Happy Thanksgiving from Paying Attention

November 22, 2018

Enjoy this special moment from the Annual Mangrey's Thanksgiving Day Parade...

This might be the best parade ever.  Believe me.

 

Travel safely, eat wisely and/or too much and love the ones you're with.

Peace out.

The staff at Paying Attention

Thought For The Day

Climate? He Can’t Even Spell It.

November 20, 2018 

Donald Chrump was forced once again to act presidential by touring some of the devastation on the heels of the most recent California fires.  Chrump twice referred to the town of Paradise as Pleasure, finally corrected by California Governor Gerry Brown.  The following exchange took place…

Reporter: Does seeing this devastation, though, change your opinion at all on climate change Mr. President?” 

Chrump: “No. No. I have a strong opinion.  I want great climate and we’re going to have that.”

“I have a very, very large uh-brain, but I left it in my other hat.”

 

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Chrump The Insult Prezident Dog*

How Do We Get This Mutt To Stop Humping Our Leg
and Peeing on The Oval Office Rug?

November 19, 2018

First…

As I take keys to fingers, the midterm wave continues to get bluer, presumably because those crooked Democrats insist on counting every vote.  It is simply disgraceful.  Before all the votes were counted, many Republican’t candidates were clearly winning.  Counting all the votes, it is now obvious, tends to make Democrats win.  As Republican’ts have been screaming from the rooftops for decades, this constitutes an unfair advantage.  More on this as final vote counts continue to come in. 

“Why are you low IQ, fake reporters so mean to Chrump? 
Is it because I poop on you every day?”

*formerly known as Chrump The Insult Candidate Dog, again with apologies to Triumph The Insult Comic Dog (seen below) who is actually funny, incisive, and much better looking than Chrump

 

Bad Prezident! Bad Prezident! Down Boy!

 

Chrump The Insult Prezident Dog is rapidly descending into, if this can be believed, a more profound state of madness than when he first accosted the political scene by calling all Mexicans rapists and murderers.  Ahhhh, the good old days, when America could still believe that a racist conman with a very, very small uh-brain would never become president.  America back then was like an innocent child, but that poor little child ended up seeing her father humping the neighbor’s dog.  And not a classy, well-groomed pedigree, but a three-legged mutt with rabies – ironically, half French poodle, half Chihuahua.  America will be scarred for life, but will hopefully embark on an immediate and lengthy course of therapy to mitigate the damage.

 

Contrary to Jeb Bush’s matronly admonishment, “Donald, you’re not going to be able to insult your way to the presidency,” Chrump was in fact able to insult his way to an all-expenses-paid White House vacation – complete with incessant golf outings, travel to exotic lands (not shithole countries mind you, but nice places with lots of white people), and an array of big-screen TVs and all the time in the world to watch them.  But, the insults did not stop once he gained access to the People’s House.  Chrump has spent most of his time there insulting his way to World War III and/or impeachment, or at the very least, the near destruction of whatever good America has brought to the world. 

Chrump made the 2018 midterms about fear and ignorance. Fear, ignorance and an almost fanatical devotion to himself.  Chrump’s act consists of nothing other than insulting everything in sight – Mexicans, the Chinese, POWs, women, handicapped people, Jews, Muslims, people of color, the military, the intelligence community, the intelligence of the vast majority of Americans, and in fact the inarguably diminished intelligence of most of those who support him for reasons they cannot even explain.  

Der Furor also made it abundantly clear that the midterm elections were all about him.  And for once, he was right.  Despite the fact that Chrumpy the talking raccoon told a reporter, “To be honest, I’ll be honest, I thought it was…It was a very close…to complete victory,” this was one of the bluest, waviest midterms in history.  It could not be clearer that voters, who turned out in overwhelming numbers, wanted to send Chrump a message.  That message was not, as Chrump seems to want us to think he believes, “Thank you,” it was much closer to “Fuck you!” I know, it is shocking to think that our nation’s leader is so stunningly delusional beyond repair, but it just might be true.  Take appropriate action.  Your umbrage may vary.

The Party of Chrump did manage to win two of the most high-profile races – those for governor in Florida and Georgia.  These two campaigns showed that the only way to stop strong, surging, progressive African-American candidates, was with virulently racist, reactionary white males.  As Andrew Gillum said of his opponent, and as is equally true of Donald Chrump, “I’m not saying my opponent is a racist.  I’m simply saying that the racists believe he’s a racist.”  Apparently, the only way to stop a black guy with a vote, is a white guy who decides who will be permitted to vote and who will not.  Despite all of that, both races were squeakers, but the white racists carried the day.  Some people think all of this is problematic.

