Broken News - Bye, Felicia

Bye, Bye Turdie

February 29, 2024

Anti-Democratic (understandable) and anti-democratic (unforgiveable) Senate saboteur “Moscow” Mitch McConnell, killer of decent legislation, stealer of Supreme Court seats, hypocritical enabler of the objectively worst president in American history – unfortunately, I’m not looking at you any more George WTF Bush – Donald Jism Trump, and all-around piece-of-shit-on-two-legs, has announced his long-overdue departure from his position as super-fucked-up leader of Ratpublicans in the Senate. Don’t let the floor hit you on the way out. Surely the Trump/Fascist Party will not replace McConnell with another reactionary, old, white, power-mad weasel. We should all be able to breathe a little sleazier now.

Good-bye, my damage is done here.

In Other News Of Turds

The Extreme Court has decided to go all in for the guy who appointed three of them. The Court (well not all of them one assumes) has decided to put their bloodmoney stained thumbs on the scales of justice in order to help Trump delay all of his court appearances – in particular, the not-so-mysterious case of the January 6^th Insurrection and Trump’s phantasmagorical insistence that a president (i.e., only Trump) has absolute immunity-for-life – so that he can continue to bamboozle his cult.

They are clearly throwing their lot in with Team Russia and the Russian wing of the Trump/Fascist Party by entertaining Trump’s frivolous and stunningly anti-democratic claim of presidential immunity. Regardless of how horrific their decision might be, this maneuver – wholly unnecessary and frivolous in its own right – has already ensured that Trump will not face any music from the justice system. Such as it is.

Do You Want Lies With That?

Autocracy is on the menu folks. The only chance we have to at least delay a new American fascism, is to crush Trump and his fellow travelers on November 5, 2024. And remember, just winning the popular vote by three million or eight million or forty million votes is not enough in our so-called democracy. The victory must not only be achieved in the anti-democratic Electoral College – a college with laxer admission standards than obedience schools for dogs – but might very well also need to get past a Congress that decides that Congress, and not the American electorate, or even the bullshit Electoral College, but a Congress whose Speaker (handpicked by Trump and Putin) might refuse to let anyone but the House of “Representatives” (who are in fact anything but representative of the electorate thanks to gerrymandering on steroids) pick the next president-who-would-be-king. We already had one Ratpublican appointed by the Supreme Court thanks to the egregious Bush v. Gore disgrace. Now, the Pro-Putin Party wants a turn.

Whatever you do, avoid reading this mind-blowing, heart-stopping, soul-punching article by Thom Hartmann: The New "Over the Top" Secret Plan on How Fascists Could Win in 2024

I need a nap. And possibly a lobotomy.

I might be watching too much news.

Naturally, supreme scofflaw and disgraceful partisan Clarence Thomas, whose Qanon-encrusted wife was much more than a cog in Trump’s insurrection, and who should but most assuredly will not recuse himself, will have his billionaire/fascist/radical-Christian nationalist-funded thumb on the now Trumpian gold-plated scale.

Funkadelic – THINK! It ain't illegal yet

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled happy thoughts.

Paying Attention™ Question For The Day

Out Of The Biden Pan, Into The Liar

February 27, 2024

The Democratic presidential primary in Michigan today features a serious protest vote intended to send President Joe Biden a message. The large Muslim community in Michigan is understandably frustrated with the way Biden is dealing with Benjamin Netanyahu’s now over-the-top response to the atrocities perpetrated upon Israel by Hamas on October 7^th.

Today's question is (and I have not heard anyone bring this up):

Since Netanyahu (who is desperately trying to distract his country from his Trump-like legal troubles) is a flaming right-wing neocon, who has a decades-long relationship with the Kushner family (Yes, that Kushner family) and has a history of dissing Democratic presidents, if these folks are unhappy with Biden’s performance on this issue, what the fuck do they think Donald Trump’s response would be?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Embry-No

Whines Of Life

February 25, 2024

Full disclosure: I used to be an embryo but I grew out of it.

According to the Alabama Supreme Court and many Ratpublicans, embryos are people.*

Really? Just so we’re clear – at the founding of this country, fully-grown Black people were considered 3/5 of a person, but now a clump of cells that resembles just about any living thing that lives on land at that stage of development can haul your ass into court and sue you for attempted murder? Just because an embryo is the same size as say, Mike Johnson’s brain (i.e., a grain of rice), that does not convey personhood status. For fuck sake, that's even too young for Jeffrey Epstein or Matt Gaetz.

