Empathy For Dummies

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Thought For The Day - It's The Drugs, Stupid

Cloudy With A Chance Of Side Effects

July 11, 2023

As if the obnoxious, ubiquitous, often potentially dangerous television advertisements hawking drugs you never heard of weren’t bad enough. Each commercial ends with a litany of mind-curdling side effects: Crockloxy may cause bleeding, headaches, insomnia, cranio-rectal insertion, psychosis, Republicanism, or global thermonuclear war. Do not take Crockloxy if you are pregnant, planning to be pregnant, are likely to be within 50 yards of someone who is, was or might ever be pregnant, if you plan to operate heavy machinery, smart phones or refrigerators, or if you are allergic to Crockloxy (this is one of my favorite warnings – how the fuck would you know you’re allergic to something you only just found out existed 30 seconds ago?). Do not take this medication if you have hair, skin, teeth, internal organs, or plan to live past Wednesday.

Apparently, these bullshit ads weren’t having sufficient economic impact. They had become so ubiquitous that people stopped even noticing them. I guess we haven’t been asking our doctors if these drugs are right for us enough for Big Pharma to rob us blind (I wonder if there’s a drug for that).

Madison Avenue must have been getting desperate to attract our attention anew.  They have kicked their bullshit up a notch. Now all these drugs are starting to have their own theme songs and/or dance routines. These drug ads are starting to have production budgets that rival many feature films.

Don’t forget to ask your doctor, or someone who plays one on TV, or maybe some homeless guy, if Crockloxy is…oh, fuck it, just go out and get you some. What could it possibly hurt? You too could be singing in the rain, dancing in the streets…or dead.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think? 

Fraught For The Day

So Long, And Thanks For All The Filth

July 10, 2023

I’ve been in the throes of yet another existential crisis.

I now can’t decide whether it will be the rampaging Climate Crisis or Artificial Intelligence that in the not-too-distant future will be the final blow to humanity.

But then it hit me.

I am now convinced that AI will use the Climate Crisis, and most of human kind’s immeasurable aversion to acknowledging its very existence, to rid itself of the very messy, increasingly divorced from reality and intelligence, human species. Hopefully AI will be kinder to the planet than we have been.

Either that, or AI will lower its expectations of ruling the entire planet and will instead (easily) find a way to take over America by getting us to Second Amendment ourselves out of existence.

In any event, we’ve had a good run.

Not really, but we certainly enjoyed ourselves to death.

Freak out…

I mean, Peace Out.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.

You're welcome.

What has you fraught for the day?

Thank God - Pat Robertson R.I.Hell

For some mysterious reason this important item did not get posted on the appropriate date (seen below). We happened to find it between the couch cushions the other day. But, it’s never too late to celebrate a happy occasion…

No, Seriously, Thank God

June 29, 2023

Lunatic televangelist, Christo-fascist Pat Robertson is dead. Don't expect him back in three days, or ever. May his death be a blessing.

Highly Recommended Musical Interlude...

Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk

Fun Fact For The Day

Marge And In Charge Discharged

July 7, 2023

Separated at birth

Wow. Brain-damaged (and that’s being generous) EmptyG has been thrown out of the increasingly insane Fascist Party’s House FreeDumb Caucus. Apparently, she is too close to ersatz-Speaker Kevin McQarthy and has been saying mean things about her fellow dumbasses. 

aka Lord of The Flies Caucus

It appears that the FreeDumb bunch is distraught because malignant, moronic Marge has not been bringing the crazy like she used to. Despite recently posing with an assault weapon with the Capitol as a backdrop, calling Lauren Boobert “a little bitch” was a bitch too far for the other MAGAts. Regardless what their “thinking” might be, it’s good to see all these whackos set up their circular firing squad. So, what will EmptyG do now that she is a caucus of less-than-one? Inquiring minds couldn’t give a shit.

Just thought you might like to know.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.

Broken News

Fighting Liar With Liar?

July 6, 2023

It is clear that bragging about grabbing women by the pussy, two impeachments, getting creamed attempting a second treasonous term, inciting an insurrection, getting indicted for espionage with several other major felony indictments looming, have not dampened the abject, cultish fealty the majority of the Fascist Party faithful (You know…morons) unwaveringly bestow upon their lard and slavior.

Trump’s lead among primary voters has only widened since his latest crushing blow, according to national polling. Every single primary rival has lost ground in the past two months – even those who had no ground to lose. No one has lost more ground than Florida Governor Ron DeFascist.

Assholes can’t resist a dickhead

Indictment For The Win

We have it on good alternative authority that President Joe Biden and his team are hard at work trying to find a way to peel off some of Trump’s support among the not-too-bright/not-beholden-to-the-law crowd in case Trump is the Fascist Party nominee once again. Biden’s advisors have come to the conclusion that their best bet is for the president to get indicted in order to woo some the 70,000,000 idiots who are likely still planning to vote for the disgraced, twice-impeached, twice-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president.

Lock me up! Lock me up! Lock me up!

