Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Are The End (of Chrump) Times Upon Us?

Who Knows What Indictments Lurk in The Heart of Mueller?

December 5, 2018
Many very intelligent people who know many of the best things are saying that Robert Mueller’s team has recently informed Chrump’s defense team that they are now tying up loose ends and preparing to wrap things up.  Former federal prosecutor Elie Honig made gave his take in a new CNN op-ed, “By the end of this week, we will know much more about the strength of Mueller's hand and the threat his investigation poses to President Donald Trump and his administration. 
Mueller vs. Chrump: The Marine versus The Maroon
Peter Zeidenberg, who was on the Special Counsel prosecution team that investigated the outing of Valerie Plame, which eventually resulted in the indictment and conviction of Scooter Libby, is one of the very intelligent people who thinks Mueller is batting in the ninth inning, with the lead, with three men on base and no outs.  While it is generally assumed that the treasonous act of outing an active CIA field agent was Dick Cheney’s plot to exact revenge for Plame’s husband daring to tell a truth Cheney did not want told (the fact that Iraq did not have WMD), it was Libby who took the fall.  George W. Bush commuted Libby’s sentence at the time, (possibly under threat of a hunting trip with Cheney) and recently, un-President Chrump gave Libby a full pardon.  Zeidenberg recently said, “…expect to see a case of conspiracy to interfere with the 2016 election to be laid out in court.”
In a USA Today op ed Zeidenberg wrote, “Defenders of the president have, despite the obvious progress of the Mueller investigation — more than 30 indictments or guilty pleas, including Trump's campaign chairman, personal lawyer, national security adviser, deputy campaign manager and foreign policy adviser — consistently argued that "no collusion" has been proved.  While it is true that the charges made public have not alleged conspiracy (there is no crime of "collusion") it should be clear to all but the most obtuse by now that the endgame is drawing near. Mueller is laying out the predicate for a wide-ranging conspiracy case that will likely ensnare the president's family and, quite likely, Trump himself.”
Other possibly equally smart people are saying, not so fast.
In any event, un-President Donald Chrump seems increasingly disturbed (I know, it is difficult to tell) as Mueller’s Chrump hunt continues.  The inscrutable, relentless and unflappable Mueller, as Zeidenberg professed, is hot on the trail of any number of Chrumps.  Meanwhile, Chrump’s campaign of obstruction of justice, has jumped the median and swerved into the witness tampering lane.
Chrump praised professional dirty-trickster, all-around sociopath and long-time friend Roger Stone for refusing to submit to questioning by Mueller’s team.  Some people think that presidents should not be encouraging lawlessness, but none of those people have tattoos of Richard Nixon on their back (as Stone does), nor are they apparently living in the White House. 
Stone has since decided to invoke the Fifth Amendment, refusing to provide materials or testimony to Mueller’s team.  Donald Chrump has weighed in on the Fifth Amendment from time to time...
 
Kellyanne Conway’s lawyer husband, no stranger to America’s current favorite sport - Chrump trashing, suggested that Chrump’s ode to Stone is, in fact, witless witness tampering.
Trial at Muellerberg
Seriously Fuxed Up
No one knows when this investigation will end, and who will end up as Mueller’s bitch.  You know things are starting to deteriorate though when Chrump’s very own propaganda machine/advisory board starts hedging their bets on the very fakeness of the Mueller witch hunt.  During a segment on Fux’s “Outnumbered” Monday, one of the hosts wandered out of alternative reality, venturing surprisingly close to the real world.  Lisa Kennedy Montgomery, addressing the current state of the Mueller investigation told her audience, “There might be something there.  There absolutely might be something there.  We don’t know what Mueller has; he might have something.  Things are starting to seem a little weird.”
I. Mangrey reporting. 

