March 20, 2022
The Senate voted 100-0 to end Daylight
Savings Time. It is almost impossible to get all 100 senators to agree that the
sky is up. After the vote it was learned that Ratpublicans thought they were putting
a stop to Gay Rights Saving.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
time issues.
Enough With This Bipartisanshit
March 19, 2022
Why?
To be fair Americans elected Biden to implement a
pro-people/pro-planet agenda that flies in the face of his corporate donor’s
wishes. Mansion’s abhorrence of Build Back Better is understandable. This
dangerous agenda would do things like raise the minimum wage above its current,
barely-subsistence level, provide child care, fight the snowballing climate
catastrophe and bolster critical and humane human infrastructure. All of this frivolous
spending would divert monies that could very easily end up in Mansion’s donors’
already overflowing pockets, while at the same time raising their taxes to help
pay for it all. Even though Mansion refuses to allow
any of his sugar daddies’ hardly-earned money to find its way into the hands of
the desperately poor, or to fight the deadly climate crisis, or fund any other
equally silly pursuits, common wisdom holds that it is much better to have him peddling
his putrid political agenda as a Democrat than as a Ratpublican.
Mansion said he could work with his friends across
the aisle. He was either stupid or lying. Could be both. Who am I to judge? Either
way, in the end he was full of shit. Not one single Ratpublican signed on to Mansion’s
watered-down voting rights package. He assured everyone he could get ten. Continuing
to insist that everything had to be bipartisan, and finding at every turn that
not one single vote from the other side was forthcoming, he turned his back not
on those intransigent bastards who would see America burn to the ground before they
would ever reach across the aisle to compromise, but on his own supposed party.
It
is claimed that Mansion often votes with his fellow Dems on various issues. So,
if he was actually a Ratpublican would he stop voting for things he voted for
while pretending to be a Democrat? Would he simply obey Mitch Fucking McConnell
as opposed to taking a daily dump into the hat of his party’s current Senate
leader Chuck Schumer? Is this the kind of person you really want associated
with your party just because he sometimes agrees with you when it suits his keepers,
but hangs you out to dry when it really counts? Would you let this two-faced,
coal-powered corporate gofer
pretend to represent your interests?
Mansion
continues to intentionally and relentlessly sabotage Biden’s agenda in favor of
his corporate overlords and his own coal-fired fortunes.
And it goes without saying that Kyrsten Sinema and
every single Ratpublican are equally to blame for Biden’s inability to carry
out the agenda for which he was elected.
I. Mangrey im-Manchining a better future.
No Mas(ks)
March 18, 2022
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Night.
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What is your thought
for the night?
March 17, 2022
Unless something drastic
is done with the Extreme Court, American justice, such as it has been, will be
nothing but just another word for nothing left to lose. It you thought the
Citizens United decision was devastating, and I’m guessing you did, and if you
thought the gutting of the Voting Rights Act in 2013 via Shelby
County v. Holder, which I’m certain you did, you ain’t seen
nothin’ yet. With at least three rabid radical right-wing religious rubes, two
of whom sit in stolen seats, and one of whom is Mr. Ginni Thomas, the sewer’s
the limit.
After the Shelby
decision, which saw Chief Justice John Roberts, who had been dreaming for
decades of destroying
voting rights, cast the deciding vote, Roberts justified
his heinous vote by implying that racism in America was a thing of the past.
All those pre-Reconstruction, seditious Slave States had been essentially
required to report to their electoral probation officer since they could not be
trusted to allow black folks to vote. These states had according to Roberts, done
their time, done been rehabilitated and should be allowed to do whatever the
fuck they want going forward, especially since Barack Obama was sitting
president.
Can you guess what
happened next? You don’t have to guess, because you know damn well what
happened next. Before the disappearing ink had even dried on this horrendous,
racist decision, all those White-Makes-Right states started turning back the
hands of electoral time. Naturally, they did not turn back all the clocks, just
the ones where most of the black folks lived.
Deconstructing
Reconstruction
The Turmp-addled Extreme
Court has once again stood up for racist gerrymandering, this time overturning
a lower court decision to stop electoral shenanigans in Alabama. Roberts sided
with the three powerless liberals on the court on strictly procedural grounds,
but that was not enough to stop white-activist Justice Mr. Ginni Thomas and his
even whiter cohorts from continuing their assault on the Voting Rights Act.