Friend of yours?

The Embryo Has No Clothes

It all started with a very unhealthy fetal attraction. “A fetus is a person!” was the cry from the same people who do not believe in science 99% of the time. Suddenly, they decided that according to science a fetus is a person, and that according to them, for that one specific purpose, science is totally awesome. Kind of like the disgraceful Supreme Court decision that made George WTF Bush president despite having lost both the popular and Electoral College votes, and insisting that their decision could never be used as precedent in the future.

So now, the absurd fetus-as-person fiction just ain’t good enough. Like everything else about fetus fanatics, they want to keep moving backwards. Backwards on when life begins, backwards on same-sex marriage, backwards on racial and gender equality, backwards on Earth’s sphericity. And they are not going back to the future, they are just going back.

This delusion never released its grip on the small-minded, radical-religious, theocratic whackos over many decades. And no one is a better representative for this group, and a worse representative for the vast majority of Americans than current/not-for-long Speaker of the House and God’s own skunk MAGA Mike Johnson.

Forget the fetus. Ratpublicans like ‘em younger.

So what the fuck good is a birthday anymore.

Get a job, hippie

To Ratpublicans actual living people are grist for their Soylent Green mill.

The Court Of Pubic Opinion

The Alabama Supreme Court ruled that embryos are people because they “bear the image of God.” WTF. What the hell does God look like then? I thought I was made in God’s image.

We would like to thank the Alabama Supreme Court for coming out of, well, not the closet, out of the dumpster. They have lit the fuse on a political bomb that is about to see them go all Wile E. Coyote on their own dumb ass.

Meep! Meep!

Speaking of dumb asses, make-believe candidate Nikki Haley was asked about the Alabama court decision to stop IVF because throwing embryos away is murder. Haley, doing her best (albeit none-too-good) Flying Wallenda impression, said she was in favor of IVF while also saying she believes that embryos are babies. Oops, so much for navigating the tightrope; hope there’s an ambulance at the ready. So there you have it folks, Haley is officially on record as saying that she is in favor of killing your babies.

WARNING: All you male masturbators and menstruating women out there better beware. Wasting your precious sperm or wasting precious baby eggs by allowing your menstrual cycle to run its course (as God intended, since she’s not an idiot) will also be in the crosshairs of the Forced-Birth Police very soon. These fuckers will never be satisfied until one of them is posted in every single household in this country.

Final Word To My Forced-Birth Friends

I know that this is not a good way of having children, which is so damned important to you assholes, but go fuck yourselves.

Every Sperm is Sacred

_______________________________________________
*Does that mean they’re corporations?

I. Mangrey reporting.

Look Who's Fuckin’ Talking - The Jokester

February 23, 2024

Look Who’s Fuckin’ Talking™

Look boys and girls, it’s none other than everyone’s favorite funny man. He amuses everyone by making his mouth look like an anus. And making his brain look like silly putty. And making his words sound like a badly damaged spellcheck. And making America look like a laughing stock. Hide your daughters…

It’s Trumpy the Clown

Trump before putting on his makeup

He’ll make you laugh ‘til you puke…or maybe just puke

Trump tried to walk back his repeated statement that he was going to be a dictator only on day one. He’s now pretending he was just joking around. Every time he said it.

Comedians in Car Getting Covfefe

The only part the man with the most microscopic sense of humor this side of Kim Jong Un, was the “only on day one” part. As he tries to erase this frightening idea from the American consciousness, he is not joking about not meaning it; he is doing something much more common in his repertoire – LYING.

For The Record

Other things Trump claimed he was only joking about:

Move over Jerry Seinfeld.

Things it turned out Trumpy was not joking about:

It’s possible he just has a very, very bad uh-brain. I say we all chip in to get him a new one. Sure, no brain transplant has ever even been attempted, but it has to be worth a try. And no time like the present. For his sake, I say we do it. It’s certainly worth the risk.

Oh what the hell, go ahead. Use it. How much worse could he be?