Monday, December 3, 2018

Mike Makes Right

The Cohen Bothers
December 3, 2018
The best words from Donald Chrump after falling out with
his very close associate and personal lawyer for 12 years
According to Donald “Please Don’t Lock Me Up” Chrump, his former personal lawyer and one-time vice president of the Trump Organization Michael Cohen is a “very weak person”, who is not a very good lawyer, and is a nothing but a big liar.  “Michael worked for me for a few week, or hours or years, I don’t remember, since he hardly ever did anything for me.  People call him my “fixer.”  If he was fixing for me, how come I had to pay off all those women I never even met?  Never even met them.  Never grabbed ‘em by the pussy.  But I had to pay them all that money?  Michael Cohen did nothing for me.  I think he was a big Hillary Clinton supporter.  They say that he said he would take a bullet for me, but he never did.  Not once.  He is and always has been a terrible liar.  Terrible.  I like liars who don’t get caught.  You don’t see me getting caught.  NO COLLUSION!  Mueller’s obviously got nothing on me and I have the best people on my team.  Mueller knows that and that’s why he’s scared of Chrump.  I have the best people: Mike Flynn, George Papadopoulos, Paul Manafort – these are all great people.  But, not Michael Cohen – I have nothing to do with him.  As I said, I like liars who don’t get caught.”
Mike and Don in happier times, singing a duet from Cats.
They are singing a different tune today.
Now Cohen is singing like a bird, and Chrump is screeching like fingernails on a chalkboard.
At one time there was talk of ditching the whole president thing
and taking over the couch at Fux and Friends.  SAD.

Chrump told a “friend”, “I watch the show for three hours every single day.  Sometimes I watch it twice, like when I call in for an hour or so – those are the best ones.  Very smart, very good people, but I am much funnier, much better looking and so much smarter than all of them and I could do the show much better – probably longer too, why not six hours – and I would get amazing ratings.  Plus, I already have my own blonde – the beautiful Kellyanne and a great sidekick – my good friend and my best lawyer, Mike Cohen.”

I. Mangrey slinging mud.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Thought For The Day


Lock-him-up Talk

December 2, 2018
Is it still necessary for a president to be impeached if he is in jail?  I’m just asking.
Finally, a way to make un-President Chrump look good in orange
This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.
You're welcome.
What is your thought for the day?

Saturday, December 1, 2018

It Can’t Be Happening Here…Unless It Already Is

I’m Pretty Sure It’s Happening Here

December 1, 2018
“The Senator was vulgar, almost illiterate, a public liar easily detected, and in his "ideas" almost idiotic, while his celebrated piety was that of a traveling salesman for church furniture, and his yet more celebrated humor the sly cynicism of a country store.
Certainly there was nothing exhilarating in the actual words of his speeches, nor anything convincing in his philosophy. His political platforms were only wings of a windmill.”
                                                Sinclair Lewis, It Can't Happen Here

First edition cover
With It Can't Happen Here, originally published in October 1935, Sinclair Lewis offered up an unsettling tale of Berzelius Windrip, a duly elected American president who is an empty-headed, duplicitous, unabashed authoritarian, who uses the presidency and the nation for his personal enrichment, demands unwavering loyalty while showing absolutely none in return, has no respect for democracy or the laws of the land, and who despises the free press.  Hmmmmm, why does this seem so familiar? 
Briefly, Senator Berzelius "Buzz" Windrip, is a charismatic and power-hungry politician.  Windrip wins the 1936 nomination, wresting his party’s leadership from sitting President Franklin Delano Roosevelt at the Democratic convention, then easily beats his Republican opponent, Senator Walt Trowbridge. Windrip runs on a populist platform, promising to restore the country to prosperity and greatness, promising each citizen $5,000 a year, and portraying himself as a champion of traditional U.S. values.  This unthinkable fiction is now in progress.  It is in fact happening here.  Presently, it is not a fait accompli.  Not yet.
“Why are you so afraid of the word ‘Fascism,’ Doremus? Just a word—just a word! And might not be so bad, with all the lazy bums we got panhandling relief nowadays, and living on my income tax and yours—not so worse to have a real Strong Man, like Hitler or Mussolini—like Napoleon or Bismarck in the good old days—and have ‘em really run the country and make it efficient and prosperous again. ‘Nother words, have a doctor who won’t take any back-chat, but really boss the patient and make him get well whether he likes it or not!”
                                                Sinclair Lewis, It Can't Happen Here
Chrump tries desperately to pretend to read what he thinks is a how-to book
Presumably it can happen anywhere, and having a racist, anti-democratic, mentally defective narcissist as prezident is a solid first step to American fascism.  Fortunately, the first meaningful sign of push-back began on November 6th.  This is not entirely true, since a very meaningful sign of resistance took place on January 21, 2017 – the day after the barely legitimate (as far as appears true as of this writing) inauguration of the real-life Buzz Windrip.  The massive Women’s March on Washington, which became a historic global event, made clear that the majority of Americans, who voted against the pseudo-prezident (as well as concerned people around the world), were not prepared to take Chrump’s ignorance, racism and lying, lying down. 
A larger, potentially more significant event would have to wait almost two years, until the 2018 midterm elections – a chilling crossroad, which might prove to be the most significant turning point in American history since a ragtag file of demonstrators threw 342 chests of tea into Boston Harbor.
It turns out that the size of the Democratic steamrolling of Chrump’s Republican’t party on November 6th was the largest midterm margin of victory in American history.  Democrats outpolled Republicans by 8.8 million in the overall House popular vote.  The only other election that came close was in 1974, when Richard Nixon poisoned the Republican’t well by Watergating America and Democrats outdid the GOP by 8.7 million votes. 


