July 17, 2022
After extensive
talks with himself, the 45th and disgraced, twice-impeached, treasonous, ex-one-term-president and failed
blogger has apparently decided that he has made a decision regarding his
stunning and futile attempt to become America’s 47th and final
president.
Turmp told reporters
that should never have given him the time of day, “Well, in my own mind, I’ve
already made that decision, so nothing factors in anymore. In my own mind, I’ve
already made that decision.” Forgetting the fact that he was trying to keep
“that decision” as a teaser but is chronically unable to control what his mouth
says, the Orange Gas Cloud added that his “big decision” was really whether he announces
“that decision” before or after the midterm elections. “Do I go before or
after? That will be my big decision.” Such big decisions for such a tiny,
mildewed brain.
The funny thing is,
Turmp never stopped running since the day he oozed down that escalator and went
full Furor. He didn’t stop running in 2016 – after winning the (anti)Electoral
College – whining incessantly about not winning bigly enough. Turmp continued to
fight for the size of his “victory” (and his crowd size) until he lost by a
landslide in 2020. To this day, he is still running to be president in 2020 as
he “decides” what to do about 2024.
One who is not a
lawyer might wonder if it would not be wise, if not necessary to indict a
person alleged to have committed high crimes, not to mention misdemeanors and
dereliction of duty, before such an unhinged individual who has led a life of
crime, formally announced a presidential candidacy. I’m just asking questions,
not in proper question form admittedly, but looking for answers nonetheless. Running
for president should not be a
get out of being-frog-marched-into-court-and-hopefully-thrown-in-jail free
card.
In any event, should
Turmp attempt to use another presidential run as a shield against justice,
Merrick Garland would to well to take a page out of Mitch Fucking McConnell’s
playbook and piss all over convention and completely ignore any and all
election schedules, indict the motherfucker, and give him a trial that is as
fair as Garland’s Supreme Court nomination process.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
fear and loathing.
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