This has been a Paying Attention™ special feature:

Look Who’s Fuckin’ Talking™

Thought For The Day

Cloudy With A Chance Of Falling Bodies

February 22, 2024

Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny seemed perfectly healthy – well, as healthy as one can be, imprisoned above the Arctic Circle in a Russian Gulag, having already survived repeated torture and poisoning. The following day, Navalny reportedly went out for a stroll – as one does as a political prisoner in the Arctic Circle – and came back all dead. This is why I’m not fond of exercising. However, it seems possible that we have not gotten the full story.

Alexei Navalny seen here while not being murdered by Putin

Analogous to Dick Cheney hiding out from authorities until he could sober up after shooting his friend in the face while the two men were out shooting intentionally-crippled birds in a barrel, Putin is hiding Navalny’s body until the evidence of his cause of death dissipates. Or until all of Navalny’s family and supporters have also expired, many no doubt in equally mysterious ways.

We Are All Alexei Navalny Now. Well, Not All Of Us

Putin fanboy Donald Trump remained silent for days after Navalny’s apparent sudden-death-by-murder at the hands of the murderous Russian dictator. Navalny was one of the few Putin opponents not to fall from a double-digit-story window. Though he was – like so many of Putin’s adversaries – healthy one day and dead the next. Once he figured out how to make any statement regarding Navalny’s demise about Trump, Donald has been comparing himself to the now-martyred Navalny.

If only.

Russia must not have any regulations on window safety,
which is just the kind of thing Trump supports

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day. 

Trump Fakes

It's Okay To Take This Guy At Fake Value

February 20, 2024

A Name, A Family, A Brand You (Absolutely) Can (Not) Trust

Remember Trump Steaks? Me neither. Apparently, they were made from actual animals of some sort.

Gone and forgotten*

There is only person known to successfully ingest a Trump Steak and live to tell about it.

If you call this living

Trump Steaks, available only at Bun and Run

Bun and Run – The Fastest Food Ever

Like almost every one of his fraudulent business ventures – like Trump Airline, Trump Water, Trump Urine Test, Trump University, Trump Presidency – Trump Steaks was not long for this world. Right now, after being beaten by E. Jean Carroll and Letitia James, and soon (fingers crossed) Fani Willis, Mr. Pussy Grabber is watching his beloved flagshit Trump Organization dissolve into a series of crushing lawsuits.

Trump Network PrivaTest Urine Test Kit

Another way to piss money away for Trump**

Trump’s latest attempts at abject failure were unveiled unleashed recently: a new cologne and new footwear.

Do you long for the chance to smell like fraud and failure? Donald Trump’s new eau de toilette – “Victory 47” – might be just what the dickhead ordered. It seems Little Donny Stinkbomb is taking the “advice” former Rep. Adam Kinsinger’s mentioned while describing the aroma engulfing Trump and assailing those in his vicinity: “It’s not good. The best way to describe it... take armpits, ketchup, a butt and makeup and put that all in a blender and bottle that as a cologne.” Oops, don’t think that was meant as advice. But now, all that can be yours, but be warned – no one knows how many toilette flushes it will take to rid yourself of Trump’s stench once you realize nobody will come withing half a mile of you if you even look at the bottle.

Desperate Donald also introduced his new line of knock-off copy-cat sneakers “Never Surrender Hi-Tops” retailing for $399. That is, until in a matter of days or weeks they end up making landfills more disgusting than ever. Many people are saying that the Trump Sneaks are made from all the unsold Trump Steaks, though somehow more nutritious.

Trump, seen here wondering why the hell anyone would

wear these ugly pieces of Trump-colored shit

So Much Losing

More losing coming soon: Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg’s 34-count felony Stormy-Daniels-pay-off/election fraud trial scheduled to begin on March 25^th, and a number of lawsuits filed by injured Capitol Police officers and Democratic lawmakers who were injured or otherwise harmed by Trump’s violent, twisted Race Force during the Capitol assault/insurrection could all produce damages adding up to hundreds of millions more than the already $550 million (and counting) he owes. Here’s hoping.