I. Mangrey reporting.  The people, united, will never be defeated.

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Chrump v. HIs Own Words

Donald Cooks Up Some Word Salad (Beware of The E. Coli)

November 29, 2018 

On Thanksgiving, a reporter was either foolish, clueless, hopeful or desperate enough to ask, “What are you most thankful for, Mr. President?”  To the surprise of no one, America’s Top Turkey answered, “For having a great family* and for having made a tremendous difference in this country.  I made a tremendous difference in the country.  This country is so much stronger now than it was when I took office that you won't believe it and I mean, you see it, but so much stronger that people can't even believe it (actual quote**).”  I am not so sure that is the part people can’t believe.  But hey, what the hell do I know?  I am neither delusional moron, nor minority-elected prezident of the United States.

“…I have a gut, and my gut tells me more sometimes than anybody else’s brain can ever tell me.”
                                           Donald J. Trump, November 27, 2018
Chrump continued… 

“My gut doesn’t believe scientists, those idiots are always using their brains – no guts.  The very stupid, filled with fake Democrats, CIA has no idea what they’re talking about.  They rely on intelligence.  I love the poorly educated because they know to listen to their very, very large uh, guts.  I don’t believe Monkey-face Bob Mueller – he was too stupid to get bone spurs and ended up being a Marine.  He could have easily been killed doing that.  Not Chrump.  Chrump played it safe and smart.  I like Marines who didn’t get shot.  I don't believe Michael Cohen, never did – very weak individual, barely know the guy, probably not even a real lawyer.  I wouldn’t know.  Mostly he brought me cofvefe and sandwitches for lunch.  A real loser if you ask me.  I’ll stick with my very, very large uh-gut.
One wonders if he can hear his own voice

“I have to tell you how glad I am that I’m doing such an amazing job as president.  No one ever doubted me, but I’m exceeding my own incredible expectations.  One of the most amazing things about it, is that I don’t have the slightest clue how any of this works.  Not a clue.  Don’t know how many branches or twigs the government has – I just know that the Church is one of them.  Never read the Constitution book – not even the Corinthians part, but it doesn’t even matter.  That’s how great a job I’m doing.  I won my very first election with no help at all, by a very big margin by the way – the biggest of all time I believe.  And then I won the midterms with an almost complete victory.  Amazing, all those candidates that I got elected with my incredible embrace.  I just have an amazing instinct for all this stuff.  America is so lucky to have Donald Chrump – I just wish I was a regular citizen so I could enjoy all the winning and greatness I have created for America.
 
I am going to take care of all the unfair, fake media, the unfair judges, fake witch hunt, and all the fake parts of the so-called Constitution.  I am going to put the con back in Constitution very soon, very soon.  I’m going to do it, that I can tell you.  Very soon.  I’m also going to look very carefully at all the fake intelligence.  I’m starting to think that all intelligence is fake…except for mine.  I have the best intelligence, certainly the most.  I know I can always trust my judgment.  Always. 

