The
Insurrection Will Not Be Televised (By Fux News)
June 9, 2022
“Just remember, what you’re seeing and what
you’re reading is not what’s happening.”
George Orwell Donald J. Trump, July 2018
“We have a two-teared [I
assume he spelled it wrong in his very empty head] justice system. If you’re a
Republican, you can’t even lie to Congress or lie to an FBI agent or they’re
coming after you. They’re gonna bury you. They’re gonna put you in the DC jail.”
Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Byberry)
You Heard It Here Last
(Hopefully)
Tonight, as America (hopefully) takes a brief respite from mass gun
murders to focus on saving our democracy, Fux News will not be wasting their viewers’
worthless time by airing the incredibly important, prime time, soon-to-be-Emmy-nominated,
live hearing of the House Select Committee on the January 6 insurrection. Instead,
Fux will be airing a Leni Riefenstahl film festival, a retrospective of Hillary
Clinton’s emails and Anthony Weiner’s dick pics, after which they will be
showing the murder of George Floyd on a loop for two hours with a Ted Nugent soundtrack.
As the Select
Committee was being formed the political arm of Fux News – the Ratpublican
Party – refused to take part in any investigation into their leader's
conspiracy to overturn Joe Biden's election. All but two Ratpublican members of
the House derided the very idea deciding to instead spend their time obfuscating
and fabricating even though many of them knew full well that they were doing
so. The rest of them are either too far gone to have any connection with
reality, or worse were part of the plot to overthrow the government. Many of
them claimed it was a witch hunt. Apparently, now that it has been discovered
that there was a were covens of witches, Fux wants to distract their
soft-brained viewers from any inconvenient truths that may have been unearthed.
They Hang Traitors, Don’t They?
The fakes at Fux cannot risk having their Silly-Putty-brained
audience exposed to non-alternative facts. Their fragile minds could be permanently
injured if exposed to what really happened in their names. They would be
traumatized by previously unseen footage of fuckwits just like them, laying
siege to the Capitol. The air in their heads would heat up and expand to
explosion if they are forced to acknowledge that their beloved disgraced, twice-impeached,
two-time-popular-vote-losing, one-term, seditious, ex-president and failed
blogger was as fully engaged and implicated in the treasonous act as a previous
Ratpublican president was when he ordered the break-in and subsequent cover-up
known as Watergate. Except that guy managed to get reelected before becoming a
pariah.
The complete lack of coverage by right-wing media of one of the most important hearings since Watergate will be anchored by none other than the race-baiting, fact-averse, neo-fascist propagandist Fucker Criminy Swanson Carlson. Who better to ignore reality and keep his lethally ignorant viewers comfortably dumb?
Donald Tmurp – The Voice of Treason
“So
look, all I want to do is this, I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one
more than we have (sic) [he meant “need” but is too stupid to complete a sentence].”
Donald J. Trump to Georgia’s secretary of state on January 4, 2021, just
two days before he let loose his dogs of war on the Capitol to overthrow the
American government he pretended to lead
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
anxiety.
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