and completely lawful victories are claimed to be illegitimate by defeated sociopaths. Actual president Joe Biden has opted not to extend executive privilege to the guy who never conceded Biden’s victory and continues his slow-motion coup. Plus the fact that Turmp has been committing crimes against the government in plain sight since January 20, 2017…I bet you thought I was going to say January 6, 2021. No, January 6 was, as Mike Pence called it, just “that one day” in the life of crime of Donald J. Turmp. Though, Pence did admit that January 6 “was a tragic day in the history of our Capitol building”, but not, as far as Pence is concerned, so tragic for the people who died as a result of the tourorist attack, or for that little thing we call democracy.  

Predictably, Turmp is following his standard playbook - he is planning to sue actual president Joe Biden. Fortunately for America, Turmp has one the losingest track records in the history of lawsuits. 

For those keeping score, Turmp never allowed his taxes to be seen by the American public, despite repeatedly claiming he would release them as soon as the imaginary audit had been completed. Will Donald claim that his documents are also under imaginary audit. Only time will tell. 

Stand back and stayed tuned for more hilariously horrible hijinks from America’s least elected, most impeached, worst ever fake president as New York, Georgia and the United States Department of Justice continue to expose what everyone already knows – Donald Turmp is criminally insane and criminally criminal.

Write your own caption. Or just start chanting your positive aspirations.

This has been a Paying Attention Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled handwringing. 

Broken News

Shorter Bernie Sanders

October 7, 2021

Bernie Sanders held a press conference yesterday to finally call a turd a turd.

We now bring you a special Paying Attention (Over The) Cliff Notes type interpretation of Sanders’ core message for the day:

It is time for Joe Manchin to tell us what the fuck he actually wants to withhold from the American people in the very popular Build Back Better Act or shut the fuck up and help 48 out of 50 Democratic senators to pass the fucking bill already.

One cannot help but wonder exactly what level of preference Joe Manchin might exhibit for those particular apples, as the saying goes.

In Other News…

A federal judge in Texas has temporarily blocked the Texas abortion ban, finding in part, “That other courts may find a way to avoid this conclusion is theirs to decide; this Court will not sanction one more day of this offensive deprivation of such an important right.”

Texas is appealing. The ruling, that is.

This has been a Paying Attention Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled happy horseshit.

It’s Your Baby, And You’ll Have It If We Want To

Your Body, Their Choice, Fuck Them

October 6, 2021

Texas has all but banned all abortions, and any number of shithole states are poised to follow. For the time being, such laws are likely unconstitutional, but the newly emboldened Turmp/McConnell-packed Supreme Court is licking their fascist chops at the thought of overturning Roe v. Wade. This, despite the fact that only 30 percent of Americans are anti-choice. Anti-choicers always like to say that every child deserves to be born. What if they don’t want to be born? It doesn’t seem like they have a choice. The adults always get to decide. Mostly men. This is nothing short of tyranny.

So, it is acceptable to force a sperm and egg to join without their permission and go against God’s will with horrifyingly scientific procedures like invitro fertilization, bringing unnatural pregnancy into a body that has clearly been deemed by God as unworthy to bear children. But it is unacceptable to allow someone who either believes that they are doing what God wants, or perhaps simply does not care what God wants, or maybe does not want to carry a rapist’s child, or might die during childbirth, to do what they believe is right and/or necessary.

This is not a fucking baby, let alone a person,

I mean c’mon, it’s not even carrying a gun

I’ve been saying this for quite some time: If you believe women should be forced to give birth, you should be on a list, and you get someone’s unwanted baby when your name comes up. And don’t worry, there will be plenty for everyone.

A Little Reminder: There Is No Pro-Abortion Movement

It is interesting how some folks fight science (and intelligence) tooth-and-nail, except when they can misinterpret it to support some particular bit of idiocy they find irresistible. If you don’t believe in abortion, don’t get one. If you’re opposed to same-sex relationships, don’t have one. If you’re opposed to non-white people having too much say in our politics and culture, get the fuck out of here – I hear Russia has everything you want in a country. Or perhaps the newly re-Talibanized Afghanistan.

And let us not forget how incensed these pro-rape, pro-incest, forced-birth fanatics are about losing their ability to choose whether or not to get vaccinated or wear a fucking mask, though many of them never complained about dozens of other vaccines required in any number of circumstances, or seatbelts, which I’m guessing cuts off the oxygen to their brains…well, clearly something is to blame.

Did he pose here because he thinks it’s still 1931?