Even my new Attorney General/temp thinks the Mueller witch hunt is a witch hunt.  He’s been saying this for years, like so many other very smart people.  Very smart, believe me.  It’s not me saying this, it’s him, and I don’t even know the guy.  Never met him.  I don’t even know his name.  He probably doesn’t even know I’m the president.  I never told him.  He would never shut down such a witch hunt.  Why would he?  It’s no big deal.  I never think about it at all.  It will be over soon.  Never should have started. 
This Mueller business is much worse than the fake murder of a fake reporter who was known to be an enemy of the state in Saudi Arabia – a really great place with very nice people who spend lots of dollars on Chrump.  These are very smart and nice people who would never hurt anyone.  Why do you think Bush didn’t attack them after 9/11?  I know why because of my incredible intellect, but you should figure it out for yourself.  I don’t know why the CIA wants to blame Jared’s good friend Mohammed bin Salman.  I don’t see why he would*** have done this.  My gut likes him very much.  I just might pardon bin Salman, who is a very nice, very strong and powerful man by the way, if I have to.”
Surely, and unfortunately, we have not heard the last of Donald Chrump, and we will continue to bring you the important Chrump news as it happens…even if we have to make it up.  Speaking of making things up, it would be helpful if Chrump would make up his “mind”.  Is he a Saudi stooge or a Russian Stooge?
_____________________
*Okay, so this part was a surprise.
**Seriously.  Not kidding.  He said this.  With his face sphincter.
***Did he mean ‘wouldn’t?’
I. Mangrey recreating. 

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Who’s Dreaming of A Red Christmas?

The Color Orange

November 28, 2018
It appears that Melania Chrump has found a way to make her strangely hued husband look less orange-y.
What a thoughtful holiday* gift from the Worst Lady. He almost looks human.
________________________________
*That’s right bitches, I said holiday.

Monday, November 26, 2018

Thought For The Day

Still Frothing After All These Years

November 26, 2018                                              
 
 
It seems like only yesterday (it actually was) we were talking about the environment and climate change.  What seemed like fairly exhaustive coverage of all the stupidity turned out to be anything but.  The predictably useless former Senator from Pennsylvania managed to add his one cent.

“A lot of these scientists are driven by the money that they receive. Of course, they don't receive money from corporations and Exxon and the like. Why? Because they're not allowed to because it's tainted. But they can receive it from people who support their agenda and that, I believe, is what's really going on here…California is burning because they have bad forestry policies that left lots of fuel there for people on the floor of these forests to allow these fires to get out of control.”
        Deranged ex-one-term Senator Rick Santorum fact-freely weighing in on climate change

Why is Rick Santorum still allowed on television?  Why is CNN paying him to froth on air every weekHe claims to be a devoutly religious man, yet every time he opens his mouth, he proves he is an idiot and/or soulless hypocrite.  I wonder if he would enjoy a nice hunting trip with Dick Cheney.  I’m sure we could crowd fund it.


This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome. 

What is your thought for the day? 

