Is Being Stupid A Choice?

Cloudy With A Chance Of Morons

May 19, 2022

Apparently not everyone is aware of the existence of the internet. All the world’s information instantly available everywhere, all the time. You don’t even need a computer per se. Just a phone. Nonetheless, a much-too-large percentage of people remain painfully – to us, not seemingly to them – unaware of non-alternative facts about far too many things. Common wisdom holds that being so stunningly ignorant is easy. I disagree. Go figure. It seems to me that being so consistently unaware takes incredible discipline, focus and an almost fanatical devotion to maintaining a coma-like level of obliviousness.

Being stupid is hard work and a full-time occupation. And the pay is for shit. Yet there are millions and millions of devoted experts at being mind-blowingly senseless.

Which begs the question: if ignorance is bliss, why are these treacherous cretins so violently pissed off all the time?

Speaking of the availability of information, a recent study at the behest of Interior Secretary – and first Native American cabinet secretary in this nation’s history – Deb Haaland, exposed the heinous goings-on at Indian boarding schools. You know, the “schools” that kidnapped Indian children, cut off their hair (which to native people is practically sacred), canceled their original names, beat their native languages out of them and did everything possible – including torturing, sexually assaulting and murdering them – to keep them from being themselves, and in many cases from ever seeing their people and their families again.

Eugene McDaniels - The Parasite (For Buffy)

It is long past time for this country to acknowledge that the genocide our predecessors perpetrated upon this land’s original inhabitants made Adolf Hitler look like Mother Teresa. Despite modeling his concentration camps and extermination policies on the American reservation and extermination policies enacted against native peoples, Hitler was thankfully unable to sustain his genocide long enough to match the sheer numbers of those from whom he drew his murderous inspiration.

Tmurp’s “very fine people”: What, no pitchforks?

Secretary Haaland is calling for a Truth and Reconciliation commission. Good luck with that. Truth and reconciliation are two very foreign concepts in America. And we don’t take too kindly to no foreigners ‘round here neither.

From the fact that their Drear Leader lost the 2020 election bigly, to the fact that price-gouging corporations are more responsible for the current inflation rate, to the obvious effects of the ongoing, unrelenting climate crisis, to the fact that they themselves are in many cases flaming racists, misogynists and neo-fascists, and to the fact that this nation was built on genocide and slavery, many of our fellow citizens are aggressively and irredeemably anti-reality.

Being stupid is a full-time occupation. And America is dangerously close to full employment.

I. Mangrey reporting.

If He Only Had Some Balls

Shooting His Mouth Off?
That Phrase Does Not Mean What He Thinks It Means
At Least Not To Me

May 17, 2022

For some reason cowardly liar Fucker Carlson seems obsessed with what he calls a masculinity crisis. Methinks he doth protest too much. The only real masculinity crisis is Carlson himself. Not that masculinity is an objectively flawless quality, far from it, but there is nothing particularly masculine about the Swanson frozen foods trust fund baby who tries to pass himself off as a man of the people, or even a wuss of the people, no matter how hard he tries to pretend he’s a tough guy.

Fucker’s got it all:

No heart, no brain, no balls, and

he’s a whiny little brat

But Wait, There’s More…

Carlson has also made a name for himself hawking so-called “Great Replacement Theory.” The very theory the recent (Wish I could say ‘most recent,’ but that can never really be said about mass shootings in America, at least not without a reasonable guarantee of being proven wrong within a day or so when the next batch takes its place) mass shooter used to justify his racist/terrorist rampage in a Buffalo, NY grocery store. The same conspiracy behind the Charlottesville, VA torch bearing racists’ chanting “Jews will not replace us!” and “You will not replace us!” while protesting in favor of keeping the Confederacy alive, and then being called “very fine people” by then-racist-president Donald Tmurp. The very same despicable conspiracy theory Fucker has been blathering on about over and over again during what MSNBC’s Chris Hayes has called Carlson’s “White Power Hour.”

Fragile, bigoted, hateful and murderous white guys are all to happy to believe that there is a movement afoot to replace white people with non-white people in a number of overly-white countries, not the least of which is our own homeland – you know, the one we stole from this land’s original inhabitants. And who the fuck was it brought all those involuntary “immigrants” over here – before there even was an America – in the first place? If you really need someone to blame, Fucker, just look in your mirror.