I. Mangrey recounting. Don’t make me come over there.                                                                                                            



America's Worst Lady

Melanie Makes Her Move?

November 17, 2018

Chrump has the best words, the best wives and the best people

Just when you thought it could not get any crazier (I know you did not really think that, but please allow me this literary device), it has gotten considerably crazier.  Stepford First Lady (or First Stepford Lady) Melanie (some call her Melania) Chrump, the one-woman caravan of illegal aliens preparing to take over our government, is now officially and overtly throwing her weight around the West Wing. The worst first lady has apparently fired deputy national security adviser Mira Ricardel because she transgressed some unwritten law.  To her I say, I don’t really care do you?

With all due respect, of course

Melania said of Ricardel, “It is the position of the Office of the First Lady that she no longer deserves the honor of serving in this White House.”  I believe the third Mrs. Chrump meant Ricardel no longer deserves the horror of serving, but I could be wrong.  Is Melania making a move to take over the White House?  Does she have Chrump by the tiny little balls?  Does she control her husband’s stockpile of “hair” spray, and consequently the keys to power?  Who will she terminate next?  We’re looking at you John Kelly.

Chrump was overheard saying, “It’s okay if Melanie, or even Melania fires people.  She’s the mother of one of my children I think…I think it’s Eric maybe.  I’m in charge and she’s my wife for now, and I haven’t cheated on her ever for many months now, so she can do whatever she wants.  I’m very happy that she is finally interested in what I’m doing.  And let me tell you, I’m so sick of this whole Constitution thing.  No one even knows who wrote it or where it came from.  It’s nothing but a bunch of outdated regulations from like a hundred years ago.  I’m the best at getting rid of regulations, and I can get rid of these too.  Just watch, there’s nothing that can stop me.  Nothing.  Many people are saying there are things I’m not allowed to do.  They don’t know much about being president.  I know more than any of them.  Believe me.  I’ve studied the Constitution very closely, I know all the words including some that no one else knows about.  Many people said I shouldn’t or couldn’t fire Sessions, but I did it.  They said I couldn’t grab him by the pussy – well, I didn’t, but I could have if I wanted to.  I still might.  We’ll see what happens.”

I. Mangrey regaling.  Don’t piss off the missus.

Mythed it By That Much

Donald Chrump: Self Made-Up Man

November 14, 2018

You know the old saying, “The shit doesn’t fall far from the asshole.”  It has to be admitted that Chrump comes by his dishonesty honestly.  He comes from a long line of crooks and ne'er-do-wells.  His father, Fraud Chrump was a racist conman in his own right.  Chrump himself has always claimed to be a self made man.  He told a town hall audience in 2015, “It has not been easy for me. And you know I started off in Brooklyn, my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.”  Even if this was true, it would be a pathetic perfidy from a poor little rich boy.  But it was not true.  Not even close.  Chrump got $413 million (in today’s dollars) of mostly illegally transferred dollars from big bad daddy.

Little Donnie Rich

The New York Times recently detailed the sordid financial shenanigans of the Chrump Crime Family.  Tax fraud, inheritance schemes, never-more-aptly-named dummy corporations to hide money from the IRS, in short a lifetime (actually two, and now three…and counting) of crime.  Apparently, Little Donald had such a good head for business that he was being paid over $200K/year by the age of three.  He was a millionaire by age eight – by which time he could barely spell his own name.  Donald and his siblings worked tirelessly to defraud the government out of taxes that were owed. Naturally, Chrump will blame his lawyers and accountants for something he will say never happened anyway.  The buck never stops.

Young Donald quickly showed prowess in helping to manage daddy’s dollars.  Little Donnie Rich apparently had the wherewithal to help his parents hide vast sums of money from the IRS.  What a sharp young lad.  No one could have known then that he would one day “grow up” to become a fake president.

One of daddy Fraud Chrump, Sr.’s last lucid acts, as he was falling deeper into Alzheimer’s (although many people are saying he was instead trying to disavow knowing any of his family or owning any of his criminal, racist past), was to notice that his dear Donald was trying to change his father’s will.  As you have already guessed, Donnnie was trying to keep everything for himself in order to shield himself from his many failed projects, which were bleeding him dry.  At the time, Fraud, Sr. solicited the help of Donnie’s sister Maryanne (then a federal judge) to protect his empire from Donny and his creditors, saying something “didn’t pass the smell test.”  What Fraud, Sr. was smelling was the early emissions of an Orange Gas Cloud that would one day poison, and still appears more than capable of annihilating the United States of America.