Sunday, November 25, 2018

It’s The Environment, Stupid

Plus, It’s the Stupid

November 25, 2018
“Carbon dioxide has a strange property. It transmits visible light but it absorbs the infrared radiation which is emitted from the earth. Its presence in the atmosphere causes a greenhouse effect [….] It has been calculated that a temperature rise corresponding to a 10 per cent increase in carbon dioxide will be sufficient to melt the icecap and submerge New York. All the coastal cities would be covered, and since a considerable percentage of the human race lives in coastal regions, I think that this chemical contamination is more serious than most people tend to believe.”
Hungarian-born physicist Edward Teller joined the Manhattan Project after emigrating to the United States.  He was the guest of honor at a gala celebrating the 100th anniversary of the oil industry in America in New York City.  The November 1959 event was organized by the American Petroleum Institute.  The opening quote is Teller’s from this event.
Teller advocated excessive nuclear force, and also advocated controversial technological solutions to both military and civilian problems.  He devised a plan to excavate an artificial harbor in Alaska using thermonuclear explosives, and later vigorously advocated Ronald Reagan's Strategic Defense Initiative (known as Space Force…I mean Star Wars).  Okay, so no one is perfect.
Full disclosure: Edward Teller believed in science
Earth Last!
Shortly after the most recent devastating hurricane – Michael – to demolish parts of Florida, the dehydrated, diminutive, demented Marco Rubio, one of many Chrump haters that became Chrump lackeys, said of the accelerating warming of the Earth’s climate, “No matter what we do with laws – let’s say we went to all solar panels and did all that stuff, which is not realistic – this trend would still continue.”  Spoken like a true oil-soaked mental midget.  When Chrump called him “Little Marco”, I always assumed he was referring to his limited height, who knew he was referring to his diminutive intellectual capacity.
The United Nations’ Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change issued a report, warning that the world is on a path toward catastrophic climate change if greenhouse gas emissions aren’t cut dramatically by 2030.  The report, made public in early October of this year says the world needs to decrease emissions by 45 percent by 2030 to avoid catastrophic consequences.
Chrump’s newest financial wise-guy, ex-Reagan administration official, ex-Wall Street analyst Larry Kudlow responded thus, “The issue here though is magnitudes and timing. [whatever the hell that means] Personally I think the U.N. study is – is over – way, way too difficult. I won’t say it’s a scare tactic, but I think they overestimate.”  But you did say scare tactic Larry, you did.
Once again, Republican’ts show they will not be dissuaded from their colossal idiocy by a bunch of egghead experts.
Now, the Toxic Orange Gas Cloud we call prezident offers this outstanding bit of stupid:
 


Donald Chrump was forced once again to act presidential by touring some of the devastation on the heels of the horrendous and deadly November California fires.  Chrump twice referred to the town of Paradise as Pleasure, finally corrected by California Governor Gerry Brown.  The following exchange took place…
Reporter: Does seeing this devastation, though, change your opinion at all on climate change Mr. President?” 
Chrump: “No. No. I have a strong opinion.  I want great climate and we’re going to have that.”


Not-So-Fun Facts

Researchers estimated that humanity has destroyed as much as 60 percent of the world's animal population since 1970, and a study found that oceans have retained 60 percent more heat each year than was previously thought.
A dead sperm whale that washed up in a national park in Indonesia had about 13 pounds of plastic waste in its stomach.  Rescuers discovered a large lump of plastic waste inside the 31-foot mammal’s carcass.  The mass included 115 drinking cups, four plastic bottles, 25 plastic bags, two flip-flops, a nylon sack and more than 1,000 other assorted pieces of plastic.
After inspecting the devastation from the latest historic California fires, inferior Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke told reporters, “it’s not the time for finger-pointing” on the causes of the fires.  Several breaths later Zinke, an avid anti-environmentalist who is under multiple investigations for abusing his office added, “I will lay this on the foot of those environmental radicals that have prevented us from managing the forests for years. And you know what? This is on them.”  How can you argue with someone who constantly claims to be a geologist?  
Zinke has claimed to be a geologist at least 40 times in public settings, including many under oath before Congress.  He studied geology, “as a result of closing my eyes and randomly pointing to a major from the academic catalog, and I never looked back.”  He has clearly never looked forward either.  Zinke has never held a job as a geologist.  He is a professional piece of shit. 
Speaking of the environment and the stupid, lest you think the Republican’ts staggering stupidity around the environment is anything new…

He may look stupid, but don’t let his looks fool you… 
Quayle is much dumber than he looks.
Or, in the inimitable words of Fredonia President Rufus T. Firefly…
 

Lost, But Not Least

The Chrump administration hid the release of an alarming report on climate change behind Thanksgiving.  They made the damning study public on Black Friday hoping no one would notice their HOAX.


The Hoax-in-chief says everything is just fine
According to the report, the U.S. is on track to lose hundreds of billions of dollars due to climate change-related costs, see its most vulnerable populations decimated by extreme weather events and face the specter of a contaminated water supply.

The report concludes, “While Americans are responding in ways that can bolster resilience and improve livelihoods, neither global efforts to mitigate the causes of climate change nor regional efforts to adapt to the impacts currently approach the scales needed to avoid substantial damages to the U.S. economy, environment, and human health and well-being over the coming decades.”
I. Mangrey reporting. Oy.

