Thought For The Day

Random Act Of Mindless

 November 30, 2022

Dudley Dumbass: When you're a star you can grab 'em…

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Thought For The Day

The Company They Kreep

 November 29, 2022

It seems amazing that high-profile fascists, racists, anti-Semites, Holocaust deniers and their ilk are willing to risk their very fine reputations by being seen with disgraced, twice-impeached, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president Donald Trump. They must be very secure in their hatred and ignorance.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think?

Fun Fact For Turkey Day

Going Native

November 24, 2022

Well, isn’t this a special Thanksgiving Day. Apparently the United States (a shamelessly stolen land) House of Representatives is considering – considering, mind you – honoring an 1835 treaty. The same document the federal government used to remove the Cherokee and take their homeland — the Treaty of New Echota — also guaranteed the tribe a voice (a non-voting voice) in Congress. Yes, that’s right, that would be the same treaty that sanctioned the brutally disgraceful Trail of Tears which murdered a quarter of the Cherokee Nation. Yet, not so much as an essentially ceremonial presence in the government that waltzed in and usurped their ancestral homeland without so much as a fare-thee-well.

Bruce Cockburn - Stolen Land

So, American Samoa, the Northern Mariana Islands, Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands all have non-voting seats in the House, but the Cherokee Nation does not. The Choctaws also have a similar treaty but are even further from being seated than the Cherokee.

The good news is we no longer have Sarah Palin to kick around anymore - she lost to Native American Mary Peltola for Alaska's House. 

Happy Thankstaking, white devils.

Just thought you might like to know.
Alright, so that maybe wasn't as much fun as you'd hoped, but it's a fucking fact. So sue me.

Walela – Cherokee Morning Song

Either way, this has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For Turkey Day.

Walker, Texas Deranger

We Don’t Have Enough Trees, But One Too Many Walkers

November 23, 2022

“We’re in the best country in the United States.”
Herschel Walker, November 12, 2022

“Well first of all this election is more than Herschel Walker,
this erection is about the people.”
Herschel Walker, November 22, 2022

Can this idiot not tell that it's not just his brain that's melting?

Herschel Walker, who was carpet-bagged out of Texass by Donald Trump in order to pit him against Sen. Raphael Warnock (D-GA, not TX), has once again changed his stance on abortion. “I believe with both of my brain cells that abortion should only be legal in cases where there is a serious threat to the health of a celebrity's bank account. You knows, that when you a star, they lets you do anything you want. Mr. Trump tole me that and he the smartess man I ever known. And did you know that werewolves can kill vampires?”

Walker has not however, changed his brain-dead stance on destroying the environment. He once again showed off his anti-environment bona fides, polluting the campaign trail with more of his signature word salad/vomit, and what we assume must be methane (the highly climate-damaging gas in cow farts) coming out of his pie-hole. Walker gave Sarah Palin a run for her counterfeit money as he flogged the need to keep gas-guzzling cars pumping out that sweet CO₂. I think that either Herschel has a serious oxygen-to-the-brain deficit, or he's just an ignorant fuck who should try going without the highly overrated oxygen for a few days, just to see how he likes it, or perhaps he might want to suck on one o’ them gas-guzzler’s tailpipes for an hour or so. What could it hurt?

WARNING: Actual Quote

If we was ready for the green agenda, I’d raise my hand right now. But we’re not ready right now. So don’t let them fool you like this is a new agenda. This is not a new agenda. We’re not prepared. We’re not ready right now. What we need to do is keep having those gas-guzzling cars, ’cause we got the good emissions under those cars. We’re doing the best thing that we can.

