Thought For The Day

Cloudy With A Chance Guarantee Of Alternative Facts

March 10, 2023

Façade Speaker of the House Kevin McQarthy, taking a page out of Donald Trump’s taking a page playbook, decided to hand over 40,000 hours of Capitol camera footage (that do not belong to him) from the January 6 assault on the Capitol to the single worst possible person in the United States – Fucker Carlson. We reported yesterday that in private Carlson hated Trump “passionately,” while in public he lauded his fellow loudmouthed liar with flowery praise and relentless lies of his own.

 Orwell That Ends Well

Thanks to McQarthy, Carlson cherry-picked exactly four minutes out of the 40,000 hours of footage to “prove” to his audience – who apparently have had their brains eaten by zombies – that the only people entering the Capitol on that day were “sightseers.” Apparently, Carlson’s interns went trudged through 40,000 – that’s four followed by four zeros – hours of video and were only able to come up with 4 – that’s four followed by no zeros – minutes – not hours – of what Carlson desperately tried to pawn off as proof that nothing whatsoever happened at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. 

McQarthy auditioning for the speakership he ultimately won after selling his soul 

When asked if he agreed with Carlson’s alternative version (the one Ratpublican senator Tom Tillis called “bullshit”) of the events of January 6, McQarthy replied, “Look, each person can come up with their own conclusion.” 

Oh I don’t know, maybe you could help each person come up with the same conclusion you originally came up with a few days after the assault on the Capitol and our democracy you fucking hypocritical asshat: 

“The president bears responsibility for Wednesday’s attack on Congress by mob rioters,” McQarthy said on the House floor. “He should have immediately denounced the mob when he saw what was unfolding. These facts require immediate action by President Trump.” 

Just days later McQarthy ran to Mor-on Largo to grovel and apologize to Trump before posing with his lord and slavior with a big shit-eating grin – which was entirely appropriate after eating all that shit. 

Does McQarthy remember saying this:

“These men and women in the uniform, they got overrun. One officer got killed…they got broken arms. You don’t understand what was transpiring at that moment and that time. People hanging. People brought ropes. When I got back into my building, I found the straps that they had. I don’t know if they come and try to kidnap somebody or whatever. But they, they were well planned for it.”

McQarthy showing that he can speak for himself

“What happened in this – what happened in this Capitol should never happen again. Anybody that participated needs to go to court, needs to go to jail. We, we have been clear about that from day one.”

Perhaps someone could help the halfwit Speaker recall this little ditty (when McQarthy called Fux News in desperation as the Capitol was being overrun by Trump’s seditionists: 

“First of all, this is so un-American. I condemn any of the violence that’s happening in the Capitol right now. Anyone involved in this, if you’re hearing me, hear me very loud and clear, this not the American way.”

No, but it is the Trump way, and the way of much of the Ratpublican Party, including Kevin McQarthy.

If McQarthy cannot remember anything he said, maybe he might recall the words of fellow Ratpublican Mitch McConnell one month after the failed coup:

“There's no question, none, that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of the day. The people who stormed this building believed they were acting on the wishes and instructions of their president, and having that belief was a foreseeable consequence of the growing crescendo of false statements, conspiracy theories and reckless hyperbole which the defeated president kept shouting into the largest megaphone on planet Earth.”

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
What do you think?