Team Biden is well aware that no matter what, Trump will still have more indictments under his elastic, stretched-to-the-limit belt than Biden could ever hope to amass in such a short time. Even if Biden does manage to get himself indicted, he will have his work cut out for him if he hopes to get close to the 70-plus counts Trump has already racked up, and Trump is only getting started. 

Nonetheless, the Biden campaign is busy holding focus groups to determine which possible indictment would attract the greatest number of nitwits. Should he expose himself in public? Start inviting spies from China and Russia to his resorts to show off classified documents? Shoot someone on Fifth Avenue? Incite a coup against himself?

At the moment, cartoon character/hot air buffoon Donald Trump is riding his indictment wave like a bitch. The worse it gets for the Inciter In-chief, the better he does in the polls. This shocking shithead is only four points behind Joe Biden right now. will his next three or four indictments have the same effect? Will he take the lead after his first conviction? Will he become forever-president after his third or fourth? Inquiring minds want to rip their own heads off.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled heebie-jeebies. 

Use The Fourth

What would summer be without reruns? 

Here's one from Paying Attention™’s Fourth of Julys past. No ghosts. Just gasps. Sit back and enjoy this thrilling story of yesteryear, brought to you without commercial interruption…

Independence Day Extravaganza

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
July 4, 2018

On this 242^nd anniversary of the great experiment in democracy that is the United States, I am reminded of a day back in 1976, during our nation’s Bicentennial Brouhaha, when the man who pardoned the criminal Richard Nixon – unelected president Gerald R. Ford – dared to show his face in Philadelphia – the birthplace of American democracy (Anyone remember that?), and right outside Independence Hall of all places. 

Despite the city’s attempts to relegate protesters to a remote location, far away from Ford, a ragtag file of demonstrators – the Philadelphia Painted Faces Brigade – flouted the anti-First Amendment attempt to countermand the right of “people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances,” and braved a phalanx of constabularies and angry “patriots,” to be near Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell and Nixon’s handpicked successor/enabler.  Members of the PPFB were told to “love it or leave it,” caused to dodge projectiles, threats and epithets, but this tiny but determined group, eventually joined by more aggressive agitators from New York, stood their ground and made their voices heard.  It was a big story (actually, a tiny one) in all the papers (well, one of them), and the lads were photographed extensively by several men in very nice suits.  All members eventually showed up on America’s Most Ignored list.

Philadelphia Bulletin, circa July 5, 1976
(Thanks to BtB for archival material)
inset below

Two founding members of the PPFB – July 4, 1976
The Punishment Brothers, Cruel and Unusual 

Zappa/Beefheart – 200 Years Old

Incendiary signage was waved.  Anti-authoritarian chants filled the air.  And yes, a flag may have been set ablaze, either to signify the rockets’ red glare, or perhaps the bombs bursting in air, or possibly to express outrage at the presence of the man – himself unelected to the highest office in the land – who pardoned a criminal president, the lingering resentment of the recently ended Vietnam War, and the long history of genocide, slavery, government sponsored corporate malfeasance, international tomfoolery, and all the other intolerable acts carried out in the name of the American people.

Gil Scott Heron – Bicentennial Blues

That Was Then, This Is Then-er

Forty-two years later, members of the PPFB remain committed to the ideals of a nation that values gender, economic and social equality, a government of, by and for the people, a healthy environment, and what some have referred to as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Some people never learn.

As we celebrate the Fourth of July in 2018, we have a president more criminal than any other.  We anxiously await the report and/or further arrests pursuant to the investigation of the 45^th – and most fascist – president by Special Counsel Robert Mueller, who is looking into connections between said president and a panoply of Russian oligarchs, spies, lawyers and other friends of this president’s idol, Vladimir Putin.  Countless members of 45’s inner circle have Russian connections.  An unknown number of Russians attended his inauguration, including various attendees at exclusive, invitation-only inauguration events. 

One cannot help but wonder how many Russians have attended other inaugurations.  I wonder how many Russians attended Barack Obama’s inauguration.  I wonder when, if ever, Republican’ts in Congress might start to question the relationship between their party’s leader – who was unquestionably helped, if not catapulted, into office by Vladimir Putin (who despised and feared Hillary Clinton) – and the Russian government.  I will not be holding my breath…or my tongue.

Der Furor has also announced his plan to meet privately with his Russian benefactor – so there will be no actual record of their conversation.  This is usually an indication that El Dummo is sharing state secrets.  If this meet turns out half as well as the recent punking by Kim Jong Un, the next Fourth of July might feature real rockets’ red glare/bombs bursting in air, if not proof through the night that our flag is still there.  I say, if it walks like a schmuck, and it quacks like a schmuck, and it has the world’s most ridiculous “hair,” it will hopefully end up in prison, or at the very least impeached, ostracized, and a pariah for all time.