Add this to Walker’s previous claim that

Since we don’t control the air, our good air decided to float over to China’s bad air so when China gets our good air, their bad air got to move. So it moves over to our good air space. Then now we got to clean that back up, while they’re messing ours up.*

And his mental mumbling that

They’re not helping you out, because a lot of the money is going into trees. You know that, don’t you? It’s going into trees. We’ve got enough trees. Don’t we have enough trees around here?*

It probably doesn’t help that Walker apparently has a mouth full of socks whenever he talks. That and a head full of fermenting oatmeal. Either way, Paying Attention is offering $100 (in crypto) to anyone who can explain what the fuck Walker is talking about.

And look at the company he keeps…

Donald gets…grabby?

Lindsey wants a piece of…the action?

Knowing all of this, one would not be unwise to decide that Mr. Walker gives mammals a bad name.

___________________________________________________
*Actual fucking quote

I. Mangrey reporting. It hurt so hard I laughed. 

Fraught For The Day

 

So It Goes

November 22, 2022

Little over a month ago Joe Biden talked semi-tough about America’s problematic, some would say disastrous, or perhaps sordid relationship with Saudi Arabia. Given Americans’ frighteningly short memories, you could be excused, if not applauded for remembering that 16 of the 19 hijackers on 9/11 were Afghans…I mean Iraqis…I mean Saudis. Yeah, that’s it – Saudis. You might also recall that some number of Saudis were spirited out of this country immediately after their fellow countrymen perpetrated the worst terrorist attack on American soil – even worse than the one carried out by the very white, very American Timothy McVeigh in Oklahoma City.

Then of course, the Bush/Cheney administration illegally invaded Saudi Arabia…I mean Afghanistan…I mean Iraq. Naturally, the war criminals Bush and Cheney were tried, convicted and severely punished…I mean got off scot-free.

Biden’s almost strong words aimed at Saudi Arabia came three months after his embarrassing photo-op with the murderous scumbag Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (or MBS as his pals, like Jared Kushner call him). It came even closer on the heels of MBS and company giving Biden - and all Americans - a big, beautiful fuck-you when Biden asked for a little help with gas prices. Who's our daddy?

Ouch!

Subsequent to all this falderal, Joe Biden’s Democratic Party took Ratpublicans behind the proverbial woodshed and beat the Senate out of them, and came shockingly close to beating the House out of them as well.

Hey Joe Biden, your party just “won” the midterm election. What are you gonna do now?

I’m gonna let MBS off the hook for the brutal murder of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi and then I’m going to Disney World. 

Freak out…

I mean, Peace Out.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.

What has you fraught for the day?

Speaking Of The Speaker

Nevertheless, She Persisted

November 20, 2022

First, best wishes for a speedy recovery to Nancy Pelosi’s husband Paul - the latest victim of the fascist stylings of Donald Trump. Pelosi herself has served this country faithfully for decades. No one is perfect. However much one may agree or disagree with Pelosi’s body of political positions, she has certainly put up Hall of Fame type numbers during her time as Speaker of the House. Her ability to navigate the political maelstrom and get critical legislation passed despite relentless, mindless opposition from the other side of the aisle will go down in history.

Nancy Pelosi demonstrating the proper way to acknowledge a blathering dingbat

During her farewell address as Speaker, Pelosi describe the pride and accomplishment of working with three presidents:

It has been my privilege to play a part in forging extraordinary progress for the American people. I have enjoyed working with three presidents, achieving historic investments in clean energy with President George [WTF] Bush, transformative healthcare reform with President Barack Obama, and forging the future, from infrastructure to healthcare to climate action with President Joe Biden.

You’re probably asking yourself, “Hey, didn’t Pelosi serve under four presidents?” Why can’t you leave well enough alone? Did Pelosi forget there had been a disgraced, twice-impeached, failed insurrection leading, Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president because she is old or because it still seems impossible that such a creature actually existed?

It is rumored that Trump had to have his diaper changed
after this encounter with Pelosi. He must have been thanking
the God he doesn’t believe in that the table was so wide.

For this reporter, the fact that Pelosi publicly called George WTF Bush “incompetent and a liar” in real time is a major accomplishment. She tore up Trump’s State of The Union address right in his face, or maybe it was his ass, but what’s the difference really.