New Yorker Magazine staff writer and dean of Columbia University School of Journalism Jelani Cobb had this to say about replacement theory:

“The idea that somehow African Americans are party to replacing anyone is ironic. If we’re going to be realistic about this, the population of this country is between one and two percent Native American. They were one hundred percent of the population of North America at the time of contact. If there is anyone who has the language about replacement, it is in fact what white Europeans did to the indigenous population of these lands. That’s the great replacement we have to grapple with in this country.”

They say that long COVID can result in brain damage that is similar to the deterioration that occurs with advanced aging – stealing some 20 years of mental competence, or a 10-point drop in IQ. This is nowhere near the brain damage and precipitous drop in IQ associated with watching the brain-eating-bacterial-bullshit that is Fucker Carlson’s nightly assault on humanity.

 

Bruce Cockburn - Stolen Land - 1994

I. Mangrey regurgitating. Carlsons will not replace us.                                                          

                                                                                                            

Perjury for Beginners (And Supreme Court Nominees)

And Injustice For All

May 15, 2022

The following blatant lies were uttered under oath during the Senate confirmation hearings of five currently (unde)serving members of the United States Supreme Court, each of whom was nominated specifically for their radical religious belief and deeply held desire and promise to overturn Roe v. Wade and subjugate women:

Clarence Thomas^ǂ 1991: I have not made a decision one way or the other.

Sam Alito 2006: Roe vs. Wade is an important decision of the Supreme Court that was decided in 1973, so it’s been on the books for a long time.

Neil Gorsuch* 2017: I will tell you that Roe vs. Wade, decided in 1973, is a precedent of the United States Supreme Court. It was reaffirmed in Casey in 1992, and in several other cases.

Brett Kavanaugh^ǂ 2018: I said it was settled as a precedent of the Supreme Court entitled to respect under principles under stare decicis

Amy Clowney Barrett** 2020: Roe vs. Wade clearly held that the Constitution protected a woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy. Casey upheld that central holding and spelled out in greater detail the test that the Court uses to consider the legality of abortion regulations

This is how human rights and democracies die.

Many People Are Saying That Mud Is Transparent

Just so we’re clear, the people who disparage science at every turn, who think that maybe drinking disinfectant might kill a virus, suddenly claim that science tells them when life begins and gives them the right to decide what women should be permitted to do with their own bodies.

These nimrods caterwaul at every opportunity insisting that climate science is unsettled because 3% of the world’s climate “scientists” are not convinced of the most obvious fact in human history: that human beings’ reckless addiction to technology, particularly internal combustion, factory farming and now the mining of bitcoin, is implicated in the accelerating collapse of the environment.

I look forward to someone with more time on their hands and better resources coming up with the percentage of biologists who believe that life begins at bend-over-whether-you-want-to-or-not. Or even at conception.

George Carlin: FM & AM - Birth Control

* seat stolen from a rightful Obama nominee

** seat stolen from a rightful Biden nominee

ǂ credibly accused of sexual harassment

I. Mangrey reporting.

Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves

Forced-Birth (Out Of) Control

Sham Alito Edition

May 13, 2022

Supreme Court Jester Samuel “I’ve Been Planning This For Almost Fifty Years” Alito relied on a witch hunter from the 17^th century as the foundation for his argument aimed at overturning Roe v. Wade. Alito’s 17^th century source “had at least two women executed for witchcraft and wrote a treatise supporting marital rape.” Wow, a Ratpublican before their time. And I’m guessing, couldn’t get voluntarily laid to save his worthless life.

In a stunning and futile gesture to seem even vaguely relevant to the 21^st Century, Alito quoted renown beer enthusiast, credibly accused sexual assaulter and perjurer Brett “I Still Like Beer…Do You Like Beer” Kavanaugh six times. A thoroughly modern mooncalf if ever there was one.

Bonzo Dog Band – Bad Blood

Apparently someone or something took a leak* on Alito’s Medieval malfeasance, alerting the hoi polloi to the impending roll-back of human decency. It just figures that when Ratpublicans finally side with science, it would have to be science from the 17^th Century.

Alito claims historical precedent for aborting women’s rights to control their own bodies. If he bothered to read history other than that lauding a 17^th century witch-hunting, abortion-hating Englishman, Alito would learn that abortion has been a widely accepted, practice beginning in antiquity and continuing through history. According to historian John M. Riddle, there may have been more access to reproductive care for many women in the actual Dark Ages (approximately the 5^th century to 10^th century) than they have in many parts of the United States today. Guess which parts.

