Too
bad for the young lad. No more invites to Ratpublican cocaine orgies. But look
on the bright side little guy, you can spend all the time you want at Hitler's
mountain retreat. Maybe you can run for dog catcher...or get caught by one.
Not everyone is on a Führer name basis with the
head Nazi
Was he hoping to see his Führer’s ghost…
or old (really old) Adolph himself…or maybe Elvis?
What else is on this little twerp’s bucket list?
After
conceding defeat – Wait,
what!? – rather than bidding us all a fond farewell, the
little shit threatened America with, “The time for gentile politics as usual
has come to an end. It's time for the rise of the new right, it's time for Dark
MAGA to truly take command.” I will agree though that I too have had enough of
gentile politics.
Sure,
he meant “genteel” politics, and someone, I guess his mom eventually fixed it
for him. At least he didn’t threaten us with “marshall law” or the “gazpacho
police” of Marge Taylor Groane.
Now
Cawthorn can pursue his hobbies – taking firearms to the airport and driving too
fast with a revoked license. Or he can just go back to Hitler’s Eagles Nest retreat
and retire...and maybe take a page from his cherished Führer and leave us the
fuck alone.
Springtime for Hitler
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck
For The Day Year.
One of
these dipshits preparing to march on the Capitol on Jan 6, 2021
is Doug Mastriano (all these dumb-ass white fuckers look alike to me)
From
God’s Lips To My Fingertips
May 23, 2022
Besides living in a state of constant angst I also live in a state of Pennsylvania. Apparent human-swine
hybrid and current Ratpublican nominee for governor in Pennsylvania is planning
to shoot America in the face if he defeats his Democratic opponent – current District
Attorney Josh Shapiro. A fervent 2020 election denier, State Sen. Mastriano
planned to replace the state’s electors who by law were charged with certifying
Pennsylvania’s electoral votes for Joe Biden with fake electors who would
support Tmrup’s attempted coup. Mastriano was also an in-person insurrectionist who claimed – contrary
to hard evidence – that he left the Capitol when things turned violent. And Mastriano is no Donny-come-lately. His fever dreams of crazy conspiracies go way back.
Adding to his already
eww-inspiring resume Mastriano, currently under investigation by the January 6
Select Committee, continues to ignore a legal subpoena to come before the committee
to explain his actions in relation to the insurrection. Including why he lied about
his exact whereabouts on that fateful day.Nevertheless, Mastriano crushed the competition in his party’s recent
primary for governor in the Keystone State.
During his acceptance
screech Mastriano promised to do his best to support the corona virus, lynch
Critical Race Theory, work tirelessly to curtail voting rights and LGBTQ+
rights, and make bathrooms great again. One would be wise to assume that given the
go-ahead by the Extreme Court, Mastriano would not hesitate to outlaw all
abortions in the state, and then contraceptives, and then a woman’s right to
say “No.”
Another Fair-Weather
Religious Fanatic
Mastriano not only
denies the results of the 2020 election, he is already loudly and proudly
preemptively denying any future presidential election (and, one assumes, any
other election occurring in his vicinity) that does not satisfy his whims should
he become king of Pennsylvania. And apparently, he will gladly ignore the fact
that God handed Democrats any victory by willing voters to elect Democrats. Because
after all, how could anyone vote for a Democrat unless God ordained that they
do so. How is it that radical religious fanatics like Mastriano can so easily
ignore when God disagrees with them? How can they prove that God is on their
side? When will they just STFU? Does God need to literally smite them down
permanently to get her point across?
Doug Mastriano believes
that God has ordained him to keep Democrats from ever getting the Keystone
State's electoral votes. Period. It is not his intention to accomplish this by
getting more votes for Ratpublicans. He seems unwilling to waste his time with
such unpredictable pursuits, preferring instead to simply, for lack of a better
word – cheat, which as noted he already attempted to do in 2020.
Taking a poison page out
of fellow-authoritarian Vladimir Putin’s pitiable playbook, Mastriano accused
his Jewish opponent in the upcoming gubernatorial race of - without using the
word - being a Nazi. He warned his supporters that the “future of
Pennsylvania under Josh Shapiro is an oppressive regime not unlike East Germany
where your freedom will be snatched away.” This from someone who has vowed to
interfere with any electoral outcome he does not like. Mastriano, a Christian
nationalist and far-right conspiracy theorist who continues promoting the Big
Lie that the 2020 presidential election was stolen from disgraced, twice-impeached,
two-time-popular-vote-losing, one-term, seditious, ex-president and failed
blogger Donald Tmurp
in Pennsylvania.
