Chrump’s Inferno

Hell Hath No Fury Like Chrump

October 31, 2020

Dante posited nine circles of Hell in the classic Dante’s Inferno. The circles from least to most horrifying were Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud and Treachery. Dante is getting a lot of attention these days and many people are expecting great new things.

Hopefully he will soon release his long-awaited Dante’s 2020: Make The Inferno Great Again. The sequel must include a tenth circle: Chrump. While Donald Chrump personifies each and every one of Dante’s original hellish environs, he also subsumes then all. He makes Dante’s nine circles of Hell look like the Garden of Eden. His “hair” alone is a crime against humanity.

No less than Noam Chomsky described Chrump as “the worst criminal in human history.”

                        

Enjoy the quietest Halloween ever.

Creepiest mask ever. 
(Notice the frightening difference between normal human 
skin tone and the eerily unnatural hue of the fright mask.)

In the spirit of the season we’ve dredged up a decrepit piece. Not so much the season of Halloween, but the season of Chrump’s insanely criminal administration, his unyielding support for white supremacy and fanning of the flames of racial tension, his ruthless assault on the environment, his remorseless work to support a great quality of life for the COVID virus, and of course, his unrelenting efforts to sabotage the 2020 election.

Two years ago, the Paying Attention Players penned a paean to Poe, a work of drear, of Chrump, of woe. And if this verse leaves you not feeling worse, there is more than you think, if you follow this link.

Once Upon a Century Dreary

May 17, 2018

Every now and again we at Paying Attention take leave of our senses…I mean take leave of the perpetually nauseating, cruelly relentless and painfully frightening events of the moment to look back in anger and/or look forward in terror.  Today’s offering is a modest foray into literary ramblings, looking to a wordsmith of yore to help survive the current Kafkaesque onslaught, hopefully avoiding any actionable plagiarism. 

Who better to capture the mood of America in the Year of Our Lord Clearly Giving Up and Leaving, than the author of the appalling, the penman of the perverse, the executor of the eerie, the master of the macabre – Edgar Allan Poe.  Today, America is enveloped in an Orange Gas Cloud.  The pall of Chrump permeates the land, the air, the sea and Twitter.  The pain and stench are unavoidable. We could use a man like Poe to translate today’s unmitigated angst into digestible prose.

Edgar Allan Poe

Poe had his finger on the pained pulse of personal psychology, and though he lived so long ago, his literary works might well have been penned in our time. Since they were not, the literary plagiarists here at Paying Attention have once again appropriated classic writings for a new era, with only slight modification. Poe seemed to capture our current mood with eerie exactitude, though he wrote almost 200 years ago. Actually, his dark and bruising tales seem almost quaint compared to the reality we inhabit. We are living through one of the scariest stories ever conceived. Poe could not have known that his country would one day be under the tasteless boot of a manic brute who would make Poe’s darkest tales seem like something out of Dr. Seuss.

We give you now, whether you want it or not, excerpts of Edgar Allan Poe in the time of Chrump…

The Fall of The Louse of Chrumper

It was a dark and soundless day near the end of the year, and clouds of doom were hanging low in the heavens. All day I had been hoping that the second least popular candidate ever might prevail over the very least; and in the early evening I was forced to admit we would all be captives of the Louse of Chrumper.

Best house ever.

I do not know how it was — but, with my first sight of the newly elected, even before that excruciating November night, a sense of heavy sadness filled my spirit. I was not alone. Across the land, many anxiously held their breath. Blinked away heavy tears. Coughed up their meals. I looked at the scene before me — at the Louse himself — at the deplorables around him — at the outlandishly wrought and colored mass atop his vacuous head — at his empty yet somehow mocking eyes — and at a few dead trees, dead from the sight of him. I looked at this scene, I say, with a complete sadness of soul which was no healthy, earthly feeling. There was a coldness, a sickening of the heart, in which I could discover nothing to lighten the weight I felt. What was it, I asked myself, what was it that was so fearful, so frightening in my view of the Louse of Chrumper? This was a question to which I could find no answer.

The Craven

Once upon a country dreary, while I watched him, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of idiotic tweets—

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one oddly crapping, tweeting near the courtroom door.

“’Tis some idiot,” I muttered, “tweeting by the courtroom door—

            Only Chrump and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak November;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow;—some impeachment then to borrow

An end to all our Chrumpish sorrow—sorrow he does on us dump—

For the sick and freakish tyrant whom the Devil named The Chrump—

            Nameless here for evermore.

