A Very Special Revolving Door

Once Around the (Chopping) Block

September 24, 2018

The Chrump White House is often described as a revolving door.  It is the best revolving door, utilized by, one assumes, the best people.  Many of these best people have merely moved from one position to another, the vast majority however, have simply abandoned shit.  More people left this administration in the first 20 months than any in memory, if not history.  I am not inclined to look it up, but clearly the Chrump administration is one lava-hot mess.  (Full disclosure, I did look it up and this is in fact historic in how pitiful it is.)  Mt. Kiluea has a long way to go to cause even a fraction of the devastation that has only begun to gush from the toxic Orange Gas Cloud. 

50 percent hot air, 50 percent hairspray, 50 percent unidentified toxins

Just about everyone who joined the Chrump team – some gone, some still clinging pathetically to their alleged jobs – has threatened to quit, or has been threatened with firing at some point.  And these are the best people.  No swamp.  You’re the swamp.

Several of Chrump’s best people have called him an “idiot” (Chief-of-staff John Kelly, Steve Mnuchin, ex-Chief-of-staff Reince Preibus) or a “fucking moron” (ex-Secretary of State Rex Tillerson).  “Like an 11-year-old child” (ex-butt-boy Steve Bannon).  “Less a person than a collection of terrible traits”, “dumb as shit” (ex-chief economic adviser Gary Cohn).  “An idiot [with the intelligence of] a kindergartener” (National Security Advisor HR McMaster).    The list goes on, but I will leave it there for now.

Here is a sample of some of the best words Chrump has used to describe some of his best people:

Steve Bannon, chief executive officer of Chrump's campaign and than Chief White House Strategist: “Sloppy Steve Bannon”, “Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my presidency. When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind.”

Jefferson Beauregard Confederacy Racist Sessions III, first sitting (I know, it’s hard to tell) Senator to support Chrump, who became Attorney General after lying his little ass off to the Senate during his nomination hearing: “beleaguered”, “scared stiff”, “disgraceful”, “weak”.

George Papadopoulos, member of Chrump’s foreign policy advisory panel, then pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about interactions with foreign officials close to the Russian government: just a “coffee boy”.

Paul Manafort, Chrump’s campaign chairman, credited with getting Chrump over the finish line, forced out after allegations of shady Russian ties: “He was only there for a short period of time.”

Omarosa, long time Chrump lackey who said, “Every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to President Trump.  Everyone who’s ever doubted Donald, who ever disagreed, who ever challenged him. It is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe.” (She later left the White House and wrote a tell-all.): “Lowlife. She’s a lowlife,” “Wacky Omarosa, who got fired 3 times on the Apprentice, now got fired for the last time. She never made it, never will. She begged me for a job, tears in her eyes, I said Ok. People in the White House hated her. She was vicious, but not smart.”

Don’t Let the Door Kill You on the Way Out

This Chrump revolving door is no ordinary revolving door though.  It really is more of an abattoir.  With your standard revolving door, one comes out the other side to proceed on one’s merry way, whereas when you pass through Chrump’s revolving door, you are dead meat.

And now for something completely relevant

The most recent high-ranking Chrumper to be tweeted out the door was White House Counsel, and possible “flipper” Don McGahn, whose job it is was to advise the prezident on legal matters and to safeguard the presidency – not the actual president, but the office itself.  In this case, that mainly consisted of protecting the office from the current office-holder, causing McGahn to commit the cardinal sin of telling the Cry-baby-in-chief “NO” from time to time.  This does not sit well with KFC spokes-blob Chrump, who believes it is absolutely everyone’s job to protect him from the media, the truth and the law.  McGahn, who was at one time counsel and ethics advisor to disgraced (and highly unethical) Texas congressman Tom DeLay, has also been instrumental in stacking the federal court system with right-wing, religious fanatic judges.  McGahn personally recommended Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh for the Supreme Court.  To McGahn I say, don’t let the rotating knives hit you on the way out.  Though I don’t really mean it.

No one who has spent any time in the direct orbit of Donald Chrump keeps whatever reputation they might have had going in.  Even the so-called pious Mike Pence looks worse for the time he has spent as Chrump’s double-dealing, obsequious lapdog.  Once you have been had by Chrump, it will take a very long time to remove the stench.  One would be better off canoodling with an angry skunk.

What used to be a plum job and a sure-fire way to get your resume to float to the top of any binder full of women, is now a death sentence for any career.   

But Wait, There’s More

Casey Patten, owner of the 17-store hoagie chain, ‘Taylor Gourmet’, met with Chrump at a White House small business roundtable in January 2017.  It is unclear whether there were more people present at the roundtable, than were at the inauguration; let’s assume there were.  Patten thought it would be a good idea to be in a photo and video with the new prezident.  The images were then shown nationally.  According to an anonymous source familiar with the situation, Taylor Gourmet’s “sales dropped 40 percent the next day.  And it persisted and never really got any better.”

 
Hey, what the hell are you doing? Get off my lawn.

 

This poor kid, who just wanted to do a good deed and meet the prezident, simply got too close to Chrump and was subsequently abandoned by his parents, and is now in a juvenile detention center.  Even though the young lad is white, he simply came too close to Chrump and will be tainted for life.  His future now appears as bleak as that of Chrump himself – walls closing in, nowhere to hide, unemployable.  Lepers have closer friends.

Speaking of poor kids, video has emerged wherein Don, Jr. told an interviewer that one of the important things his dad told him, when he was very young (Jr. said age four, but that was clearly a lie) was, “No smoking, no drinking, no drugs. And don’t trust anyone, ever.”  To be fair, this could also be a lie.  Who the hell knows with these psychopaths?

I. Mangrey reporting.  It's a living.  Not really.  But, I do it anyway.