Broken News

Greedy With A Chance Of Assholes

April 28, 2022

If you do not know what an NFT is, I envy you. NFT – Non-Fungible Token. I had never heard of, nor imagined anything dumber. With the possible exception of Rand Paul. An NFT is a non-interchangeable unit of data stored on a blockchain, a form of digital ledger, that can be sold and traded. People decided they would buy these non-existent “things” for lots of money (which of course is also not real, but has a much more universal agreement as to its value – for better or worse) and then, after waiting for several minutes, or perhaps even weeks, would sell these non-existent tokens of stupidity, presumably for some huge digital profit. This of course assumes that the digital money continues to have value.

CryptoPunk 7804

I do not own the above masterful work of digital art. I am just borrowing it from whatever numb-nuts paid what was described as “the equivalent of about $7.6M” to own it. Whatever the fuck that is. If only I had the original, whatever the fuck that is. Am I jealous? Sure. Whatever.

Twitter founder Jack Dorsey’s first-ever tweet

Iranian-born crypto entrepreneur Sina Estavi purchased the NFT above for $2.9M in March 2021. He recently announced on Twitter that he planned to sell the Non-Fortuitous Trash, and pledged 50% of its proceeds (which he thought would exceed $25 million) to charity. Yeah, sure. Turns out the high bid was just under $280. No doubt charities are falling all over themselves to garner this unprecedented windfall. Or not. 

No Fucking Thanks

Speaking of Twitter, Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla, major embarrassment to the Asperger’s community, and voted the man most in need of shutting the fuck up, is poised to buy Twitter for $44B. Musk insists his goal is to make free speech great again by letting dangerous dipshits everywhere to spew their bilious rhetoric with impunity. Musk himself has been know to tweet “fire” in the crowded Twitterverse from time to time. When he’s not busy just being a major douchebag in the analogue world. His cars are cool, his recyclable rocket is great. One must wonder why Fucker Carlson and every other right-wing fuckwit is cheering Musk’s takeover of Tweetville. Maybe Elon will end up just getting too stoned to even remember he owns the social media juggernaut.

Disgraced, twice-impeached, two-time-popular-vote-losing, one-term, seditious, ex-president and failed blogger Donald Tmurp has said he will not return to Twitter, which banned him after he planned and incited the January 6 insurrection. I give him about 30 seconds of protest once Musk allows him back on the putrid platform. That will be about 10 seconds after his pathetic knock-off – TRUTH Social (two words Tmurp can barely spell let alone identify with) – disappears in a puff of digital smoke.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled not-forgotten tsuris.

Earth For The Day

It’s My Planet And I’ll Cry If I Want To

April 22, 2022

I know I have a tendency to go on about the Earth and the environment all the time, don’t ask me why. I just have this hunch that they may come in handy one day.

Everyone here at Paying Attention is still reeling from the passing of our good friend and founder Steve Gallop’s father Herb who was laid to rest yesterday, in what many people are describing as the only funeral to feature a sing-a-long. So in lieu of pithy pronouncements, angst-ridden assessments and comical caterwauling, we can only provide you with some terrifying links to hint at the hoaxiness of the so-called climate crisis that threatens the very Earth that now holds Herb Gallop for as long as people like you and me can keep denialists from trashing the place beyond recognition.

We hope to be back at our regular rocking, rolling and ranting in the very near future.

https://www.alternet.org/2021/12/climate-crisis/

https://www.alternet.org/2022/03/humans-have-become-armageddon-makers/

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/doomsday-glacier-thwaites-antarctica-climate-crisis-1273841/

https://crooksandliars.com/2022/01/you-wont-believe-who-virginias-natural

Sorry To Be The Bearer Of Good News…

https://edition.cnn.com/2022/01/14/business/india-reliance-gujarat-green-energy-investment-intl-hnk/index.html

Actual transcript from 1983. 39 years ago. In people years.

In case you can’t read the fine print above, the 1983 NOVA program was entitled The Climate Crisis. So this hoax goes back even farther the Tmurp 2020 Great Election Hoax or Qanon’s infamous Ping Pong Pizzagate, or Qanon itself. Or the 2017 Inauguration-Crowd Fairy Tale, or even the very fake presidential campaign of 2016 that ended with Donald Tmurp in the real White House.