From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost before me—

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Stormy—

Then was there that constant rapping—

Rapping on the courtroom door—

               Nameless here for evermore.

Quoth the craven…

            “Only this and nothing more.”   Tweeteth Chrump, “Not my fault.”

            “Only this and nothing more.”   Tweeteth Chrump, “Build the wall.”

    Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon us all.

    Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow

    From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the porn star she—

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Stormy—

            Nameless here for evermore.

 

In deference to you, the loyal, sensitive and no doubt weary reader, we will leave you for now, to process, ponder and pass along what you have just witnessed.  And for good or ill, allow you at least a brief respite in anticipation of part two of our prosaic Poe parodies, which you will be able to enjoy or ignore in the coming days.

Ed Venture
Managing Editor, Paying Attention

Chrump’s Trail of Tweets

All Thumbs, No Brains

October 30, 2020

                 

Thanks to Donald Chrump’s self-professed favorite president who is not him, Andrew Jackson, the Cherokee Nation and numerous other tribes of the southeastern area, which through no fault of theirs became the United States of America, were torn asunder.  Chrump probably knows next to nothing about Jackson, which he exhibited for all to see when he associated our seventh and possibly most dickish president, with the Civil War, which took place almost 30 years after Jackson’s death. 

Chrump, if his current proclivities are any indication, most likely knows only that Jackson was a nasty sonofabitch and a racist hell-bent on genocide against Native Americans. 

Jackson’s Trail of Tears, the brutal relocation, including the deaths of thousands of the tens of thousands of Indians, followed the passage of the Indian Removal Act in 1830.  I know that ‘Indian Removal Act’ sounds kind of cruel, but it was much worse.

Chrump, for his part, has passed, simply by virtue of his never ending thumbing his phone at the rest of the world, the soul-crushing Reality Relocation Act of 2019.  Chrump’s Trail of Tweets has dislocated most Americans, as well as horrified millions the world over, from their shared reality.  We are being electronically marched from our intellectual and emotional homelands, to an alien locale that is completely unfamiliar and in no way conducive to the life we had been, and hoped to be living.

The Trail of Tears was meant to rip original inhabitants from the lands they had known throughout the history of their existence, for the convenience of the illegal immigrants that swept across their lives like and with devastating diseases.  Some refused to leave, and to this day remain in their traditional homelands.  Similarly, many of us today hold fast to the reality that we have known throughout our lives and those of our predecessors, and one which we hope to reconstitute once the viral infection known as Donald Chrump has been eradicated.

Not to mention his constant re-tweeting of hate and stupidity from white nationalists, racists, QAnon and the like. And of course, even Chrump’s most ignorant, sociopathic, idiotic tweets have a hard time out-stupiding the shit that comes out of his face sphincter every fucking day. And the lies. My God, the lies. The Trail of Lies.

Many people are hoping that our long national nightmare will suddenly go away like a miracle. There is much to overcome: the Russians, the Republican’t anti-voting machine, armed douchebags trying to intimidate Democratic voters, vote hacking, court packing, and of course the sociopathic inability of Donald Jackal Chrump to ever admit losing or anything vaguely related to reality. May the Lord have mercy on our souls.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thought For The Evening

Box of Rocks Meets Basket of Deplorables

October 29, 2020

Chrump’s rally attendees don’t even listen to what he says.  It’s like they just wait until he stops talking for a moment and automatically applaud.  They applaud when he tells them how beautiful his homes and apartments are. They revel in his whining about toilets, dishwashers and how crappy water pressure is ruining his “hair.”  They scream with glee when he describes how he is going to take away their health insurance, causing a large number of them to go bankrupt.  They cheer like their team just won the Super Bowl when he proposes tax cuts that will benefit him and his needlessly wealthy donors and cronies, and not them and their loved ones, or when he threatens to close the border with Mexico, which will cause all of them great hardship. They applaud until their hands bleed after he threatens people, mangles words, lies about what a great golfer he is, or how rich he is, or talks about assaulting women or how big his dick is. They laugh and die when he tells them the COVID pandemic, which is sickening and killing more people per day than ever, is over.

Most likely, they are subconsciously relieved that he shut up for a second.  It is no surprise they are unaware of what they are doing, as total unawareness – bordering on coma or brain-death – is the order of the day in Chrumpworld. 

                        Written by David Rees about G.W. Bush, but still fresh as a daisy

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Evening.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the evening?

Can you even still think this evening?

Word Of The Day

KOYAANISQATSI

October 29, 2020

This became one of my favorite words of all time after I saw the brilliant, moving and unique 1983 Godfrey Reggio documentary of the same name.