Mastriano, who served as
an intelligence analyst in East Germany, clearly learned how to manipulate
through propaganda. He also believed that God ordered up a dust storm - in the
Iraqi desert, where dust storms are as common as racists in the Ratpublican
base - to aid his victory against Saddam Hussein's army during Desert Storm
because his wife was home praying her little ass off.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck
For The Day.
George WTF Bush for his long-awaited, albeit
accidental admission: “Russian elections are rigged.* The result is an absence
of checks and balances in Russia, and the decision of one man to launch a
wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq.” In one moment, he soiled
himself and quickly corrected his moment of truth, saying, “I mean Ukraine.” And that was with Bush having his script right in front of him.
We can
take a modicum of satisfaction that there's some small thing rattling around
between his ears that knows he's a war criminal. We can only hope it haunts
him.
Good to see he
hasn’t lost a bit of his unmatched oratory prowess
Evil Dick and his dummy George
*Says
the man who lost the popular vote, then had the Supreme Court stop the counting
of votes in Florida where his brother was governor, and finally appoint him as
43rd president.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck
For The Day.
Apparently not everyone is aware of the existence
of the internet. All the world’s information instantly available everywhere,
all the time. You don’t even need a computer per se. Just a phone. Nonetheless,
a much-too-large percentage of people remain painfully – to us, not seemingly
to them – unaware of non-alternative facts about far too many things. Common wisdom
holds that being so stunningly ignorant is easy. I disagree. Go figure. It seems
to me that being so consistently unaware takes incredible discipline, focus and
an almost fanatical devotion to maintaining a coma-like level of obliviousness.
Being stupid is hard work and a full-time occupation. And the pay is for
shit. Yet there are millions and millions of devoted experts at being mind-blowingly
senseless.
Which
begs the question: if ignorance is bliss, why are these treacherous cretins so violently
pissed off all the time?
Speaking of the availability of information, a
recent study at the behest of Interior Secretary – and first Native American
cabinet secretary in this nation’s history – Deb Haaland, exposed the heinous
goings-on at Indian boarding schools. You know, the “schools” that kidnapped
Indian children, cut off their hair (which to native people is practically sacred),
canceled their original names, beat their native languages out of them and did
everything possible – including torturing, sexually assaulting and murdering them – to keep them from being
themselves, and in many cases from ever seeing their people and their families
again.
Eugene McDaniels - The Parasite (For Buffy)
It
is long past time for this country to acknowledge that the genocide our
predecessors perpetrated upon this land’s original inhabitants made Adolf
Hitler look like Mother Teresa. Despite modeling his concentration camps and
extermination policies on the American reservation and extermination policies
enacted against native peoples, Hitler was thankfully unable to sustain his
genocide long enough to match the sheer numbers of those from whom he drew his
murderous inspiration.
Tmurp’s “very fine people”: What, no
pitchforks?
Secretary
Haaland is calling for a Truth and Reconciliation commission. Good luck with
that. Truth and reconciliation are two very foreign concepts in America. And we
don’t take too kindly to no foreigners ‘round here neither.
From the fact that their Drear Leader lost the
2020 election bigly, to the fact that price-gouging corporations are more
responsible for the current inflation rate, to the obvious effects of the ongoing,
unrelenting climate crisis, to the fact that they themselves
are in many cases flaming racists, misogynists and neo-fascists, and to the fact that this nation was built on genocide and slavery, many of our
fellow citizens are aggressively and irredeemably anti-reality.
Being
stupid is a full-time occupation. And America is dangerously close to full
employment.
Carlson has also made a name for himself hawking
so-called “Great Replacement Theory.” The very theory the recent (Wish I could
say ‘most recent,’ but that can never really be said about mass
shootings in America, at least not without a reasonable guarantee of being
proven wrong within a day or so when the next batch takes its place) mass
shooter used to justify his racist/terrorist rampage in a Buffalo, NY grocery
store. The same conspiracy behind the Charlottesville, VA torch bearing racists’
chanting “Jews will not replace us!” and “You will not replace us!” while
protesting in favor of keeping the Confederacy alive, and then being called “very
fine people” by then-racist-president Donald Tmurp. The very same despicable conspiracy
theory Fucker has been blathering on about over and over again during what
MSNBC’s Chris Hayes has called Carlson’s “White Power Hour.”
Fragile, bigoted, hateful and murderous white
guys are all to happy to believe that there is a movement afoot to replace
white people with non-white people in a number of overly-white countries, not
the least of which is our own homeland – you know, the one we stole from this
land’s original inhabitants. And who the fuck was it brought all those
involuntary “immigrants” over here – before there even was an America – in the
first place? If you really need someone to blame, Fucker, just look in your
mirror.