Re-enactment of Alito-esque scientific method

Motherfucker’s Day

Just in time for Mother’s Day, on a day that henceforth will be known as Motherfucker’s Day, Alito and his hench-maggots – Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Clowney-Barrett (all of whom are radical Christians who fear and loathe the Founders’ explicit calls for separation of Church and State) – let loose with their plan to ensure there will be more mothers than you can shake a dick at. And if you do happen to shake a dick where it don’t belong, congratufuckinglations, you are a motherfucker…and a new deadbeat dad. But don’t worry lads, you can’t be held responsible for your actions (if you’re white). According to Ratpublicans, you are doing God’s work by creating life, without doing life.

As an extra added bonus, the soon-to-be-mother you fucked will be legally required to carry your sperm-and-eggs to term, while you go to jail for some totally unrelated crime, never knowing, let alone caring, that you have forced a new life into this godforsaken hellscape. Luckily you will have a bunch of other white dudes making sure the involuntary mother of your abandoned child can’t get welfare, child care or decent schooling. And the unsuspecting, involuntary mother will not be afforded paid maternity leave – so high-fives all around. Also lucky for you, you cannot get pregnant no matter how much love you get in prison.

Samuel Alito trying very hard not to swallow after some quality alone time in his chambers

For the record, all of these rapists-of-the-law – Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Coney-Barrett – lied and/or perjured themselves whenever they opened their mouths about Roe v. Wade. And poor Susan Collins; how can she live with herself after assuring the American public that the chaste, if beer-addled Brett Kavanaugh would most certainly uphold settled, resettled and repeatedly upheld law would remain so. More important, how can we live with herself.

Alito’s daft…I mean draft opinion determined that the “inescapable conclusion is that a right to abortion is not deeply rooted in the Nation’s history and tradition. Apparently, neither is Alito’s religiously fanatical “thinking.”

Anyone who insists on being anti-choice must be put on a list to receive the result of every single rape, incest or other unwanted pregnancy until there are none left. These are the same idiots who want the government’s hands off their Medicare, but they want them all over women’s bodies. The same mental defectives screaming about how disease-preventing masks steal freedom, ignore the freedom of women to decide what to do with their own bodies. USA! USA! USA!

With any luck, our self-inflicted climate crisis will accelerate beyond our wildest expectations and/or ignorance and put this whole sorry mess to bed.

*Correction: It was actually Alito who took a leak on American women. Someone else leaked his despicable draft. We regret this error.

I. Mangrey reporting. Don’t forget to check your scam folder for more fun from the Extreme Court.

Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs – Li'l Red Riding Hood
(Band name and song take on new meaning in today’s climate)

Susan Collins Shrieks Again

Just So's We're Clear

May 11, 2022

According to Ratpublicans, violently storming the Capitol for the express purpose of interfering with a secure and provably valid presidential election is "legitimate political discourse" but writing thoughtful messages on sidewalks with chalk, along with non-violent protests attempting to halt the reversal of God-given and court-supported rights of women warrants calling the police. I’ve heard of people being afraid of clowns, but chalk?

Recall that disgraced, twice-impeached, treasonous, ex-one-term-president and failed blogger Donald Tmurp stood back and stood by while the crowd he incited (for months) attempted to 1) violently overthrow the United States government, 2) hang Mike Pence, 3) kidnap and/or kill Nancy Pelosi and other members of Congress while they 4) assaulted Capitol police, 5) defecated on Capitol walls, and 6) stole personal and government property. As leader of the free world maybe Tmurp should have been calling the cops instead of watching his thugs killing them.

Dangerous chalk graffiti on Collins’ sidewalk. Oh, the humanity.

“Susie, please, Mainers want WHPA —–> vote yes, clean up your mess”

Susan Collins claims to be pro-choice. Pennsylvania’s Democratic Sen. Bob Casey has a long history of being anti-choice. One of the two will be voting for the abortion rights bill being brought to the Senate floor today by Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. You’ll never guess which one. I’ll give you a hint: it’s not lying sack of shit Susan Collins. And guess who else voted against abortion rights: Sen. Joe Mansion (D-GOP).

Oh, and the officers called to the scene of the “crime” found that the chalk message was “not overtly threatening.” Neither was it covertly threatening. Did she even bother to fucking read it, or did Collins skip right to concern, nail-biting and pants wetting?

Meanwhile, Collins continues wasting precious oxygen that could be used by others to much better advantage.

