A Chink In The Harmer

WARNING/GUARANTEE:
 THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL’S JOKE

April 1, 2022

On March 28 a federal judge ruled that Donald Trump likely committed a felony in his quest to steal the 2020 election. The 44 page ruling by U.S. District Judge David O. Carter, said in part: “Based on the evidence, the Court finds it more likely than not that President Trump corruptly attempted to obstruct the Joint Session of Congress on January 6, 2021.”

Carter ruled that Tmurp lawyer and the “Brain” (to Tmurp’s “Pinky”) behind the coup John Eastman must turn over documents to the House Select Committee. He wrote in his opinion:

“If Dr. Eastman and President Trump’s plan had worked, it would have permanently ended the peaceful transition of power, undermining American democracy and the Constitution. If the country does not commit to investigating and pursuing accountability for those responsible, the Court fears January 6 will repeat itself.”

Eastman and Tmurp discuss their coup plan

Paging Rosemary Woods
                  or
 It’s Not The Coup It’s The Coup-verup

Hey, remember Nixon’s infamous 18-minute gap in the Watergate cover-up tapes? I sure as hell do. Remember how that was likely what finally led to him having to flee in shame? Well, now we have…drum roll please…Donald Tmurp’s super stupendous, very terrific, bigly 7-hour, 37-minute gap in the White House phone records on January 6, 2021, spanning 11:17am through 6:54pm, which includes the entire duration of Tmurp’s planned Capitol assault. An event that presidential historian Michael Beschloss called, “a coup d’etat attempted by the President of the United States.” Ouch! And an event that everyone with an intact brain knows was exactly what Mr. Beschloss called it. This, as we saw above was also the opinion of a federal judge. Maybe someone should look into this.

Tmurp making one of his “perfect phone calls.”
Maybe the kind that don’t show up on official call logs?

The Icing On The Kook

Just days ago, Tmurp once again called on bloodthirsty war criminal Vladimir Putin to help him out by finding some dirt on Joe and Hunter Biden. Doesn’t he know that his buddy Vlad is busy pummeling Ukraine into dust? Does Tmurp watch anything other than Fux News? Doesn’t Donny know that Vlad broke up with him because Tmurp is a big fat losing loser? Does he not realize that was the same con that earned him his first impeachment? Is he really that thick? Never mind. Too bad Donny isn’t actually rich enough to be one of Vlad’s butt-boy oligarchs; otherwise he could make a new life in Mother Russia.

Disgraced ex-president bravely sits down for interview
with idiot son Eric’s nutjob wife, soils straightjacket

As if begging Putin for dirt on the Bidens was not pathetic enough, the disgraced, twice-impeached, two-time-popular-vote-losing, one-term, seditious, ex-president and failed blogger could not help but whine about his 2017 inauguration. Yes, 2017. The year that happened five years ago. “They did it with my inauguration! They take pictures hours and hours before the inauguration starts, and then they talk about the crowd. We had a massive crowd! And if you see the late pictures when I was speaking, but they don't show those pictures! We have such a corrupt media!”

The Figurine Atop The Icing On The Kook

On Tuesday, The TV host of Russia's 60 Minutes show, Evgeny Popov had this to say, “It's time for us, our people, to call on the people of the United States to change the regime in the U.S. early, and to again help our partner, Trump, to become president.” Partner? Don't they mean comrade?

This begs the question, “Can you impeach a disgraced, already-twice-impeached, one-term, seditious, ex-president and failed blogger?”

I. Mangrey refusing to walk away from this burning building. Also, your shoe's untied.*

*That was an April Fool's joke. The rest, unfortunately, is not.

UPDATE:

Well, it appears that Vlad still considers his boy Don to be a valuable idiot. He quickly acceded to Donny’s plea for fake news on Hunter Biden. The Russians knew they could not use the repeatedly debunked bullshit Tmurp was peddling and came up with their own freshly excreted turd of a conspiracy theory. I'll spare you the details.