Everything-Is-Broken News – Nice Government You Got There

Show Me The Money And Show Him The Door

February 15, 2025

Can someone please tell me again how much money Hunter Biden allegedly received from foreign interests because of his father’s name?

Okay, I’ll tell you.

Records indicate that Hunter Biden, who at the time of his being investigated was a former drug user, received $11 million from Ukrainian company Burisma. Yeah, that sucks but…

Can You Say Conflict Of Interest?

Current ketamine abuser* and unelected president of the United States fElon Musk’s Tesla company is listed as the recipient of the largest expected State Department contract, in the amount of $400 million worth of “Armored Tesla”. Whatever the fuck that is. Pretty wild. That might be more than Don raked in during his entire first term. fElon did it within the first month. Makes sense though, a sizeable portion of Musk’s wealth already comes from our tax dollars, so what’s a few hundred more million. Tesla and SpaceX have already raked in $250 million of our tax dollars just this year. That's in addition to the billions Zyklon Musk has vacuumed out of our treasury in the past.

In case you’re wondering just what-the-fuck that is, here’s a picture of his Cybertruck after he told the world about its “literally bulletproof” “exoskeleton” and unbreakable (according to Musk) “metal glass” windows and then had his henchman throw a steel ball – by hand – at the window. fElon laughed it off and had him try another window.

“But it didn’t go through,” Musk pathetically pointed out.

Are We Missing Something?

Oh yeah, lest we forget, Jared Fucking Kushner, whose felon father was pardoned by Trump and sentenced to be ambassador to France, got a nice little $2 billion gift from the lovely Saudis. Not allegedly. For doing nothing of which we have been made aware.

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*We should be glad he’s not an alcoholic like new Defense Secretary Hegseth, or whatever the hell is wrong with ex-heroin junkie and new Secretary of Death and Human Funerals,  RFingK, Jr. Right?

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Fight Club.

UPDATE

After much reporting on fElon’s $400 million gift for fake armored Cyberfucks, the “government”, i.e., acting-president fElon Musk, has suspended this expenditure. Presumably until the smoke clears and the mirrors can be repositioned, and the American public can be fleeced by Musk. One imagines Musk’s benefactor/lackey Trump will get a taste.