Koyaanisqatsi – the trailer

This has been your Paying Attention Word Of The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your word of the day?

Hope For The Best

Thought For The Day

Chrump To You: “It’s My Country and I’ll Lie If I Want To”

October 28, 2020

“There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.” – Goethe

Without equal or even worthy competition, Chrump is the lyingest liar of all lying liars who ever lied. His lie-to-word ratio is without equal. Of late, that unparalleled ratio has grown exponentially, as he fights to stay in the White House and out of the Big House, if not the Cuckoo’s Nest. Plus, he just cannot keep that oddly shaped hole beneath his nose shut. And nothing else in the world truly exists to him other than him. In a way, he cannot be blamed, he is so psychologically and intellectually damaged that he is the personification of the Insanity Defense.

“What a beautiful lake, it has my face in it. 

It’s like seeing Jesus on a piece of toast.”

Technically, Donald Chrump cannot be called a traitor. One definition of a traitor is a person who betrays a friend, country, principle, etc. One could very safely argue that Donald Chrump has no friends to betray. He can only be said to have a country by virtue of having, of biological (one assumes; I have never seen his birth certificate or proof of species) necessity, been born in some particular place. There is ample incontrovertible evidence that he has at most zero principles. Presumably, one cannot betray something that does not exist. The Insanity Defense.

Treason, Bribery, and High crimes are Chrump’s raisons d'être. As for Misdemeanors, few things in history have managed to miss more completely than his demeanor.

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Asshole In COVID Land

An Election Carroll

October 27, 2020

After an entire day off, everyone is feeling refreshed…well, as refreshed as can be expected with only a week to go before Election Day 2020: America Votes, Crosses Its Fingers And Holds Its Breath. There will be no down time, no sleep, no time to lose. We don’t want to miss a single lie, a single poll. Will Joe Biden be able to defeat the Big Cheat? Unseat the Orange Bag of Meat?

Nonetheless, we have to admit to being a bit punchy. On our day off, before shit gets too serious for words, we squeezed out as much fun as we could muster. As we attempt to extricate ourselves from the tiny clutches of Asshole in Wonderland, enjoy our little homage to Lewis Carroll as we all struggle to make it back through the losing glass.

Chrumperwonky?!?

Snicker-Snack anyone?

‘Twas ‘vember and the slimy toad
   Did conspire and mumble ev’ry day:
All flimsy were the lies he told,
   The bullshit out weighed.

Beware the Orange Cloud, my son!
   The jowls that spew, the brain that rots!
Beware the shit-for-brains and shun,
   His fascist election plots.

He took our country, fucked it bad,
   Long time some knew he suck’d it bigly-
So tested he democracy
   And tweeted higgledy piggledy.

As in a mindless piddle he reigned,
   The Orange Cloud, with viral shame,
Eschewed the mask, the science, the brain,
   He killed us all the same!

One, two! Fuck, you! He’s through, he’s through
  The electorate went snicker-snack!
They brought him low, they kicked his balls,
   And turned his Orange blue.

And hast thou crushed the Orange Cloud?
   Just make him gone, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
   And finally find some joy.

‘Twas ‘tober and the slimy toad
   Did conspire and mumble ev’ry day:
All flimsy were the lies he told,
   The bullshit out weighed.

Is there a way back or has the mirror been smashed to smithereens?

From the curiouser and curiouser side of the looking glass, we peer back toward the other side, what we thought we knew was really real. Eat me. Drink me. Fuck me. Get ten feet tall. Get really small. I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. That date is called November 3rd. Kill the Cheshire Rat before he disappears and nothing’s left but us without smile. Off with his head, the King must be dead, or locked the fuck up to end our dread.

I. Mangrey returning. Get ready to gimble. 

A Little Fun While It's Still Possible

TV Or Not TV, That Is The Question

October 26, 2020

As the ignominious end of the Chrump administration looms bigly, many people are saying that COVID Donny and any number of his spawn could end up on the wrong end of the legal system for any number of the almost infinite crimes in their horrific wake. The Chrump Organization is a decades-old criminal enterprise, riddled with stiffing contractors, random fraudulent schemes like Chrump University and their phony “charity”, insurance fraud, tax fraud and money laundering, not to mention being in bed with Russian oligarchs and mafia figures. Other than that, they have always done the Lord’s work. Not God mind you, but the orange lord and master and current patriarch of the Chrump Crime Family – Donald.