Good thing this climate crisis is a hoax. Can you imagine how bad things would be if it was real?

So stand back and stand by to see how quickly the Ratpublican/Fux News machine can put a stop to this rogue planet once and for all.

We live in interesting times.

That was not a compliment.

Climate Crisis, What Climate Crisis

Spirit – Nature’s Way

This has been your Paying Attention™ Earth For The Day.

You're welcome.

How is your Earth for the day?

Thought For The Day

Every Day Is Still January 6^th

April 17, 2022

Hey, remember when Donald Tmurp told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” and later on they tried to “hang Mike Pence” and kidnap members of Congress in order to overturn the 2020 election and end democracy in America? Remember?

What a coincidence that was.

 

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

Waddaya think?

Question For The Day

April 16, 2022

Now that Sarah Palin is poking herself back into the public eye by running for Congress, asking must be done as to why the fuck Alaska’s most famous anus didn't warn us about what Russia was about to do in Ukraine. Why weren't there tabs being kept on Putin from her porch where from Russia can be seen by her. Why?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your question for the day?

Thought For The Day

Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella And Don’t Get A Mouthful Of Rain

April 15, 2022

Haven't been able to share my thoughts very much lately. Haven't actually been able to be Paying Attention™ much lately, or even have any thoughts about what the fuck is going on out there. Turns out I have a personal life. Who knew? And that personal life has of late been a flaming pile of poop. But don’t cry for me Argentina, or America, or definitely not Ukraine.

In case you haven’t seen Ukraine’s newly minted postage stamp

At least there’s something to smile about

 This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Broken News

Critical Cruz Theory

April 9, 2022

Raphael Ted Cruz joined fellow Ratpublicans in pretending to question Ketanji Brown Jackson prior to her historic confirmation to the Supreme Court. Not satisfied with having stolen two seats on the High Court already, shameless, neo-fascist, racist assholes like Cruz, Tom Cotton, Josh Hawley, Marsha Blackburn, et al took their time in the spotlight to show off their Qanon bona fides.

Hot on the heels of Ted Cruz catapulting their excellent book Antiracist Baby onto the NY Times best seller list by using it to foment racism in his unhinged attack on Ketanji Brown Jackson, Ibram X. Kendi and Ashley Lukashevsky wisely released a companion piece to their blockbuster.

Bound to be a favorite for years to come…the book, not Cruz. He will remain despised throughout history.

 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled carnage.

Word Of The Day

KOYAANISQATSI

April 5, 2022

This became one of my favorite words of all time after I saw the brilliant, moving and unique 1983 Godfrey Reggio documentary of the same name.

We have not yet been able to rid ourselves of the disgraced, twice-impeached, seditious, sociopathic, Putin-loving ex-president and failed blogger Donald Tmurp.

We had to endure a bunch of horrible white men flinging their misogynistic, mostly racist, Qanon-embracing feces at the eminently qualified Ketanji Brown Jackson as she endured the disgraceful Supreme Court confirmation process. A process which more resembled Franz Kafka’s In The Penal Colony than a job interview. In Kafka’s disturbing story, the brutal torture brought to bear on the accused was in response to assumed guilt of some crime. In Jackson’s hearing, the Ratpublican inquisitors did less inquiring than they did make shit up to score points with the lunatic fringe whose undying, unthinking, ungodly support they need to keep their dangerous careers afloat.

And we continue to watch in disbelief and abject horror the surreal bloodbath perpetrated upon the innocent people of Ukraine at the hands of Tmurp’s BFF Putin as the Russian autocrat tries, with a remarkable degree of insanity, to reconstitute the long-dead Soviet Union, on his way to his imagined world domination.

Not to mention the ever-accelerating climate crisis, continuously and resolutely ignored by the entire Ratpublican Party and far too many American citizens despite the overwhelming evidence that we are on the verge of global environmental collapse, making our beautiful, relatively essential planet inhospitable for human survival.

That, and so much more, makes today’s word of the day as applicable and indispensable as ever.

