August 26, 2023
Donald Junta Trump
continues his inexorable descent, this time sans escalator, as celebrated in song on our Grammy-ignored “tribute”
to the Trump debacle, Stairway
To Prison…
And now, a few words
about Don Trump’s weekly indictment/arrest. His latest come-to-justice moment,
in case you missed it, took place at the Fulton County Jail in Atlanta, Georgia
at the behest of District Attorney Fani Willis, who has been building a bigly
case against defendant Trump and his band of treacherous cretins who attempted
by various means to overturn Joe Biden’s super clean electoral victory in the
Peach State. Ironically, Trump has gone to great lengths to not only steal Georgia’s
election, but to defame the color peach by coloring himself from chin to split
ends in that hue, or something like it.
For some strange
reason, Trump and all his demented devotees have managed to turn themselves in
before the Georgia deadline. Unfortunately, this means that we will not be
treated to election-criminal-mastermind John Eastman being escorted out of his
home in his underwear for a second time. All of these fuckers should be held
until trial. Maybe this would get them to stop stalling. The American people
have a right to a speedy trial.
One big, crappy crime family of the best people – The Fulton County 19 in all their gory:
For his part, Trump sees his arrest as just another fundraising opportunity. There is already a collection of loser merch designed to appeal to the mentally-challenged, financially-deprived (yet willing to cough up their money to fund a guy who brags about how rich he is - do they actually know he's lying?) MAGAt crowd. Trump will not be satisfied until he bleeds each and every one of his pathetic cult followers dry. Rumor has it that Trump is in the process of getting his properties out of his name and into Don, Jr.’s to avoid losing them when he skips bail, or gets fined to death. It seems this rumor may have been debunked, but given the current climate – due in no small part to the actions of Trump the elder – this is insufficient reason to cease flogging the story. Just in case.
For the record, I’m
willing to bet that should the Teflon Troll manage to slither out of justice’s
grasp, there will be a great gnashing of teeth, and angst and despair. There will
not however be an assault on the Capitol, the courthouse, or Mor-on-Lago. Should justice in fact
be served, you can bet someone undeserving will wind up dead.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled dancing in the streets.
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