The potential for some of the Chrump family’s countless crimes to end up in court in the state of New York – crimes with punishments out of the reach of presidential pardons – is one of the driving forces behind Chrump’s last ditch effort to steal another term in office – aided and abetted of course by Moscow Mitch McConnell’s deadbeat senate and fake Attorney General William “I Am Doing God’s Work So Leave Me The Fuck Alone” Barr.

It is in this context, that and an adamant demand for a day off, that the team at Paying Attention has decided to dredge up a blast from the past in the hopes of some brief distraction from the gut-wrenching presidential contest. Enjoy what is either desperation fantasy or uncanny prophesy while you still have the will to live…or at least, to laugh.

Ed Venture

They’re Fired

April 18, 2018

Paying Attention Goes Hollywood

You have never seen reality TV before. Ever. You may think you have, but you are wrong. Believe me. Hear me now and thank me later. I alone can fix this. Forget the Kardashians, the Real Housewives, Survivor, Big Brother and all the rest of the fake-reality TV pasteurized, processed entertainment product. Here comes the real deal. You will not be able to look away. You will not watch any other shows. You will seriously consider quitting your job. I mean, more than usual. The best, most beautifully terrific entertainment is coming soon.

Ed Venture
Editor, Paying Attention

Lock Them Up…Where We Can Keep An Eye On Them

Many people are saying that the Chrump “prezidency” is as entertaining as it gets. Sure it causes ulcers, migraines, shortness of breath, tachycardia, insomnia, narcolepsy, projectile vomiting and bleeding from the eyes, and the ears and the wherever. But, it is entertaining dammit. Do you think Mike Pence would be this funny? Well, do ya punk?

Chrump is willing to do anything to get the big ratings. Anything. Insult women – not just some, but all of them, insult entire races of people, or nationalities. Belittle and agitate world leaders, praise dictators, humiliate American law enforcement, the courts, the media and intelligence (of every sort). Hell, he would even get impeached if it was during sweeps week. He denigrates everyone around him – family, staff, cabinet members, boy scouts, porn stars. No one that spends more than 30 seconds in his presence emerges unsullied. Nothing is off the table for Chrump; except perhaps common sense, lucid thought, or any sort of knowledge, but none of that crap sells anyway.

Unfortunately for Chrump, a large majority of his involuntary audience simply want him off the air, out of the House, and off the island. Is Elba still available? I hear Alcatraz has some vacancies. This was true even before the pilot episode sullied the airwaves, or cable, or fiber-optic or satellite, or Crap Chat, or whatever it is the kids are watching these days. While The Chrump Show may have many viewers, most of them are only watching to see when and how it will finally, mercifully, end, and whether anything they once held dear will be left intact. Like Seinfeld, which so many people watched to see what horrible behaviors would happen next. The big differences of course, 1) Seinfeld was hysterically funny, and 2) it was fiction. Chrump is literally hysterical and all the fiction is in his head, but it dictates our reality.

Napoleon sure has some big hands

With each grueling episode, the majority of his audience keeps hanging in there, despite their better judgment, only to grow more weary, more disgusted, more emotionally and mentally unstable. Obviously, there are some who cherish their Human-Cheeseburger-in-chief, and hang on his every ill-advised, incoherent, insincere tweet. They watch with glee, while most of us look on with clenched fists, teeth and eyes. But we all continue to watch, however painful it might be. And, as you well know, it is perpetually and profusely painful. Take heart in knowing that it will end eventually. Nothing lasts forever. Right?

Best Sequel Ever. Ever.

An excited television executive producer said, “We’ve got a sequel that will absolutely crush the original series. In most cases, the sequel simply bombs. Best case scenario, it does almost as well as the original. Not this time. What we have here is pure television gold. No, diamonds. They’re forever, right? Nobody will be able to resist this. We will start with a block of weeknight prime time episodes, but the plan – if this thing goes the way we think it will, sponsors are literally begging us for slots – is to create something like C-SPAN. That’s right, 24/7 baby. All Chrumps all the time. No one will be able to touch these ratings. Believe me. This will make reality TV great again. We would like to thank Robert Mueller, Rod Rosenstein and of course, our star, without whom none of this would be possible. Also, we have to thank the man of the hour, Michael Cohen – we have already sent him a check for $130K, and he is worth every penny. And, I would be remiss if I left out the one and only Stormy Daniels. We love you Donny.”

For the record, Chrump says he had no idea that Cohen wrote Stormy Daniels a check or why he might have done so. He does not deny having an affair with Daniels, but said, “I really don’t believe I ever had sex with her, but you’ll have to ask my daughter Ivanka about that. I just don’t know anything about it.” It appears that Chrump’s fixer is badly broken. We could not have invented a better end to season one or a better lead-in to what will be, without question, the best television of all time.