His eyes are bigger than his stomach, much bigger than his 
very, very large uh-brain; nothing is bigger than his ego

More Modern Mythology

“It’s is a very scary time for young men in America, when you can be guilty of something you may not be guilty of.”  Yes, it is indeed a very difficult time for rapists and sexual assaulters of all kinds, possibly even if you are one of those and also a Supreme Court nominee, or even a Prezident.  What is this world coming to?  These vicious, uncaring victims of rape and sexual assault know no bounds in their desire for so-called justice.  They will use any means necessary – including eye witnesses, official reports and even the absolute truth – to achieve their ends.  So look out all you actual or would-be rapists out there, this world unfairly values women’s accusations of sexual assault.  It is not safe for you in this scary time in America.  The only good news is that your Prezident has your back.  He has been there a hundred times.  He knows what it is like to be credibly accused over and over and over again, of sexual misdeeds.  He feels your pain.  And he causes mine.

File Under: When You’re Her Father, You Can Do Whatever You Want

In all the excitement of his 2016 nomination,
Chrump forgot where Ivanka’s eyes are.
He sure had no trouble finding her ass.

Who can forget, especially since I keep reminding you, Chrump ogling and groping his beloved Ivanka in front of the entire world at the 2016 Republican’t National Convention?  It seemed so natural, as if he had done it a thousand times before.  Don’t forget, as Chrump has said repeatedly in public, if she wasn’t his daughter perhaps he’d be dating her.  And we all know what he means by ‘dating’.  Chrump is talking about having Ivanka replace Nikki Haley as UN Ambassador, presumably so they can work more closely together.  And we all know what he means by working more closely together.

I. Mangrey, doubled over in pain.  Don’t cry for me Argentina…Oh, what the hell go ahead and cry for me.

The Times They are a Strangin’

Get Your Chrump On

November 11, 2018

On this Day of Remembrance, marking the centennial anniversary of the World War I Armistice, let us remember that the so-called president of the United States backed out of visiting the Aisne-Marne American cemetery because he was afraid of getting his “hair” wet.  Why does Donald Chrump hate our troops?  And why the fck does he care so much about his fcking “hair”?

I find it interesting that so many, let’s call them people, want to change the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution because times have changed.  One in particular, let’s call him the fake president, keeps screaming about the so-called invasion of foreigners (you know, the ones that are not from Norway) who pose a grave threat to our national security.  Therefore, he insists that if not we, then he must fix the Fourteenth Amendment – a cornerstone of the inclusiveness that makes America what it is.  Somehow, these same people would just as soon shoot you in the face (I’m looking at you Dick Cheney) as harm a single letter of the sacred Second Amendment, despite the fact that our daily mass shootings threaten more than our national security.

It remains frightening to me that 40 percent of this country is delusional and addicted to the lies, authoritarianism and white nationalism coming from Der Furor.  Despite the significant, at-least-temporary-life-saving changes to the House of Representatives due to begin on January 3, 2019, we remain stymied and almost suffocated by the Toxic Orange Gas Cloud and those who remain hypnotized by its fumes.

A very stable Janus

As everyone knows by now, Donald Chrump believes that the Attorney General of the United States is tasked with protecting the president, in this case – from himself, among others.  As most people who are not Donald Chrump know, the Attorney General is not, in fact, the personal lawyer for the president, let alone his Roy Cohn.  El Prezidente has installed, in defiance of the Constitution and common sense, what passes for his Roy Cohn – except that Roy Cohn, though crooked to the core, was a competent lawyer, unlike Matt Whitaker by all accounts.

It appears that very soon, this president will be in actual and dire need of a personal attorney, as various jurisdictions are nearing the moment when the myriad crimes of Donald Chrump finally make it to some number of courtrooms.  Chrump is poised to make Richard Nixon look like Mother Teresa.

 “I can tell you Matt Whitaker is a great guy.  I mean, I know Matt Whitaker.”
Donald Trump, October 11, 2018

 “I don’t know Matt Whitaker.  Matt Whitaker worked for Jeff Sessions, and he was always extremely highly thought of*, and he still is**.  But I didn’t know Matt Whitaker.”
Donald Trump, November 9, 2018

The Scream, and it’s latest explanation

They say the pendulum of politics swings back and forth.  I just hope the pendulum of politics is not like the pendulum of physics.  The real pendulum will eventually come to a grinding halt due to gravity.  Sure, it can swing back and forth, back and forth for quite some time under the right conditions, but unless it is swinging in a vacuum, it will come to a dead stop.  We are not living in a vacuum…it just feels like it.