Susan Collins tasting her own medicine

 I. Mangrey re’splaining. Keep your bullshit off my body.           

                                                                                      

Thought For The Day

“They might as well start sending robots up here. You can't do anything. I think it would really cut back on the amount of people that would want to come up here and serve, I really do. We don't need that.”
          Sen Tommy Tuberville (R-$)

“That is exactly what we need you brainless bag of bones and bullshit.”
          Ed Venture, Editor, Paying Attention™   

Saying The Stupid Part Out Loud

May 9, 2022

It’s not like anyone ever accused Ratpublicans of holding themselves accountable for anything they insist on holding others accountable. And it’s not like anyone expects the party of Tmurp to obey any law they find inconvenient or annoying or depriving them of ill-gotten gains.

Super-Tmurp-y, single-digit-IQ Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) is one of Congress’ worst violators of the STOCK Act. Apparently the Alabama asshole thinks the purpose of the Senate is to pad his bank account. While that might be the best he has to offer in his current post, the United States Senate, if not Alabama, deserves better. Tuberville complained that proposals to ban members of Congress from trading stocks would “really cut back” on the number of people willing to serve. Sounds good to me.

According to Business Insider, Tuberville, a former college football coach, with no political experience, and executive brain function hovering around coma, has violated the STOCK Act some 132 times, to the tune of $894,000.

Someone should tell these greedy fucks that their job description is “public servant.” Not public sponge.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Schmuck For The Day

Susan “Back-Alley” Collins

May 04, 2022

On the dog-doo-encrusted heels of the newly leaked draft opinion (written by lying sack of shit Samuel Alito) exposing the scofflaw Extreme Court’s intention to nullify the settled law of Roe v. Wade, I've seen a slew of articles implying that Susan Collins was “played” by Brett “Boofing Is Fun For The Whole Family” Kavanaugh when she interviewed him to help him become a Supreme Court Clown/Justice and fulfill Ratpublicans’ crusade to overturn Roe v. Wade.

See if you can identify the justices who plan make abortion illegal

Collins was not played. She was playing along. After all, how could Collins not have known what so many of us found to be beyond obvious, that a beer-obsessed, credibly-accused sexual assaulter like Kavanaugh would unhesitatingly lie to her face? Fuck Susan Collins and anyone who even entertains the idea that maybe a woman should be in control of her own body, yet still voted for Collins - the Stain From Maine.

Is Being Stupid A Choice?

Collins willfully aided and abetted the construction of the super-stupid majority in the Court, voting to confirm nominees to the highest court who she knew full well were chosen by the Federalist Society for their obsession with killing Roe v. Wade, along with countless women who will be forced to die in order to save their unborn. And for their insistence that women (and girls) who were raped, even by family members, should, under rule of law, carry those pregnancies to term as life-long, unrelenting reminders of the most horrific moments of their lives, until the day they die. You know because, as a number of Ratpublican men have mused, they should just make the most of the gift that God (and the rapist) gave them.

Make no mistake. This is just the tip of the shitberg. There are plenty more rights like abortion that are not spelled out in the Constitution. Like privacy, same-sex marriage, contraception, and who knows what other rights we take for granted that these Cro-Magnon men of the radical-right are waiting to pull out of their fat white asses.

I am not saying the following to be rude or mean, just accurate. Susan Collins is one dumb fuck. And her compatriot Lisa Murkowski is not the brightest fuck either. Both of these alleged moderates are culpable and will have the blood of women on their hands.

Sometimes the road to hell is paved with bad intentions.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck For The Day.

You're welcome.

Who is your schmuck for the day?

Questions For The Day

May 3, 2022

Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer – what a loser. How can he end his lifetime appointment without being dead? Just because he said he would retire and his replacement has been confirmed? What is this country coming to?

These have been your Paying Attention™ Questions For The Day.

You're welcome.

What are your questions for the day?

Thought For The Day

Their Old Kentucky Home

May 2, 2022

Kentucky senator and WAP (White-Ass Pussy) Rand Paul was recently mentioned in this space. First, we apologize for this. Senator Paul himself should apologize for ever opening the exhaust hole under his nose.

The junior GOPP (Grand Old Putin Party) senator from the state that continues to bring us Bitch McConnell attempted to school Secretary of State Antony Blinken on reasons we should not be interfering with the malignant mischief of Vladimir Putin. Paul attempted to justify Putin’s brutal bludgeoning of Ukraine by proclaiming, “You could also argue the countries they attacked were part of Russia. Were part of the Soviet Union.”

Someone should remind the simpleton from the southeast that Kentucky was home to tribes from five different culture groups – Iroquoian, Sioux, Algonquian, Muskogean and Yuchi. None of these peoples invited Paul’s pasty-faced predecessors to evict them. So maybe he should let them do as they please and reclaim what is rightfully theirs. Works for me.

Senator Paul might want to STFU.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?