TV Or Not TV, That Is the Question

Get ready for the most addicting reality TV of all time. This will be the biggest, most terrific, most beautiful show ever. This is no hoax folks. Join us next Tuesday at 9:00 PM EST for

CHRUMP FAMILY HOUSE ARREST

They’re all together, forever, having a ball…and chain

Many people said it could never happen. They said Chrump could do whatever he wants. Grab ‘em by the p*$$y…well, he said he could. He thought he could pay off a porn star (and perhaps many others) to keep quiet about their affair, but then his “attorney” blew the whole thing up. Chrump said he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose a single vote. As it turned out, doing that would have been less of a problem than what he actually did. Conspiracy, money laundering, campaign finance crime, fraud, tax evasion, obstruction of justice, treason, immeasurable ignorance. He was right about one thing though – no collusion. Too bad, since collusion is not a crime…like all the things he definitely did.

Anyway, they will all be back home where they belong, in their big beautiful Mor-on-Lago, but now they will all be together all of the time. All of them. All the time. They can get in, but they can’t get out. Doomed to a life of McDonald’s, KFC, Taco Bell, Diet Coke. Delivered right to their door – because they cannot leave. Well, at least one of them will be happy, knowing his food is not being poisoned. Though now, he might be willing to take more chances.

The Electoral College cannot save them now. Never again will they eat or visit or slowly sip their much-loved Covfefe. They will not enjoy another visit to the very beautiful mountain beaches of Nambia – the island nation that exists only in the fevered mind of their child patriarch, little Donny, Sr. The beautiful island of Nambia. An island surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water. And, it is landlocked.

This time for real, he will not be visiting his many fabulous golf courses. All those tax cuts he gave himself? Can’t use them where he’s not going.

The realest TV you will ever see. The most fun you will ever have. Don’t miss it. Don’t miss them. Make America greater than ever, or at least greater than the Chrump days. It’s a low bar after all. Not so much a bar as a chalk line on the ground.

Turn on, tune in, throw up.

The Paying Attention Team

Baby, You Can Drive My Carnage

His Uncouth Goes Marching On

October 25, 2018

The Spleen From Queens froths bile from the Rose Garden

They broke the mold while they were making Donald Chrump. The hope was that with the mold broken at a that point, the process would be halted, but alas, it was too late.  Chrump emerged, badly damaged, never to become whole. And he did everything possible to make himself worse with each waking moment of his miserable, hateful, impossibly dishonest, poor excuse for a life.

Chrump seems to be reaching peak fuckhead as we speak. Maybe he was hated by his criminal parents more than he was able to hate himself. Perhaps his very, very small brain was damaged by the hundreds of gallons of hair spray and face-coloring chemicals. Maybe he ingested too much disinfectant, or did not get the right amount of life-giving radiation. Maybe his utter and unrelenting disregard for every other human being on the planet ate away at his psyche. Either way, he has, and always has had a very bad brain, his “very stable genius” claims notwithstanding.  Or even remotely related to reality.

MISOGYNY ACCOMPLISHED

As we round the turn, as we round the corner on this most angst-ridden and consequential election in modern history (by the way mister IMPEACHED president, the expression is “turning the corner” but you wouldn’t know that because you live only inside your badly damaged head), where so many millions of Americans are hoping you will just go away, like a miracle, let us one more time run down a brief list of your accomplishments…before it’s too late.

Chrump’s last-ditch effort to find a campaign slogan

Let us take an inventory before re-electing this classless, malignant narcissist. First, began his mission to take health care away from millions of some of the most at-risk Americans, then he perpetrated yet another disastrous tax cut for the least at-risk Americans, then he oversaw the kidnapping of hundreds of innocent children – 545 of whom may never be reunited with their parents because his administration did not bother to keep track of which children belong with which parents – and now Donald Judas Chrump is responsible for the deaths of more than 130,000 Americans because he found it more useful to lie to the American people about the COVID-19 virus than to protect the American people by simply instructing them to wear masks and practice safe social distancing.

Chrump warned about the dangerous American Carnage during the most negative, sociopathic, horrifying inauguration speech in the history of this nation.