Pelosi shreds the most heinous SOTU address in American history in real time

Perhaps most impressive, important and historic from a political standpoint, Nancy Pelosi impeached the living shit out of that traitorous, lying Orange Gas Cloud who called himself president (and in fact still does). Twice.

Pelosi delivering Articles of Impeachment for
Donald J. Trump - twice, in 2019 and 2021

Unsurprisingly, Ratpublicans could drum up neither the humanity, the courtesy, nor the professionalism to show up and show respect for Pelosi’s farewell and legacy. These are horrible people. Nancy Pelosi is going out on top. She will be “replaced” by a drooling dipshit, be it Kevin McCarthy or some other ghoulish Ratpublican goofball. So, put in your ear plugs, put on you eye shades, you know where to put the cork. Get ready for an agonizing stay in Crazy Town.

The Who – We’re Not Gonna Take It

I. Mangrey, reviled.

Profiles In WTF

Holy Fucking Shit

November 19, 2022

Following up on yesterday's Profiles In Cowardice, we have more on Radical Christian freak Mike Pence. Pence, masquerading as a human being, offered up this ghoulish pile of Christo-fascist horseshit just before Halloween

You know, I said today here in Houston that the source of our nation's greatness has always been our faith in God, our freedom, and our vast natural resources. And the good news is, that after four years of the Trump-Pence administration, I'm confident that we have a pro-religious freedom majority on the Supreme Court of the United States. And I'm confident that come Election Day, November the 8th, you're gonna see that freedom majority around the country turn out and vote pro-freedom majorities in the House, and in the Senate, and in statehouses around the country. So stay tuned, Larry. Help is on the way.*

And by a “pro-religious freedom majority” of course, Pence means a pro-religious fascism majority, one that looks to smash the wall between church and state. Our “vast natural resources?” Does Pence mean the ones that are being raped, pillaged and irresponsibly wased away in service of robber-baron corporations hell-bent on robbing us all blind while destroying the only planet we have? Those natural resources?

Stop him before he fucks America again

Todd Rundgren - Fascist Christ

In Other News Of Oh, Lordy, Lordy

Apparently, Evangelicals are less than thrilled with what they got by supporting Donald Trump’s hostile takeover of the White House in 2016 as well as his attempt to retain his ill-gotten office. Mike Evans, a religious figure who was among those met with Trump during his reign, recently shared his opinion during an interview with The Washington Post.

“He used us to win the White House. We had to close our mouths and eyes when he said things that horrified us. I cannot do that anymore.”

The fact that a religious person could a) for one moment support the likes of Donald Trump – one of the most irreligious politicians alive today – who showed exactly who he was at every turn, or b) for one moment pretend surprise at being used and conned by Donald Trump, defies credibility, among other things.

Actually, though Evans seems to not be aware of this, he and his fellow travelers did not in fact have to close their mouths and eyes. They could have stood up for their professed values, their religion and their Lord and Savior, who was know for precisely not closing either his eyes or his mouth in the face of people in power being horrifying. I’m just saying.

For his part, Donald Trump has moved on from Pence as a running mate in his Quixotic crusade to become the 47^th President of the United States. Trump announced, “Mike Pence is dead to me, or he should have been after the way he helped radical Democrats who stole the fraudulent, rigged 2020 election, which as everyone knows, I won.”

____________________________________________________
*actual bone-chilling quote

I. Mangrey recriminating.                                                                                                  

                                                                             

Profiles In Cowardice

The Pence Is Mightier Than…The Marshmallow (Maybe)

November 18, 2022

In his long uncared-for new book ex-vice president and very-nearly-dead Pence said of Trump, “For four years, we had a close working relationship*. It did not end well.” It certainly ended a heck of a lot better than Trump and his Hang-Mike-Pence-chanting mob was hoping.