New Yorker Magazine staff writer and dean of
Columbia University School of Journalism Jelani Cobb had this to say about
replacement theory:
“The idea that somehow African Americans are party
to replacing anyone is ironic. If we’re going to be realistic about this, the
population of this country is between one and two percent Native American. They
were one hundred percent of the population of North America at the time of
contact. If there is anyone who has the language about replacement, it is in
fact what white Europeans did to the indigenous population of these lands. That’s
the great replacement we have to grapple with in this country.”
They say that long
COVID can result in brain damage that is similar to the deterioration that
occurs with advanced aging – stealing some 20 years of mental competence, or a
10-point drop in IQ. This is nowhere near the brain damage and precipitous drop
in IQ associated with watching the brain-eating-bacterial-bullshit that is
Fucker Carlson’s nightly assault on humanity.
Bruce Cockburn - Stolen Land
- 1994
I. Mangrey
regurgitating. Carlsons will not replace us.
The following blatant lies were
uttered under oath during the Senate confirmation hearings of five currently
(unde)serving members of the United States Supreme Court, each of whom was
nominated specifically for their radical religious belief and deeply held
desire and promise to overturn Roe v. Wade and subjugate women:
Clarence Thomasǂ 1991: I have not made a decision
one way or the other.
Sam Alito 2006: Roe vs. Wade is an important decision of the
Supreme Court that was decided in 1973, so it’s been on the books for a long
time.
Neil Gorsuch* 2017: I will tell you that Roe vs. Wade,
decided in 1973, is a precedent of the United States Supreme Court. It was
reaffirmed in Casey in 1992, and in several other cases.
Brett Kavanaughǂ 2018: I said it was settled as a precedent
of the Supreme Court entitled to respect under principles under stare decicis
Amy Clowney Barrett** 2020: Roe vs. Wade clearly held that
the Constitution protected a woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy. Casey
upheld that central holding and spelled out in greater detail the test that the
Court uses to consider the legality of abortion regulations
This is how human rights and
democracies die.
Many People Are Saying That Mud Is Transparent
Just so we’re clear, the people who disparage science at every
turn, who think that maybe drinking disinfectant might kill a virus, suddenly
claim that science tells them when life begins and gives them the right to
decide what women should be permitted to do with their own bodies.
These nimrods caterwaul at every opportunity insisting that
climate science is unsettled because 3% of the world’s climate “scientists” are
not convinced of the most obvious fact in human history: that human beings’ reckless
addiction to technology, particularly internal combustion, factory farming and
now the mining of bitcoin, is implicated in the accelerating collapse of the
environment.
I look forward to someone with more time on their hands and
better resources coming up with the percentage of biologists who believe that
life begins at bend-over-whether-you-want-to-or-not. Or even at conception.
In
a stunning and futile gesture to seem even vaguely relevant to the 21st
Century, Alito quoted renown beer enthusiast, credibly accused sexual assaulter
and perjurer Brett “I Still Like Beer…Do You Like Beer” Kavanaugh six times. A
thoroughly modern mooncalf if ever there was one.
Bonzo Dog Band – Bad
Blood
Apparently
someone or something took a leak* on Alito’s Medieval malfeasance, alerting the
hoi polloi to the impending roll-back of human decency. It just figures that
when Ratpublicans finally side with science, it would have to be science from
the 17th Century.
Alito claims historical
precedent for aborting women’s rights to control their own
bodies. If he bothered to read history other than that lauding a 17th
century witch-hunting, abortion-hating Englishman, Alito would learn that abortion
has been a widely accepted, practice beginning in antiquity and continuing
through history. According to historian John M. Riddle, there may have been more
access to reproductive care for many women in the actual Dark Ages (approximately
the 5th century to 10th century) than they have in many
parts of the United States today. Guess which parts.
Re-enactment
of Alito-esque scientific method
Motherfucker’s Day
Just
in time for Mother’s Day, on a day that henceforth will be known as
Motherfucker’s Day, Alito and his hench-maggots –
Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Clowney-Barrett (all of whom are radical Christians
who fear and loathe the Founders’ explicit calls for separation of Church and
State) – let loose with their plan to ensure there will be more mothers
than you can shake a dick at. And if you do happen to shake a dick where it
don’t belong, congratufuckinglations, you are a motherfucker…and a new deadbeat
dad. But don’t worry lads, you can’t be held responsible for your actions (if
you’re white). According to Ratpublicans, you are doing God’s work by creating
life, without doing life.
As
an extra added bonus, the soon-to-be-mother you fucked will be legally required
to carry your sperm-and-eggs to term, while you go to jail for some totally
unrelated crime, never knowing, let alone caring, that you have forced a new
life into this godforsaken hellscape. Luckily you will have a bunch of other
white dudes making sure the involuntary mother of your abandoned child can’t
get welfare, child care or decent schooling. And the unsuspecting, involuntary
mother will not be afforded paid maternity leave – so high-fives all around.
