Gone, But Not Forgiven

Too Many Kooks Fuck Everything Up

May 19, 2021

The most recent ex-president, currently a little-read blogger languishing in Florida, may be exercising undue influence on the carcass of the Ratpublican Party, as he continues grabbing the party writ large by the pussy. He is desperately attempting to remain relevant and seems well positioned to hold the lily-livered party hostage, on the wings of the Qanon movement. There is one main problem with Pouty McFuckface being out of office and therefore relatively removed from public view, because after all, no one with more than a single-digit IQ really gave a shit what he did or said other than when we had to pay attention on account of him occupying the White House and all.

I’m so happy I beat Joe Biden

The problem is, now that the Orange Gas Cloud has finally begun dissipating, it is much easier to see, hear and become violently ill from the myriad malevolent, misguided morons that were (and still are) at his bark and call. The rancid rolodex of knuckle-draggers, like psychotic fruitbat Rep. Marjorie Taylor Goon (R-Cuckoo’s Nest), heat-packin’ human hemorrhoid Lauren Boebert (R-NRA), alleged pedophile/sex trafficker/druggie Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), Hitler aficionado Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-E. Berlin), Paul Gosar (R-Middle Ages) who saw six of his siblings campaign against him and who now want him kicked out of Congress, single-digit-IQ Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Alternate Reality), Turmp-castrated Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-Turmp’s Butt) and of course, Rudy “Four Sleazins” Giuliani*, are sickeningly more discernable now that there is better contrast in which to view this quivering mass of maggots on which Demented Don has been crowd surfing.

But Wait, There’s Moron…

It would be irresponsible not to mention the latest non-compos mentis member of the malignant mob formerly known as the Republican Party – Rep. Andrew Clyde (R-WTF). Clyde publicly insisted that the treasonous MAGA insurrection of January 6, 2021 was nothing more than a “normal tourist visit” of the nation’s Capital. Soon after Clyde’s tone-deaf, brain-dead assertion, images of this corrosive clown emerged from that fateful day. You, yourself may have seen other images, and perhaps hours of video footage that you, being of sound mind and body, in no way mistook for a “normal tourist visit” of Congress.

Clyde (circled) et al, apparently barricading the House chamber to

prevent pleasant tourists from observing Congress in action;

just another normal day of barricading at the Capital

Clyde being protected (presumably by a good guy with a gun) from

normal tourist visitors hell bent on getting his autograph (one assumes)

It appears that Rep. Clyde has an irrational fear of children and other normal citizens who tend to tour the Capital. There is no known example of Capital tourists smashing windows to gain entrance, as they always use doors (or risk being disinvited). I have searched, but was unable to find a single instance of tourists using the halls of Congress for bathroom activities, or chanting “Hang Mike Pence” or building gallows just outside before beginning their perfectly “normal tourist visit”. No previous group of tourists trashed the Speaker’s office or searched for legislators to kill, or murdered Capital Police. Either Clyde knows something no one else knows, or knows nothing everyone else knows. Bet on the latter. When later challenged by a reporter, Clyde claimed that he was taken out of context, though his insane, alternative facting of the event was the context. 

It is also possible that Clyde does not know the difference between a tourist and a terrorist.

*Not to mention the usual horde of Turmp-flip-flopping fuck-ups who the Orange Ogre humiliated and now owns lock-stock-and-bullshit, like Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and a majority of the Supreme Court. And too many others too stupid to mention.

I. Mangrey, on offense and often offended.