I. Mangrey reporting. Life begins at deception.

Every Sperm is Sacred - Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

A Sinematic Flop

With Democrats Like These, Who Needs Republicans

October 3, 2021

We at Paying Attention have been painfully focused on the depredations of Joe Manchin regarding the Democrats’ attempts to enact the agenda Joe Biden ran on and handily won the presidency. Thanks to gerrymandering, endless dirty tricks and rampant voter-suppression techniques and laws, Ratpublicans, despite receiving significantly fewer votes throughout many so-called Red States, still managed to maintain an overly powerful minority in the House and Senate.

“I’ve never been a liberal.”
Joe Manchin, September 30, 2021

“No fucking shit.”
Ed Venture, slightly later, September 30, 2021

We have been remiss by not giving discredit where discredit is due. Freshman senator Kyrsten Sinema (“D”-AZ) has been every bit as full-of-shit as Manchin. The drug and medical industrial complex has prescribed $750K for Sinema, who once so medicated voted against helping reduce drug costs for Americans. While working diligently to keep Democrats from helping Americans recover from Turmp’s Make America Crippled agenda, she will not do interviews and has not given even a hint of what she wants to cut from the Build Back Better bill. Sinema recently met with a gaggle of corporate sugar-daddies/lobbyists who fawned over her (i.e., bought her) with gobs of green, “suggesting” she vote against the Democrats’ mandate to pass critical, bold legislation to save this country from Mitch Fucking McConnell and his Sedition Caucus.

Ratpublicans are anti-environment, anti-voting rights, anti-poor people, and just to show how much they are the party of Turmp, McConnell has decided that the government need not bother paying the debts accrued under Turmp, despite warnings from all quarters that doing so would mean economic disaster for the country and for countless American households. What the fuck does Moscow Mitch care? McConnell insisted that Democrats deal with the Debt Ceiling on their own, and then filibustered efforts to do so. Every single Ratpublican senator stood with McConnell and voted to shut down the government and destroy the American economy by stiffing creditors. Every. Single. One.

Every poll taken in the last 10 months shows that the American public supports Biden’s social safety net bill, both as a whole, and almost all of its constituent parts. Things like guaranteed pre-K, child-care, adding community college to K-12 public education, Medicare for all, a permanent child tax credit, cheaper drug prices for seniors, more equitable taxation of the super-rich, seriously addressing the climate crisis, etc. have massive support. Even in states like Joe Manchin’s West Virginia.

Sinema, hanging on every word and one arm of Ratpublican Rob Portman.

Another state where these policies are popular, Arizona, also has a faux-Democratic senator – Kyrsten Sinema. Sinema, though better educated, is coming across as no less ignorant, arrogant and anti-democratic (not to mention anti-Democratic) than intellectually insufficient hacks like Marjorie Traitor Greene and Lauren “When-do-we-get-to-pry-her-fucking-guns-from-her-cold-dead-hands” Boebert. This is not a gender thing – there are certainly more than enough Men-tal midgets and Men-tal defectives in Congress: Matt Gaetz, Louis Gohmert, Madison Cawthorn, Deven Nunes, Gym Jordan, Kevin McCarthy, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, the historically ignorant Ron Johnson, and of course Florida governor Ron Duh-Santis come gurgling to mind like an attack of e-coli for the brain. And keep an eye out for up-and-dumber Dan Crenshaw (R-TX). Wow, that’s quite a list. Are there that many more men because there are just more of them in government or because men are just worse? We may never know.

Manchin and Sinema represent a very small minority in their party and in reality, they represent their large corporate donors above all else. Let them deny it all they want. I thought that in a democracy the majority was supposed to be allowed to enact their agenda. Ninety-six percent of Dems in the Congress want to enact the agenda that they and Joe Biden ran and won on. We have a few holdouts who can obstruct whatever they want, for whatever reason they want, most notably Manchin and Sinema. They have expressed more fealty to the filibuster than to their party, their constituents (who by large margins support most of the Build Back Better package), or the Constitution. While it is their prerogative to disagree with policy, shouldn’t they respect the overwhelming majority of their party? This is not a rhetorical question. And the answer is YES.

The funny thing is, killing this recovery package, the first one that finally, and significantly favors the working class (and the environment) in almost 100 years, will likely serve to kill the political futures of the two most high-profile bill killers. Unsurprisingly, Sinema is blaming progressive Democrats and not every single Ratpublican for holding up Joe Biden’s signature legislation. Is she more full of shit than Manchin? You make the call.

Then there are the admitted Ratpublicans, would rather see Democrats fail than see Americans succeed. They just can’t get enough of Manchin's and Sinema’s corporate whoring.

I. Mangrey, obviously.