Speaking Of Losing Losers

Trump’s sycophantic cheerleader and 2024 Veep wannabe Fucker Carlson, after “interviewing” Vladimir Putin, went shopping and fawning over all the great bargains at Russian supermarkets (the one he was allowed to see), forgetting the fact that Russians must cough up around half their salaries to buy all these glorious, super-cheap groceries. Carlson compared this to the horrible, over-priced offerings here at home (again, leaving out the fact that Americans are subjected to historically disgraceful price gouging at the greedy hands of corporations raking in record profits on our backs).

Carlson told both viewers that seeing how great Russia is and how strong and powerful Putin is, he has been radicalized against America. Put this shit maggot on a no-fly list before he boards a plane heading this way. He could shack-up with Edward Snowden, except Snowden is an American patriot and Carlson is a traitor.

Being interviewed himself after his own pathetic display of lap-doggery, Carlson defended not asking Putin about the tendency of his opponents to die for no apparent reason when they refused to follow improper 15^th-story-window etiquette. He – and I am not making this up – “Every leader kills people. Some kill more than others.” Whi knew? Which of course begs the question (unless the question is being asked by Carlson), how many people did Donald Trump kill during reign? Not counting all the COVID-related deaths he caused.

Here's an idea: Hey Fucker, if everything is so great in Russia, why don’t you get yourself a lovely suite in a Russian high-rise – with great big, easily-opened and very unsafe windows affording spectacular views of the street below, and stay there? We wouldn’t want you to put yourself through all the American hardships when you could be luxuriating in Moscow. Permanently.

Quick Update

Amazingly and pathetically, before we were able to go to press, Trump’s mindless, and soon to be penniless, minions quickly bought out all 1000 pairs of his horrendous footwear. Presumably, we will soon all be able to know when we are in the presence of MAGAts without having to engage them in any way. You will know them by their appalling taste in footwear and by their stench.

_________________________________________________
*Except by the surviving families of those who were stupid enough to actually buy and eat Trump Steaks.
**Sorry, but it was unavoidable.

I. Mangrey reporting. Not buying any of it. 

TV Or Not TV, That Is The Question

The Retribution Will Not Be Televised (Well Some Of It)

February 18, 2024

The Story So Far

Well, the ball is rolling. Hopefully, it’s a snowball. A snowball that builds to an avalanche. It’s now three down, and I-lost-count-of-how-many left to go. E. Jean Carroll went 2-0 against Trumpy to the tune of nearly $90 million. New York Attorney General Letitia James is also 1-0 against Donald the Menace in her fraud conviction to the tune of somewhere in the neighborhood of $550 million (a neighborhood Trump only pretends to live in) and a 3-year ban on conducting business in New York for him and a 2-year ban on his idiot sons from same. Donald may need to “borrow” some of that blood-and-oil-stained $2 billion son-in-law Jared pocketed from the Saudis on his way out the White House door.

Here's the full breakdown of Judge Arthur Engoron’s devastating decision:

$355 million from Donald Trump (plus some $100 million in interest*)
$4 million from idiot son Eric Trump
$4 million from idiot son Donald Trump, Jr.
$1 million from ex-CFO/convicted felon Allen Weisselberg

There might also be some $50 million in legal fees, but everyone knows that Trump never feels obligated to pay those. I guess Donald’s minions are going to have to cough up a lot more dough to prop up their fake billionaire lard and master to help him pay his fines, and maybe even his lawyers. Either way, in New York at least, his brand and name are Mud.

The 90-page ruling describes the actions of Team Trump thus, “Their complete lack of contrition and remorse borders on pathological.” If any of these sub-human scumbags had a shred of ability to feel shame, they would lock themselves away and never darken anyone’s life with their presence. But, “pathological” is their middle name; and their behavior crossed that border long, long ago.

After the ruling was handed down, Letitia James took to the microphone. During her remarks she stated that “The scale and the scope of Donald Trump’s fraud is staggering, and so too is his ego, and his belief that the rules do not apply to him.” Funny, James didn’t mention his very, very large brain.

Yes, I would like fries with my schadenfreude.

The Insurrection Was Already Televised

The federal trial of defendant/traitor Donald Jazzhands Trump for inciting, aiding and abetting the insurrection of January 6^th – if it ever happens – will most likely not be seen live – unlike the mostly salacious and ludicrous misconduct hearing to determine whether or not (at least somewhat pathetically stupid) Fulton County DA Fani Willis – can stay on the Georgia election steal case because she was banging the prosecutor she assigned to the case. This assumes that Willis and her utter lack of self-control has not derailed the case. Either way, she has now tainted – at least in the minds of the mindless Trump faithful – what was a clean case with a mountain of unassailable evidence, including a perfect(ly incriminating) phone call placed by the defendant.