Todd Rundgren/Utopia – Shinola

__________________________
*Not by anyone who actually thinks
**What he still is, is a conman who is under investigation by the FBI; something else he has in common with his new boss

 

I. Mangrey reprimanding.  Don’t let the sun catch you crying.                          

                                                                              

Post Midterm Mortem

Checks on The Unbalanced

November 9, 2018

Chrump called out by name a number of defeated Republican’ts who he claims lost because they “didn’t want the embrace.”  They did not want the Godfather’s kiss on the cheek.  Chrump somehow failed to single out those who lost despite and/or because of embracing the embrace and the embracer. 

We remain under dire threat from domestic terror on two fronts.  There is the substantial white supremacist wing of the Republican’t party.  The Charlottesville terrorists who murdered one person, the multi-bomber from just before the midterms, and the mass murderer from the Tree of Life shooting.  All of these very fine people were enabled, encouraged and incited by the fake prezident.

Find the prezident

The other front is the lawless, self-obsessed rabid orange raccoon in the White House – the fake prezident himself.  Poised to destroy the Mueller investigation, if not the actual evidence, the anti-democracy, anti-intellectual, anti-reality human bucket of KFC continues his unfettered (soon to be significantly more fettered) assault on the Constitution he swore (with his tiny little fingers crossed) to protect and defend. The Disaster-in-chief poses a clear and present danger to the United States.

“Hope you enjoyed your little midterm, losers.  None of your
puny people can do a damn thing until…
whatever, January, I think.  By then it’ll be too late.”

Democrats received six percent more votes overall, and despite having the deck perpetually stacked against them with gerrymandering and electoral hanky-panky, they picked up at least 30 (may end up with 38) House seats; that is the largest gain for Dems in four decades – since the wave meant to send a message to previous Republican’t criminal president Richard “Yes You Fucking Are A Crook” Nixon.  Dems also won 16 governors’ races.  Fun Fact: Even in the Senate races, Democrats garnered 15.5 percent more votes than Republican’ts overall.

On the other hand, Republican’t voters elected a dead pimp to Congress in Nevada.  And Nazi fanboy Steve King won re-election in Iowa.  Go team!

Chrump supporters mourn midterms and plan for 2020

Soon after the final vote was cast, the result of which was having his Crayola-orange raccoonesque head handed to him in the midterm elections, Chrump insisted that his Chief-of-staff John Kelly inform Jeff Sessions it was time for him to spend more time with his family.  The Cheese-puff-in-chief finally completed the super-slow-motion firing of Sessions that began during the first week of his ill-gotten presidency.

In Sessions’ place is Chrump’s hand-picked serial Mueller basher Matthew Whitaker, who has called the Mueller investigation a “witch hunt” that has crossed “a red line” and “should be shut down.”  Whitaker literally got a job on cable news in order to audition for a job in the White House.  He knew Chrump would see him if he was on TV and saying things Der Furor likes to hear.  Next thing you know, Whitaker is Sessions’ chief-of-staff and now he is acting attorney general (emphasis on acting).  This guy would not qualify to run The People’s Court…or The Price is Right for that matter.  Nonetheless, Chrump finally has his attorney general.  America does not.  Not that the one we just lost was worth the cracker he was printed on, but at least he knew that his job was not to answer Chrump’s insane question, “Where’s my Roy Cohn?” 

Ignoring protocols (as usual) regarding order of succession in order to install Whitaker, who will certainly and gladly do whatever he can get away with to kill the Mueller investigation.  With any luck, the fact that Whitaker has many more reasons to recuse himself from the Russia probe, will become an issue in both the real world and Chrumpworld.  According to Fux News’ Judge Anthony Napolitano, Chrump “has chosen someone who does not qualify under the law to be the acting Attorney General of the United States…That's why he did not take the oath of office.”   

According to a New York Times op-ed co-written by Kellyanne Conjob’s lawyer husband, “…Trump’s installation of Matthew Whitaker as acting attorney general of the United States after forcing the resignation of Jeff Sessions is unconstitutional. It’s illegal. And it means that anything Mr. Whitaker does, or tries to do, in that position is invalid.” 

Whitaker prepares to fake take the reins and dispose of his ex-boss

Chrump and his very, very big uh-brain will be looking to pull a series of fast ones before the changing of the guard in Congress. 