Lily-livered loser and would-be gallows guest-of-honor Mike Pence briefly stood up on his hind legs to call out his former boss. Having repeatedly come out of his hole determined to stand up to the man who wanted him hanged outside the Capitol on January 6, 2021, only to scurry back into the safe confines of his wife's skirt after being frightened by his own shadow.

Mike Pence, official portrait

Fun Fact: Mike Pence who is whiter than a marshmallow and translucent, is the only living creature to cast a white shadow.  

Now that it appears his former owner/nemesis has lost his orange glow in the eyes of many, Pence felt it might be safe to peek his head back out and bravely hurl a few quasi-harsh words of rebuke, just shy of two years after Trump threw White Mike to the Proud Boys, Oath Keepers and other assorted homicidal nitwits.

Hey Mike, remember when you were running for your life? Remember how you refused to get in the limo with Secret Service agents you didn’t know because you thought they might whisk you off to a secret undisclosed final resting place? Remember why that was?

As if Pence was not pathetic enough already, he has once again rebuffed the Jan 6 Committee’s request for his testicles…I mean testimony (he clearly has no testicles). Obviously, few people are in a position to provide first-hand information about the goings on perpetrated by Trump and his not-so-merry-murderous-misfits. The self-proclaimed Bible-thumping patriot, do-gooder and delusional presidential hopeful Pence told an interviewer that “Congress has no right to my testimony.” He might want to have another peek at the Constitution – to understand it, not to disrespect it.

I guess Don and Mike won’t be reviving their old act in ‘24

Speaking Of Sniveling Weasels…

Meanwhile, Pence's ex is busy with his own Profile In Cowardice. Trump has abandoned for the moment his more familiar Profile in Carnage as he is desperately trying to hide from his own shadow. Which is the shadow of innumerable crimes against a number of women, the state of New York, the state of Georgia, democracy, the Constitution, national security, and humanity. Most recently, Trump has taken to defying a congressional subpoena to testify about his words and deeds on that same January day when he hoped to see Mike Pence hanging from a crudely-constructed gallows, erected by people about whom Trump later said, “You're special. We love you.” Words he surely never said to Mike Pence. 

Trump is also trying to run away from all the loser candidates he told to run. And running is clearly not Donald’s strong suit. But it sure is fun to watch. 

The Questions Donald Trump Was Hoping Letterman Would Ask

_____________________________________________________
*If Pence actually believes this, he is even more pathetic and gullible than anyone could have imagined. Knowing Pence, chances are at least as good that he is lying through his teeth.

I. Mangrey reporting.

All He Is Cracked Up To Be

And He Is Completely Cracked Up 

Trump: “I’ve gone decades, decades without a war, the first president to
do it for a long period.”* It sure did seem like decades, that I can tell you.

November 17, 2022

Donald Trump has made the announcement that almost all of America – including much of the Ratpublican Party – was either dreading or preemptively writing jokes about. He had been threatening to do this for quite some time, and did so earlier in the election cycle than anyone before him. Yet another tradition shot to hell by the man who knows no bounds. The announcement that Trump was running for president – for the third time – in order to grift more money from the poor shlubs who keep sending their meager paychecks to the guy who said during his first presidential run, “Did I mention I’m very rich?” Trump also believes that his official candidacy will shield him from the almost infinite number of looming indictments he currently faces.

“I'm a victim. I will tell you. I'm a victim.”*

Many attendees desperately attempted to flee the venue, as the screed went into overtime for no apparent reason. All escape routes were blocked by hired thugs who had all exits blocked until Trump had finally run out of gas, lies, complaints about – you guessed it – Hillary Clinton’s emails and whining about what a victim he was.

Even Fux News cut away from the droning crybaby after a while. Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post made it clear how important Trump’s announcement was by putting the story right up there on P.26:

By all accounts Trump’s announcement was so boring, people were watching videos of paint drying, Twinkies decomposing and still pictures (which actually might have been videos – it’s hard to tell) of Mike Pence during Trump’s speech on their phones to kill the time rather than themselves.