January 20, 2017: History’s sorest winner threatens the 

nation he is about to lead after stealing the 2016 election

I. Mangrey reproaching.  Proud member of the Radical Left.                                                 

                                                                                    

Chrump's Talking A Lot, But He's Not Saying Anything

Threebate

October 23, 2020

After going full psychotic in the first debate, and missing the second one due to spending some quality time with the Virus That Don Built, Chrump braved steroids, women interviewers not willing to take any of his endless supply of bullshit. The Little Hands That Couldn’t begrudgingly signed on for a third and final debate. Chrump preemptively took issue with the moderator – a woman of color, and the topics previously agreed on by both sides.

Chrump needed a big debate win, but 

all he managed was a big debate whine

Crump also spent the week whining about the presence of a mute button, which was added as a result of his constant refusal to let either his opponent or the moderator utter a full sentence, without Chrump caterwauling lies and nonsense every 10 seconds, during the first debate. If anything, the mute button was implemented to protect Chrump from himself and his unstoppable need to hear is own voice every waking moment.

In the run-up to the big event, apparently wanting to warm up his misogyny muscles in preparation for berating Kristen Welker, Chrump went on 60 Minutes to verbally abuse Leslie Stahl for asking actual questions and calling out Il Douche’s repeated lies. The man with the world’s thinnest skin walked out on his 60 Minutes interview – like a real man.

At the final presidential debate of 2020, we were treated to – or victimized by, depending on your point of view – another incomparable performance by America’s favorite rabid wombat. Chrump showed up with a custom facial tint – according to experts, Sherwin-Williams’ Burnt Umbrage. Although the pre-debate tranquilizer darts had the desired effects, they were no match for the Orange Gas Cloud’s unstoppable mania.

Chrump’s meds had him restrained for a while, 

then more strident measures were needed

Chrump almost seemed human for several minutes, until he could no longer maintain his human façade and the real Donald Chrump emerged to take its rightful place, comparing himself to Lincoln, screaming about how his taxes continue their decades-long audit, about Mexican rapists and murderers, and about the pandemic just going away (again), and how great he was at killing more than 100,000 Americans with his Chrump Virus.

Talking Heads – Psycho Killer

I. Mangrey restraining. Only 10 more cheating days until Election Day.

Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid

The Future Is Closer Than You Think; You Can Smell It From Here

October 22, 2020

“Stop treating Donald Trump as if he’s an actual president of the United States. He is not. He’s playing one on TV.”
        Former RNC chairman Michael Steele’s advice to Democrats

Donald Chrump is always and only talking about himself, even when he sounds like he is debasing someone else or accusing them of various perfidies. Also, he is certain that everyone else is as greedy, corrupt and stupid as he is. Mostly, he is projecting his own massive flaws onto everyone else, but he might not be far off when it comes to his Republican’t enablers and rabid supporters.

It becomes clearer with each passing day that Donald Chrump is 51 cards short of a full deck. He is up the proverbial creek with a paddle, but no boat. And, one look at him will tell you this oddly-colored turd won’t float. Every single one of his screws is either loose or somewhere in his digestive tract…along with most of his marbles.

When he is not foaming at the brain over his Sisyphus-like struggles with dishwashers, showers, toilets and hairspray, or struggling to rein in his dentures, or desperately trying to breathe through his Adderall-eroded nasal passages, he is literally lying people to death by ignoring experts on pandemic response and thereby murdering tens of thousands of Americans. And all of this was prior to contracting his beloved coronavirus and getting hopped up on steroids.

And talk about killing one’s own people, Il Douche, is vying for top honors with the likes of Mao and Stalin. At least those two had a purpose. Chrump has been responsible for the deaths of over 100,000 Americans purely out of stupidity, malignant narcissism and unequaled apathy for the lives of anyone who is not Donald Chrump, Sr.

While we’re on the subject of brutal dictators, Chrump is now publicly calling for his lap dog Bill Barr to arrest Joe Biden for unstated reasons. Chrump is bellowing that Biden is a criminal; he is of course talking about himself. Chrump accuses journalists who are not reporting on the imagined crimes of Biden criminals; he is as always talking about himself.

Now we are supposed to show decency, empathy and simple human kindness as we wait to see how Chrump and the virus he has nurtured into murderous froth, manage to work out their issues. On the heels of the death of Herman Cain – who was a pandemic denier, telling people not to wear masks – someone used the analogy of an active shooter in an elementary school suddenly being taken out by a good guy with a gun. Should we feel sorry for the loss of the child killer’s life? No, we should not; we should simply be grateful that he was stopped before he killed anyone else. Chrump needs to be put out of our misery.