Unfortunately and unfairly, those interested in Jack Smith’s Jan 6 Insurrection trial will have to make do with artist renderings, news reports, or reports from Fux News and their ilk, and/or their own imaginations, for enjoying the long-overdue, critically necessary legal skewering of the disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president.

Preemptive court sketch/photoshop by Ann Artist

Happily, the massive RICO trial in Georgia – and possibly other looming court appearances (should any of them ever actually come to fruition) – is set to be televised for all to see – except of course Fux News, who will as always refuse to have anything to do with the actual realities of the case, offering instead their special mélange of alternative facts. They will be working feverishly, along with Russian interests, to protect Trump. And to protect their mentally malfunctioning minions from reality. All they need or want to know is that Trump remains the affront-runner for the 2024 Fascist/Trump Party nomination.

Trial/Trail/Trail/Trial

Trump and his lawyers continue to whine that all of these trials are interfering with his ability to campaign effectively. A large majority of Americans are complaining that Trump’s campaigning is interfering with their ability to watch him squirm during all of his trials. 

Bubble Boy

Donald Fraud Trump lives in his own bubble that nothing can penetrate if he refuses to let it in. The only thing this bubble boy loves, wants and needs more than money is being on television. Please make this sad, mentally and physically deteriorating little boy’s dream come true before it’s too late. Trump is after all a reality (albeit fake reality) TV celebrity. Let all of his court appearances be televised. We the people deserve the chance to enjoy/endure the Trials of Donald Trump. With any luck we will be adding a Trump Court TV channel to the already near-infinite line-up of cable offerings.

Let my people watch.

United States v. Donald Trump: Trump on trial 24/7

Gil Scott-Heron - Revolution Will Not Be Televised

____________________________________________________
*That’s $100 million as of now. As you may know, interest does not go down. Ever.

I. Mangrey reporting. Waiting for the dropping of another shoe. Or two.

BONUS NON-SEQUITOR TRACK:

Fred Neil - Dolphins

Paying Attention™ Secret Word Of The Day

I Am Not People (Or Soylent Green)

February 15, 2024

This post was written three months ago, but it was waiting for a special occasion to show itself. If by special occasion we mean something that happens all too often here in America. This episode took place at the Super Bowl victory celebration in Kansas City, Missouri yesterday. One dead, at least 22 (including nine children) with gunshot wounds. And what, you may ask caused these casualties? This is America so take one fucking guess.

If today is a day ending in ‘y’ there has been (on average) at least one mass shooting in the land where the Second Amendment is king. I know, you probably thought Donald Trump was king, but not yet. We have at least 263 more mass shootings until that happens. This made me think about our sacred Amendment, and something new crossed my mind.

Here’s a new twist on a very old riddle. A Constitutional koan if you will.

A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

The Constitution opens with the three words “We the people…” It does not say ‘Me the people…’ or ‘I the people…’ or ‘Me the person.’ We the people – a phrase carefully chosen, as was every word in the document. to denote a social network designed to incorporate union, community and compromise, in support of a nation. Not one person. Every word in our Constitution was argued over in dank halls, pubs and houses by men in powdered wigs, with wooden teeth and a searing distaste for kings (and Black people), in search of a new form of government.

There’s no ‘I’ in people

The Second Amendment also opens with three words – “A well-regulated militia” – (okay, technically four words, but the hyphen binds two words into one). A little further along, the amendment also uses the word “people.” Not the word person or individual. And of course, me being a constitutional originalist and all, and hopefully something of a man of words myself – though lacking both wig and wooden teeth – (I many not have the best words, but I have some damned good ones, and more than enough to get by in our barely literate society), I cleverly noticed that, grammatically speaking, the word ‘people’ refers back to the opening phrase “a well-regulated militia.” And our founding motherfuckers…I mean fathers (which when you thing about it non-judgmentally, are synonymous…but I digress) were nothing if not very particular about their words, and grammatically correct.