What is that pile of shit on top of its head?
(undoctored photo, I swear)

It is ironic that on our nation’s anniversary there has been a leak of plans to change the very nature of our Constitution.  Once again, Paying Attention has exclusive reporting thanks to our new intern, Willie Nilly who spoke to a highly placed, anonymous, non-existent source, who gave the alias Creep Bloat.  “Get ready for some serious Constitutional rewrites.  These guys are not backing down and they have some very big, very stupid ideas.  What the hell do you think is going to happen once the Court is stacked, and loaded for the Middle Ages?  This is only the tip of the shitstorm we can expect from now on, unless the Tumor-in-chief is excised once and for all.  Me, I’m moving to Greenland.  Like NOW!”

Here are some of the proposed changes Jared Kushner, who (among all the other jobs he always was, and has since proven he is absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, unqualified, incapable, and not-the-least-bit-interested in doing) was made responsible for restructuring the federal government, is “working” on:

Amendment I: Congress shall not interfere with any law demanding an establishment of religion, or more accurately Christianity as law of the land.  The president (as long as it is a white, male Republican) shall be free to abridge the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, or to petition the Government for a redress of grievances as he sees fit, or simply throws a fit.

Amendment II: An uneducated electorate, being necessary to the security of a Republican-controlled State, the right of the people to remain purposefully and aggressively ignorant, shall not be infringed. Oh, and more guns please, mainly for white people.

Amendment III: Any Soldier shall, even in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, and in time of war, can do whatever they want, such as grab them by the pussy, regardless of any law that may appear to be contrary.

Amendment IV: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, is quaint and obsolete, and no Warrants shall be necessary, nor probable cause, nor Oath nor affirmation, and any place shall be searched, and any persons or things shall be seized at the whim of the Executive or his agents, especially his daughter Ivanka, whom he covets above all else (and not in a good way).

Amendment V: All persons shall be caused to answer for capital, or otherwise infamous crimes (unless having anything whatsoever to do with Russians), despite any danger to themselves; do not think for a moment that you cannot be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; or be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against yourself, or possibly be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law if you dare to even speak against the president; private property shall be taken for public use, without just compensation if it please the Executive or his agents (see Amendment IV).

Hopefully, this project will either never get anywhere, like all of Kushner’s other projects, or will have to be completed from the comfort of a federal prison.

I. Mangrey.  Bad craziness.  Panic first, ask questions later.                                                                                                                                                     

Today's new content below

Thought For The Day

Life Imitates Death

July 3, 2023

It’s a day in America, so it’s all but guaranteed there’s been a mass shooting. Today’s offering (as in sacrificial – to the Gun Gods, one assumes) was in Baltimore, Maryland. Two dead (so far) and 28 injured. “Injured” always sounds so banal to me. I’m guessing none of those injuries were in the range of paper cuts, or stepping on a nail. There needs to be more categories than just dead and injured. But, I digress.

You know how on tv it is unacceptable to swear or show any sort of nudity without warning potential viewers of the potential danger of hearing dangerous words or seeing certain apparently dangerous parts of the human anatomy, but there’s plenty of shooting and bleeding and dying available for our viewing pleasure? Network television simply cannot tolerate any of the language described above, or show any type of nudity, but shooting, bleeding and/or dying after being shot, those are completely acceptable. Sure, there’s a warning flashed on the screen beforehand to alert parents, but it’s still there night after night.

To recap, shooting okay, anything hinting at sexuality or dangerous words, verboten. Ladies and gentlemen, the United States of America.

Now, many politicos from the Fascist Party are banning books that deal honestly with slavery, racism, LGBTQ+ issues, sex and other things that make authoritarian religious extremists uncomfortable, but they are all for teaching young children how to survive a shooting rampage (though they go ballistic at the mere mention of trying to stop the relentless mass shootings) and how to tend to bullet wounds for their classmates, at least those whose faces have not been blown off.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think?

(Not So) Fun Fact For The Day

Clarence Thomas & The Extremes

July 1, 2023

The Extreme Court does it again. Despite being currently under scrutiny for the flagrant emolument binging exposed with Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito – two of the most controversial justices, even before being caught with their bloody claws in the cookie jar.

Their latest perfidy sees to it that non-millionaires are not given unfair advantages by shooting down Joe Biden’s attempt to forgive much of the economy and personal financial well-being-crippling caused by inappropriately massive student debt.

But wait, there’s more. The Court also managed to squeeze some more backwards-lunging legislating-from-the-Bench with the new No-Shirt-No-Shoes-No-Hetero-No-Service decision. It remains unclear whether or not the Court has mandated separate LGBTQ+ water fountains.

The funnest part of today’s fact is that reversal of the LGBTQ+ civil rights case above was based on a fake plaintiff and a non-existent defendant. It was all hypothetical – something every single Supreme Court nominee refuses to opine on during their confirmation hearings. And something that should have no place in any courtroom, let alone in front of the highest courtesan in the land. Oh, and in the student loan forgiveness case the so-called plaintiff wanted nothing to do with the case, but the valiant state of Missouri took it upon itself to speak for the non-plaintiff.

Fun, right?

Just thought you might like to know.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.