Also lucky for you, you cannot get pregnant no matter how much love you get in
prison.
Samuel Alito trying very
hard not to swallow after some quality alone time in his chambers
For
the record, all of these rapists-of-the-law – Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and
Coney-Barrett – lied and/or perjured themselves whenever they opened their
mouths about Roe v. Wade. And poor Susan Collins; how can she live with herself
after assuring the American public that the chaste, if beer-addled Brett
Kavanaugh would most certainly uphold settled, resettled and repeatedly upheld
law would remain so. More important, how can we live with herself.
Alito’s daft…I mean draft opinion determined that the “inescapable conclusion is that a right to abortion is not deeply rooted in
the Nation’s history and tradition. Apparently, neither is Alito’s religiously
fanatical “thinking.”
Anyone
who insists on being anti-choice must be put on a list to receive the result of
every single rape, incest or other unwanted pregnancy until there are none
left. These are the same idiots who want the government’s hands off their
Medicare, but they want them all over women’s bodies. The same mental
defectives screaming about how disease-preventing masks steal freedom, ignore
the freedom of women to decide what to do with their own bodies. USA! USA! USA!
With
any luck, our self-inflicted climate crisis will accelerate beyond our wildest
expectations and/or ignorance and put this whole sorry mess to bed.
*Correction:
It was actually Alito who took a leak on American women. Someone else leaked
his despicable draft. We regret this error.
I.
Mangrey reporting. Don’t forget to check your scam folder for more fun from the
Extreme Court.
Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs – Li'l Red
Riding Hood
(Band name and song take on new meaning in today’s climate)
Recall
that disgraced, twice-impeached, treasonous, ex-one-term-president and failed
blogger Donald Tmurp stood back and stood by while the crowd he incited (for months)
attempted to 1) violently overthrow the United States government,
2) hang Mike Pence, 3) kidnap and/or kill Nancy Pelosi and other members of
Congress while they 4) assaulted Capitol police, 5) defecated on Capitol walls,
and 6) stole personal and government property. As leader of the free
world maybe Tmurp should have been calling the cops instead of watching his thugs killing them.
Dangerous chalk graffiti
on Collins’ sidewalk. Oh, the humanity.
“Susie, please, Mainers want WHPA —–> vote yes, clean up your mess”
Susan Collins claims to be pro-choice. Pennsylvania’s Democratic Sen. Bob Casey has a
long history of being anti-choice. One of the two will be voting for the abortion rights
bill being brought to the Senate floor today by Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. You’ll never
guess which one. I’ll give you a hint: it’s not lying sack of shit Susan
Collins. And guess who else voted against abortion rights:
Sen. Joe Mansion (D-GOP).
Oh,
and the officers called to the scene of the “crime” found that the chalk
message was “not overtly threatening.” Neither was it covertly threatening. Did
she even bother to fucking read it, or did Collins skip right to concern, nail-biting and pants wetting?
Meanwhile,
Collins continues wasting precious oxygen that could be used by others to much
better advantage.
Susan Collins tasting her
own medicine
I. Mangrey re’splaining.
Keep your bullshit off my body.
“They might as well start sending robots up
here. You can't do anything. I think it would really cut back on the amount of
people that would want to come up here and serve, I really do. We don't need
that.” Sen Tommy Tuberville (R-$)
“That is exactly what we need you brainless
bag of bones and bullshit.” Ed Venture, Editor, Paying
Attention™
Saying
The Stupid Part Out Loud
May 9, 2022
It’s not like anyone ever accused
Ratpublicans of holding themselves accountable for anything they insist on
holding others accountable. And it’s not like anyone expects the party of Tmurp
to obey any law they find inconvenient or annoying or depriving them of
ill-gotten gains.
Super-Tmurp-y, single-digit-IQ Sen. Tommy
Tuberville (R-AL) is one of Congress’ worst violators of the STOCK Act. Apparently
the Alabama asshole thinks the purpose of the Senate is to pad his bank
account. While that might be the best he has to offer in his current post, the United States Senate, if not Alabama, deserves better. Tuberville complained that proposals
to ban members of Congress from trading stocks would “really cut back” on the
number of people willing to serve. Sounds good to me.
According to Business Insider, Tuberville, a
former college football coach, with no political experience, and executive brain
function hovering around coma, has violated the STOCK Act some 132 times, to the
tune of $894,000.
Someone should tell these greedy fucks that
their job description is “public servant.” Not public sponge.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