This is where we are with Chrump. He knew full well early on that the coronavirus coming into America from Europe (not China) was deadly and airborne. Despite knowing this, he lied to the American public, and continues to do so, and is by most accounts directly responsible for the deaths of more than 100,000 Americans. He needs to pay for his crimes one way or another.

Yet millions of people are going to, for a second time, vote for this failing, murderous, racist, fascist fruit bat. 

Trump ad Parody from Real Time with Bill Maher

So now, if after three years of living under a Chrump regime you still find yourself even considering casting your vote for this incompetent disaster, you really have to ask yourself whether you continue to support him for his flagrant racism or because of his rabid fascism or because you, like Donald Chrump are mentally challenged, if not incapacitated. Either that or some kind of sadistic sociopath.

I know we haven’t even made it to November 3, 2020 and the most important election since at least 1860. Obviously, things are so fucked up at this moment that no one wants even one more wafer-thin mint of challenging news, but it might be worth taking a moment to look ahead. If only to stop thinking about current events for a minute.

Only 1476 Days Until The Next Next Presidential Election

No matter what happens this November, Republican’ts will have to field a new gaggle of goofballs to run for president in 2024. Unless of course, Chrump gets a second term and those who do not leave the country, simply throw up their hands and countless meals, and cease caring, which allows Chrump to remain in office until he or Vladimir Putin dies.

Sources are reporting that two of the top ten choices for the top of the Republican’t 2024 ticket are daddy’s main squeeze Ivanka and treacherous cretin Don, Jr.

Just what America needs, another racist, fascist fuckwit from the poison Chrump tree

Or daddy’s little bean whore

Daddy Chrump couldn’t have been happier unless, 

instead of beans, it was Ivanka sprawled across his desk

The Republican’t braintrust are not without some modicum of imagination though. They are not only looking at “people” named Chrump to carry their eroding mantle. Some are saying that Fux News’ racist upper class twit T*&ker Carlson is also on the shit short list.

There are no doubt a number of other Republican’t dim bulbs preparing to throw their hats into the 2024 ring. With any luck they will forget to remove their empty heads first. Everyone’s least favorite senator – with the glaring exception of Moscow Mitch – Ted Cruz, friend of slavery Tom Cotton, Medicare fraudster/Florida Senator Rick Scott and white supremacist/upper class twit/Fux News Liar T*&ker Carlson are all preparing their 2024 presidential runs – a veritable Who's Who of WTF. This shit-list will leave many longing for the pathetic clown car of Republican’t primaries of yesteryear.

Yes, there are only 12 more cheating days until the election, but rest assured, the Cheater-in-chief and his Republican’t minions will continue cheating even after Election Day.

I. Mangrey, T. Doff and Al Moseded reporting. 

Thought For The Day

Many People Are Saying This

October 21, 2020

It’s not me saying it.  I’m not necessarily denying it, but just passing it along because so many people are saying it.  And these are some of the best people.  And they are saying it all the time.

Could this be true?

Non-comatose minds want to know.

For those of you either in denial, or simply prone to more positive outlooks…

American treasure and major pot-head Louis Armstrong

Fortunately, things seem to be getting worse for the guy who is making things worse for the rest of us. I wish him hell.

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM291wFFpwE
The Police

Vote! Vote! It Ain’t Illegal Yet!

The Voting Booth At The End Of The Universe

October 20, 2020

Here we are, with only 14 more cheating days until Election Day. And the Chrumpublican'ts are going to pull out all the stops. Or put in all the stops, depending on how you look at it. Dirty Donald, Moscow Mitch, Lily-Livered Lindsey and all the other anti-democracy supporters of Chrump’s campaign to burn down the country, continue to put up obstacles to stop Biden voters. We have a deadly virus and a deadly president, peddling racism, fascism and toxic idiocy to a nation much too full of aggressively and unabashedly ignorant sickophants. We need all the help we can get to make this election something to celebrate, not mourn. And Americans love taking pills, so here's a win-win situation if ever there was one...

Are you worried about Russian bots winning elections?
Are you scared shitless of Chrump being given a second term?
Are you sick of Republican’ts pissing on democracy?
Are you having trouble sustaining an election? 

Please don't hang up, this is important information about a powerful drug for a serious condition afflicting hundreds of millions of people the world over. And no, it is not a Chrumpian miracle cure for the virus Chrump has been nurturing along since January in order to kill off hundreds of thousands of us for reasons known only to the creature atop his head, controlling his "thoughts", or so many people are saying.

