Antique News

Lordy, There Are (Two-Year-Old) Tapes

October 27, 2022

“Lordy, I hope there are tapes.”
Famous Trump abettor-turned-Trump-regretter James Comey in 2017

Famed journalist/author Bob Woodward – who was instrumental in bringing down paranoid crook Richard Nixon (yes, it turns out he was a crook) – apparently had an epiphany. But first he further stuffed his already overflowing pockets by hoarding vital information. Woodward is counted among a number of so-called journalists and other authors who managed to gain access to Trump and then sat on information that was critical to the American electorate, democracy and history. They did this in order to maximize their own potential earnings by keeping this information secret until they finished writing their self-promoting books. Fuck these assholes.

With his second book on the Trump presidency, released in 2020, Woodward regaled us with the mind-blowing proclamation that Trump was “the wrong man for the job.” Thank goodness he told us because no one had yet noticed, as we were all completely engrossed in Benghazi, Hillary Clinton’s very dangerous emails and Anthony Wiener’s dick-pics. Woodward, not satisfied with his part in allowing Trump’s deadly mishandling of the COVID-19 pandemic, not satisfied with his aiding and abetting Trump’s dangerous, treasonous presidency, apparently has also been sitting on audio tapes – Lordy, there are tapes! – of conversations he had with Trump. Woodward now claims that he has suddenly realized that Trump was not just “wrong for the country.” Now we are supposed to believe this 50-year-veteran journalist when he says “Two years later, I realize I didn't go far enough. Trump is an unparalleled danger.” No fucking shit Sherlock!

And you will be whatever-the-opposite-of-shocked-is to learn that Mr. Woodward is unashamed to show his face everywhere in support of his new audio book disclosing, after all this time and the near-collapse of American democracy, his years-old tapes of Donald Trump showing what we all have known all along – that he is a dangerous, dimwitted, autocratic fabulist who hates America almost as much as he loves himself. Nice job figuring this out Woodward. What timely “reporting.” I almost wish this could be chalked up to his senility or stupidity, but I’m betting it’s not. I’m going with unmitigated greed. Woodward’s tapes are so old rumor has it they are on Betamax.

I. Mangrey reporting all the news that’s fit to keep hidden for several years, today.