Speaking of human still-life Mike Pence, author of the new book Oh My Fucking God (or something like that), did an interview in support of his book and imagined presidential campaign:

Interviewer: “Did he apologize for putting your life, your wife’s life, your daughter’s life in danger?”

Pence: “(nodding his head) Um…(still nodding his head) not in so many words, but in sentiment he did.”

I believe Pence meant sediment, which might not make any sense, but makes a hell of a lot more sense than accusing Trump of sentiment. 

___________________________________________________
*Actual quote…I shit you not.

I. Mangrey (yawn) reporting.

Indict The Mother Fucker Already

 

Civility Is Highly Overrated

November 16, 2022

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”
President Joseph Biden to heckler, September 5, 2022

Taking a break from my usual tap-dancing around the issues, usually with too many words, let me be attempt to be brief. Fuck Donald Trump. All the way to hell. He should have his own personal Trail of Tears, destination – a prison cell.

This fucker is still whining about the FBI’s “unannounced raid” on Mor-on-Lardo (and bragging about his fucking crowd size on January 6, 2021). Maybe he should talk to Breonna Taylor about unannounced raids. Oh wait, Breonna Taylor is dead. And she did not even steal classified documents from the White House. In fact, Ms. Taylor never did anything wrong before the police came crashing into her home – unannounced – while she lay sleeping in bed. And she ended up shot to death. By police.

Oh, and that unannounced raid on Mor-on-Lardo? It was anything but unannounced. It was not announced to the public out of – yes, it seems ridiculous on its face – respect for a pathetic ex-president. His people knew it was coming well before the raid was carried out. They knew so far in advance that the criminal Trump had time to re-hide some of the stolen documents, and in fact, only became known to the public when professional victim Donald Trump went whimpering to the media about how he had been more wronged than anyone in history. Fuck him and the whores he rode in on.

When I wore this hat to the voting booth – where I,
along with a huge majority of other Americans voted
for Joseph R. Biden for president – in 2020,
the initialism ITMFA stood for:
Impeach The Mother Fucker Already

Last night, the disgraced, twice-impeached, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president announced his third candidacy for President of the United States – even though he claims he is still president-in-exile at Mor-on Lago. This announcement amounts to the earliest filing ever and is nothing more than a bare-orange-faced attempt to thwart the countless looming indictments. Trump thinks that a presidential candidacy will shield him from justice. If he is correct in this – and in strictly legal terms, he is certainly not – then we do not have anything resembling a democracy and someone is, in fact, above the law, if there is in fact real law at all.

I doubt Dan Savage who coined ITMFA would mind a slight adjustment:
                                       Indict The Mother Fucker Already
Fuck Donald Trump.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Post-Election Depression

Are You Sure Your Name Isn’t Karen?

November 15, 2022

Bull goose MAGAt and self-proclaimed Trump-in-heels probably is not the happiest of campers right now. Leading up to the 2022 election, Lake insisted she would accept the result of the Arizona governor’s race between her and Katie Hobbs. The catch as you either know or would easily guess is that as Lake said repeatedly, “I am going to win this race, and I will accept the result.” Well, as of now she has done neither.

We here at Paying Attention always try to treat everyone equally…well, if they deserve it. In the spirit of niceness, we would like to share one of our award-winning new greeting cards, customized especially to make Kari Lake feel a little better after her devastating, completely above-board, legitimate and crushing defeat.

Dear Kari,

 

It must make you sad that most Arizonans - not to mention a huge majority of Americans all across this great land of ours - think you suck. That’s gotta hurt.

 

Hopefully you will take this brutal defeat to heart and drink yourself into a stupor. Maybe even leave the country that thinks you stink.

 

We wish you a long life of abject obscurity. Please, and we mean this in the nicest way possible, don’t show your Trumpy face in public ever again.