You may already be one of the many who need the most remarkable wonder-drug of all time - VOTEGRA.  Not just for men.  Not just for women.  Now available for anyone over the age of 18 and wanting to vote. Millions of people all over the world are suffering horribly and don't even know it. Millions more simply pretend that everything is just fine. Most, at this point, are fully aware of the damage already inflicted by The Orange Gas Cloud infesting our nation’s capital and spreading across our land and gradually the whole globe. Others are, as we speak, having their right to vote jeopardized by Republican't corporate backers and government operatives desperate to keep non-Republican't voters from exercising the most basic American right. The concept of one actual human casting one vote scares the crap out of Republican’ts. 

You may actually believe you're healthy and happy and ready to vote in every way. Or you may simply be in denial. Don't let another election go by leaving you feeling angry, depressed, hopeless, powerless, useless, out of step, alienated, Chrumped up or just plain stoopid. ESPECIALLY THIS ELECTION. The FDA has waived all safety regulations and precautions - and that's almost a stretch for them. This drug is too important to ignore any longer although, given the current anti-vote environment, VOTEGRA may only be available in Canada and Mexico between now and November 3, 2020. 

Are you suffering from Electile Dysfunction? 

It’s blue for a good reason.

Can't get into the booth like you used to? Are you voting blanks? Do you wish you could do it more often and make it mean something? Is your chad just hanging there limp and listless?  Is your vote count shockingly lower than you ever would have expected? Do you get the feeling your vote is about to be suppressed? Is your once worthless candidate now just a worthless has-been? Would you like to be able to throw a football through a tire? 

Do you want a president who believes in science?

VOTEGRA won't just help you keep an election for as long as you want. It may even help you prop up a government of your choosing for years on end. You'll be fighting off those corporate whores with a stick if you know what I mean. And why shouldn't you be - you will be able to put the pedal to the metal and make your vote count like you haven't been able to do for years. Who's your daddy now? With VOTEGRA your election will be valid every time.  No more just worriedly wishing you had an election - VOTEGRA can make you feel like you could push those buttons, pull those levers, grab ‘em by the ballots, any time you want to, well maybe not any time, but definitely next Tuesday.  Don't wait any longer - ask your doctor or senator if VOTEGRA is for you. If they say no, tell them to go f**k themselves twice. 

Do you care if America is Red or Blue?

Electile Dysfunction is no joke; this time we're voting to put the brakes on the most ignorant, incompetent, disgraceful, dangerous, racist, authoritarian American president in our lifetime, and possibly anyone else’s. The 2018 midterm elections provided some anti-schmuck braking on the worse-than-driverless Chrump-mobile. Chrump himself has purposely cut the brake lines before oozing behind the wheel, and he wants us to be his crash test dummies.  

Do you want a president who kills people every day?

You may have Electile Dysfunction and not even know it. Do something about it before it's too late and you end up with a full term of a porn-star-plooking conman, who would rather be bedding his own daughter, who lies more than he breathes, who tweets on the toilet and uses Fux and Friends as his primary advisors. Yes, since the release of VOTEGRA we have seemingly survived the second term of George W. Bush and one interminable term of Donald Chrump. As things stand at this moment, it hardly seems to have been worth the trouble.  

This time it is either some amount of real change, or the end is near. Take your damned medicine and vote your ass off. If there is not enough VOTEGRA within reach, find a way to get yourself and everyone you can find to the polls. Join the angry mob of radical left-wing anarchists right now. Get mad as hell and don’t take it anymore. Please don't let Electile Dysfunction wreck our lives any more than it has already. 

Possible side effects of not using VOTEGRA include runny candidates, listless legislators, successful Russian election meddling, successful Republican’t election meddling, continued unbeatable gerrymandering, purged voter rolls, depression, another Depression, Citizens United II (corporations are people and people are not), armed repression, cranio-rectal syndrome, Jared Kushner, President Mike Pence, President T*&ker Carlson, President Ted Cruz, White House Chief-of-staff Sean Hannity, short-circuited recounts, Ayn Rand, another Antonin Scalia, another Clarence Thomas, another Neil Gorsuch, another Boof Kavanaugh, another Supreme Court-appointed president, another Electoral College appointed president, continued coronavirus calamity, climate crisis conclusion, Armageddon, Legageddon. 

If your election lasts longer than four years contact your arms dealer immediately. 

Get VOTEGRA before supplies or your will to live run out!

With VOTEGRA  Chrump will just disappear...
like a miracle

Maintaining Elections since 2005

brought to you by your friends at Paying Attention 

Vote, vote, it ain’t illegal yet!

Funkadelic – Think! It ain’t illegal yet