Speaking of specific words, nowhere in the Second Amendment does it say anything about anyone – be it militia or individual – owning arms. It says “keep” and “bear.” Both of these acts are entirely possible without owning them outright. Members of our law enforcement and military are issued firearms for use in performing their duties. They do not get to take these tools of their trade home with them or bequeath them to their progeny. They may only keep and bear them while on the job. One could rightly argue that this is precisely what our exceptionally persnickety wordsmiths of yore meant.

Then it hit me. There is no such thing as a one-person militia. Any one-person militia is likely to be looked upon in a very bad light by the authorities, and end up on the wrong side of prison bars or a cemetery lawn.

The conclusion is not new, but now that grammar has been added to the debate, I think we can finally put this colicky baby to bed and get a good night’s sleep – not with the fishes, but in the comfort of our own beds. Unfortunately, it seems necessary for us to bury this colicky baby alive before some fucker grabs it from America’s cold, dead hands or shoots it to death for no fucking good reason.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Secret Word Of The Day.                                                                                                                                                 

TREASON ACCOMPLISHED

Fellatio In Moscow

February 14, 2024

Carlson and Putin in the green room before their big, hot date

A Fitting Story For Valentine's Day

It was love at first blight. New BFFs (Bleating Fascist Fucks) Fucker Carlson and Vladimir Putin, joined farces for two hours of propaganda and perfidy. Because he was not born in time to interview Hitler to ask him “Why do you think the Jews should be exterminated? I think it’s an important question and people need to know your feelings.”

By all accounts – you won’t get me to go anywhere near that steaming pile of assholery – Putin used almost every one of those shamefully wasted 120 minutes to pitch his manure, barely letting his mark get a word in edgewise. And while any minute devoid of the fingernails-on-chalkboard tones of Fucker Carlson’s voice is generally a victory for humankind, replacing that horrendous screeching with Putin’s propaganda is hardly a reprieve.

Carlson’s hard hitting ass kissing was a two-hour sodden soliloquy by Putin

Today, since he is alive (proving there is no God) and very disturbed, Carlson made his way to Moscow because, “not a single Western journalist has bothered to interview the president of the other country involved in this conflict, Vladimir Putin.” This “conflict” as Putin pal Carlson called it saw Putin unilaterally invade Ukraine for one reason and one reason only – he is a sociopathic megalomaniac who wants to take control of every country/region that had been part of the failed Soviet Union. You can see why Carlson felt the bloodthirsty Bolshevik deserved a fair shake.

Fucker Carlson is no stranger to hanging around with
morons and maniacal strongmen (even loser, weak ones)

The Russians have a phrase for unwitting (and otherwise) assets who are used to spread propaganda, disinformation and chaos in pursuit of world dominance. That phrase is “useful idiot.” Fucker Carlson in many ways fits that bill, or at least he used to. However, since Carlson was fired by Fux News (having previously been fired by MSNBC and CNN) and relegated to some dank, diseased outpost of the internets, he must hold a special place among useful idiots like Donald Trump and other members of the Fascist/Trump Party. Fucker Carlson is a useless idiot. And you could say he really blew it with Putin.

One more thing...

While we’re on the subject of idiots, useful and otherwise, when asked about his views on NATO, Putin’s once very useful idiot Trump told his less useful idiots that if a member of NATO was arrears in paying their dues (dues that do not actually exist) and was attacked by Russia, “No, I would not protect you. In fact, I would encourage them to do whatever the hell they want. You gotta pay. You gotta pay your bills.” Said the repeatedly bankrupt fake billionaire who is absolutely famous for, and has bragged about, not paying his bills. How do you think he got so rich? Hint: it wasn’t by using the moldy peanut he considers a very, very large uh-brain, that rattles around in his skull.

I. Mangrey reporting. Member of the Dia Tribe. 

If I Could Only Remember My Crime

He Knows Not What He Does*,
But He Fucking Did It, And Everyone Else Knows

February 12, 2024

At a recent event Trump was asked if he was going to use campaign funds to pay the penalties in his civil cases. He responded, “What penalties? I didn't do anything wrong. That's been proven as far as I'm concerned.” Whoa, easy there Dr. Dementia. We saw all the drawings of you in the courtroom. It was in all the papers.