Koyaanisqatsi, baby!

Koyaanisqatsi – the trailer

This has been your Paying Attention Word Of The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your word of the day?

Chicago – It Better End Soon

A Chink In The Harmer

WARNING/GUARANTEE:
 THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL’S JOKE

April 1, 2022

On March 28 a federal judge ruled that Donald Trump likely committed a felony in his quest to steal the 2020 election. The 44 page ruling by U.S. District Judge David O. Carter, said in part: “Based on the evidence, the Court finds it more likely than not that President Trump corruptly attempted to obstruct the Joint Session of Congress on January 6, 2021.”

Carter ruled that Tmurp lawyer and the “Brain” (to Tmurp’s “Pinky”) behind the coup John Eastman must turn over documents to the House Select Committee. He wrote in his opinion:

“If Dr. Eastman and President Trump’s plan had worked, it would have permanently ended the peaceful transition of power, undermining American democracy and the Constitution. If the country does not commit to investigating and pursuing accountability for those responsible, the Court fears January 6 will repeat itself.”

Eastman and Tmurp discuss their coup plan

Paging Rosemary Woods
                  or
 It’s Not The Coup It’s The Coup-verup

Hey, remember Nixon’s infamous 18-minute gap in the Watergate cover-up tapes? I sure as hell do. Remember how that was likely what finally led to him having to flee in shame? Well, now we have…drum roll please…Donald Tmurp’s super stupendous, very terrific, bigly 7-hour, 37-minute gap in the White House phone records on January 6, 2021, spanning 11:17am through 6:54pm, which includes the entire duration of Tmurp’s planned Capitol assault. An event that presidential historian Michael Beschloss called, “a coup d’etat attempted by the President of the United States.” Ouch! And an event that everyone with an intact brain knows was exactly what Mr. Beschloss called it. This, as we saw above was also the opinion of a federal judge. Maybe someone should look into this.

Tmurp making one of his “perfect phone calls.”
Maybe the kind that don’t show up on official call logs?

The Icing On The Kook

Just days ago, Tmurp once again called on bloodthirsty war criminal Vladimir Putin to help him out by finding some dirt on Joe and Hunter Biden. Doesn’t he know that his buddy Vlad is busy pummeling Ukraine into dust? Does Tmurp watch anything other than Fux News? Doesn’t Donny know that Vlad broke up with him because Tmurp is a big fat losing loser? Does he not realize that was the same con that earned him his first impeachment? Is he really that thick? Never mind. Too bad Donny isn’t actually rich enough to be one of Vlad’s butt-boy oligarchs; otherwise he could make a new life in Mother Russia.

Disgraced ex-president bravely sits down for interview
with idiot son Eric’s nutjob wife, soils straightjacket

As if begging Putin for dirt on the Bidens was not pathetic enough, the disgraced, twice-impeached, two-time-popular-vote-losing, one-term, seditious, ex-president and failed blogger could not help but whine about his 2017 inauguration. Yes, 2017. The year that happened five years ago. “They did it with my inauguration! They take pictures hours and hours before the inauguration starts, and then they talk about the crowd. We had a massive crowd! And if you see the late pictures when I was speaking, but they don't show those pictures! We have such a corrupt media!”

The Figurine Atop The Icing On The Kook

On Tuesday, The TV host of Russia's 60 Minutes show, Evgeny Popov had this to say, “It's time for us, our people, to call on the people of the United States to change the regime in the U.S. early, and to again help our partner, Trump, to become president.” Partner? Don't they mean comrade?

This begs the question, “Can you impeach a disgraced, already-twice-impeached, one-term, seditious, ex-president and failed blogger?”

I. Mangrey refusing to walk away from this burning building. Also, your shoe's untied.*

*That was an April Fool's joke. The rest, unfortunately, is not.

UPDATE:

Well, it appears that Vlad still considers his boy Don to be a valuable idiot. He quickly acceded to Donny’s plea for fake news on Hunter Biden. The Russians knew they could not use the repeatedly debunked bullshit Tmurp was peddling and came up with their own freshly excreted turd of a conspiracy theory. I'll spare you the details.