New reporting has
revealed that Ginni Thomas was very busy hawking Tmurp’s Big Lie and working
feverishly to support the insurrection and overturn Joe Biden’s election.
The Extreme Court continues to hack away at voting rights in general with the express purpose of making it more difficult for black people to vote, and of achieving one-party rule in perpetuity. A recent example of which was the Court meddling in election laws of Alabama. States’ rights bitches!
Elena Kagan was not pleased with her colleagues siding with the racists: “It does a disservice to the District Court which meticulously applied the Court’s longstanding voting rights precedent. And most of all it does a disservice to Black Alabamians who under that precedent have had their electoral power diminished.”
“Alabama is not entitled to keep violating Black Alabamians’ voting rights just because the court’s order came down in the first month of an election year.”
John Roberts thought his colleagues should have left the lower court’s decision alone: “I respectfully dissent…the District Court properly applied existing law in an extensive opinion with no apparent errors for our correction.”
I wonder if John
Roberts still believes that racism is over and dark money in politics is
working out really well. Just kidding. He never believed any such thing.
Side
SCOTUS Note: Unfortunately for Tmurp, the justices he was conned into
appointing by Bitch McConnell, as directed by the anti-democratic Federalist
Society, were only brought on to rid the nation of legalized abortion, to erase
voting rights for people of color and replace the ballot with the buy-out by
making corporations people and money speech. They were not installed – against
the wishes of the majority of the American public – to protect Donald Tmurp. And
so, the Court had a momentary lapse of treason and denied Tmrup’s appeal to
keep documents that belong to the American people hidden from the Jan 6
Commission. I bet he wishes he’d had a bigger toilet.
But
Wait, That’s Just The Tip Of The Shitberg
This
artificially (i.e., stolen) ballooned radical-white-wing-extremist court is
more than willing to toss decades of laws, regulations and democracy into the
trash bin of history. If anyone still thinks there might be unintended
consequences if a Democratic administration dares to expand the Supreme Court,
just take a look at the intended consequences that the current Nein…I mean Nine
are well on their way to implementing. They are poised to make the Tmurp days,
which made the Bush years look like Camelot, look like Shangri-La. Unfortunately,
it is likely that any attempt to do something like this would require the
elimination of Manchin and Sinema – in some way or other.
Stay
tuned for Supremely Disconcerting, Part III*. It’s just a hunch.
I.
Mangrey. Panic responsibly.
*Where Clarence “Uncle” Thomas loudly demands to be impeached (by his actions, if not in fact by his words).
Long
Live The Amazing, Peerless Brady
March 16, 2022
Wait, what? Tom Brady? Never mind.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
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What is your thought
for the day?
What Do You Do When The Comedian Is The Only Serious One?
March 14, 2022
Editor's note: This
story discusses persons that some people may find offensive.
Twice-Former
Attorney General Bill Barr is now in a public spat with the man whose shriveled
balls he coddled, the man he aided and abetted and defended against justice, democracy
and the American people.
Barr is out flogging his self-serving book, insisting that he was simply a righteous man doing God’s work. Ignoring of course the fact that he was doing that work in service to one of the most godless men of all time, and doing it in a way the flew in the face of the oath he took to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic, not to protect one sick, twisted, narcissistic conman. But why quibble over such massive transgressions?
During the course of one of the many interviews no one should be granting him, Barr belched that even though he would hope his ex-owner would not become his party’s presidential nominee in 2024 he would vote for a man who tried to steal America, “because I believe that the greatest threat to the country is the progressive agenda being pushed by the Democratic Party, it’s inconceivable to me that I wouldn’t vote for the Republican nominee.”
Really!? Progressive thinking and
policies are the greatest threat?* Are you out of your flaccid fucking mind? Not
the guy who called neo-Nazis and white supremacists “very fine people?” Not the
guy who refused to accept the legitimate results of the election he lost even
though you allegedly told him he definitely lost? Not the guy who stood up for
Vladimir Putin at every turn? Not the guy who still praises Putin as “a genius”
while the Russian madman oversees the wanton murder of Ukrainian civilians and
bombs the fuck out of nuclear reactors, churches, hospitals, residences, schools,
Holocaust memorials and individual women and children fleeing their beloved
homeland? That guy isn’t the greatest threat to the country?