This was only days after a jury handed down a verdict ordering Grabby McPsycho to cough up another $83 million, and an impending payout that could easily be in the quarter-billion range. Oh yeah, those penalties. Our sources tell us Trump may be going for the insanity defense since the conman/dickhead defense does not seem to be working.

Sponge Don Square “Hair” seen here trying to remember his name

Trump repeatedly tells his deer-in-the-headlights rallygoers that not only did he defeat Obama in “an election that everyone said couldn’t be won,” but he is, right at this very moment leading Obama by a lot in the polls. Der Furor also does not know what day it is, whether it’s day or night, or that he owes E. Jean Carroll $8.3 million.

Huh?

Trump makes words happen; if only he could get them in the right order

Trump continues to emit series of words vaguely resembling thoughts and sentences in the presence of his blindly faithful flocks of fuckwits.

Try this one on for size: “And the danger from within is far greater in my opinion from the then the danger on the outside of our country. That's danger. But this is serious da— the fascists, the communists, the syria Socialists?”

Though Donny Dememtia was facing a crowd of his lemmings, he was as always, addressing a mirror reflection of himself. He – and it’s not me saying this, many people are saying this – he is the far greater danger from within. Everybody who is not bathing or drowning in the Trumpian Kool-Aid knows this.

While corporate media – with the help of an erroneously appointed special counsel (the new James Comey/Democratic saboteur from the Justice Department, Robert Hur) – continue to flog the “danger” of Joe Biden’s age, the very-slightly-younger and considerably more deranged and dementia-addled (not to mention criminal and fascist) mound-of-feces-in-a-suit known as Trump continues to speak in forked tongues. Proving that Joe Biden’s age is no match for Donald Trump’s late-stage syphilis and/or dementia when it comes to being non compos mentis, and unfit for elected office (as if Trump’s previous time in office was not proof enough).

To quote George H.W. Bush’s incomparable (that’s not a compliment) vice president Dan Quayle, “What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.” Yes, how true, and amazingly stupid that is.

_________________________________________________
* Yeah, he does, but if he doesn’t it’s because he’s psychotic, has dementia, or syphilis, or all of the above.
Or he’s just fucking lying as usual.

Broken News - Is It Elvis, Or Is It Memorex?

We Are All Elvis Now

February 10, 2024

We recently learned that Desperate Don thinks he looks like Elvis. Trump lied that “For so many years people have been saying that Elvis and I look alike.” If he meant the King’s present state – having been dead for 46 years – then okay, it’s entirely possible there is a decent resemblance, though even the current Elvis (assuming you don’t believe he’s still alive and hiding out with JFK) is likely healthier than the current Trump. Or maybe if Elvis, in his final days, overweight and drugged up, had his face rearranged by a rabid badger, or pummeled with a baseball bat. If Trump means he looks like Elvis in his prime, he’s out of his tiny little mind. But we knew that.

Pathetic loser Trump posted the picture below, claiming it was out there. He asked his mentally deficient cult members to weigh in on the delusionally imagined resemblance

What is the opposite of resemblance?

No doubt that Trump imagines many big, strong men coming up to him with tears in their eyes, men that never cried in their lives, saying, “Sir, has anyone every told you that you look just like Elvis? In fact, you look more like Elvis than Elvis. How do you do it, sir? Please excuse the tears, sir. Any chance you could sing Love Me Chicken Tender, sir. I bet you sound just like Elvis too. And please sir, would you autograph my dick with a Sharpie?”

This of course is a step down from the Dim One claiming to be “The Chosen One.” Or from his mentally blind, reality-deaf and historically dumb followers acting like Trump is some sort of Orange Jesus.

Not So Swift

On the eve of the Super Bowl, after the well-deserved humiliation that followed Trump’s pitiable plea to be compared to the King, the Thing pivoted away from his latest delusion. He then took another step away from reality and is now trying to sell his minions on a new “separated at birth” type comparison. “Many people are now saying, and they’re saying this very strongly and powerfully, that I am so popular and I would say, well it’s not me saying this, but many very smart people are saying that I am incredibly good looking, possibly the best looking, that I look almost exactly like the mildly talented at best – Taylor Swiffer. I would say that it’s almost impossible to tell which half of the picture is me. But I have better legs.”

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled hallucinations.