 

Now, go home. You’re very special. You love you.

 

Signed,

All the good folks at Paying Attention™

Broken News

It’s Over Donny

November 14, 2022

First, disgraced, twice-impeached, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president Donald Trump, before he became a disgraced, twice-impeached, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president broke with all conventions of politics and democracy – not to mention intelligence, decency, morals, and competence (though he still might have to duke it out with George WTF Bush on that score). Then, Trump managed to lose the presidency, the House and the Senate as his reelection bid melted like his orange pancake makeup in a Mor-on Lago steam bath.

Now, it seems that the numerous humiliating, devastating losses in the 2022 midterms – midterms, which according to history and the endless claims from the Ratpublican propaganda machine should have been a Red Wave, or a Red Tsunami – have finally taken their toll on the only love affair more torrid and nauseating than the one between Trump and Kim Jong Un – the on-again-on-again-again slobber-fest between Trump and the Ratpublican Party.

The following released was released,

Inside, it reads:

Dear Don,

We in the Ratpublican Party finally think it’s time to break it off with you sir. No regrets. We stood by you through the bad times and the worse times. Through the “Mexicans are rapists.” Through the “grab ‘em by the pussy.” Through the “good people on both sides.” Through the brief, embarrassing tryst with Kim.” Through two impeachments. And through the disastrous 2020 and now 2022 election cycles.

If only all your unqualified, belligerent, absurd, anti-democratic candidates had prevailed, we would still love you. But alas, buffoons like Doug Mastriano, Kari Lake (is her given name Karen?), and Dr. Oz (Melania’s fault, we know), among others, made our party – your party – look like stupid losers. And so, we must end this glorious affair…unless of course, you win the 2024 primary.

We hung in there through it all, and now, just saying all those things at once makes us – to quote James Comey when asked how he felt thinking he might have (might have, yeah, right) helped you win in 2016 – “mildly nauseous.”* We feel we need some space – like intergalactic amounts of space – and we think it’s time for us to start seeing other idiots.

So, sir, no hard feelings, well maybe a few, maybe quite a few. And we're so lonely we’re willing to take our chances with almost anyone else, even that classless clod Ron DuhSantis.

Even Ann Coulter says you should “Shut the fuck up, forever.”

And think of poor old Lindsey Graham; you’ve meant so much to him. But good luck sir, with your new Truth Social Party, and may the best fascists win.

We’ll aways remember the good time…surely, there must have been one.

So long, and thanks for all the religious zealots in the Supreme Court.

Now go home. You’re very special. We love you,

The Ratpublican Party

We’ll have to wait and see how long this holds up. They’ve broken up before, but the needy, loathsome Ratpublicans always come slithering back.

__________________________________________________
* Mildly nauseous? Most of America was puking and coughing up blood for five years.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled happy thoughts.

Question For The Day

November 13, 2022

Today's question is:

Is today the day Mehmet Qz finally "moves out" of Pennsylvania? Actual Pennsylvanians want to know. It’s like he was never here.

From the brand new Paying Attention™ Greeting Card Collection:

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Fun Fact For The Day

Doug v. God

November 12, 2022

A quick follow-up to yesterday’s post on Tuesday's big, big loser Doug Mastriano.

Mastriano continues his non-concession stance despite the indisputable, lopsided, humiliating  results of Tuesday’s election. Apparently, Mastriano is waiting for God to intervene in the election that resulted in the Jewish guy smiting yea and verily the Jew-hating nincompoop. Maybe someone should tell Dim Doug that God already did. Or does Doug think God made a mistake? To be fair, by all accounts, God did make Doug. Do the math. I guess Christmas is going to be awkward this year.

Jethro Tull – Wind Up

From the brand new Paying Attention™ Greeting Card Collection:

Just thought you might like to know.
Now wasn’t that fun?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.

BONUS FUN FACT:

The epic battle between Trump and DuhSantis is officially on. Hope it's bloody.