Friday, November 23, 2018

The Old Ball and Cheney

You Make Me Dizzy Miss Lizzy…Well, More Nauseous Than Dizzy

November 23, 2018
The Republican’t Party, the party of Chrump (not Lincoln, not Reagan – the former was never true, and the latter is ancient, ostensibly disavowed history; they are more accurately the party of a couple of Dicks - Nixon and Cheney, Newt Gingrich and Ted Bundy – yes, that Ted Bundy) has named someone with a very familiar surname as the third-ranking member of their Congressional caucus.  That person is none other than Liz Cheney, daughter of the torture-loving, CIA operative-outing, face-shooting, war-mongering asshole who pretended to need a wheelchair so as not to stand during the inauguration of Barack Obama, and historic dick, Richard Bruce Cheney.  To commemorate her promotion to this auspicious post, I will quote her dear (unfortunately not departed) dad, “Go fuck yourself.”
The incredible Cheneys: Like father, like daughter
The Republican’ts also have a brand new boogie-man, boogie-woman actually, for decades they have had their favorite target – Hillary Clinton, and their backup manufactured malefactor – Nancy Pelosi.  Both of these women have been demonized relentlessly for as long as anyone can remember.  Donald Chrump is still going after Hillary, still longing and chanting, along with his mindless minions, to lock her up.  Pelosi, for her part, may yet have the last, or at least the next, laugh.
Republican’ts, never to be deterred from finding women to fear attack, have already found their next manufactured culprit.  The new target of their afflictions is none other than Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.  Ocasio-Cortez has the extra added bonus of not only being a woman, but also a woman of color.  She is also very young – the youngest woman ever elected to the House of Representatives.  This of course will enable Republican’ts to excoriate Ocasio-Cortez right up until the Earth has been fried, flooded and fucked as a result of Republican’ts’ psychotically aggressive efforts to maintain and accelerate climate change.
The still-growing Blue Wave, currently giving Democrats at least a 39-seat pickup in the House of Representatives – which would have been considerably larger if not for gerrymandering and voter suppression…you know, cheating – which outdid the Tea Party wave of 2010 in sheer numbers.  The Tea Party garnered six percent more popular votes, while the 2018 Blue Wave outvoted Republican’ts by eight percent.  Or as Donald Chrump called it (albeit accidentally ironically), “very close…to complete victory.”
Facts are stubborn things

The majority Democratic 116th Congress will surely be turning a much more critical, rather than a blind, eye at the 45th prezident’s long, salacious and relentlessly criminal history, not to mention his ongoing campaign of obstruction of justice, and his relatively recent ENORMOUS COLLUSION with Russian agents to steal the 2016 election.  Finally, Chrump will be scrutinized, but we can be assured that regardless of any efforts to keep him in check, he will never be balanced.  I suppose one out of two ain’t bad.

Bitch McConnell has coined a new phrase – “presidential harassment”.  I assume that this miserable piece of shit – from the party of presidential harassment – is referring to the temerity of the American electorate to vote for representation that would stop the Toxic Orange Gas Cloud from suffocating the democracy that McConnell has been busily choking to death in his own way.
Jim Accosted
In further tales of fascism, Jim Acosta, who managed to stand his First Amendment ground after being brutally assaulted by one of Chrump’s thugs, has been vindicated by a Chrump-appointed judge.  Acosta was attempting to ask Petulant Chrump a question when he was, at the direction of the Petulant, viciously assaulted by a woman who tried to wrest the microphone from the unyielding reporter.  Nevertheless, Acosta persisted, survived the attack, and managed to ask his questions to a peevish and uncooperative Chrump, before yielding and ultimately having his press credentials revoked by the would-be-dictator. 
Acosta bravely fends off Chrump henchman’s attempt to thwart the First Amendment
After further whining by Hair Chrump, threatening further punishment for Acosta, the White House has finally (for now at least) relented and fully reinstated Acosta’s press credentials.  In another stunningly pathetic display of weakness masquerading as showing-who’s-boss, new heavy-handed rules of engagement for reporters on the White House beat are to be implemented to keep reporters in their place – yes even the white, male ones…in theory.  We’ll have to wait and see what happens.
I. Mangrey refreshing.  Koyaanisqatsi, baby!