I. Mangrey reporting.  Fuckle up bolks.

The Chrump (D)effect

The Civility War

November 8, 2018

As the dust settles on the historic midterm that resulted in a House of Representatives with the largest number of women ever, we can finally take some comfort that Donald Chrump will have to answer actual questions of the American public.  That would be the same American public that preferred Chrump’s opponent by over three million votes, but alas, was thwarted in their victory by the slave-era institution known as the Electoral College.

Another woman waiting to stomp Chrump into dust

 

Unfortunately, we must remain vigilant and white-knuckled until the 116^th Congress is sworn in on January 20, 2019 and the lame duck 115^th, one of the lamest Congresses ever, gets shown the door.  Between now and then Chrump will become even more outrageous and authoritarian, as many forces coalesce to bring him face-to-face with justice, reality and with any luck, a fate worse than death.  He may yet shoot someone on Fifth Avenue.

Also, after Chrump’s most recent drubbing at the polls (more women are entering Congress as we speak), White House Deputy Press Secretary Hogan Gidley said, “Let’s have a debate about ideas.  Let’s not have a debate about who could send out the nastiest rhetoric.”  Did this imbecile just come out of a coma?

First of all – fck you Hogan Gidley.  Second of all – fck your boss, the king of incivility.  Maybe when Chrump can go for more than 30 seconds without sliming anyone, maybe then we will consider becoming more civil.  Calling a racist a racist does not fall under the heading of uncivil.  That is called telling it like it is.  I know honesty is not something valued, or even recognized, by your boss, but just because the truth makes him – of all people – uncomfortable, does not make it uncivil.  So, take your phony plea for more civil discourse and if you will pardon the expression, and even if you will not, shove it up your ass.

During his post-midterm feces-flinging tantrum/press conference, among all the self-pity, blaming others and general whining, Chrump tripled down on his attacks on the press.  At one point he called CNN’s Jim Acosta a “rude, terrible person” (as always, Chrump was talking about himself) and then commanded an aide to take the microphone away from Acosta, who dared try to ask serious, pertinent questions of the Orange Gas Cloud.  Then, to add infraction to idiocy, the White House decided libel was the best medicine.  Sarah Slanders disseminated a video knowingly doctored to show Acosta assaulting the aid, who in reality had assaulted Acosta.  This White House knows no bounds when it comes to lying.  Or hate.  Or stupidity.  Or Acosta was subsequently stripped of his White House press credentials.  Do actual fascist actions count as fascist tendencies?

Chrump talks to himself in front of reporters at latest press tantrum

Stay tuned for more hijinks, chaos and daily disasters on this season of America’s Got Problems.

I. Mangrey recounting.  So much winning.

Not A Wave, But A Win

A Very Different Washington

November 7, 2018

The Democrats have wrested control of the House of Representatives from the Tea Party, the Chrumpians and assorted other ne’er-do-wells.  The testosterone level in the House has dropped significantly thanks to a long-overdue, massive influx of women.  It was certainly not a tsunami, but as Fux News’ Chris Wallace said after his state-propaganda network was the first to call Democrats controlling the House, “It is a very, very big deal.  I know a lot of listeners out there, their heads are exploding but this is going to be a very different Washington.”  Fux’s most important demographic – the Fake Prezident – will definitely have trouble keeping the toxic gasses that fill his skull from detonating.

Uncle Sham Wants YOU.

Donald has lost his security blanket.  No more hiding behind idiot lackeys like Devin Nunes.  There had better be incessant investigations into the Chrump Crime Family.  Maybe someone will look into the Russian interference in the 2016 election.  Maybe someone will look into the Russian interference in yesterday’s elections.  Maybe someone will look into the Republican’ts’ obstruction of justice, obstruction of voting, obstruction of democracy.  It will be much more difficult for Chrump to interfere with the Mueller investigation.  Mueller’s findings will not be buried.

The next big fight: Mueller vs Chrump - The Marine vs The Maroon

Dynamic, high-profile progressives Andrew Gillum in Florida and Beto O’Rourke in Texas came up short, but made major statements in very red environments.  Stacey Abrams in Georgia remains too close to call in her bid to defeat professional vote thief Brian Kemp.

Republican’ts, true to form, re-elected two multiply-indicted criminals – Duncan Hunter and Chris Collins – to the House.

The Senate turned redder, but there are many more Democratic governors, including major assholes Scott Walker and Kris Kobach going up inflames.

Let’s get the Orange Gas Cloud where it belongs…
in the rear view mirror

I. Mangrey recovering.  Keep those cards and letters coming in.