Zelenskyy has had to deal with two insane despots
Somehow Zelenskyy survived a "perfect phone call" from The Idiot
Hey Bill, remember the part in your book where you said Tmurp exhibited a “detachment from reality that was stunning” to you? Remember when you lied about what the Mueller report said about him? How about when your idiot fucking boss withheld military assistance from Ukraine because Volodymyr Zelenskyy was unwilling to fabricate dirt on Hunter Biden in the run-up to the 2020 election? Zelenskyy ends up getting sandwiched between two of the most powerful, most sociopathic assholes on the planet. Thanks to you, your boy and his benefactor.
In a CNN interview
with Jake Tapper (Why Jake? Why?) Barr mooed that “the progressive left is sort
of showing sort of a totalitarian temperament.” He blames progressives, not his
own lies and depredations and his party giving the store to Russia’s Choice Tmurp
and white nationalists for dividing the nation. It might seem like Barr is just
dodging responsibility, but he is just lying through his teeth. Dodging
responsibility is just collateral damage.
On Fux News, Barr
told Brett Baier that Tmurp “showed a detachment from reality that was
stunning” to him as the Traitor-in-chief insisted that he would overturn Biden’s
election and retain his Russian-backed presidency.
So Bernie Sanders, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez
and Joe Biden who are trying to help those less fortunate to have a decent life, seriously
address the climate crisis, bring America into the 21st century, and
fairly tax the super-rich, are more dangerous than a traitorous,
anti-democratic, conman? Just because you were instrumental in helping him
become all that he is? That’s the hill you want to die on? Please let me know
how I can be of assistance.
I. Mangrey
remembering.
*Need you be reminded that Ratpublicans are literally running on
elect-us-you-idiotic-gullible-fucks-and-then-we’ll-let-you-know-what-we-plan-to-do?
What’s
The Points?
March 12, 2022
Pundits are racking their brains trying to figure out why Tsar Vlad the Shirtless has some of his tanks and military vehicles emblazoned with the letter ‘Z’ and why Russians who support Putin’s insane, barbaric invasion of Ukraine are also displaying the same symbol, one that does not exist in their Cyrillic alphabet. The answer is simple.
The
Russian military is apparently pathetic. If not for the relentless commission
of war crimes against the people of Ukraine, they likely would have been sent
packing by now. It appears that Putin desires to rule over many thousands of
acres of rubble and dead bodies. We remember when his franchise owner Donald
Tmurp gloated, “I love the poorly educated.” Putin prefers the poorly living.
His military is not playing three-dimensional chess. They are not playing
checkers. Or even Tic-Tac-Toe. They damn sure are not playing Solitaire. They
are apparently going for the big Scrabble score. And since the only other
letter worth the maximum 10 points has already been taken by another army of
mental defectives, they grabbed ‘Z.’ Fortunately none of these nitwits can
spell anything, so neither of these bands of malignant marauders will ever prevail.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
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We'll Let You Know When We’re Good And Fucking Ready
March 11, 2022
Reporter:
“If Republicans [her word, not mine] take back control of Congress after the
midterms, what will be your agenda?”
McConnell:
“That is a very good question. And I’ll let you know when we take it back.”
Now,
he could have been honest and laid out the details of what they really want for
this country. No one would be surprised to hear Bitch McConnell rattle off
something like the following, though there would probably be major shock at the
honesty:
We
plan to raise taxes on the poor and middle class and lower them, as we always
do, for the wealthiest Americans like me. We want to make abortions illegal
even though almost two-thirds of Americans want them to be legal. We want to
make sure there are fewer books and more shootings in our schools. We plan to
make it even harder for people of color, especially black people, to vote.
Ultimately, we would like to stop wasting so much valuable time and money –
money that could very well be given to the wealthiest Americans like me – on
elections altogether. Haven’t we had enough of this nonsense by now? We also
want to kill the United States Postal Service, and with any luck, the United
States itself.
But
he did not.
Or,
he could have at least lied better than saying wait and see, and hoping enough
brain-dead voters want to make America Tmurp, who still owns the Ratpublican
Party, again.
Clearly,
not that they haven’t been proving this every day for decades, Ratpublicans
have zero interest in governing this country, or upholding any kind of
democracy.
So there you have it – like Seinfeld if it
was the opposite of funny – a political campaign platform about nothing.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
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for the day?
Cloudy
With A Chance Of Fallout
March 9, 2022
Does nuclear winter cancel out
global warming?
Tune
in tomorrow to find out.
Oh,
and don't forget to duck and cover.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Question
For The Day.
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for the day?
